21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Jessica

Sean confuses me. Or maybe I'm the inexperienced one who is falling hopelessly for the charms of an experienced man. It just feels like there are moments where he's giving me bright green lights, and other moments it's a glaring red sign.

Are you interested in anyone else, aside from Rick? Sean's question plays over and over. I was tempted to answer him with, Yes, Sean. I'm interested in you. But I know saying those words out loud would end our friendship.

I envision Sean's reaction to that confession, and how his instant rejection would devastate me. Sean could never be interested in someone like me, I possess nothing he would want or truly desire. Besides being the girl next door and his best friend's sister, I'm just simple Jessica. Yes I write thriller novels and yes he enjoys them but he is much more of a rom-com guy. We're just too different. We always have been.

I step out of the shower and pull on a pair of joggers and t-shirt before walking downstairs to continue writing. I sit on the island, ready to start, when my phone buzzes. I roll my eyes with irritation, see that it's Rick and pick it up.

"Hello?" I answer with a bit of irritation.

"Hi, Jessica. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just trying to get some writing in and I keep having a bunch of interruptions. How are you?"

"Oh I'm sorry to intrude. I know you have a deadline so I'll keep the call short. Just calling to confirm our date for tomorrow. Are we still set?"

"We are. I'm looking forward to it." My guts twist at the lie, but I shake it off. I'm sure when tomorrow is here, I'll be in a better space and able to enjoy it.

"Really?" I hear the smile in his voice. "I'm glad to hear it. I've been looking forward to it too, so I'm happy to hear that we're on the same page."

"What time will you be picking me up tomorrow?" I ask him.

"I'll be there around six thirty."

"Perfect. I'm gonna go now so I can get some writing done. I will see you tomorrow."

"No problem. Hopefully you have a very productive night." I hear the sincerity in his voice and I feel bad for dismissing his call so quickly.

"Thank you for understanding. Good night."

I end the call, and set the phone down on the island before burying my face in my hands. I hope when tomorrow comes, my excitement is more than this, or else Rick will notice.

"That's a beautiful dress," Evelyn gasps, slapping a palm over her mouth dramatically. "Is it new?"

"No." I shake my head, twirling around to admire the fit from different angles. "I've had it in my closet, but I've never worn it."

"It's perfect. You look gorgeous in it. Rick is going to die when he sees you."

I turn to my phone, where Evelyn stares back at me in a video call. "Really?"

"Yup."

"Okay. How about shoes?" I run to my wardrobe and grab two pairs of shoes. One is a nude heel with frilly ropes to wrap around my ankle and the other a black wedge. I hold both shoes to the camera, and Evelyn stares at them briefly.

"The nude heel. Definitely the nude heel with the straps."

Sitting on the bed, I pull the nude heels on and wrap the ropes securely around my ankle. Evelyn was right. It works with the dress and pulls everything together.

"Oh Jessica. You look beautiful! When will Rick be getting there?"

I glance at the clock and hurry to the dresser to grab my bag. "He will be here anytime now. It's almost six thirty–"

I start to stuff my purse with all the necessities I might need for the night—money, lip gloss, powder, lipstick, and a debit card. When I reach for the phone, the doorbell rings.

"He's here."

"Enjoy your date, Jess. I mean it."

"Thanks Evie. I'll text you after it's done. Okay?"

"I can't wait! Bye."

I hang up the phone and slip it into my bag before hurrying out of the room. In the living room, I take a deep breath and slowly walk to the door. Rick is standing outside with a bouquet of daisies, wearing a blue button down shirt and blue dress pants. The man in front of me is absolutely gorgeous, but I don't feel any sparks as I look at him. No butterflies, no heart flutters, nothing. I can't help but feel disappointed.

His face splits into a smile when he sees me. "You look lovely, Jessica."

"Thank you, Rick." I force a smile and hope it looks genuine. I step back and invite him. "Please, come in."

Rick steps into the house, and gives the room a quick once over. "You have a wonderful place," he says and holds out the bouquet. "This is for you."

"Thank you so much. These are so pretty." I take the flowers from him. "Let me put these in a vase, then we can go."

"Sure."

In the kitchen, I take deep breaths while I trim the stems of the flowers and put them in my favorite goblet-shaped vase. Rick is a gentleman, a handsome one at that, so why don't I feel anything? When I realize I'm taking more time than necessary, I return to the living room, grab my bag, and approach Rick.

"Shall we leave?"

"Yes, ma'am." He gives me his elbow, and I loop my arm around it, laughing. As we walk toward his car, I glance at the house next door. The lights aren't on. I don't know what I expect to see, but Sean's absence disappoints me. It's not like I expect him to be waiting at his doorstep to watch Rick take me on a date, but I realize how much I was hoping to see him there watching. Guilt squeezes my heart, I catch myself frowning and make an awkward smile at the man helping me into the passenger seat.

"Thank you, Rick."

"You're welcome." He closes my door and walks in front of the car and gets in the driver's side.

"Where are we going?" I ask as the vehicle pulls away from the curb.

"The Loft." Rick glances at me. "Ever been there?"

"No." The Loft is another one of the five-star restaurants we have in town, and although I've never been, I've only heard good reviews. "But I hear their food is great."

"I can confirm that," Rick chuckles. "I had dinner there a few months ago, and their food was excellent."

At the front of the restaurant, a valet handles Rick's car while we walk into the chic and sophisticated restaurant. A uniformed staff approaches us at the door, takes our table number, and leads us to our reserved seats. Rick holds the chair out for me and ensures I'm comfortably seated before taking his seat across from me. Still nothing. My heart pricks with guilt again. He's such a sweet man.

"I'll direct a waitperson to your table to take your orders," the hostess says. "Please, if you need anything, do not hesitate to call us."

"Thank you," we chorus as she leaves. She's hardly gone when a waiter materializes before us. "What would you like to order, sir? ma'am?"

"Uhh…" I pick up the menu and eye the food list. There are many options, and after perusing for a few seconds, I don't know what to choose. "Rick, I don't know what to order." I groan.

"Don't worry. Let me surprise you." He points at something on the menu and shows it to the waiter, who nods and disappears again. "What did you order?" I ask Rick.

"Ribeye steak," he answers. "With asparagus and whipped potatoes."

"Sounds good."

"Good?" His eyes widen with mirth. "Trust me, it's excellent. You'll love it."

"I guess I'll have to trust you." I inwardly groan, I really don't want to be here.

Rick and I engage in a short conversation about the dating event until our food arrives. Like he said, the meal was excellent. I had to hold back the urge to wolf it down and eat like a lady. I think about how if it were Sean on the other side of the table, I would have devoured the dish, without worrying what he would think. Guilt slashes at me again, and I push Sean out of my mind and I feel a frown come upon my face.

After the main dish, we have dessert, and it is just as delicious. I'm impressed and would revisit this place a second time. After the waitress clears our table, Rick leans forward.

"You know the best thing I did this month?"

"No." I shake my head. "Tell me."

"Accepting an invite to attend a speed dating event," he says with a smile that spotlights a dimple. "To think that I almost didn't go because I didn't think I wanted a relationship."

"Really?"

"Yes," he laughs. "But when you walked into the room, I was rendered speechless. I knew you were the reason I was there that night."

"You saw me walk in?"

"Everyone saw you walk in," Rick laughs. "You were quite the topic in our break room."

"What?" I shake my head. "I didn't know that."

"I feel so lucky you decided to go on a date with me and I have an opportunity to get to know you better."

I swat his arm with a gentle tap. "You're a great guy."

"Thank you."

"You mentioned something about not being ready for a relationship," I say. "Why did you think that?"

Rick sighs. "Because I've been burned a few times, but haven't we all?"

"We sure have."

He shrugs. "It's not like I was against relationships, but I wasn't actively searching, you know? I've heard that relationships tend to find people when they aren't looking for it."

"I've heard the same."

"What about you?" He asks, staring at me with a gaze full of interest. It makes me a bit uncomfortable and I find myself looking anywhere but at him.

"What about me?"

"Yes. Why were you at the event?"

This time, I laugh. Because he would never understand the premise behind the event and why it was organized. No one else would understand except my friends and I. "Like I told you the other day, it was organized by my brother and friend. I had no choice but to attend."

It isn't a lie, but it's not the whole truth either.

"Well, I'm glad you came."

"Why are you so interested in me, Rick?" I ask.

He pauses for a few seconds, then smiles again. "I don't know. I guess I just kind of feel a connection with you. Call it fate or whatever, but when you walked into the cafe that day, I felt drawn to you. When I found out you were the writer of my favorite book, it just felt like fate had a hand in it. Then we had a great conversation, and I knew I had to see you again."

It is a satisfactory response, so I nod. I don't, however, expect him to throw the question back at me, but he does. "What about you, Jessica? Why are you interested in me?"

I want to ask how he knew I was, but I remember that I had written his name down on my scoresheet, which is why he had my number in the first place.

"Uhh…" I rack my head for pieces of our first meeting and conversation. "I think it's exactly as you said it. The connection. I don't acquaint myself with people easily, but when you sat at my table, we seemed to connect."

"Yeah–"

"It's also a bonus that you love thrillers, for real. Like the icing on the cake." I say this more for myself, to convince myself that Rick is higher on the scale than Sean. But I can feel the lie and frown again.

I catch myself and awkwardly smile.

Rick shrugs. "After a great date I am hoping that I'll get to see a lot more of you," he says.

My heart beats faster and I wipe my palms on my dress. "Let's take things one step at a time and see where it leads."

Rick doesn't say much after that, he pays the bill and suggests we head home. It's almost ten. According to Sean O'Connell, having a girl home by ten is the proper thing to do. When we get to the car Rick holds the door open for me as I slide into the passenger seat. He closes the door and walks over to the driver's side. The drive home is quiet but comfortable. Yet, I have a feeling that Rick might be bothered about something.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Jessica?" He asks as we near my house.

"I did." It's the truth.

"Me too," he says. "Thank you for honoring my invite."

He pulls his car next to the curb and opens my car door. Once again, I find myself glancing at Sean's house, but it's dark and looks like no one is home. I look away and let Rick walk me onto the porch. We stare silently at each other for a moment, and I know he's expecting me to invite him in. I won't be doing that. Rick is a wonderful person but he's not the one for me.

When I don't invite him in, Rick steps backward a bit, still smiling at me. His gaze falls to my lips, and I instantly recognize that he wants to kiss me. I clear my throat.

"Uhm…call me when you get home, okay?" I say as I turn to put my key in the lock.

"When can I see you again, Jessica?"

"I'm not sure, Rick. I'm working on my next book and the deadline is coming up fast. It's probably best that I focus on getting that done."

He stares at me for a moment, and an expression of understanding dawns on his face. "Of course. You know I will be the first person in line to read it. Thank you for a wonderful night, Jessica."

I watch him walk to his car, knowing that Sean is the reason I no longer want to pursue a potential relationship with Rick. There is no guarantee that Sean and I will ever end up together, but it would be wrong for me to lead Rick on when my heart belongs to someone else. I watch Rick's tail lights get smaller and then I disappear into my house.