21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Evie

The sunlight shines through my bedroom window, promising a beautiful day. As I stretch, a smile crosses my lips.

Last night was perfect—better than perfect. I can still feel Jamie's strong arms keeping me from falling, literally, of course, not metaphorically. The truth is, I am head over heels in love with Jamie Stewart.

And he's in love with me. "EEEEEK!" I squeak in joy while kicking my feet under the covers. I push out of bed and head to make some coffee, humming as I go.

I have plenty of time before Jessica's final wedding dress fitting in a few hours.

The dress is perfect, and I can't wait to see how it looks fitted for her.

I'm getting my coffee started when a text alert goes off. I pick up my phone and feel my lips quirk up.

Jamie: Good morning, beautiful. Jamie: Are you available to meet at Espresso Yourself around ten? Jamie: I'd like to clear the air about why I left.

I stare at the words, and my lips drop as my stomach swirls. Yes, I want to know why he left like he did. And no, I don't think it's bad, not really. So what am I afraid of?

My fingers hover over the keyboard.

Stop it, Evie! His reaching out to you and wanting to explain is good!

I begin typing my reply.

Me: I have Jess's final fitting at eleven, but ten can work. Me: Is that enough time?

Jamie: It should be, but we can always talk more at a later time if you feel like it isn't.

We can always talk more at a later time if I want.

It may not seem like a big deal, but for Jamie, it's immense. Getting that boy to talk is like pulling teeth.

Me: Great! Me: I'll see you at ten, then.

Every part of me feels like it's vibrating and my pulse is racing. My heart pounds so hard I swear it's going to punch through my chest.

I leave my coffee to percolate as I head to the shower, not sure that I'll need it now. I find myself skipping as adrenaline runs through my body knowing that in a little under two hours I'll be seeing Jamie.

Ding.

Jamie: I'll have your Peppermint Latte with cream ready and waiting.

My mouth lifts, knowing he remembers my favorite Christmas drink. I put my phone on the counter and turn the water on.

Ding .

Jamie: I love you.

Okay, that last text was completely worth the delay .

My lips expand into a full grin, and I type back without hesitation.

Me: I love you, too.

I hum Holly Jolly Christmas as I finally step into the shower.

I pull into a spot in front of Espresso Yourself and turn off the engine. As I shut the car door, I get a text. It's from Jessica.

Jessica: How come you didn't tell me you were meeting up with my brother at Espresso Yourself? arms crossed emoji

I shake my head and laugh as I respond.

Me: Because I figured I'd tell you when I saw you for the wedding gown fitting. eye roll emoji Me: I will also have more to tell you than just Jamie and I are meeting up.

Jessica: Oh. Jessica: Yeah. Jessica: Good Point. Jessica: You still should've told me though. angry emoji

There's that grumpy best friend I know and love. I smirk as I ignore her grumpiness.

Me: See you in a little bit. smiley face emoji

Jessica: sticking out tongue emoji

I toss my phone and keys in my purse, and head to the entrance.

"Evie," Jamie's voice calls out right as my hand reaches for the door handle.

My body hums with the sound of my name on his lips. I turn around and almost bump into him. The scent of him envelops me and I have to do everything to keep my eyes from closing as I take a deep inhale and breathe him in.

"You look great." He leans in to kiss me on the cheek, then opens the door for me. The place where his lips landed tingles, and I have to stop myself from lifting my hand to that cheek. "I was planning to get here before you but as you can see, that didn't happen."

"No worries." I dismiss his concern by waving a hand in the air. "I'm a little bit early."

The smell of coffee, the warm air, and the buzz of chatter hit me as soon as I step into the coffee shop. Jamie puts his hand on my back and steps up next to me.

"Why don't you grab a table, and I'll go get our drinks?"

The warmth in his brown eyes as they roam my face has my insides buzzing. When he meets my gaze, I can see the gold and green flecks dancing in his eyes. I nod my head and watch him as he walks toward the counter to place our orders.

My hand is resting on my scarf, but I seem to be frozen in place. I can't help but admire Jamie's tall, broad frame, confidently walking up to the counter and talking to the barista. The deep baritone of his voice grabs my stomach and pulls.

He turns to me and smiles. A slow grin creeps across my face in response. Finally, my feet lose their heaviness, and I walk toward a table.

Jamie is back with our drinks just as I've taken off my coat.

"Peppermint Latte with no foam." He slides the coffee to me, and our hands meet. My entire body zings with energy at the touch.

"Thank you." I smile into his eyes, then take a sip and moan. "Perfect."

He places his coffee on the table as he takes off his coat and places it on the back of the chair. After he sits, he takes a sip of his coffee. "Mmmmm. This is delicious. It really does taste like Christmas in your mouth."

My eyes widen, and I laugh. "You didn't just say that!"

"But it does!" He says seriously. "I used to think Sean was being overdramatic when he would say that, but he wasn't."

"Oh, geez." I roll my eyes at him, and he laughs at me.

I take another sip of my drink and chuckle as I think of his words. I would die before I admit this to him or my brother, but if Christmas had a taste, it would be this latte. I stare at the top of my cup to keep him from seeing the smirk trying to cross my lips.

He reaches out and grabs one of my hands, surprising me. When I look up at him, I can see any joking is gone. The look in his eyes is earnest.

"Evie, when I ended things with you, it was because I was scared. I know that I told you that I wasn't sure how long I would be gone, but that was a lie." His eyes flick to our hands, and then he meets my gaze again. "My dating track record isn't the best, and when things shifted with you, it was—"

"Unexpected," I interject.

"Very unexpected." A crooked smile crosses his face. He chuckles and nods his head. "But in the best way."

He looks at me intently, and I feel my stomach start to churn; I don't know why I'm feeling nervous, but I am. Suddenly, his expression softens and I release the breath I was holding.

"I was so very afraid that I would mess things up like I always do and I knew I couldn't do that with you. You deserve the best. I just wasn't sure I could be that for you." He pulls my hand toward him, laces his fingers with mine, and breathes out a heavy sigh.

I want so badly to let him know that it's okay now, and I understand. But there is some intuition that holds me back. It's as if I know he needs to finish without my help. So I sit quietly and wait for him to continue.

"I regretted what I did before I even left town. I thought about it over and over, but I didn't know how to fix it. I was ashamed of myself for being such a coward and hurting you like I did. But at the same time, I didn't want to hurt you by not being able to really commit to what was happening between us." He lifts his eyes to mine, and I see a slight gleam in them. "Plus, Sean would've had my head."

Tears sting the back of my eyes, and I squeeze his hand. "Liam would've been there too," I tease.

"Hmm. Maybe I should be more afraid of Liam than Sean," he chuckles. "Sean likes to act tough, but Liam actually is."

"I won't tell Sean you said that." My lips quirk.

"I'd appreciate that." He laughs, then his expression softens, and his gaze pins mine. The sincerity in them makes my breath catch. "Work kept me really busy. I was so busy that I had little time to think of anything, but anytime something happened, you were the one I wanted to tell. You were the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the face I saw as I closed my eyes when I fell asleep. If I had any downtime, I would think of you and how stupid I was. I just hope that you can—"

"Jamie, I do forgive you," I say earnestly, not able to stay quiet any longer. "I was hurt with how you left, but I think there was a part of me that understood why you did it."

The look in his eyes is a combination of relief, regret, and gratitude.

"I've known you forever. I know how you are. Jess and I would joke about you and the women you would date."

"What?" His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

"C'mon! You act like you weren't the biggest player." I push our still-entwined hands toward him. "It was easy to see how unavailable you've always been. Work just seemed to come first, and if anyone could understand that it was me."

He squeezes my hand, and for the first time today, I see an openness in his eyes, but at my next words, sadness tinges his expression.

"When you left like you did, I felt foolish and that I had misread everything. I couldn't help but question my perception of what was happening. And then you never even sent a text…"

"Evie." The tone of his voice tugs at my heart. "I was just being downright dumb. For someone as smart as I am, I'm really stupid when it comes to feelings. Plus, I wasn't sure you would respond."

"I probably wouldn't have," I laugh. "I was really upset."

"If how angry you were at Jess' ugly sweater party is any indication, it's probably better that I didn't reach out."

"I'm not so sure about that…you didn't have to deal with me on a daily basis for the last six months." I squeeze his hand again to let him know that although I'm being serious, I'm not holding a grudge. "I think everyone would've preferred it ifyou had begged for my forgiveness."

"You really are cute when you're angry." I scoff at him. He snickers at the idea of me giving everyone a hard time and lifts my hand to his lips for a kiss. "I love learning all the different aspects of you, but I much prefer the version that is a ray of sunshine."

I narrow my eyes at him in warning. "Well then, just don't do stupid things, and you won't see that grumpy side often."

The warmth in his expression as he looks at me makes my body fill with warmth, but then my stomach suddenly falls to the floor. "Wait, what about your job?"