13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Evie

"You and my brother aren't cute." I try to convey my annoyance at Jessica and Sean's meddling in my love life, but all I can think about is Jamie and how he looked at me right before he closed my car door. My body is still buzzing.

There's something different about him, but I can't put my finger on what it is. For the first time, I don't feel like I'm the one leading things—he's the one picking the roads we're on. And it's throwing me for a loop.

Jamie is the opposite of Jessica. Jessica is a bull in a china shop with loud opinions that she makes sure everyone knows. Jamie is more of a go-with-the-flow type of person, always present but quietly so. Even with Sean, Jamie is usually just an accessory.

Not in a bad way, just quiet, if that makes sense.

But now I feel a bit more like he's the bull and I'm the china shop. I shake my head; that doesn't make any sense.

"I don't know what you're talking about. My publisher called a last-minute meeting." Her voice doesn't hold the conviction of someone who feels bad for blowing me off and forcing me to spend alone time with her brother. Who she knows I'm mad at.

"Riiiight. Just like Sean's manager needed him at the same exact time. Got it. Just promise me that you won't do that to me again."

"Well, since I didn't do anything on purpose, I can't promise it won't happen again." I roll my eyes so hard I'm surprised I don't hurt myself.

"So tell me how it went! What did Jacob say?" So we're changing the topic now, I guess. I can go with that. I know what she and Sean are doing, and she knows I know. There's not much else to say about it at the moment.

It also means that I need to prepare myself for spending more time alone with Jamie, the man I was falling in love with before he left me, the man who just told me he's in love with me.

My heart races at the thought of seeing him again, alone. I'm not sure I stand a chance. I think about the mistletoe at the party and how I wanted him to kiss me—in front of everyone.

"Great. Just great." I mumble.

"Stuff with Jacob went great? That's fantastic!" Jessica squeaks. I bet she's doing this new bouncy thing. It's either clapping her hands together or bouncing on her toes. Sometimes both.

I'm brought back to my conversation with Jacob, and the excitement I have for the party has the stress I feel for spending more time with Jamie melting away.

There isn't any real reason for them to have this party except that Sean wants to. He wants to make sure Jessica knows exactly how much he adores her. And he doesn't do anything small.

"Are you sure that you're on board with ice skating?" I giggle, remembering the two of us the last time we went to the rink. It was in high school, and neither of us could skate. We spent most of our time in the center laughing, clutching each other because neither one of us could stay standing.

One of the instructors came over and helped us off the ice individually, both of us cackling the entire time. After that moment, we decided ice skating wasn't for us and swore never to go again.

"This time, yes." I hear Jessica chuckle as she recalls the same memory. "When Sean brought up ice skating, I cringed and told him that story. Since then, he's taken me skating a few times, and I'm pretty sure I won't be falling or stuck with you in the middle of the ice."

A smile creeps across my face as I shake my head. I swear there is nothing that brother of mine can't do. Okay, that's not completely true; there are plenty of things he can't do. He just seems to know how to do all the ones that make the ladies swoon.

Sean is a great actor, but the reason he plays the main male character of romantic comedies so well is because he LOVES romance.

"Evie? Tell me what Jacob said." Jessica snaps my attention back to the topic at hand and away from all the ways my brother impresses me.

"It's going to be perfect!" I can't keep the excitement out of my voice. I make a left onto my street, and a new coating of light snow is on the road. "Jacob's previous events have been amazing. The lights, the hot chocolate stands, the fire pits. Oh, and the s'mores tables. Jessica, it's going to be so ridiculous that I wouldn't be surprised if they added it to one of Sean's movies."

"I told him I'd kill him if he let any of his producers use details from our wedding in one of his movies." She growls. I can imagine the scowl on her face and press my lips together to keep the laughter from bubbling out.

My grumpy best friend has been absent as of late with the madly in-love Jessica around, but every once in a while, she shows up and it's so fun to witness.

"I'll bet he was definitely scared." I can't help but tease her, which she completely misses.

"Oh, trust me, he knew I was serious." I can picture the lines in her forehead just getting a bit deeper. Her scowl still in place, but with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I bet he did." I can't hold the laugh that's been tickling my belly, and I let it loose.

"Now I don't regret making you spend time with Jamie alone!" She spits out, and I laugh harder.

"I knew it!" I'm not sure why I keep laughing when I should be angry at her admission, but I do, and it feels good. For the first time since I heard Jamie's voice over the phone in my office, I feel a bit like the old Evie, which is ironic because her confirming what I thought should be upsetting me.

My brother and my best friend are playing matchmaker. I really ought to be angry at the two of them. I should, but I'm not. I'm not because Jamie knows, and he's on board with it. That thought actually makes me happy.

What if Jamie really does want to be with me? My heart skips a beat.

"You're not supposed to be laughing," Jessica bemoans, and I'm pulled away from my thoughts. "And I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Oh, so lying was the better option?" I chastise with a giggle. "You and Sean are both horrible liars. I mean, come on. Putting us on the same team, setting us up under the mistletoe. Both of you canceling last minute because of your publisher and manager? Seriously?"

"Evie, you've been miserable since Jamie's been gone."

"Not miserable—" I half-heartedly deny.

"Evie!" She says sternly, stopping the rest of my words from falling. "You never said anything to me about Jamie and he never said anything to Sean, but we could all see something was happening. And when he left, you lost a bit of your luster."

She's not wrong, and I don't want to deny what she just said. The fact of the matter is I'm tired of not being honest about my feelings with myself and everyone else. Maybe most of all, I'm tired of not being honest with Jamie.

It's been hard these last six months to act like I'm okay, telling everyone I'm fine when they could clearly see I wasn't.

Not once did I mention Jamie's name while he was away, and when anyone else told me something he was doing or said, I politely replied and then changed the subject. I ignored their questioning looks and acted like I didn't notice it.

We all knew it was an act. But that's how I was going to play it, like nothing was wrong.

Like my heart hadn't been ripped from my chest and stomped on when Jamie left. Like it wasn't in pieces at my feet at how cold he was. I would act like everything was fine because I had to.

I didn't know what to do with myself after that day. I was confused, angry, hurt, and more than anything, I felt abandoned.

This wasn't just anyone; it was Jamie. My best friend's brother, my brother's best friend, and the son of my parents' closest friends. Someone I've known my entire life.

Yes, he's always been somewhat of a serial dater, which I never fully understood. I just never thought he would do that with me.

All of these different thoughts and feelings have me so confused. Can I trust Jamie? Will things be different? Or do I just want them to be different?

I let out a sigh.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" I take a deep breath and blow it out at Jess' question. "Right, Evie?"

"Yeah, I know," I say quietly. "I'm just not sure how to talk about this…"

"It's hilarious how you can get me to talk about anything and everything, yet you tend to keep things to yourself."

I don't say anything because, once again, she's right, and I don't have any words. I've always been better at helping others with their feelings than expressing mine. It makes no sense, and yet, it's the truth.

This thing with Jamie has always scared me, not because of what my family or his family would think. After they had embraced Sean and Jessica, it was pretty obvious they would be thrilled to have Jamie and me together.

But what would crossing that line with Jamie mean?

Jamie and I have always been the two stable siblings, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Jessica and Sean have always had big dreams, which have both come to fruition. Jamie and I were the cheerleaders in the background who picked unexciting jobs—me, a baker, and him, technology.

Because of that, we have always been paired together, and it's been a comfort all this time. When things started changing between us, it just sort of happened and felt…natural. Inevitable, if you will.

Why wouldn't the two stable siblings end up together?

I don't mean boring; Jamie and I were never boring—we just fit together…easily.

But then Jamie left. My trust in him always being there was shattered. Can I trust him not to run again?

"Evie?" Jessica interrupts my thoughts. "You don't have to go through this alone. We all love you and want you to be happy."

I take a deep breath as I process her words.

"Plus, me being happy and you being grumpy is freaking the entire family out."

A smile crosses my face at her words, and I can't help but laugh out loud. "You know it's been a bit fun keeping everyone on their toes as to which Evie they're going to get. Is this how you feel?"

She lets out a slightly maniacal chuckle. "I must admit it has been a bit fun."

I laugh with her. "Thanks, Jess. I will talk when I know what to talk about."

"Remember, sometimes talking is what helps us gain clarity about a situation. You not talking hasn't served you."

I pause while putting my purse on the table at her words. When did my best friend get so very wise?