10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Jamie

I have to admit that a part of me likes angry Evie. Yeah, I know it sounds masochistic, but it makes her feel more human. It's not Evie's natural disposition. She's usually this ball of sunshine and seemingly perfect. In fact, I can count on one hand how many times I've seen her truly annoyed before I came back home.

This anger directed solely at me makes me want to crawl under a rock and hug her at the same time. I never thought I would experience those conflicting emotions, especially since I hate confrontation, but I do. I'm embarrassed about how I acted, and yet I want to hold her until any of her fears that I'll leave her again fade away .

She's even more captivating than I remember, and I have no intention of letting her slip through my fingers again. I was beyond foolish.

"Great, so we will meet you at the rink tomorrow at three." Sean kisses Jess on the cheek before he gently nudges her to stand as they get ready to leave. I feel an intense sense of longing as I look at Evie. Her side profile looks at Jess and Sean. She has the sweetest smile on her face, and my heart races. My eyes fall to her lips.

"Jamie?" I whip my head over to Sean, feeling like a schoolboy caught doing something he was told not to.

"Yes, tomorrow at three. At the ice rink," I repeat, clearing my throat. "I'll be there with bells and whistles." Sean slaps me on the back again, hard. I flinch and then rub the spot. I shoot him a glare and see the mischievous glint in his eye. He knows exactly what he's doing. He narrows his eyes at me, and I can't stop the laugh that pushes through.

I've known the O'Connells almost my entire life. The one thing I learned really quickly is that Evie and Sean hardly ever get mad. So much so, that both of them got the happiest person award for our high school yearbook.

Liam was the ‘normal' one out of the three siblings. And by ‘normal', I mean he was occasionally moody like the rest of us. Being best friends with someone who is almost always in a good mood is hard, but I think of how Sean's brightness has lightened up Jessica and I must admit it has its perks.

The problem I'm running into now is that I'm in completely unknown territory with how to deal with an angry Evie. Especially since it's directed at me, it doesn't help that Evie is just so stinking cute when she's upset. I can't help it. You should see her eyes sparkle as she glares at me. I just want to put my hands on her cheeks and pull her lips to mine.

I'm pretty sure that's not the reaction she's hoping her anger is inspiring.

"Jamie? Were you listening to me?" Evie's voice breaks through my thoughts of kissing her, and I feel heat creep up my neck.

"Sorry," I say self-consciously. "What did you say?"

"I said I really have to get back to work."

"Oh." I look at her, and my heart sinks as I see the lackluster look in her eyes. Give me happy Evie or angry Evie, but please leave apathetic Evie tucked away somewhere never to be seen again. "Evie—"

She looks at her laptop, dismissing me.

"Are you sure you're okay doing these duties with me?" I try to rekindle the humor of Sean's horrible joke with no success.

She meets my eyes, and there is not even the smallest spark of light in them. My stomach knots. "Yes, I can handle being around you and not caring."

"Do you really not care?" My chest tightens, and I can't stop the desperation that falls from my lips. My eyes capture hers as she looks up at me. I see a small bit of uncertainty and confusion. "I know I should've handled things differently when I left. I don't know why I did what I did."

"It doesn't matter why," she cuts me off, the hardness is back in her eyes. "It's done."

A sigh escapes my lips at the hopelessness I feel. "Yes, it's done, and I can't go back and change it, no matter how much I want to. Evie, the reason I came to see you today was—"

"Jamie, please." The pleading in her eyes stops me in my tracks. It's in that moment that I realize the anger is a defense for her pain. The pain that I see reflected in her eyes causes my heart to ache. It's there because of my actions, because of my fear. As much as I want her to forgive me, I realize that now isn't the time for this conversation.

"I understand. Are you sure you're okay working on the MOH and BM duties Sean and Jess have planned for us?" I ask again as I gaze into her eyes, praying that she can see the remorse I feel. I try again to thaw a bit of the deep freeze coming from her with Sean's corny joke, even though I can't believe I'm letting the words fall from my mouth.

"Yes." She rolls her eyes and smiles at me. My heart races with that smile. Okay, sounding like an idiot was worth it. "But please stop saying ‘BM duties'. We don't want to encourage Sean."

We both chuckle and for a moment, I get lost in her eyes as I feel our old connection. Her smile falls a bit, and she breaks eye contact, going back to typing furiously on her laptop. I stay sitting for a little bit, reluctant to leave her presence. Finally, I push myself up from my seat and head to the door.

I pause and turn back to her and just watch her typing. "Evie." I continue to look at her until she meets my gaze. My heart skips a beat, and I feel the corners of my lips lift slightly. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow."

Her mouth falls open a bit, and her eyes widen. A smile creeps up my face, emboldened by her response, which has her scowling at me again. I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face or the words that fall from my mouth.

"You know I can't help but fall a little bit more in love with you when you're angry, right?" The scowl falls from her face as her eyes widen in surprise. "I can't help but fall in love with you more every day. I am in love with you, Evelyn O'Connell. I think I always have been. I know I've been a complete fool, but I promise I will make it up to you."

My palms start to sweat and my heart pounds against my ribcage. That is not how I intended to tell Evie I'm in love with her, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Just before I walk out of the office, leaving Evie staring at me with a look of utter shock, I wink at her. Her expression doesn't change, and if anything her mouth gets closer to her desk.

I close the door behind me and slide my phone from my pocket. The bells chime overhead as I walk out of the bakery and dial. The smile on my face expands as I feel just a tiny bit of excitement and terror at what I'm about to agree to.

"Sean. I just told Evie that I love her. What was I thinking?"

"What?!" Jessica shrieks, then claps her hands. What is up with her and the hand clapping? "That's perfect! Evie needs to know how you feel!"

"You put me on speaker?" I blow out a big breath and shake my head back and forth. My stomach clenching.

"I don't have any secrets from my bride!" I can hear the smile in his voice. "And Jess is right, you telling her is perfect!"

"Ugh." I rub my hand up and down my face feeling completely exposed. "So I guess that means I no longer have any secrets from my sister?"

"Nope!" They say together.

"Wonderful." My attempt to sound angry falls short, and I hear them laugh. "So what is the first part of this plan?"

"You're in?" Jessica squeaks.

My stomach churns like a volcano as I start to second guess putting my love life in their hands. No one knows Evie better than Jess, and for all of Sean's quirks, he is pretty good at the whole matchmaking thing.

"Yes, but don't make me regret it," I respond, pointing at no one. "I was foolish to leave her like I did. I lost her once; I don't want to lose Evie a second time."

"Evie was miserable while you were away, Jamie. She loves you just as much as you love her."

"Are there no secrets in this family?"

"I'm sure there are—you just don't know them." Jessica giggles, and I groan. "Look, Sean and I got the two of you under the mistletoe, right?"

"We'll set up all the scenarios; you just need to play them right. Got it?" I roll my eyes at Sean and Jessica, finishing each other's sentences.

What have I gotten myself into?

Then I remind myself that desperate times call for desperate measures and letting Sean and Jessica play matchmaker for me and Evie tells you exactly how desperate I feel.

"Got it."