Epilogue

"A re you sure you are ready for this?" Clayton asks as he parks his car.

I'm really not, but it's been too long. I have been trying to get Kellan to talk to me for months. Every time we finally meet, something happens, and we can't have the conversation we really need to have. I can't keep going on like this.

While he spent the semester avoiding me, I've spent it learning and growing into the woman I want to be. I wanted him to be the one with me as I found myself, but he wasn't. Clayton was.

I always thought Kellan was the one. Now I know that I was wrong.

With Kellan, I sat on the sidelines so long watching him fall in love with each flavor of the week, and somewhere along the way, I fell out of love with him. I didn't even realize it had happened. It took finding Clay to see that I hadn't been in love with Kellan for a long time. It's time I let him know.

"I am. I'll be back soon."

I lean over and kiss him before getting out of the car.

I take my time and walk to a park bench and sit down. I don't know how long I sit there before Kellan finally shows up.

"Hey."

"Hi, thank you for coming," I tell him.

"Of course. I'm sorry it's taken this long." He takes the seat on the bench next to me.

The park is desolate, which is not surprising. The weather seems to have gotten the memo that today isn't going to be a good day. The sky is dreary. It looks as if it could rain at any moment.

With the way I feel, I wouldn't be surprised if it did. Today is going to be one of the hardest days of my life.

"Can I ask why you have been avoiding me? You said you wanted me, then you basically ghosted."

He swallows hard before hanging his head. "I was scared."

"Of what? Me?"

"Of losing you. It's like I was watching you slip away before my eyes. Every time I would try to do something that we used to, you didn't react the same way as you used to. I felt like you left me behind."

My heart feels like it is being ripped to shreds. I never wanted Kellan to feel that way. He's my best friend. Even after the past few months, I still love him, just not the way I once did. I never want him to be hurt.

"Kellan," I start, but he holds up a hand.

"Let me get this out, Grace. I need to."

"Okay," I whisper.

"I didn't appreciate you the way I should have. I was young and dumb. I knew you liked me, and truthfully, I liked you too, but I…" He trails off before sighing. "There's no good excuse, honestly. I think I thought you would always be there waiting for me. It wasn't fair of me."

"It wasn't," I admit.

He turns to me, taking my hand in his. "I see now that I fucked up, Gracie Bear. I should have cherished you all along. I don't want to keep doing that. Please, can we give us a real shot? The one I should have taken when we were in high school?"

I suck in a breath. This is the boy who has been by my side for years. The one who I told all my secrets to. The one who I thought would be my husband one day. Only now can I see that I might have been the right girl for him, but it was at the wrong time.

"I'm not the same girl I was a couple months ago, Kellan. I don't want the same things," I admit softly, the tears starting to fall down my face.

"I love you, Grace."

I shake my head. "I'm sorry."

I can see how those words hit him. He has his own tears in his eyes now. I really wish things had happened differently for us. That we had made different decisions back then before I met Clayton. In another lifetime, we would have been together, and I think we would have had a good life.

Then again, I can't imagine my life without Clayton. I wouldn't trade what we have for the world.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. You can't make your heart want something it doesn't want." Kellan's voice is raspy.

I hate seeing him upset like this. I have only ever seen him cry one other time. When his grandma died when he was sixteen. Knowing I'm the cause of his tears has my heart squeezing tightly.

"I do love you, Kellan," I whisper, my own tears taking over my face.

"I know you do. You just don't love me the same way I love you. That's okay." He nods, but the look on his face betrays his words.

He is devastated.

"I feel so guilty," I murmur. "I don't want you to hate me."

"Stop. I could never hate you even if I tried. You've been my best friend since we were freshmen in high school. We will be best friends until we are old and gray. I just need some space to get over you," he tells me as he stands.

I stand, before stepping forward, reaching out to touch his hand. He moves away from me, making me suck in a breath.

Nothing will ever be the same.

"I didn't know. I wish I had known," I sob.

"It wouldn't have changed anything. Tell me, if you could go back and love me instead of him, would you?"

That's the crux of it all. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing, but I can't say the same would be true had he grown up a little faster. Had he told me how he felt before I met Clayton, we might not be here right now.

That's not the case, though. There is only one answer to his question.

"No."

"Exactly, so stop feeling guilty for going for what you want. I would never want you to choose me over making yourself happy. I'm going to be okay eventually. I just need time to heal." He moves closer, kissing me on the forehead. "You'll always be my Gracie Bear. No matter what."

He walks backward for a moment, as if taking me in one last time. As he turns, I call to him.

"You promise you'll come back and we will be friends again?"

"We're friends now, but sometimes friends need some space. You'll still see me around. Focus on Clayton. Let me have a chance to get over you."

As soon as his back is to me, I break down. My body falls to the ground as the emotions overtake me. My sobs come harder as I watch him walk to the edge of the park. Clayton is standing there, witnessing this all. I knew he would be. He told me he wasn't going far.

Still, watching him interact with Kellan only makes me hurt more. They are teammates. This is going to affect them too.

I really went and made a mess of all of this.

I watch as Clayton walks my way, giving me a sad smile. He sits right on the ground with me, pulling me into his lap. "It's going to be okay, Shorty. I've got you," he whispers against my ear.

"Did I just lose one of my best friends forever?" I sob into his neck.

"I don't know. You may never be the same again, but I think he will still be your friend. You can't blame yourself for this. People grow. It's part of life. Some friends are meant to be in your life for a season. Some for only a lesson. Others will be with you even through the storms. Some bend and crack, but heal. You have to have faith that your bond with him will be strong enough to heal."

That only makes me cry harder.

"What do you need me to do?" he asks after a moment.

"Just hold me. Don't leave me."

"Never."

Watching Grace break over the loss of her friendship with Kellan killed me. It didn't matter that the friendship basically ended at the beginning of the year, it didn't make it hurt any less. It took everything in me not to knock him the fuck out when he passed me in the parking lot. I knew, even from a distance, that he made her cry, and I fucking hate it when she cries.

Kellan glares when he sees me. "You'll take care of her?"

"Always," I say without hesitation.

His jaw clenches as he nods before he walks away.

"I could use a nap," Grace mutters as we pull up to my place, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I cringe. "That might have to wait."

She looks over at me and frowns. "Why do you say that?"

"You'll see," I tell her as I get out of the car.

I wait for Grace by the hood, and we head into our place together. When we walk in, our friends look our way from where they are sitting around the living room.

"How's our jelly bean doing?" Beckett asks.

"I'm fine. What's all this?" she asks as she takes in the coffee table filled with all sorts of snacks.

"Well, we knew meeting up with dipshit was going to be hard for you, so we decided to do something nice for you. Now drink up buttercup, we have a lot to celebrate," Peyton says as she walks into the living room and shoves a drink into Grace's hand.

"What are we celebrating?" Grace asks as she takes the cup from her best friend.

"Hold that thought and let us get drinks," Brett says as he jumps up.

We all move into the kitchen, and the guys and I grab drinks.

"All right, ready now?" Peyton teases.

"You may proceed," Brett tells her.

"Cheers to another school year down," Peyton says.

We all say cheers in unison and continue after everyone says their piece.

"Cheers to lifelong friendships and love," Grace says as she squeezes my hand.

"Cheers to another kick-ass season and coming home champions," Beckett says.

"Cheers for Wyatt leaving his room for more than hockey and school." Brett smirks.

Wyatt rolls his eyes and mumbles, "Cheers to passing all of our classes and getting a summer away from your dumb ass."

When it's my turn, I take my time and look at the group around me. "Cheers to found family," I tell them.

"And with all that, I need another drink. Who else wants one?" Brett says as he drops his empty can in the trash.

"Me," Beckett says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks at the screen. "Pizza is on the way. And don't worry, I remembered what everyone ordered last time and took liberties to get it again."

Peyton turns toward him and pats his chest. "Aw, you are trainable."

Beckett rolls his eyes. "I think you meant to say thank you."

Peyton hums. "I said what I said."

I wrap my arm around Grace's shoulders. "Are you okay?"

She looks up at me and smiles. "I'm better now. You seriously didn't have to do all of this, thank you."

I shake my head. "I didn't do this. It was all them."

"They really are the best," she says with a small smile.

"Pey, you need to watch that mouth, or I'm going to put you over my knee and paddle your ass," Beckett warns her.

"Aw, promises, promises," Peyton coos.

Grace turns and looks at me wide-eyed. "Are our friends flirting?"

"I think so."

"I don't know if I love or hate the idea."

I brush a piece of hair away from her face. "Why would you hate it?"

"Well, I'd love to have another couple in our friend group. Peyton and I are outnumbered as it is, even with your sister joining next year. I kind of hate it, though, because if they do get together, they could break up and then make us choose sides. Which I won't do."

"It's not our business either way," I remind her.

"I know," she groans.

"Hey, if you're going to make those kinds of noises, you might as well go to the bedroom now," Brett says as he walks by. "But if I were you, I'd get into the living room and fast. We ordered you some fancy-ass jelly beans, and they are good as fuck."

Grace's eyes widen as she pulls away from me. "Wait, what do you mean fancy jelly beans?"

"Wyatt found some that are flavored to taste like SweeTARTS and Sour Patch Kids."

Grace gasps as her hand moves to her chest. "You did that for me?"

Wyatt shifts in his seat and mumbles, "It was nothing."

Grace walks up behind him and throws her arms around his shoulders. "It was everything, and you know it. Thank you."

Wyatt is visibly uncomfortable, and as much as I find it amusing, I do the guy a solid and save him.

"All right, enough of that. The only man I like you hanging on is me," I say as I place my hands on her shoulders, gently pulling her back.

"Who knew you were such a caveman," she teases.

"I'll show you a caveman." I lean down and kiss her.

"None of that, some of us are single," Peyton says.

I feel something bounce off my cheek and pull away from my girl. I look down at the floor and chuckle before looking back at Peyton. "Did you just throw popcorn at me?"

Peyton shrugs with a tiny smile on her face. "So what if I did? What are you going to do about it?"

Grace sighs dramatically. "Play nice, kids, or I'll have to put you in time out."

"Pretty sure Clay's time out would involve you, so I don't think he would learn his lesson. If anything, it would encourage him to keep acting out," Brett quips, making Grace groan as everyone else laughs.

I look down at Grace and smile. She must feel my eyes on her because she turns and looks my way.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I love you." I shrug.

Grace's eyes soften. "I love you too."

The End.