Chapter Twenty-Two

I look down at my phone and read the text for the millionth time.

Clay: Can you meet me today? I need to talk to you.

Sighing, I darken my screen. My mind can't help but race with the possibilities of what he could want to talk about. Is he going to break up with me? I cringe as soon as the thought crosses my mind. You can't break up with someone when you aren't together. Even if it feels like you might be.

"Hey."

I turn and look over my shoulder. "Hey, how are you?"

As soon as Clay is close enough, he pulls me into a hug, putting me slightly at ease.

Surely, he wouldn't break my heart after giving me a hug.

I clear my throat and push the thoughts away.

"I'm good. You?" he says as he pulls back slightly.

I offer him a weak smile. "Same."

"Will you take a walk with me?" he asks, pointing over his shoulder at the trail that runs through campus.

"Sure."

He takes my hand in his, and we start walking.

"So, how was your trip home?"

Clay shoots me a smile. "Good. My mom and sister say hi."

I feel the corner of my mouth twitch. "I like them."

"The feeling is mutual," he says with humor in his voice.

We fall silent for a moment as we walk. The tension building with each step we take.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I ask when I can't take it anymore.

Clay blows out a breath and pulls me slightly off the path and looks around. I pull my hand out of his, making him frown as I place both of mine in my hoodie pocket. When he wipes a hand over his mouth, I tense, waiting for the blow, only it never comes.

"I want to date you," he blurts out.

I shake my head and blink. "What?"

Clay rolls his shoulders back and stands tall with a fierce look on his face. "I want to date you."

"You do?" I ask in disbelief.

"Of course I do. I like you, Grace, a lot. I don't want to make the same mistakes that Kellan has made. I don't want to sit here with my thumb in my ass and let the best thing that has ever happened to me slip by."

My heart races as I lick my lips. "You're serious."

A line forms between his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I want him, but the only thing that's stopping me is the fear of what will happen when he leaves. Kellan hurt me in a way I didn't know was possible. But losing Clay? That would break me.

He runs a hand through his hair, looking frazzled. "Look, if you don't feel the same way, just tell me…"

I cut him off. "I do."

"Really? You aren't just saying that?"

I step toward him and place my hands on his chest. "Really. I want you too."

He places his hands on my hips. "You're sure?"

I roll my eyes and tease him. "Are you trying to make me change my mind?"

He shakes his head. "No, besides, you can't take it back now," he says, making us both laugh.

"So what does this mean?"

He moves his hands from my hips to my lower back and pulls me into him as he spreads his legs, making himself just a little bit shorter.

"Well, I've never had a girlfriend, so you'll have to be patient with me."

"It's not like I've ever had a boyfriend to judge you against," I quip as I place my hands behind his neck.

"Very funny." He smirks. "But…if we're dating, I think that means we will go on dates by ourselves."

I hum. "Dates sound nice."

"It does, doesn't it?"

"What else?"

His eyes drop to my lips. "I think dating means getting to kiss you anytime I want."

"Do I get to kiss you anytime I want?"

"I'd be mad if you didn't."

I lean up on my tiptoes, and he drops his head, meeting me in the middle. We kiss until we are both breathless.

"Know what else it means?"

"What?" he rasps as he runs his nose along mine.

"It means more nights like the other night."

"Fuck me," he growls as he tightens his hold on me.

I can't help but giggle when I feel his cock twitch against my hip. I don't know why, but the fact that I can make him hard with a simple sentence or a kiss makes me giddy.

"I think that's the point," I joke.

"You want that?" His eyes search mine.

"I do." I take a deep breath. "I trust you."

He groans and rests his head on my shoulder. Instinctively, my hands go to the back of his neck and start playing with his hair.

"Do you know how hard it is right now for me not to drag you back to my place and have my way with you? Especially when I know you need to go to class."

I sigh, kissing his cheek. "I could always skip. I think being alone with you sounds better than sitting through a poetry class."

He pulls back and kisses me until my knees go weak.

When he breaks the kiss, he winks. "I'm not letting you skip."

I laugh and fake pout. "You're no fun."

"Good, I'm glad me making sure you put your education first makes me not fun. Now, what would my girlfriend like to do until she has to go to class?"

"I don't care as long as I'm with you."

He pulls back and checks his watch. "Come on, you have about an hour and a half. Let's walk back and go grab you something to eat before class."

"Sounds good," I tell him as I slip my hand into his, and I rest my head on his shoulder as we start walking.

Fear still swims through my veins, but I push it away. Even if he leaves me behind and breaks my heart in the end, I would rather have loved and lost than spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

My hands shake as I knock on her door.

"Coming!" someone shouts from the other side.

Peyton swings open the door and leans against it. "Well, don't you clean up nice?"

I clear my throat. "Thanks, is Grace here?"

Grace pushes past her roommate and smiles. "Right here."

"You look beautiful."

A pretty little blush covers her cheeks.

"Thank you."

"Are you ready to go?" I ask, holding out my hand.

She slips hers into mine.

"Be good kids, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Peyton yells down the hall as we walk away.

"God, does she have to be so embarrassing?" Grace groans.

"She loves you."

She smiles at me ruefully. "Feeling's mutual. So where are we going?"

"There's a nice little Italian restaurant not far from campus I thought you might like. Is that okay?" I tell her as we step outside. When we make it to the car, I make sure to open her door.

She smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear as she gets in. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I tell her before shutting the door, and I round the hood of the car and get into the driver's seat and take off with my hand resting on her thigh.

"Let me get the door for you," I tell her as I put the car in park.

"You don't have to."

"But I want to. Humor me, please."

She nods, and I get out of the car. I run around the back of the car and open her door.

"Milady."

She giggles and takes my hand. We head into the restaurant and are seated immediately.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I ask as I rub my hands over my thighs under the table.

Grace's eyes soften. "Let's just be us. I don't want to go back to making awkward small talk. I know you, and you know me."

I nod. "So let's just be us."

A beautiful smile crosses her face. "Exactly. So tell me, how was your day?"

I shake my head with a smile. "I texted you all day. You know how it was."

"True, but now I want to see your face when you tell me it was fine. That'll tell me if you are lying."

"My day was fine. Better now that I'm here with you." I reach out to hold her hand over the table.

"Such a charmer. Who would have known? The playboy hockey player on campus has a romantic side."

"I don't hear too many of those rumors anymore. Do you?" I quirk an eyebrow at her.

"I don't listen to rumors anymore. Someone once told me that rumors can be nothing but lies. I'd rather get my news straight from the source."

"Seems like a smart man," I tell her.

She snorts. "Oh, how presumptuous of you to think I was talking about a man."

"Oh, I'm sorry. It could have totally been a woman. You're right," I say sarcastically.

We both know she was referring to me the night we officially met. Man, was that just a couple months ago? Seems like she's been in my life forever.

I can't imagine her not being there. That's a startling feeling.

Before I can spiral into my feelings, the waitress comes by to take our order. As soon as she's gone, I turn the topic to lighter things. Next thing I know, we are laughing and carrying on like we always do.

It feels natural. Right.

Dinner feels like it goes by in the blink of an eye. Sitting there with Grace, I had never felt more relaxed. For once, my mind wasn't on hockey or school. No, it was on the beautiful woman in front of me. The one that I am lucky enough to be out with right now.

After paying the bill, I walk her back out to the car. Before I can open the door, she pulls me against her, pinning herself between me and the car, and kisses me.

"Tell me what you want," I say between kisses.

"I want you to take me back to your place and to stay the night."

I pull back slightly. "Yeah?"

She smiles. "Yeah, I want to see where the night takes us."

My cock twitches at her insinuation.

Fuck, yes. Sign me up.

"Then let's go."

Opening her door, I help her in. By the time I'm sliding into the driver's seat, she is buckled in and looking at me like she wants to devour me. I can't blame her. I feel the same way about her.

Starting the car, I slip my hand onto her thigh. I never once imagined I would be here doing this, but it's Grace. She makes me want things I've always avoided. Things I thought would ruin my life.

She's making me open my eyes. See that life isn't all black and white. The best parts are in the gray.

The air is charged the entire ride home. We both know what we want.

I'm nervous, though. I've never done this before. Sure, I know the basics, but even when the guys would talk about their sex lives, I would tune it out. I didn't care.

Now I wish I had taken more time to prepare. What if I'm terrible at it?

Pulling up to the house, I walk around and open her door for her again. She lets me help her out, and as soon as she is, I pull her into me, kissing her.

"Are you sure about this?" I whisper to her.

Her answering smile takes over her entire face. "There isn't a place I would rather be than with you, Clay."

Taking her hand, I lead her into the house. Beckett and Wyatt are on the couch playing video games when we step inside.

"Hey, lovebirds. Want to play?" Beckett calls out.

"No thanks. We are going to go watch a movie in my room," I tell him.

I don't miss the way Grace's cheeks turn red. Thankfully, they aren't looking our way. Beckett tells us to have fun as we head up the stairs.

Once inside my room, I lock the door behind us before leaning on it.

Grace gives me a shy smile, losing a little of her confidence.

"I've never done this, so I'm not sure what to do," she admits.

I smile at her. "Me either. I think we just take it slow and communicate. You let me know if it feels good or if you want me to stop."

She nods. "Okay. I can do that. You too."

I move toward her, cupping her face to kiss her. She follows my lead, kissing me back.

I slowly start to run my hands down her body until I reach the hem of her dress. Then I pull it up, letting the back of my hands glide across her skin.

Her breath comes faster as she holds her arms up for me to peel the dress off. As soon as I've dropped it to the floor, I step back to look at her. She looks like a fucking goddess standing there in nothing but her matching red panty and bra set.

"You are a sight to behold, Grace. I could spend forever just staring at your beauty," I tell her honestly.

She giggles before stepping into me and pulling at my shirt. "Well, I'd like something to look at too. I know you are packing some abs under this shirt, so show me."

"As you wish," I tell her as I allow her to pull it off over my head.

Quickly, I undo my pants, dropping them to the floor too. Then I'm standing there in nothing but my boxers as she is in her underwear.

For a moment, I almost panic. Before I can, Grace has her hands on my chest, feeling my body.

"I've wanted to do this for a while," she admits softly.

"You've been thinking about me naked?" I joke.

She tries to hide her face, but I cup her chin, pulling her face to mine.

"Don't be embarrassed. I've thought of you too. Even when I felt I shouldn't. Ever since you've come into my life, you've taken over my mind."

"That sounds like I'm an invasive creature. One you want to be rid of."

I press a soft kiss to her lips. "Never. You've changed my life for the better."

I kiss her again, this time a little deeper. As I kiss her, I slowly start to walk her back toward my bed. Once her knees hit the edge, I push her to sit.

"Wait, you have a condom, right?" Grace asks.

I open my drawer, pulling one out. "I didn't have any, but I bought some after last time. Just in case," I admit.

"That's adorable."

I shake my head. "Just what a man wants to hear."

She grabs my shoulders, pulling me to her as she kisses me. After several minutes of intense kissing, she pulls back.

"My sexy hockey player."

"That's better," I tell her, reaching around to undo her bra.

She lets it fall, baring herself to me.

"Mmm," I manage before I suck a nipple into my mouth.

She gasps before her hands find their way into my hair. I push her back until she is lying on the bed as I continue to lick and nip at her.

When she starts to arch up into me, I switch to the other one, giving it the same attention. I allow my hands to travel down to her hips as I pull down her panties. Pulling back from her, I guide them until they are all the way off.

Without waiting for a reaction from her, I lean forward, licking her from taint to clit. She gasps at the sensation, letting me know I did something right.

Still, I want to hear it.

"Was that good? You gotta tell me when you like it. Remember?" I tell her.

"So good, Clay," she moans as I lean in and do it again.

I continue to lick every inch of her skin, listening for her coos of pleasure until I've figured out the place that makes her crazy. Focusing on that area, I begin to slowly finger her, starting with one finger. As her noises become louder and more high-pitched, I add a second and then a third finger until I'm fully finger fucking her as I lick her clit.

When I think she is almost to the edge, I pinch her clit between my lips before flicking my tongue over and over. She clenches around my fingers wildly as she screams out my name.

Fuck if it isn't the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

Pulling away from her, I remove my boxers before putting the condom on. Then I lean over her, kissing her.

"Clay, that was amazing," she says as she looks up at me with dazed eyes.

I could easily become addicted to this woman. Looking down at her, I know that she is everything I never knew I wanted.

"Are you ready, or did you change your mind?" I ask her, hoping like hell she didn't.

"I'm ready," she tells me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my waist.

"Are you one hundred percent sure? It's probably going to hurt," I warn her.

"I know. That's okay. I want this. With you. Only with you," she says before kissing me.

I continue to kiss her as I line myself up at her entrance. Then I slowly start to enter.

She hisses, making me stop.

"Are you okay?" I whisper.

She nods. "It stings a little, but I can handle it. Please keep going."

So I do, but I keep my eyes on her face as I do.

I hate that this is hurting her. Even with as amazing as it feels to have her squeezing my dick to death, her pain has me not being able to enjoy it.

Once I reach her hymen, I thrust into her quickly before holding her to me as she makes a whining noise.

"It's okay. That was the worst of it. It's done now," I whisper against her ear.

I continue to hold her as she remains tense. I run my hand over her hair and whisper into her ear, trying to make it all better.

After a few minutes, her breathing returns to normal.

"I'm okay now, Clay. You can move."

I swallow hard. "I don't think I can take hurting you again."

"Stop being ridiculous. Move, or I will take over."

Not wanting her to do that, I start to slowly thrust. Pulling back, I look at her face, but she isn't showing any signs of pain.

Knowing I am not going to last long, I reach between us and start to play with her clit again. That has her clenching around me once more as she lets out little mewls of pleasure. Soon those mewls turn into full-on moans as she calls out my name. I have never felt more powerful than I do in this moment.

I focus on her, keeping my thrusts at an even pace until I feel her explode around me. It took some time and patience, but I refused to come before she did once more.

As soon as she does, though, my body erupts.

Afterward, I pull out of her, tying off the condom. I toss it in the trashcan by the bed. Then I help her up, picking her up to carry her into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I make sure it's warm before I step in with her, lowering her to her feet.

"What are we doing? I need a nap," she mutters.

"Gotta clean you up."

Then I take my time washing away the blood from between her legs and massaging every part of her body. Once I'm done with her, I wash myself off quickly before wrapping her in a towel.

Once I have us all tucked into bed, she moves back until she's cuddled into me naked. I smile at that.

I never thought I wanted this, but now that I have it, I don't think I will ever be able to let Grace go.