8. Violet

Chapter 8

Violet

Jake and Sawyer head to the men’s locker room when we get to the pool, which is a local YMCA kind of thing. In the ladies’ locker room, I dig my barely used swimsuit out of my bag. I bought it for a vacation I took a couple of years ago to celebrate a work milestone, but the memory makes me frown.

I love the swimsuit, but I hate the memories attached to it. I’m not going to let that ruin a fun afternoon with Sawyer and Jake though, so I glance around quickly to make sure my corner of the locker room is mostly empty, then strip down to change.

The two-piece swimsuit fits me perfectly, and it’s a deep shade of dark blue, my favorite color—but when I turn around and see the reflection of the vertical scar that runs down my chest in a nearby mirror, I grimace.

I’m self-conscious about the scar and typically wear clothes that cover it up, but I was feeling much more confident about myself back when I bought the suit. It’s not like I have anything else to wear though, so I’m just going to have to suck it up and be prepared for Jake—or worse, Sawyer—to ask questions about it.

It doesn’t matter , I tell myself firmly. Jake’s just a kid, and Sawyer is one of the kindest people you know. They won’t judge you .

Everything will be fine, and life has worked out amazingly well for me so far since coming back to Denver. On top of everything else they’ve done, Jake and Sawyer have both been incredibly sweet to me, so I have no reason to think this will be any different.

Drawing a deep breath, I bolster my courage and self-confidence, then stride toward the door at the back of the locker room that leads to the pool.

Jake and Sawyer are already in the water when I arrive at the pool area, and I’m amazed at how good of a swimmer Jake is for his age. He’s not wearing floaties or a life vest, but he’s bobbing across the surface effortlessly like a water bug. Sawyer has his back to me, but when Jake spots me and waves, Sawyer follows his gaze.

He freezes, and the smile he was wearing drops away as his eyes lock on me. I swear I see a flash of something on his face, but it passes quickly as he composes himself. Still, goosebumps race across my skin and my body temperature skyrockets. Feeling a blush and a nervous laugh come on, I decide to just jump in. I pull my legs into my chest at the last second before I crash through the surface, sending water cascading toward Sawyer and Jake.

The water is shockingly cold at first, but I adjust by the time my head breaks through the surface again. I shake my hair, sending more water flying, and hear Jake’s laughter bouncing off the high ceiling as I blink the droplets out of my eyes.

“Did you see that, Daddy? Ms. Violet did a cannonball!”

“I sure did, buddy,” Sawyer says, grinning at me. “Nice form. I’d give it a nine point five out of ten.”

“Thanks.” I laugh, slicking my hair back with both hands. “Maybe you’ll see me at the Olympics next year. Here’s hoping they add a cannonball category.”

Amusement glints in his storm-gray eyes. “Fingers crossed. If they do, we’ll be there to cheer you on.”

Our banter feels oddly close to flirtation, and for at least the dozenth time since I moved in with Sawyer and Jake, I wonder if this is all in my head. Am I just imagining things? Letting my own attraction to this man skew my perception?

I don’t know, and I’m honestly not sure whether I hope he is flirting with me or not. In a way, it’s safer to think that whatever vibes I think I’m picking up are purely imaginary. That way the lines between us can stay clear and defined, and there’s no chance of things getting messy or complicated.

Shifting the topic, I turn to Jake, giving him an impressed look. “And you , mister! You could be an Olympic swimmer someday. Look at you go!”

He beams at the praise. “I’m really good! Come on, Ms. Violet, let’s play a game! Marco Polo!”

I shrug and look at Sawyer for approval. He nods, so I do too. “Alright, who’s going to be what?”

“You were the last one in, so you’re it!” Jake calls and immediately starts swimming away.

Sawyer’s chuckle rumbles in his chest. “The kid has solid logic.”

I laugh and close my eyes, then start counting backward from ten to give Sawyer and Jake time to put some distance between us.

“Three, two, one. Ready or not, here I come. Marco!” I call.

“Polo!” Sawyer and Jake call back in unison. It’s hard to tell, but it sounds like they’re at opposite ends of the pool.

“Marco!” I call again, listening closely for clues in their response.

“Polo!” Jake answers, suddenly sounding very close to me.

“Marco!”

“Polo,” he says, more quietly this time.

I spin around in the water, reaching for him. I hear splashing and laughter nearby as I flail around blindly, but my hands never find him. He must have swum away, teasing me.

“Okay, let’s try this again,” I mutter. “Marco!”

“Polo!” they call back together, but this time Sawyer sounds closer, so I decide to try to move toward him.

“Marco!”

“Polo,” Sawyer says, sounding like he’s just to the left of me.

So before I call out again, I reach for him quickly instead. My fingers find his chest, which is as solid as a slab of stone, and I jolt in surprise and embarrassment, yanking my hand away as he laughs. My eyes flutter open, and I find him floating in the water in front of me, his face slightly red.

“Guess you got me,” he says.

“That means you’re it, Daddy!” Jake tells him.

But before Sawyer can take his place as the pursuer, the door to the pool opens and three kids who look like they’re about Jake’s age walk in with a woman who must be their mom. Jake’s focus immediately zeroes in on them.

They’re already dressed in their swimsuits and floaties, and each of them is carrying a pool noodle. Their mom makes sure they aren’t getting in the water with anything that shouldn’t be in there, then they race down the pool’s stairs into the water.

“Daddy, can I go play with them?” Jake asks hopefully, and Sawyer nods.

“Sure, if they want to. But if they say no, come back to us, okay?”

“Okay,” Jake says and swims off in a hurry, leaving Sawyer and me alone. We float idly for several moments, neither of us looking at the other, until Sawyer finally breaks the silence.

“Thanks for playing with Jake like that.”

“Yeah, of course. He’s a great kid, who wouldn’t want to? Besides, I’m pretty sure ‘playing in the pool’ was somewhere in my job description,” I reply, and Sawyer laughs.

“What a job, huh?”

“Honestly, I love it so far. A lot more than I thought I would. Please don’t take that the wrong way,” I quickly add.

“Not at all, I get it. Taking care of a kid, especially a little boy with as much energy as he has, can be a lot.”

“Were you that energetic when you were his age?” I ask as I start idly twisting my hair into a messy bun. It’s getting annoying now that it’s wet, sticking to my shoulders and neck.

Sawyer smirks as he watches me. “Why do you think my mom got me into hockey?”

That makes me laugh. “Ah, I see. Makes sense. Have you or your ex ever thought about getting Jake into something like that?”

The easy grin slips from his face, and he shakes his head. “Miriam never thought about much when it came to Jake.”

I’d kind of gotten that sense already from what he’s told me about her, and it’s probably not my place to pry, but he seems like he wants to talk about it more, so I decide to try.

“Sounds like she wasn’t really interested in being a mom.”

“Not at all. She isn’t a bad person at heart, but she isn’t the most… maternal. She didn’t really show a lot of interest in Jake at all after he was born.”

I frown, my heart sinking for Jake. “That’s awful. Did Jake ever notice or say anything about it?”

Sawyer leans back a little in the water, wetting his dark hair. “He’s never said anything, but I can tell he sensed it sometimes. The poor kid. It was like no matter how hard she pulled away, he would just try harder to get her to notice him. It never worked, and it was heartbreaking to watch.”

He stares off at Jake, who’s playing with the other kids as if they’ve known each other their whole lives even though they just met. Although Sawyer smiles, he seems bittersweet. Hearing about the way Jake’s mom treated him makes my heart twinge. He’s such a sweet kid, so I don’t understand how anyone could do that to him, but I also don’t know what Sawyer’s ex had going on so it’s not my place to judge.

“Jake deserves so much love,” I say, and Sawyer shoots me a grateful look, nodding.

“I sure think so.”

We settle into a peaceful silence, broken only by the sounds of splashing and shouting from the kids as they play nearby. Sawyer’s gaze trails over my face and then drifts downward for a moment, and my stomach flutters—until I remember that the suit I’m wearing shows off the mark on my chest in stark relief. I stiffen a little, and I can tell the exact moment when he notices it, because his brows draw together.

He hesitates, but I can practically hear the question burning on the tip of his tongue.

“It’s… a scar,” I say awkwardly. “I’ve had it for a long time.”

“Oh.” His gaze flashes up to meet mine. “I didn’t notice it before when, uh, you know…”

He trails off, and I huff a laugh, even though goosebumps break out over my skin at the memory of him walking in on me stark naked and doing my best Kelly Clarkson impersonation.

I don’t normally talk about my scar or what caused it, and I know I could probably brush it off and Sawyer wouldn’t push for more details. He doesn’t strike me as the type of person to pry. But for some reason, I find myself opening my mouth and speaking again. Maybe it’s because he’s been so open with me about his struggles with his ex, but I feel like I can trust him.

“I had heart surgery when I was younger,” I admit quietly.

Sawyer’s brows shoot up his forehead. “What, really? Wow, that’s intense.”

“Yeah. I had a somewhat serious heart defect that required major surgery when I was in my early teens. It pretty much upended my teenage experience.”

“Damn,” he murmurs in a low voice. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks.” I finally give up on trying to put my hair into a bun. I’ve never been very good at it, and it’s even harder when it’s wet. “Everything is fine now, although it was terrifying at the time.”

“I can imagine.” He crosses his arms over his broad chest. “Your family must have been a wreck.”

I laugh because he doesn’t really know how true his words are. “They were, but not just because of that. My heart thing happened right after my parents split up, and they were both pretty caught up with their new lives, so Reese was the one who was really there for me through it all. Emotionally, anyway. My folks took me to the doctor and stuff, but they were too distracted to really listen to my fears or support me through it.”

Sawyer’s expression hardens, a hint of anger flashing through his gray eyes. I’m touched by the thought that it’s anger on my behalf. “I’m sorry, Violet. That’s really shitty of your parents.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, surprised to feel the burn of tears at the backs of my eyes. I haven’t gotten emotional about the ordeal I went through as a teenager in years, but something about the empathy in Sawyer’s expression is hitting me right in the chest. I shrug, blinking quickly. “Anyway, I guess maybe that’s why I’ve never been interested in trying to find love. I already had my heart broken once.”

“Literally,” Sawyer notes, his gaze flicking down to the scar on my chest quickly before moving back up to my eyes.

“Yeah. So I don’t think I could stand to do it again.”

Silence falls between us. My face feels uncomfortably hot with his gaze locked on me like this, and my stomach flutters as he keeps staring at me as if searching for something.

“I wouldn’t want to see your heart broken, either,” he finally says, his voice soft. “It’s a good one.”

I know he’s probably just trying to be nice, but the butterflies in my stomach flap even harder as his words wash over me. The heat creeping beneath my skin spreads until I’m sure I’m blushing all over, and even the slightly chilly water isn’t enough to cool me off.