23. Violet

Chapter 23

Violet

I stare down at Sawyer’s profile on my phone, my heart beating so hard that I can hear the blood rushing in my ears. My thumb hovers over an adorable picture of him and Jake taken at the school field trip skating event at the arena the other day. Jake is sitting on Sawyer’s shoulders, and they’re both holding hockey sticks. Beneath that picture, the pop-up message practically screams out at me.

Sawyer T. just liked you! Match now to get the conversation going.

My mouth goes dry, and I swallow, drawing in a steadying breath as I drag my finger across the screen to the right. The pop-up notification disappears, replaced by a space for us to message each other.

I hesitate, my thumbs hovering over the screen. Then I shake my head and type the only thing I can think of to say.

ME: Um, hi.

Little bubbles pop up immediately, indicating that he’s typing.

SAWYER: Hi.

I can’t fight back my grin at his simple response, and my thumbs fly over the screen as I tap out another message.

ME: What are you doing on the dating app at this hour?

SAWYER: Well… this woman I know signed me up for an account so I could get back on the horse. She said I needed to “get my player back on the ice.”

I snort and bite my lip.

ME: Sounds like she really has a way with words. And how has that been going for you?

SAWYER: I’m not sure.

ME: What do you mean?

SAWYER: Well, I went out tonight with the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met. The problem is… she wasn’t my date.

My heart stutters in my chest, my stomach dipping and swooping like I’m on a rollercoaster as I read his message. I sit down on the edge of my bed, trapping my lower lip between my teeth as I take the leap and text him back the truth that I’ve been trying to deny all night.

ME: I know how you feel. There’s this hockey player that I can’t seem to get out of my head, no matter how hard I try.

SAWYER: Fuck, are we crazy?

I laugh softly, cradling the phone in my hands as I stare down at the text on the screen. I shake my head, typing quickly.

ME: Maybe. I know I’ve been driving myself crazy wondering if you felt any of this, or if it was all in my imagination.

SAWYER: It’s not your imagination, heartbreaker. So fucking far from it. I can’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to kiss you so badly tonight, you have no idea.

Blood rushes to my face, and a wave of heat follows. I clench my thighs together as a torrent of images flash through my mind, picturing what might’ve happened if Sawyer had kissed me in that dimly lit bathroom.

ME: Then why didn’t you?

Sawyer doesn’t respond right away, and I stare down at my phone as the three dots appear, then vanish, then reappear. His message comes through a moment later, and I suck in a breath as I read it.

SAWYER: I’m not supposed to touch you.

ME: Do you always do what you’re supposed to do?

SAWYER: Always.

“Fuck,” I whisper, a mixture of arousal and disappointment swirling inside me.

Sawyer is such a good man, and an amazing father. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s the kind of guy who sets rules for himself and doesn’t break them, but now that I know he wants me too, I can’t seem to tame the heat coursing through my veins.

My eyes drift to the dresser, where I stuffed the vibrator I brought with me in the very back of the drawer. With my hands trembling because I can’t quite believe what I’m about to do, I get up and pull out the toy, then set it on the bed next to me. I tap the camera icon in the message thread with Sawyer and line the vibrator up in the frame to snap a picture of it and attach it to a message.

ME: Maybe you can’t touch me… but could you still help me out?

My thumb hovers over the send button as I stare down at the screen. There’s no going back if I send this, and I know that. I probably shouldn’t do it for several good reasons, not least of which is how awkward this could make things if he turns me down. But the rational, cautious side of my brain gets drowned out by the wild side for once.

My thumb hits the send button, and I hold my breath while I wait for a reply.

SAWYER: Fucking hell, heartbreaker…

SAWYER: Are you gonna use that tonight?

ME: I wasn’t planning on it until now, but yes.

I add a follow-up message on impulse.

ME: And I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.

I hear a soft, muffled thud from the next room, and it strikes me that maybe he dropped his phone. Our bedrooms share a wall, and the realization that I can hear him brings my skin to life with goosebumps—because that means he can hear me too.

SAWYER: Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

ME: I’m trying to give you something, but it isn’t that.

SAWYER: Jesus fucking Christ, heartbreaker. Where are you? Are you in bed?

I lie down on the mattress and tap to take a selfie from the neck up, then send it without a caption.

SAWYER: Are you undressed? Take off your panties.

I reach beneath my sleep shirt to tug off my panties and throw them on the floor at the foot of the bed, then get rid of the shirt too, pulling it over my head.

ME: I am now.

SAWYER: Good girl. I bet that feels better.

Another shiver races down my spine, my nipples pebbling as I read his text. Somehow, I’m not surprised at all that Sawyer has a bossy streak in bed, and it only makes him hotter.

SAWYER: Are you wearing anything now?

ME: Nope.

SAWYER: Perfect. Now spread your legs and touch yourself. Tell me how it feels.

A little gasp spills out of me at the hunger that practically radiates from his message, and my clit throbs, desperate for some kind of attention. Holding the phone in one hand, I do exactly what he said. With my feet on the mattress and my knees spread, I slip a hand between my legs and drag my fingers across my clit, biting my lower lip.

ME: My fingers feel good, but your mouth would feel better.

SAWYER: Oh, you have no idea how good I’m going to make this for you.

ME: Mmm

It’s hard to type one-handed like this, so that’s the best I can manage. But Sawyer doesn’t seem to mind, because several more messages come in a flurry.

SAWYER: I want your hands all over your body.

SAWYER: Just like mine would be if I was in there with you.

SAWYER: Dragging up the insides of your thighs.

SAWYER: Working your perfect nipples.

As if he’s pulling an invisible string to control me, I drop my phone on the covers so my hands can streak up my body from my pussy to my breasts. I cup and squeeze them, imagining it’s Sawyer doing it instead.

The image of his pierced cock, shining with nearly a dozen studs that I saw when I walked in on him jerking off, blazes through my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about how it would feel to have his firm, solid body braced over mine, his muscular arms holding him up. How it would feel to have his breath warming my skin as he licked and sucked on my nipples.

How it would feel to take his cock with all of its piercings.

My fingers slip across my already wet pussy at the thought, and a soft whimper spills from me. My phone buzzes immediately, and I grope around me to find it and pick it up.

SAWYER: You dirty girl. I heard that.

My heart hammers in my chest, a spike of arousal shooting through my veins. He’s so fucking good at this. I can practically hear his voice saying everything he’s typed, and every message he sends only turns me on more.

I reach for the vibrator while I try to type out a message with my free hand.

ME: Can you hear this?

With the vibrator resting against my clit, I flip the switch to turn it on, and its low hum fills the room, the friction lighting up my nerves. My vision blurs a little, and another gasp slips out of me at the intensity of the sensation, but I manage to keep it quiet this time.

SAWYER: Did you just turn on the vibrator?

ME: Yes.

SAWYER: Fuck. I can hear it. That’s so goddamn hot.

ME: Oh my god it feels so good.

My toes are curling, and it’s hard to focus on anything other than the electricity coursing through me thanks to the vibrator as I hold it in place. But my phone buzzes in my hand, dragging my attention back to it.

SAWYER: That’s it. Work yourself over. Make yourself feel good. Even if I can’t see it, I want to hear you come.

The raw desire in his words sparks something inside me. I balance my phone against one of my legs and turn up the intensity of the vibrator, making its humming even louder. I have to bite down on my lip so hard it stings to keep from crying out as the toy sends me spiraling higher and higher.

SAWYER: It just got louder. Tell me what you’re doing.

I peck out a reply with one finger while I drag the vibrator in circles around and across my clit, making my entire body shudder as my back arches against the mattress.

ME: Imagining your tongue all over and inside my pussy

SAWYER: Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you with my tongue?

ME: Yes. Fuck.

SAWYER: I’d fucking love to, heartbreaker. I’d give you all of that and so much more.

ME: More. Please…

I hear a soft noise through the wall, and although I don’t know quite what it is, I imagine that he’s lying down now too. Is he going to get off with me? The thought of him lying there with his big, pierced cock in his hand, stroking himself with nothing but this wall separating us, sends a fresh wave of desire thrumming through me.

ME: Are you doing what I think you are?

SAWYER: What do you think I’m doing?

It’s too much effort to type a full sentence, so I just send back the eggplant emoji, and I hear him laugh quietly through the wall.

SAWYER: No. As much as I want to, I’m not touching myself right now. This is all about you, baby.

Another rush of heat floods my veins at his text, and I’m more grateful than ever that I decided not to go home with Ethan tonight—not that I was ever tempted. But if Sawyer keeps this up, I’m not going to be able to hold it together for much longer. Every nerve in my body is already screaming with pleasure, aching to release the tension that’s welling inside.

SAWYER: What are you doing now?

ME: Listen.

I drag the vibrator in a long, torturous circle around and across my pussy lips, letting out a whimper that’s just loud enough for Sawyer to hear it through the wall. I’m sure he can imagine what I’m doing to make that kind of noise.

SAWYER: God yes. Whatever that was, keep doing it. Fuck yourself with your vibrator. Do everything I would do if I was there to take care of you.

My head falls away from my phone and my eyes flutter shut as I bring the vibrator up to my clit again and pinch one nipple between my fingers with my free hand. Immediately, I see Sawyer in my mind, his wide, muscular frame towering over me as his mouth clamps down on my nipple and his fingers dance across my clit.

It makes my entire body tense as I race right up to the edge, the vibrator humming against my swollen clit. I yank it away at the last second and shove back the orgasm burning to get out of me. My toes curl so hard they cramp, and I lie panting and shaking on the mattress. My phone vibrates again.

SAWYER: You got quiet. Are you getting close?

It takes way more effort than it should to peck out a reply with a shaking hand.

ME: Yes.

SAWYER: Fuck. Good girl. Let it out. Let it all out for me.

I’m so turned on by all of this that I don’t think I could resist for much longer anyway, so I tease my clit with the silicone toy again before sliding it lower and pressing it inside myself. My other hand keeps working my breasts, playing with my nipples as I writhe on the bed, tossing my head from side to side. It doesn’t take long before the tide rises too high for me to pull it back, and I clap my hand over my mouth as my orgasm finally crests.

Wave after wave of pleasure courses through me, and I bite down on my palm to keep from getting too loud. I feel and hear my phone buzzing somewhere beside me, but it barely registers through the white-hot sensations that are flooding my body.

It’s one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had in my life, and it seems to go on forever. By the time my body finally starts to relax, slumping back against the mattress, I realize I must have stopped breathing at some point. My lungs burn, and I drag in a long, shuddering breath.

My hands pat the covers until I find my phone, and my fingers shake a little as I tap out another message to Sawyer.

ME: Holy shit. I don’t think I’ve EVER come that hard before. That was amazing.

I hesitate, then type out one more text before I can second-guess myself.

ME: But… I still want more.

Several seconds pass without a reply, and my heart does a flip in my chest. Shit. Did I push things too far? Or is he having some weird guilt about doing all of this with me now? Worry bubbles in my stomach, and I sit up on the bed, staring down at the screen.

A full minute passes, and there’s no response from Sawyer. I press my lips together, wrestling with whether I should send him another message or just let it go.

I don’t want to ?—

A light knock on my door startles me out of my thoughts, and my head whips toward it. My pulse picks up, and I quickly grab my sleep shirt and tug it on, just in case it’s Jake. Then I slowly pad toward the door, wrapping my fingers around the handle and opening it.

It’s not Jake.

Sawyer is standing on the other side of my door in nothing but a pair of gray sweats, his hands braced on either side of the frame. His hair is mussed as if he’s been running his fingers through it, and his gray eyes are as dark as storm clouds.

“Sawyer?” I whisper. “What are you?—”

“I lied,” he says roughly. “I don’t always do what I’m supposed to.”