35. Lana

35

LANA

I sit next to Henry, my heart pounding in my chest. His eyes, filled with hope and longing, bore into mine. I want to believe him, to trust that everything he's told me is true. But the memory of that night, the pain and betrayal I felt, still lingers.

"I don't know," I answer.

His eyes fill with pain, but he nods. "I understand your hesitation. What you went through… I can't even imagine. But I swear to you, everything I've said is the truth. I love you."

Those three words make my breath catch. I want to run into his arms, to feel safe and protected. But fear holds me back.

"How can I trust you?" I ask, hating how vulnerable I sound. "After everything that happened…"

"I don't know. I want to do whatever is needed to make that happen. You tell me what you need from me."

I wrap my arms around myself, trying to steady my nerves. Or maybe it's to quiet the part of me longing to be held by him.

"I need time," I finally say, meeting his gaze. "I can't just jump back in like nothing happened. It's not that simple."

"I get it. Take all the time you need. I'll be here, waiting, for as long as it takes. Forever."

God, he's doing it again. The words that speak to fairy tales and happily ever after. It's so hard to guard against that.

"Did you really quit your job?" I ask, needing to change the subject before I jump him.

Henry nods solemnly. "I did. I couldn't continue working for a system that would turn its back on someone in need. Now I'm doing PI work. I've got one case. The Lazaro D'Amato disappearance. Pro bono, of course."

My heart clenches at the mention of my brother's name. For years, I've clung to the hope that Lazaro was still alive somewhere, waiting to be found. But now, faced with the reality of what Peter did, I feel that hope slipping away.

"Peter already said he killed Lazaro." I feel a wave of sadness wash over me, finally giving in to the idea that my twin brother is probably dead.

"He didn't actually say he killed him."

I look at Henry in confusion.

"In fact, I may have found something. Or it could be nothing, but I want to follow up. Whether he's dead or not, we should know, right?"

"You found something?" Hope blooms again.

"I've been making calls all over the area, following up on any possible leads. Tonight, I called a hospital in Lafayette, Indiana. It's not far from where one of the dark vans was found abandoned after Lazaro's disappearance."

I lean forward, hanging on his every word. "And?"

"They had a man matching Lazaro's description arrive within twenty-four hours of when he went missing. He was there for nearly a month due to severe injuries."

A month in the hospital is a long time. He must have been really hurt. But that would have had him released nearly three years ago. So, where is he? "But if it was Lazaro, why didn't he contact us?"

Henry's expression turns serious. "The hospital couldn't give me more details but the fact that he's listed as John Doe, so it's possible he might have suffered memory loss. If he was in an accident or sustained head trauma, he might not remember who he is."

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. The idea that Lazaro could be alive, but unable to remember us, is both thrilling and heartbreaking.

"The other option is he's chosen to stay away. Leave his old life."

I shake my head. "He'd never abandon me or Elio."

"I'll go to Indiana and see what I can find out."

I soak in the idea that Lazaro could be closer to coming home than ever. "He is alive."

Henry's eyes fill with cautious hope. "It's possible. I can't promise anything. And if this isn't it, I'll keep looking. I'll look until I find out what happened."

His determination, his unwavering support, touches something deep inside me. I look up at him, seeing him in a new light. Or maybe it's the old light. The one where I saw a kind, honest, determined man who looked at me like I was the center of his world.

"Maybe you should come with me," he suggests.

"I thought you had to keep your leads close to your chest."

He gives me a smile. "That was when I was a cop. Now I'm a PI and you're my client. I have to tell you everything."

Overcome with emotion, I close the distance between us. My hands reach up to cup his face, and before I can second-guess myself, I press my lips to his. The kiss is soft at first, tentative, but quickly deepens as pent-up emotion pours out.

When we finally break apart, both breathless, I rest my forehead against his.

"Yes," I whisper. "Let's find my brother together." I feel a rush of affection for this man. The fear lingers, but I have to give him, us, another chance. "I'm going to trust you, Henry."

His eyes fill with tears. "Lana… thank you."

"But if you ever betray me again, I will kill you myself. No hesitation." I wouldn't really, but he needs to know how serious this is.

"If I ever betray you again, Lana, I would deserve nothing less."

We sit, staring into each other's eyes. The air between us is charged. I want to lean into it and yet, I still worry that we're too different.

"So, are we doing this? The cop and the Mob princess?" I ask.

"Ex-cop."

I laugh nervously. "It still feels dangerous. Like our lives will come between us."

"I won't let it. I can't live without you." His words wash over me, melting away my doubts.

This time, my laugh is giddy, bubbling over. "Oh, God. Elio's head is going to explode when he finds out I've fallen in love with a cop."

Henry's eyebrows raise, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Ex-cop."

I give him a flirty smile. "Can I handcuff you this time?"

"This time, next time, for all time. I'm tethered to you."

I move over him, straddling his thighs. His hands rub down my back, and I wince as it's still sore.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." He tugs my shirt off and looks around me. "Oh, God, Lana."

"It'll heal." I might have a few scars, but even they will fade in time. I hold his face in my hands. "I'm not broken."

He shakes his head. "You're the strongest person I know." He kisses me, tender at first. I feel the love emanating from him and I drink it in.

In a rush, I need to feel him inside me. Like it will be a balm that finally heals me.

My hands move quickly, undressing myself and him.

"What's the hurry?" He laughs.

"I need you. I need you, Henry." I sink over him.

His hands hold me, his eyes look up at me, and I know he's feeling what I'm feeling. The broken bits of our hearts, our souls, are mending.

I stare at him and realize I haven't given him the words he keeps giving me. "I love you."

His eyes well with tears again. "Lana." My name comes out on a breath.

I kiss him and move, rocking forward and back. Rising up and down. We move together, like we're made for each other. There's no way we could share this love, have this connection, and not have it be right. Despite our situation, this can't be wrong.

"God… Lana… Yes…" He leans in, taking my nipple in his mouth. I feel the tug of his lips straight to my pussy.

"Henry." He lifts his head, and our eyes lock and hold. Together, we chase pleasure, rising up and up, peaking, and then soaring into the heavens.

As we come down, he kisses me. "This might be a little soon, but you should know that someday—soon, I hope—I'll ask you to marry me."

My heart thumps hard. "Do you want kids?"

"Now? Sure."

I laugh and playfully pat his shoulder. "Maybe not now, but someday soon."