33. Lana

33

LANA

I drift in and out of consciousness, the world around me a hazy blur of pain and confusion. The darkness is a comfort, a refuge from the agony. I cling to it, willing myself to stay under, to avoid facing the pain.

Vaguely, I become aware of gentle hands tending to my wounds. Dr. Evans, I assume, though I can't bring myself to open my eyes and confirm. The sharp sting of antiseptic on my back makes me wince, but I remain still, afraid that any movement might shatter this fragile state of semi-awareness.

Elio's presence is a constant, a protective shadow hovering nearby. I can sense his worry, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. He murmurs something to the doctor, his voice a low rumble that I can't quite make out.

Time becomes meaningless. I float in and out, sometimes catching snippets of conversation, other times lost in the blissful nothingness of sleep. It's easier this way. Easier than facing the memories, the betrayal, the crushing pain of everything that's happened.

Piper's voice cuts through the fog, soft but insistent. "I really think we should let Henry visit. He's?—"

"No." The word escapes my lips, weak and raspy. "No Henry." Of all the pain I feel, his betrayal is the worst.

Ten days after the ordeal, I'm upright and awake. The physical pain has subsided to a dull ache. As my body heals, something else stirs within me. A fierce, burning anger. I've spent too many days wallowing in misery, allowing the betrayal and heartbreak to consume me. No more. I won't let this break me. I won't let them win.

If only I could convince my family that I'm stronger. Each time I try to resume my normal life, they treat me like I'm made of glass, physically and mentally. I appreciate their concern, but their constant hovering is suffocating me.

"Lana, you don't need to run full speed into your life again," Elio chides as he catches me on my computer.

I roll my eyes. "I'm not an invalid, Elio."

"The doctor said you need rest."

"What I need is to do something useful," I snap. "I can't sit around anymore." Sitting around leaves too much room in my brain for memories.

Elio's expression softens. "I understand. But you need to take it easy."

I nod, not wanting to argue further. As he leaves, frustration bubbles up inside me. I'm healing, yes, but this forced inactivity is driving me mad. I need to occupy my mind, to feel productive again.

An idea strikes me. I grab my phone and dial our office manager.

"Carla? It's Lana D'Amato. I need you to set up a secure connection to our systems. I'm going to be working from home for a while."

There's a pause on the other end. "Are you sure, Miss D'Amato? Your brother said?—"

"I don't care what my brother said. I'm perfectly capable of handling some paperwork." Grr. I should have known Elio would make a preemptive move.

I hang up before she can protest further. It's a small victory, but it feels good to take control of something, anything.

Within hours, my laptop is set up with access to our business files. I dive in, losing myself in spreadsheets and reports. Granted, sometimes, it's mind-numbing work, but it's exactly what I need, a distraction from the memories that threaten to overwhelm me, a way to prove to myself that I'm strong, still capable.

As I work, I can feel my strength returning, not just physically, but mentally. Each completed task is a step toward reclaiming my life, my power. They tried to break me, but they failed. I feel like I'm channeling Lazaro. Thinking of him brings a wave of sadness. After Hartley's comments, I have to accept that Lazaro is dead, so it's more important than ever that I keep his spirit alive by being brazen, fierce.

For a change of pace, I move my work to the sitting room which has the best light in the afternoon. I'm buried in financial reports when a commotion outside the sitting room pulls me from my work.

Voices rise, angry and urgent, and I tense, my body still on high alert after everything that's happened.

The door bursts open, and my heart nearly stops. Henry rushes in, disheveled and desperate, his eyes wild as they lock onto mine.

Before I can react, Elio storms in behind him, gun raised and aimed squarely at the back of Henry's head. "Get the fuck out of my house. I have no problem dropping you right here."

Henry raises his arms in surrender, but his gaze never leaves my face. "Lana, please. I just need to see that you're okay?—"

"As you can see, she's fine. Now get the fuck out." Elio taps the butt of his gun against Henry's head.

I have to hand it to Henry, he's pretty brave to still be standing there with Elio's gun to his head.

"I need to talk to you, Lana. Please."

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Elio moves to Henry's side. I think he's a little surprised too that Henry isn't running as fast as possible out the door.

Piper steps into the room, her gaze darting between us all. "What's going on here?"

"Henry is just leaving," Elio says.

"Please," Henry pleads again.

"Why would I want to talk to you? You were a part of it." I want to roll up in a ball and hide at the memory of Henry's hands lewdly on me while his friends laughed and egged him on. "Unless you're trying to cover up what you did. Are you going to pretend to take my statement? Pretend to put your buddies in prison?"

"No. I wasn't with them. I'm not working."

"You've got some serious balls," Matteo says from the foyer, looking in and watching.

"I know my behavior was heinous, but I was buying time until Elio came. I'm the one who told him to come."

What? I glance up at Elio, wondering what he's talking about. Why would Henry call Elio for help if Henry was part of the plan to kill me?

I turn to Elio, confusion warring with anger. "What are you talking about? He called you?"

Elio's jaw tightens. "Yes, but his help doesn't matter since it's his fault you were nearly killed. Jesus, Lana… they whipped you."

I wince as the memory of the belt hitting my flesh flashes in my mind. I shake my head, unwilling to believe Henry reached out to Elio for help. Henry is a cop. He wouldn't ever ask Elio for help. It would be beneath him.

"If that's true, why didn't you just shoot Peter when you arrived? Why play along with their sick game?"

"God, I wanted to. But I didn't think I could kill all three before one of them could kill you."

I suppose he has a point.

Henry's eyes never leave mine. "Please, just give me five minutes. That's all I'm asking. Then I'll be gone forever."

I'm about to say no, but Piper is looking at me, nodding. She wants me to hear him out. Maybe having been knocked out means I've missed something. Plus, I wouldn't mind the opportunity to give Henry a piece of my mind.

"Fine. You have five minutes. Any longer than that, and you're at the hands of my brother."

Elio sneers but puts his gun down.

"Let's give them a minute," Piper says, ushering Elio out of the room.

"Why are you on his side?" Elio gripes.

"It will be fine," she says, giving me a nod again as they leave, although I doubt Elio has gone far.

Henry strides toward me, and I tense, my body instinctively recoiling at his presence. The memory of his hands on me, his cruel words in that basement, floods back with nauseating clarity. I struggle to keep my composure, to maintain the icy fa?ade that has protected me for so long.

Henry's eyes meet mine, filled with a sorrow that I refuse to acknowledge.

"Lana. I'm so sorry. I should have done more, acted faster. The thought of what you went through… it haunts me."

His words spark a fire within me. "Sorry? You tormented me just like the others, Henry. You touched me, threatened me. How dare you stand there and claim remorse."

Henry flinches as if I've struck him, but he doesn't back down. "I know how it seemed?—"

"It's how it was."

He nods. "What you saw… it wasn't real. It was a desperate attempt to gain their trust so I could save you."

I scoff, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. "I don't believe you."

"I had to make them believe I was on their side. If I had shown any hesitation, any sign that I was there to help you, they would have killed us both on the spot. I needed time until Elio and his men arrived."

His words give me pause, a flicker of doubt creeping into my mind. Could it be true? Could everything I thought I knew about that night be wrong? Or is my stupid heart hoping it's so, wishing that Henry was the man I fell for, not the monster I saw in that dirty, cold basement?

"If what you're saying is true, why didn't you bring the police?"

Henry's expression darkens, and he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "Because the police are corrupt, Lana. I called for backup, and they refused to come. They said…" He pauses, swallowing hard. "They said to let Peter have you, that it would be doing them a favor to clean up the streets."

I know how the police see my family, but hearing it like that makes me feel small. Like I'm nothing.

Henry takes a tentative step closer, his eyes filled with a desperation that makes my heart ache despite myself. "I know you probably can't forgive me for what happened that night, but I need you to know…" He takes a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper. "I need you to know that I love you. With every fiber of my being."

I blink, not believing the words he's just said.

"I wish I'd told you sooner. God… there's so much I wish I'd done differently."

His confession hangs in the air between us. Part of me wants to believe him, to throw caution to the wind and fall into his arms. But the wounds are still too fresh, the pain too raw.

I force myself to maintain my composure, my voice cool and detached. "It doesn't matter, Henry. Even if what you're saying is true, it doesn't change anything. We could have never worked. Our worlds are too different."

Henry's face falls, the hope in his eyes dimming. He nods slowly, accepting my words even as they seem to crush him.

"I understand." He turns to leave but stops before exiting the sitting room. He takes one last look at me. "I know we weren't supposed to be together, but I'd have done anything to make it work." He gives me a small smile and then leaves.

As soon as he's gone, my carefully constructed walls crumble. I leave my work and make my way out of the sitting room.

"Lana?" Elio tries to intercept me, but I bypass him and flee up to my room, barely making it inside before the tears start to fall. I sink onto my bed, burying my face in my hands as sobs rack my body.

A part of me hates myself for crying over Henry. Another part of me grieves at the loss of him. Of what I thought we could have if only we overcame the obstacles between us.

I don't know how long I've been crying when I hear a soft knock at the door. Before I can compose myself, Piper slips in.

"Oh, Lana." She sits beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I try to pull away, to hide my weakness, but Piper holds fast. "It's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time."

For a moment, she just holds me, then she asks, "What did he say?"

I shake my head. "Some bull about his playing along to give Elio time to arrive."

"And you don't believe him?"

I look at her. "You weren't there, Piper. He said things… did things…"

She wipes my tears. "He did tell Elio you were in danger. And Elio did tell him to stall because it would take some time to get his men and himself there."

I look up at her. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you told me you cared for Henry. I don't want a misunderstanding to derail what you might have."

I look away, fighting the desire to believe her. I've been burned too many times.

"Elio doesn't want me to tell you this, but Henry has been trying to see you since that night. The man is quite persistent. And brave, if today is any indication."

"So?"

"So Elio has been trying to keep him from you. Not to protect you from him. He knows Henry is why you're safe now. But he blames Henry for what happened. And I think Elio feels guilt at not taking your desire to find Lazaro more seriously. You went to Henry, and then all this happened. Elio blames himself."

I can't sort out all the words she's saying.

"There's something else. Elio was skeptical of Henry when Henry asked for help, but then Henry told him that he loved you. I was there during the call. There was no doubt he was telling the truth. Henry was scared to death that he'd lose you. He was so desperate for help?—"

"That he called the Mob?"

She smiles. "He called the other man who'd be as invested, and ruthless if need be, to save you."

My heart clenches painfully at her words. For a moment, I allow myself to imagine a world where Henry and I could be together. But reality crashes back in, cold and unforgiving. We were doomed even before all this happened.

"It doesn't matter," I say, pushing away from Piper. "We could never be together. Elio wouldn't allow it."

She laughs, and I turn to her, annoyed that she'd find humor in my heartache.

"Since when do you let Elio dictate your life?"

She has a point. But inviting a cop into the family? Yeah, that just doesn't happen in my world.

She rises and comes to me, taking my hands in hers. "Don't give up on love. Love has a way of bridging even the widest gaps."

I scoff, but Piper continues undeterred. "Do you think it was easy for me to trust Elio again? I was sure he'd abandoned me and Elysse?—"

"He'd never do that."

"From where I stood, he did do that. His parents told me he did. Just like from your perspective, Henry was cruel."

I fight the urge to hope.

"And then I ended up in an abusive marriage. Fear ruled my life," she continues.

Her words give me pause. I turn to look at her, really look at her. I've always accepted her in the family, but I'd not been as welcoming to her as I should have been. I hadn't ever really spent time getting to know her.

As I study her, I see a woman with warmth, unequaled devotion to Elio and Elysse, and strength to reach out for the family she and Elio always wanted. It's a nice dream, but not for me and Henry.

"It's different with Henry. He's a cop, Piper. This isn't just a misunderstanding. Our worlds aren't just different. They're at war."

Piper squeezes my hand. "Maybe that's exactly why you need each other."

I can't see how, and yet her words stir something inside me, a flicker of hope. "What if I let him in and he betrays me again?"

Piper's eyes soften with understanding. "Love is always a risk, Lana. But from what I've seen, Henry is willing to risk everything for you. The question is, are you brave enough to do the same?"