17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Elizabeth ‘Liz' Monroe

L ewi leaves in a hurry, and it shocks me. Is something wrong? I turn in the direction he ran off before looking to Oli. He has a sad look on his face, but he gives me a small smile. "He needs a moment."

"Was it something I did?" I ask, biting my lip with worry.

He shakes his head. "Old demons coming out to play. He just needs a moment, and then he'll be alright."

I look toward the door again before gathering up my stuff. Oli grasps my forearm and asks, "Where are you going?"

I point to the door. "After him."

He shakes his head. "That's not a good idea. He often says things he doesn't mean when he's in one of these moods."

I tug out of his grasp and smirk. "Someone has to drag him out of his head. Who better than me?"

"Liz it isn't smart. He's going to say something and later regret his words. He can't help but lash out when he's like this," he pleads for me to understand.

With a soft smile, I say, "I promise I have thick skin, Mac. I will keep your words in mind when he lashes out."

After a moment, he deflates and lets out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Just… be careful with him. He acts tough, but he's more broken than he lets on."

I can't help but lean forward and press a kiss to the top of his head before backing away. "It's a good thing I'm familiar with handling broken things."

He shakes his head with a laugh. "He'll be at the rink. Most likely on the ice."

I nod and hustle out of the building, toward my car. It's not long before I'm pulling up to the hockey rink. I use my badge to get in since it's locked up for the night. This place is a little creepy when all the lights are off. Using the flashlight on my phone, I make my way to the ice.

The moment I step through the doors, I hear the scrape of his skates across the ice. It doesn't sound like he's doing anything hockey related though. As I get closer, I see him skate across the ice in no specific way, but then I hear him singing.

Keeping myself out of sight, I take him in. He's wearing headphones while he skates, slicing his feelings into the ice. The longer I listen to him sing, I realize it's Lonely by Nathan Wagner. His voice echoes around the empty rink as he sings the hauntingly beautiful melody.

I watch, enraptured by both his skating and his voice. When the song ends, I'm about to make myself known, but then he jumps straight into another song. The lyrics to Tattoo by Loreen slip between his lips, and it reminds me of a guy I once watched sing this on TikTok. Deep and melodic but also extremely sad.

This man has more scars and demons than I thought. It's like he's fighting between the man he wants to be and the man he believes he ought to be. I'm not sure whose standards he is trying to meet. His own or another's.

I can't stay hidden in the shadows anymore. Not when he's this distraught over something I don't know how to help or fix. It's a moment before he sees me, and he does a double take, almost tripping over his skates.

"Liz?" he chokes out.

I give him a shy wave. "Hey."

He looks around for a moment before back at me. "Did… did anyone else come with you?"

I shake my head. "No."

He doesn't move from his spot as he asks quietly, "How long have you been there?"

I shrug, trying to play it off like I haven't been here long, but his eyes narrow, and he asks again, "How long have you been there, Elizabeth?"

Ouch… using full names now. "About halfway through Lonely, I think."

"You think?" he asks with a raised brow.

I shrug again as I reply, "I mean… I don't know the exact halfway point between the beginning and end of the song. It's a rough guess." Something flickers in his eyes, and I realize that he's about to do exactly what Mac warned me he would.

"You don't belong here," he grunts.

I don't back down. "I have every right to be here just as much as you."

His eyes narrow. "I didn't say you couldn't be here. I said you don't belong. Fuck off, Elizabeth."

Squaring my shoulders, I stand a bit taller. "No."

He throws his hands in the air. "Fine! I'll fuckin leave then." He growls and turns to skate away.

I point at him, not that he can see it, as I shout, "Don't you dare skate off! We are not done here, Lewis."

"Yeah, we are." He huffs and moves to skate away.

"Lewi!" I yell.

"FUCK OFF, ELIZABETH!" he bellows.

Oh hell no. He did not just do that. No one uses that tone with me. I spent far too many years letting a boy disrespect me. It will be a cold day in hell before I let this man do the same. "Dean Lewis, you better stop right now!" I command loudly.

"Or what?!"

"Don't make me get on this ice."

He continues to skate the other direction, but at least he's moving slower than before. "Just go away! You don't actually care; all you want is Oli's dick and maybe even mine! You don't care. All you're going to do is use us, then walk away. So fuck off!" he roars; his chest heaving.

I jerk back as if he'd slapped me with those words. Use them? When have I ever given them that impression. I'm about to say ‘fuck it' and ‘fuck all the way off' when Mac's words reply in my brain. He's going to say things he doesn't mean. He's going to regret his words while trying to push you away. Yeah, his words hurt, and they do make me want to walk away. But… that's exactly what he wants, isn't it?

Swallowing down the hurt I feel, I march toward him. Walking on ice in tennis shoes takes skill and practice and isn't altogether the smartest idea, but that doesn't matter to me right now. I need to knock some sense into the hockey player before me. "I'm going to kick your ass for that."

He looks over his shoulder and slides to a stop. He looks confused when he turns to skate in my direction. "What the hell are you doing?"

I'm trying to focus on my footing, so I don't eat shit and bruise my ass. "Apparently, being a woman of action and refusing to take your shit." The moment he's close enough, I slap him across the face before cupping his cheeks with my hands. It's a bit difficult and a little awkward, considering he's tall to begin with, and now he's got the added height from his skates.

His gaze meets mine and he asks again, "What are you doing?"

"Being your friend." I sigh. "Stop pushing me away. I'm not going to do this hot and cold with you. Either you want to be my friend or not."

He looks lost as his eyes flick over my face before he whispers, "I'm scared."

"Of what?" I ask softly.

"You seeing how much of a fuck up I am."

My brows knit as I argue, "You're not a fuck up, Dean."

"I am… I have to prove to you that I'm not."

I pull his face down to my own, so we are now eye level. I put every bit of conviction I feel into my voice. "You have nothing to prove to me. Nothing at all. You are not a fuck up, and there is nothing wrong with you. No one is perfect, and if anyone says they are, they're lying."

He takes a few breaths before asking in a hushed tone, "Can I hug you?"

The question catches me off guard, but I nod. "Yeah… Of course." I feel tiny when he wraps his arms around me, holding on tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into my neck.

His body is shaking in my arms, and I give him a squeeze as I reply, "I'll forgive you, as long as you never full-name me again. It was really weird hearing you call me Elizabeth."

His body relaxes slightly, and he chuckles softly. "Done."

"Also, if you ever talk to me like that again, know that I'll do worse than slap you across the face." I threaten with a snort.

"I would deserve it."

"Do you want to skate a little longer?" I ask.

He shakes his head and pulls away. "Let's go home."

"Movie night?" I ask in a hopeful tone. I know we have work in the morning, but I could really use a good movie and popcorn night.

He chuckles and nods, then skates over to the edge of the ice. He goes slow as I walk beside him in my tennis shoes. "What movie do you have in mind? I'm not sure all the guys will stay up to watch. Most of them have already gone to bed."

I huff in disappointment. That's true. "We don't have to do a movie night. I just thought it may be a nice way to wind down."

He bumps my shoulder before stepping off the ice to remove his skates. "Mac is still awake, I'm sure. He's a mother hen when it comes to me and my moods. We can stay up and watch a movie with you, if you'd like."

I bite my lip; I don't want to be an inconvenience. "It's fine. I can watch it in my room, so all of you can sleep."

He chuckles, shaking his head as he looks up at me from the bench. For the moment his chocolate brown eyes are filled with mirth and laughter, which takes me aback. They held so much pain when I first walked in. I've never seen Dean's eyes so light and airy. "We will be awake anyways, Ice Princess. Mac won't mind staying up to watch a movie with you."

Ignoring the new nickname for now, I arch a brow. "And you?"

He shrugs, packing up his skates before he says, "I owe you for treating you like shit." He rubs the back of his neck as he continues, "I'm not good with new people, let alone with them seeing my shortcomings."

Without thought, I step forward, wrapping my arm around his forearm that holds his skates. I give him a gentle tug to head toward the exit. "Everyone has flaws and shortcomings, Dean."

He hums and follows my insistent tugging. His voice is so quiet, I'm not sure I'm supposed to hear him say, "You seem pretty perfect to me."

I pretend to not hear it as I look over my shoulder with an arched brow. "What?"

His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "Nothing. You never said what movie you wanted to watch."

"Have you seen Howl's Moving Castle ?" I ask as we step outside the building.

"Can't say that I have," he answers.

I release my grip on his arm, but he quickly takes my hand. When I look back, his cheeks are lightly dusted pink. He nods toward his car. "I can give you a ride home, and one of us can give you a ride to work in the morning."

I look at my car before shrugging my shoulders. This is probably a horrible idea, but something about the look in his eyes makes me want to go with him. He looks like he wants a bit more one-on-one time with me. Only me.

I know this is a bad idea. These guys are finding ways to melt the ice around my heart. I need to stay strong and not give into the temptation of these two men. But... a car ride won't hurt anyone. Will it?