Chapter 19

McKenzie

Why does it excite me that he's telling me we're going to kill someone? And getting the chance to go to one of these fights sounds fun. I'll get to see a side of Phoenix I've never seen before. Well… unless I have and don't remember.

"Have I ever been to a fight with you before?" I ask him.

He smirks and gives me a sideways glance. "You have." I narrow my eyes at him. He's not saying something. "I promise we'll have fun."

"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm looking forward to seeing this side of you." Something like sadness flashes in his eyes. "I mean, I know I've seen this side of you, but I don't remember." A lump forms in my throat and I swallow, trying to get rid of it. He leans close to me and places a kiss on the side of my head.

"You will," he promises again.

He sounds so sure, but I'm beginning to doubt. It's been almost nine months. How long will it take? Before I can say anything, Rex and Anna walk into the kitchen. There's a light in Anna's eyes that wasn't there earlier. It makes me breathe easier.

"Can Anna go?" I whisper.

He shakes his head. "She's not ready, but we'll go out to eat beforehand and she can go with us." I smile at him pleased he's willing to make a compromise.

Anna greets us. "Hi."

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

She takes a deep breath as she looks around the large kitchen, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. "Okay."

Rex places his hand on her back and whispers something in her ear. She nods once and steps further into the kitchen, Rex staying right beside her. She must have told him how she felt about large spaces and he's doing what he can to make her feel more comfortable.

I take a sip of my wine. "Phoenix said we can go out to eat tomorrow night. Do you think you're up for it?" I ask her. Her face brightens, and she looks at Rex. He gives her an encouraging smile.

"Yes! I think getting out of the house will help me." It's going to take years for us to get through all this trauma, but we'll do it together. Anna twirls her blonde hair around her finger. "Ummm…" She pauses and takes a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure Dr. Chamberland was involved in my kidnapping. I told Kenz earlier he always wore a mask, but he would check in on me randomly. He said something one day when he was checking on me here and I realized who he was. That's why I asked to not see him anymore."

Phoenix's hands grip his silverware so tightly his knuckles turn white. Anna looks out the windows and closes her eyes. "When you walked in earlier, I had just told Kenz that there was a woman there with eyes that looked like yours. She said it was your mother." Phoenix drops his silverware, making Anna jump slightly as they clatter against the counter.

I place my hand on his thigh, offering some type of comfort. I know it can't be easy when the one person that's been on a pedestal your entire life is knocked off in one night. Phoenix doesn't take his eyes off Anna, giving her his full attention. His face is a perfectly created mask. I know that expression well. He wore it a lot when I thought I was his prisoner.

Anna clears her throat and rubs her hands along the counter. "The dean from Brighton…" She closes her eyes. "He would do things to me and she would watch."

I glance at Rex. His face is a mask as well. I'm sure he's already heard this, but I know this can't be easy for him either. He was her security guard. The little I know about him, he probably blames himself.

Phoenix stands slowly, every move calculated. He walks to Anna and hugs her. My heart melts a little at how gentle he is with her. This man can kill someone with his bare hands, but he knows how to be soft as well. He leans back, gently holding her shoulders.

"I promise they'll all pay."

Anna glances at me with a small smile playing on her lips. "McKenzie promised we'd kill them, then have a party."

Phoenix's head snaps in my direction, his mouth tipping into a mischievous grin. "Did she?"

I lift my shoulder and return his grin. "It's a promise I intend to keep."

Rex laughs as he and Phoenix share a look. "Sounds like a plan to me," they say in unison.

The next day I feel a little nauseous and worried about how the night is going to go. Nix and Rex are currently meeting in his downstairs office to plan the night while Anna and I sit in the library. My book is open in my lap, but I haven't read a page yet.

"Are you nervous?" Anna asks me.

I take a deep breath and look over at her. "Is it that obvious?"

She chuckles. "Well, you haven't flipped a page in a while and you keep chewing on your thumbnail."

I pull my thumb out of my mouth and grimace. "I don't know what to expect. I hope Nix prepares me for tonight." I give her a sideways glance. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the fight?"

She's shaking her head before I finish. "I'm nervous as it is going to a restaurant. Even with Rex and Phoenix there knowing they'll protect me. There are too many things that could happen at the fight."

"Okay. I don't want you to feel like we're intentionally leaving you out."

She pats my hand and we face each other more fully, both of us sitting on the couch. "I don't feel that way. It's going to take me some time to begin feeling any resemblance of normalcy."

"And that's okay. The things you went through… Do you ever think about the other girls we went to school with and where they might be now?" I ask her. Anna nods as she picks at a loose piece of thread on her jeans. "I remember seeing one of the girls from school at the auction Nix took me to after he bought me." I pull my legs up to my chest. "What if they didn't have anyone looking for them?"

"Maybe they got to stay with the person who bought them," Anna murmurs.

"That's true, but what if they didn't want to be sold? You didn't. I didn't. Nix told me to be in the council you either have to sell your first-born daughter or buy someone else's daughter."

Anna brings her fingers to her lips and shrugs. "I don't know." Her words are barely above a whisper. I can tell from the frantic look in her eyes my questions are making her anxious, so I drop it.

"What are you going to wear tonight?" I smile at her, trying to ease her mind.

"Rex said to dress casual, but what does that mean? I don't think I've ever seen him or Phoenix leave the house in jeans."

I chuckle. "I think their idea of casual is dress pants and a button-up shirt, no tie."

She laughs and nods. "What are you wearing?"

"I'm wearing jeans, a lacy camisole, and heels. Nix said it gets warm in the warehouse, so I thought that would be the safest bet."

She arches an eyebrow at me. "You're wearing heels to a fight?"

"Nix told me he wanted me to look fuckable. So everyone will be jealous knowing he'll be the only one fucking me tonight."

Anna covers her mouth and giggles. "You two are so cute." I shrug one shoulder, not disagreeing. "I don't have a lot of things. Could I wear something of yours?"

"Of course."

I hop up off the couch and grab her hand, pulling her with me, excited to have something else to think about besides what could happen tonight. We head upstairs and I stop in front of the bedroom door. He told me once this was our space, and no one was allowed in. Did that mean Anna?

Turning left to the other room I stayed in, I take her to the walk-in closet. There are still clothes in here. I'll have to ask Phoenix why, but it works out in my favor for tonight. I motion to the clothes. "Take your pick. My outfit is already picked out and waiting for me in my bedroom."

Anna walks around the closet, her fingers grazing across pieces as she goes. She pulls out a black jumpsuit that's strapless. She shows it to me before holding it against herself. "What do you think?"

I smile. "I think it will look perfect on you. I have some black Louboutin heels you could wear with it." She squeals a little and does a little dance. Anna always loved this type of stuff. She liked getting dressed up. I learned the majority of my style from her.

"Go ahead and get dressed. I'll be right back. I need to ask Nix something. Will you be okay?" She smiles and nods. She's venturing out more, but I don't want to assume she'll be okay by herself. I turn, heading back downstairs and to Nix's office. His door isn't closed all the way, but I hear him and Rex talking, so I knock.

"Come in," Nix calls out.

I walk in and give a small wave. Nix leans back in his chair and smiles at me. He has no idea what he does to me when he smiles at me like that. His gaze sweeps over me, and my stomach quivers. I'm wearing tights and a T-shirt, but the way he looks at me, I could be standing here in lingerie.

"Hey, love. Are you and Anna done reading?"

I walk further into the room and smile at Rex. He nods slightly with an amused look on his face. "Yes. She didn't have anything to wear, so I told her she could look through some of my clothes. I just…" I'm not sure if I should say this in front of Rex or not, but Nix isn't telling him to leave, so I continue. "I remembered you saying our room was ours and no one was allowed in our space, but I wanted us to do our hair and makeup together—"

Nix holds his hand up, stopping me. "That situation and this one is different. Of course she can go in there and you two can have fun getting ready. I'll get Phillip to bring you two snacks and some champagne."

I break out into a big smile and close the distance between us. I intend to kiss him quickly and leave, but he grabs the back of my head and lingers for a few seconds longer before pulling away slightly. Our eyes connect and for the first time since I woke up here all those months ago, I feel a connection with him I didn't realize we were missing.

It's like now we're on the same team and no longer fighting each other. I lean forward one more time, giving him another kiss. "I love you," I whisper against his lips.

He flexes his hand in my hair and grins at me. "I love you too, love." I know at this moment if I never get my memories back, I'll be okay with that.