Journey

JOURNEY

Being with Freddie is freeing. I feel good, and it's nice to be out in the sun. The more time I spend with him, the more he grows on me. Hearing my sister tell me it's okay to breathe again was huge. It's been a long time since I've allowed myself anything other than time working at the bar.

I love Butch like a dad and will do anything he needs of me. That bar was my lifeline in a new town. He gave me a second chance without realizing it. I had driven for almost a full day trying to put as many miles as I could between myself and my old life. The life that became tainted overnight by lies and misleadings.

I pulled into the back parking lot of Foggy Goggles, turning off the engine and closing my eyes. I had no idea where I was or what I was doing here, but I needed a breather. A knock on my window scared me half to death but the eyes of the big old man staring back at me held care and concern.

I'm sure he could read the exhaustion on my face and it wasn't one of my brighter moments walking into a bar with a strange man three times my age. But he didn't press me for information. All he did was ask if I was hungry, and ordered some food. He told me about a small motel a mile away I could stay in and if I needed money to pay for the motel, he had a job for me.

I took the opportunity hoping to just clear my head in a mundane job before figuring out what my next step was. But this bar was not like any other I had been to. Seeing what Butch offers to young musicians felt like I was specifically placed here. It was a second chance for the aspiring musician inside me, but on the other side of the music life. I was watching others, judging them and offering help. I wasn't being pushed to do any more than what I wanted to talk about.

We chatted a lot about the bands that came and went through the bar and he recounted many stories of when he was young and went concert hopping around the world.

And when I was finally ready to talk to Butch about my past, he listened with care and concern, not with pity. He told me I was strong and I could do whatever I wanted to do. If it meant singing again, I could. If it meant working the bar, I could. Life was what I wanted it to be.

But I had to remember to never let someone else dull the sound inside of me.

Being close to Freddie on that piano bench the other night was exciting. It made my heart race, and not just the music, but him . I played a few notes forgetting for just a moment that I had a guard up, or that I shouldn't let myself have fun. But when the thoughts reminding me of how I was used came racing back, I ran away fast from him and that bench.

Today? Telling a small portion of the story that changed my future, felt right. I feel I can trust him. He's not looking to make me into something I'm not. He's not looking to take anything from me, or use me to further himself.

Which is exactly what my ex boyfriend did.

We walk the short distance to my friend's winery, Vine'yl Anthems. It's similar to Foggy Goggles where it has a stage for karaoke and for the occasional bands to play at. But the drinks are wine only. They boast an impressive stock of everything from whites to pinks to reds.

And if he loves Sauvignon Blanc like he says he does, Freddie is going to fall in love with this place.

"Wow, I've been livin' in the city for almost a year and I've never been here. This is great." He takes the place in. It's super cute with albums on the wall and autographed pictures of all the rockers who have come in and out of the place.

"!" I turn when I hear my friend Kyrie's voice. She walks toward me with her arms outstretched. "I'm so happy to see ya!"

I give her a squeeze. "Same, girl."

"Butch gave ya a night off? I'm shocked!" She laughs and I laugh along with her.

"He told me if I didn't take a break, he was going to fire me."

"He's a damn liar."

Freddie barks out a laugh and Kyrie appraises him while I make introductions. "Kyrie, this is my friend, Freddie. Freddie, this is Kyrie, she owns this winery."

They shake hands. "Yes I know who ya are. Ya manage Under Rhaps, right? They've got a great sound."

"I do. And thank ya ma'am. We've got a lot of work to do but it's been quite a rush so far." He glances around at the walls and lets out an appreciative whistle. "This place is pretty cool. I've been meanin' to come in but haven't had a lot of free time."

Kyrie glances around with admiration. "My parents have all toured or showed with every one of these bands from years ago. So it's my little give back to them, for givin' me such an amazing childhood."

I smile. I love listening to Kyrie talk about this. Her parents were famous singers in the eighties and the stories she has to tell are amazing.

"So, do ya guys want a table?"

"Yes, please. And a bottle of your favorite Savvy B." Freddie smirks and grabs my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Ya got it. Grab a table anywhere and I'll be by in a moment."

We walk to a secluded table nearest the stage that is used for karaoke.

"In case ya get the urge to sing a tune or two." He nods to the stage and I roll my eyes.

"Don't be that guy, Freddie."

He laughs, throwing his hands up but pulls out a chair for me to sit in, sliding into his own. "I'm not being anything. I'm just merely pointing out the stage is there. Waiting."

"Hm. Feel free to jump on it, then."

He turns toward me, placing his hand on the back of my chair, and the other on the front edge of the seat, between my legs and yanks me in close. "It's not the stage I want to jump on."

His eyes turn a dark blue shade of desire and my heart thunders loud in my chest. My eyes drop to his lips as he runs his tongue along his bottom one. "Freddie, I…"

"Here ya go!" Kyrie announces her arrival with a bucket of ice and two glasses. She shows us a bottle of the Sauvignon Blanc and then opens it in front of us, pouring a slight bit in a glass and pushing it in front of Freddie. He takes it, swirls it then gulps the sip. I track his throat as he swallows, suddenly needing my own drink to cool off.

He nods. "That's good."

"Right? One of my faves, I knew ya would love it." She pours glasses for us both, placing the bottle in the bucket. "Enjoy. Yell if ya need anything."

Freddie lifts his glass expectantly waiting for me to do the same. "To never fightin' the feelings."

I pause hearing the lyrics from the famous song by REO Speedwagon. "Really?" I reply with sarcasm.

"What?"

"That was lame." I huff out and put my glass on the table.

"Okay smartass, do better."

I contemplate for a moment before raising my glass back to his. "To real life. To fantasy. To never being caught in a landslide." I quickly scan through the lyrics in my head to Bohemian Rhapsody.

He chuckles, tapping my glass and leans in close again. "To hiding' nothin' and believin' what I say."

I hold my glass, trying to come up with the song and he speaks again. " You've turned night into day ." And then he sings the famous line from the song ‘Open Arms'.

" I need you to stay ." His sound washes over me and I'm lost to him. Everything I've been fighting about being with another rock star is lost to me. Because he's not just a rock star.

He's Freddie.

And I think he could be mine.

I lean in, meeting his lips with mine. Whether he's surprised or not that I made the first move, he doesn't show it. He simply allows me to lead the way. I let my lips linger on his, feeling the softness and reveling in the connection. Pulling back, I smile at the way his eyes watch me, seeming to dance with excitement.

He taps my glass. ", can we have that drink now?" he teases and I laugh.

"Yes, now we can." We each take a sip, appreciating the taste. "She's right. This is good." I take another drink.

"Not as good as what I just had." I can feel the blush take over my face and down my neck. "Oh no, ya not goin' to get embarrassed now. I've been dying for ya to do that for three and a half weeks. And we're goin' to do it again."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Oh, . Because I can feel ya heart racin' for me. Ya eyes are on fire for me." He leans in close. "And if I don't get another taste of ya, I may just die."

"You rock stars are so dramatic."

He laughs. "I prefer passionate."

It's late in the evening. We've spent hours here at Kyrie's winery, enjoying the wine, enjoying people watching and most of all, enjoying each other. Freddie has to be the biggest surprise since being in this city. Of all the bands and wanna be rockers that I've met passing through Foggy Goggles, he's been the realest.

Which is scary yet refreshing. It's been many years since I've allowed myself to just enjoy being with someone. Enjoy being a young woman who can feel free to get to know someone. Get a little wild. And most of all, get lost in the excitement of a possible new love.

Freddie excuses himself to the restroom and I take in the stage with the mic stands and piano standing in the middle. My mind wanders to when I was a nineteen year old girl with nothing but love for music and a zest for life. Being on stage with my friends at a random bar, just singing and having fun without a worry in the world was the best time of my life.

A few notes float through the air and I notice Freddie sitting at that piano. He smiles when I look toward him and nods his head, calling me over. I grab my wine glass noticing there are only a few tables left in the place. I slide in next to him on the bench while he continues to play.

"I love listening to you." I close my eyes and sway. "Anyone, really. My mom used to play every night. She's the one who taught me when I was young. Sometimes, late at night, after I'd gone to bed, I would hear her playing and my dad would be humming along with her. It was sweet and I told myself one day I'd have a love like that, too."

I'm sharing a lot of feelings and I'm sure the wine has a bit to do with it, but it's also him. He's easy to talk to, once I allowed myself to realize it.

"My parents were the same. They made a marriage look so easy."

I smile, agreeing with him.

He begins to sing one of my favorite Queen songs, but changes the lyrics. "You need to break free from your past."

I smirk. "How do you know this is one of my favorite songs?"

"I don't. But it's one of mine so I always play around with it."

I tap on the keys, an octave higher than him to add another layer and then blend harmony with him as he sings. He looks at me in awe as our voices tangle together.

", you're finding the key to my heart."

I giggle. "By stroking the keys?" He growls and it makes me shiver.

"I wanna savvy B free."

I lay my hand on his thigh. "Are you writing a song for me?"

"I'll write all the songs for ya."

Without thinking, the words "Take me home," tumble from my lips and I know my future is about to change.