Chapter 69

Chapter Sixty-Nine

I can’t accept this!

I keep calling you because this can’t be real. Your phone must be dead, or maybe you’re in an area with no signal. It’s impossible that you just left me and blocked me out of nowhere, without any explanation!

We were so happy this morning. You left your husband for me— for us— and we had a future. Together . And now it’s all supposed to be in the past, even though it hasn’t even started yet? No! I won’t accept that!

You’re going to talk to me and explain whether or not you like it! I’m going crazy without you, Beauty. I can feel the dark inside me taking over again, because you’re not with me, grounding me. Why did you do this? What made you suddenly not want me anymore—just leave me here like this?

Your house is empty and cold. Your closet is partly empty, and June’s is, too. What’s all this about, Beauty? I don’t understand. You said you loved me, and now…

I need to find you and talk to you. I’m about to get on my bike and search the entire city if I have to. But when I see the headlights of an approaching car, I hope it's you coming back to clear up this terrible misunderstanding. You didn’t want to leave me, did you?

Fortunately, I don’t have to worry that your husband has done anything to you. And you’ll never have to worry again. After all, I took care of him tonight for you. He’s literally swimming with the fish now.

But when I see that it’s not you getting out of the car, but your daughter, all my questions hit me at once, and I’m utterly confused.

“Hi, June. Do you know where your mother is? I’m looking for her,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

It’s painful to see her because all I can see is you in her face. Except for her straight blonde hair, which she inherited from her father, June looks just like you. It hurts, Beauty. Why are you tormenting me like this? Why are you leaving me and sending your daughter in your place?

“I will not tell you where my mother is, but we need to talk, Ezra.”

I’m taken aback by her tone and demeanor. It’s not the playful, flirtatious side I’m used to; instead, she’s determined and focused, as if she has a specific purpose.

I nod and point my chin toward my house so we can continue talking and she follows me. Once inside, I close the door, and we head to the kitchen because that’s where my only seating is, apart from my bed upstairs, but that would be inappropriate.

“Tell me about your mother now, and what do you want to talk to me about?” I pick up the conversation, still confused.

I wonder if June knows about us. Did you say something? But then she would probably act differently toward me if she knew I had something with her mother. Fuck, Beauty, what are you doing to me again?

This lack of understanding makes me increasingly restless. When I get restless, I inevitably become angry, but I’m no longer the kind of person who flips out and hurts someone. I can’t be like that anymore!

“My mother doesn’t know I’m here, and I’m supposed to stay away from you.”

“Why is that?” I ask and almost laugh because what your daughter tells me sounds so far-fetched. What’s going on here, Beauty?

“Because supposedly you hurt a lot of girls from your past. And that’s why I’m here. I want to know if it’s true because… I can’t believe it. Ezra? You don’t hurt women, do you?” June asks, her voice much more reserved and meek. She nervously fiddles with her fingers, which are lying on the table in front of her as we sit opposite each other.

At first, I’m so shocked by these new developments that I need a moment before I can answer. You… you know? How do you know? JENNY! That little bitch is dead!

Struggling to control my unbridled rage and not take it out on your daughter, I inhale and exhale several times. You left me and would rather believe a little junkie bitch than me? Instead of talking to me? FUCK! That makes me angry, Beauty! So angry that I could lay the entire world to waste right now. This betrayal runs deep, baby; I hope you realize that!

“Do you believe that? That I did something to some girls when I was younger? Hey, June. It’s me. Ezra. Your neighbor. The nice guy you’ve been chasing around his whole house, texting him with ideas for his decor. Do you remember?” I reply, trying to reassure her with a grin.

June’s serious features, which have been present since she got out of her car, gradually smooth out, and she returns my smile as she shakes her head. Can you see that, Beauty? Even your daughter believes me, but you don’t? Don’t you love me at all? Was it all a lie? Fuck!

The smile on June’s full lips—your lips—widens. Shit, she is the spitting image of you. Why aren’t you here with me now? Why don’t you trust me? Why does your image have to sit before me and not you?

“What about your mom? Is she all right?” I then ask her.

She bites her lower lip and avoids my gaze.

“I don’t know. She… fell down the stairs, and then all those weird things she said about you. I don’t know if she’s okay. I’m worried,” she says, giving me an uncertain look.

June leans over the table and grabs my hand, which shocks me because I almost imagine it’s your hand. Fuck! That’s not good! I miss you so much I could practically imagine your daughter is you…

“I’m sure everything will be fine. But you… should leave now if your mom doesn’t want you to be here.” I try to do the right thing.

I mustn’t covet your daughter. Everything will clear up. I just have to take care of that little bitch Jenny first and shut her up. Then there will be no one between us, Beauty. I promise you. After that, you’ll quell the darkness inside me forever…

“Does that mean… I can’t work for you anymore?” she asks, visibly unhappy.

I don’t want to make your daughter unhappy. I want her to smile and show you she’s important to me too because she’s important to you, but you… you baby, you mean everything to me!