Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I ’m still completely electrified, even though he stopped making me scream with ecstasy a long time ago. Ezra took me everywhere in his club. Be it another time on his desk, bent over one of the boxing rings, once again from behind, on the stairs as we headed upstairs to the showers. Standing against the wall under the hot jet of water, we completed this little but damn hot adventure perfectly.

My God, this man is not only insatiable, but he awakens a hunger in me I didn’t think I had at all. A greedy hunger because I want so much more of him.

I know what I’ve done is wrong and absolutely reprehensible, and I also feel guilty about my husband, whom I’m about to come home to and lie to his face. But the truth is, I can’t and won’t give up on Ezra. I don't want to let go of this new feeling he brings out in me, the one that makes everything feel right.

“When will I see you again, Beauty? I miss you already, and so does my cock,” he murmurs in his damn tempting voice before he grabs me by the back of the neck and pulls me to his lips to kiss me, forbiddingly hot, making everything inside me tingle once more. God! I’m going to hell, but damn it, I’ll burn for this man!

He grabs my hand and places it on the hard bulge in his pants. I immediately feel the twitch and gasp for air. How can he be hard so many times in a row? When I think of Thomas… we’ve never slept together twice in one day.

Ezra and I are standing outside his boxing club, and I know we should be careful, even if we’re far away from our neighborhood and our neighbors’ prying eyes.

My wedding ring weighs heavily on my finger, and it feels like it’s literally burning my skin, etching my deceit and the shame that comes with it. And yet, I already know that I will make this unforgivable mistake again and again.

Ezra had to lend me one of his training jackets because he ruined my blouse, and Kelly only packed me this pink sports bra. But I can’t come home to my husband if he thinks I am out with Kelly .

“I don’t know,” I whisper against Ezra’s soft lips.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to come and ambush you if your husband isn’t in sight,” he replies with a rakish grin that makes my cheeks glow.

Just the thought of how Ezra could surprise me in my garden shed or once again in the hot tub, and how we’d have to be careful not to get caught makes the panicked knot in my stomach swell further and further and my heart beat like crazy.

I bite down hard on my lower lip. I am still—or again?—so aroused that I can hardly stand it, and my head is already spinning. What are you doing to me, Ezra King?

“My husband… Ezra, we have to be careful. I… don’t know what this is between us, and we both know it can’t be…” I fall silent because Ezra’s fingers gently cup my chin, and that little touch makes me feel completely energized again.

“I know. But I can’t stay away from you now, Beauty. We’ll wait and see what this is between us, okay? I’ll spoil you and your perfect body in the meantime. Agreed?” he murmurs against my lips before he kisses me again so hotly that I’m instantly wet again. Damn!

If I wasn’t completely sore and we weren’t in a public place, I’d love to go down on him again, or rather, let him go down on me…

Does this incredibly attractive guy think I’m sexy? I still can’t quite believe it. Because, of course, June’s birth didn’t leave my body unscathed. My stomach is adorned with some old stretch marks from pregnancy, and cellulite is my constant companion. And even though I may look younger than Kelly or others my age, my true age is still quite evident. So how can he desire me and my body so much?

I nod weakly, interrupting our kiss. Even though I don’t want to, our adventure today is over, and I have to get back to reality. Unfortunately .

“Then I should take you back home, Mrs. Shepherd,” Ezra replies with a grin, giving me goosebumps just from the way he says my name.

He nods toward his black and green motorcycle, and my heart immediately sinks. Oh, right… Ezra doesn’t have a car. I’d forgotten that for a moment. Surely I can’t let him take me home on his bike? What if Thomas sees us from the window? But what else can I do? Calling a cab at this time of night would be strange and would probably raise even more questions than if I just jumped on his bike and enjoyed one last moment close to him.

Ezra approaches me with a grin and puts his helmet on me. His unmistakable scent immediately penetrates my nose and fogs my brain. Even if I had been afraid, those fears have vanished now. All I can see, smell, and feel is him. Ezra .

After he closes the strap, he nods contentedly. I can’t see much through the dark visor. I don’t even have a clue what time it is. But since Thomas thinks I’m out with Kelly, and there’s been no angry call from him, he probably won’t think anything of it. I got lucky this time.

Ezra swings onto his bike and then pats on the small seat behind him. I feel a little queasy in my stomach because I’ve never ridden a motorcycle. I only rode a scooter once in my youth.

Unsure, I climb onto his bike and tentatively hold on to him. With a broad grin, he looks over his shoulder, grabs my hands, and pulls me tighter against him so that I’m pressed completely against his back while he folds my arms around his waist.

“We don’t want you to get lost, little lioness,” he replies with a laugh before starting the engine, which hums heavily beneath us.

He speeds out of the parking lot quickly, and I suppress the impulse to scream. Instead, I clutch the front of his leather jacket a little tighter and press myself closer to him to be sure I won’t fall off. I feel a shaking ripple through his body, which tells me he is laughing at me. Shame glows in my cheeks, but I don’t feel bad. On the contrary, I suddenly feel like I did when I was seventeen, before life made its decisions for me. So I turn my brain off and enjoy the ride until we turn into our street and finally arrive in front of his driveway.

Ezra turns off the engine, and now the ride with him feels way too short. I realize I wouldn’t have minded if we’d gone for another little spin. I even enjoyed it when he sped around the bends. Although Ezra and I probably have a different definition of driving fast. But it was still a great experience, and I would like to have it with him again.

I slowly climb off his bike with soft knees and pull the helmet off. My hair, still wet, sticks to my face, and I’m sure I look ridiculous. Ezra gets off his bike and turns to me. When he sees me, he grins broadly. I wipe a few stray strands from my face as he stands and looks down at me. I return his gaze and swallow as his fingertips run tenderly over my glowing cheeks. But when the light in the neighbor’s kitchen across from us is switched on, I step back and look at Ezra apologetically.

“Good night, Mrs. Shepherd. It was a pleasure working out with you today.” Ezra bids me farewell before turning away with a sly grin, and we walk to our respective porches.

When I arrive at mine, I glance over at him again, only to realize that he is doing the same. I smile as I finally step inside and lock the front door behind me, immediately turning on the alarm. Glancing at the clock downstairs in the hallway tells me it’s well past midnight. I can’t believe it’s so late, but I wouldn’t want to miss a second of the time I’ve spent with Ezra today.

My heart is still pounding in my throat as I walk up the stairs, lost in thought, to get ready for bed.

I quietly enter my bedroom so that I don’t wake my husband. My guilty conscience immediately gnaws at me when I see him sleeping peacefully in our bed. Thomas has spent the evening here at home while I’ve been doing all these wicked things with Ezra. I’m a terrible person, mostly because I want to see him again. Damn.

As I try to sneak quietly to my side of the bed, Thomas’s bedside lamp suddenly turns on, and I freeze in my tracks.

“It’s pretty late. I thought you’d call and let me know when you’ll be home,” Thomas reprimands me in a sleepy voice as he glances at his alarm clock.

“Do you always tell me when you’re coming home from a business dinner?” I reply more sharply than I intended.

My gaze automatically wanders briefly to Ezra’s window. But his bedroom is still completely dark.

A dangerous hiss makes me look at Thomas again. He stares at me angrily and shakes his head disapprovingly.

“I’ve been waiting for you! I don’t enjoy waiting, Cora,” he replies gruffly.

“But… you wanted me to go out. I…” I try to defend myself.

But I don’t actually want to argue with him right now. My guilty conscience is already killing me anyway, so I don’t want to look him in the eye.

“That’s right. I hoped giving you more freedom would help you come to your senses. But this… all these recent developments… I don’t like them at all, Cora,” Thomas spits angrily and gets up from the bed.

A little panicked, I glance at Ezra’s house, which is still in darkness, and quickly take a few steps to the window to draw the heavy curtain so we’re out of sight. I don’t want Ezra to see us arguing and stir up more unrest or perhaps false hope because I can’t and won’t leave my husband for him. We’re having an affair, but I remain committed to my promise—I can’t leave my husband because of June. Even though the voice of reason keeps reminding me that June is the only thing holding me back from cheating or even leaving my husband, I push those thoughts aside. They don’t belong here, not now.

“What are you wearing?” he says, looking at me with his head tilted.

My heart stops momentarily and sinks into my stomach before I try to calm down again and not let it show. However, I can’t stop my hands from nervously tugging at Ezra’s training jacket, which still has his unmistakable smell on it.

“I was training with Kelly, and then we went to a self-defense class. It was really educational, and I had a good time. I thought that was what we discussed when you gave me a few days off?”

Thomas narrows his eyes to slits for a moment until his expression becomes contorted with anger, and he points his chin at my chest, which is decorated with the boxing club logo.

“Isn’t that our neighbor’s place?” he hisses and grabs my upper arms.

I nod and try to keep my face neutral.

“I can’t stand that guy.” I can’t say I blame you…

He shakes his head reprovingly.

“I don’t want you spending your time with a guy like that. What does it look like? That’s not appropriate, Cora!” he scolds me.

I bite my tongue to stop myself from reminding him about his cheating, which everyone in the neighborhood has heard. But since I’m no better, I prefer to keep my mouth shut and say nothing. Besides, I don’t want to argue with him at all. Especially not when he’s so angry.

“I didn’t technically spend my time with him. I took a course he led, which I attended with my best friend,” I explain calmly, trying to salvage the situation and not make him even angrier.

His eyebrows rise dangerously and he doesn’t look happy. I don’t know what to do or how to turn things around now so that things don’t escalate.

“You won’t set foot in this club again, and I don’t want to see you with him. Have I made myself clear?” he growls darkly, grabbing my arms and pulling me close to his face.

I nod forcedly, as I always do when he lets this other side of himself out. I don’t want to back down again, but I know this can only backfire if I don’t keep my mouth shut.

“Then don’t piss me off. Just be my normal wife again!” he growls before letting go of me and getting back into bed as if nothing had happened.

Thomas turns off the light, plunging the room into darkness, and leaves me standing there, ignored. I struggle to hold back tears because I feel so small and defenseless that it shatters my heart. He’s my husband—he should love and desire me. Instead, he diminishes me, rejects me, and makes me feel worthless, like I’m not enough for him.

It stabs violently in my chest, and I barely hold back the sobs that want to fight their way up from my throat before I turn away and flee to the bathroom to shed silent tears.

Once in the bathroom, I lean against the closed door and let my tears free while I press my hand over my mouth.

Just an hour ago, I was happy and felt wanted, loved, comfortable, and safe in Ezra’s strong arms. I know Ezra would never raise his hand to me or hurt me. He wouldn’t intimidate me and keep me down. And yet, there’s nothing I can do to change the situation. I’m trapped, and it seems that’s how it will stay for now.