Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

“ W ho’s that?” I ask Kelly, whispering in her ear as I reach her.

“A trainer. He works here and wants to do the trial training with us. You can train with Ezra and I can train with Tobi. Or do you want to swap? They’re both hot, don’t you think?” Kelly babbles on.

I only understood half of what she said because since Ezra has been so close to me, I can only concentrate on the throbbing in my belly. Everything else seems secondary because this sensual longing that sets me on fire makes me lose focus.

“Cora?” I am snapped out of the madness of my thoughts and feel an elbow jab me in the ribs.

I wince and realize that all three of them are looking at me. My cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Lost in thought, are we?” Kelly asks, amused.

Lifting my head slightly, I meet Ezra’s eyes and how he’s looking at me; he knows exactly what’s happening in my head. I can’t do this! I can’t think about you like this.

Kelly gives me another scrutinizing look, but when I nod imperceptibly at her, confirming everything is fine, she turns to Tobi with her best smile. She must have found her new victim. I’m not surprised, though. This Tobi doesn’t look bad, either. Well trained, not entirely as defined and broad as Ezra, but still very handsome. Tobi is also blonde, which is more Kelly’s type.

I watch for a moment as Tobi shows her the first steps. As I wasn’t paying attention, I’m unsure whether this should be a self-defense course or just a trial session. I feel out of place here and don’t know what to do until a hot breath hits the back of my neck again.

“Gentle or rough?” Ezra asks close behind me, and I feel his hands lightly stroking upwards over my arms.

I swallow hard at his question, and my mind goes haywire. My pulse quickens, and my breathing increases involuntarily. When Ezra’s near, I can’t keep myself under control—it’s embarrassing.

“Hm?” is all I can get out.

Ezra steps a little closer to me, pressing himself back again and leaning down a little so that his lips hover over my neck but not touching me.

“Training,” he murmurs. “Do you prefer it gentle?”

His fingers delicately run up my arms and over my collarbone from behind as he speaks, giving me goosebumps and making me gasp softly.

“Or do you prefer it rough?” he mumbles deep into my ear before he unexpectedly wraps his upper arm around my neck and twists my arm behind my back with his other hand, completely dominating me.

I gasp again, and my heart beats so hard against my chest that he must feel it pounding. Then there’s his steely body, which he presses against my back. This captivates me, so I can’t say anything, think, or act. I am entirely at his mercy; I wouldn’t know this is a negative feeling right now. Unfortunately !

“I like it rough.” Just as he finishes the sentence, Ezra pushes his knee between my thighs from behind and presses it against my crotch.

Another gasp, only hoarse, because of his muscular upper arm around my neck, leaves my lips, and the throbbing between my legs intensifies. My fingers automatically claw into his skin. I don’t know exactly why yet. To get rid of him or to find my footing?

“Maybe a little dirtier sometimes, so you work up a good sweat,” his smoky voice whispers into my ear, and I feel his soft lips against mine.

Shutting my eyes briefly, I realize I like his closeness far too much, more than I should. I can’t do this; it echoes through my head again, and I open my eyes. When Kelly’s gaze meets mine, everything becomes too much for me.

I wriggle in his grip to free myself.

“Let go of me!” I hiss at him over my shoulder, and instantly, Ezra lets go of me and keeps his distance.

Without thinking or saying anything, I storm off the mats, across the hall, and up the stairs to the changing rooms. I have to get out of here!

Too many thoughts flood my mind and almost drown me. But one is clear: I have to stay away from Ezra!

I can’t go on like this because I’m acting like a teenager when I’m a grown woman. A mother and wife, not this constantly embarrassed thing . I’m pining over him when nothing has even happened between us. Thank goodness!

That’s over now!

No more reprehensible thoughts.

No more flirting.

No more of all this!

After getting changed in a rush and putting my wedding ring back on, I’m just about to leave the changing room when Ezra enters unexpectedly, causing me to freeze. My hand tightens around the strap of the bag resting on my shoulder.

Ezra looks at me with a tilted head. His expression is serious and unfathomable; this time, he has spared himself his typical smile.

As he slowly moves, I step back and shake my head firmly.

“Don’t!” I use my voice to stop him from coming any closer.

He pauses briefly and looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed. Ezra seems to think for a moment, but then he moves closer to me again.

“Ezra, you can’t do that! I’m married,” I remind him again and try to talk some sense into him because I can see it in his expression. He wants to do something we will both regret.

“I know,” he replies, just as he did the other day in the garden shed, and continues to stare at me like a wolf at its prey.

I keep backing away from him, walking backward, while he continues to come toward me, gradually catching up with me. His expression remains a mystery to me, as do his thoughts. I can’t read anything from his eyes.

I shake my head slightly, but the lump in my throat that forms as I bump my back against one of the lockers prevents me from verbally stopping him from getting any closer to me.

He steps close to me, leans down toward me, puts one hand on my cheek, the other slides down my neck, and his eyes darken.

“Ezra,” I breathe, but his soft lips collide with mine, and I freeze.

A thousand and one thoughts run through my head until his tongue suddenly nudges against my lips and asks for entrance—stopping my thoughts from spiraling out of control. Everything is completely silent. Almost peaceful. It’s just him and me. His lips are on mine. His thumb is tenderly stroking my cheek, and his rough fingers on the back of my neck, still holding me captive.

It’s all a contradiction, just like us. This can’t happen , but the thought keeps getting quieter and quieter in my mind. His kisses feel too good. It feels too good to finally allow his closeness. To finally taste him. To finally feel those goddamn lips on mine.

Ezra presses my whole body against the locker in my back and enters my mouth with his tongue. Yet, there’s a boundary we can’t ignore because we’ve already gone way too far. And yet, I want nothing more right now than for Ezra to lift me onto his hips. I want to wrap my legs and arms around his body and him to fuck me here and now against the locker. God !

“Stop!” I gasp, releasing myself from his lips. I can’t do this!

Breathing heavily, Ezra pauses and looks deep into my eyes. His unique, beautiful golden eyes captivate me again, but I must be strong now. Be sensible.

“I want you, Beauty!” he growls in his sexy voice against my swollen lips and plants another breathy kiss on me. Why would you say that?

His words hit me like a freight train and tear me apart, because that’s all I ever wanted. To be the center of a man’s primal needs, yet, once again, reason prevails. Once again, I do precisely what is demanded of me and not what I actually want. So I lay my hand on his chest and push him slightly away. His lips leave mine, and I immediately feel utterly empty after our mouths have parted.

“I can’t do this,” I whisper, closing my eyelids and letting my forehead sink against his chest to breathe his familiar scent one last time and memorize it.

“You can’t, or you won’t?” Ezra asks me, and I can hear the disappointed undertone.

I shake my head slightly because I don’t want to say the following words, but I must.

“Please let me go now and please… leave me alone from now on…”

I still have my eyes closed because I can’t look at him after I’ve said those words. They hurt me because that’s not what I want. Even though Ezra and I hardly know each other, we’ve barely spoken to each other. I feel… alive when I’m with him. Yes, that word is pretty accurate because Ezra… sees me. Even with all my feelings and the baggage I carry, he wants me . He is interested in me . He really sees me .

Nevertheless, I must end this at this point. We’ve already gone too far. We can’t go on like this. I have already strayed from the right path—and now I have to find my way back to my life and family before I lose myself in the gloomy forest of my unfulfilled desire.

“Look at me,” he demands, yet his voice remains gentle, not harsh or bossy like I’m used to from Thomas.

My eyelids open slowly, and I look at him. His expression is stern, his lips are drawn into a thin line, and his gaze is focused intently on me.

“Repeat that when you look me in the eye, and I’ll accept it. If that’s what you really want.”

His words echo inside me and send me into a frenzy. Because I don’t want to repeat those terrible words, the words that will banish him from my life forever, and yet I know I have no choice but to do just that.

I breathe deeply through my nose to gather strength and say the all-encompassing words.

“Ezra, please…”

But the door opens behind us before I can finish the sentence that would have ended everything.

“Cora?” I hear Kelly’s voice.

My eyes widen because it’s obvious what happened, and I can’t talk my way out of it even if I wanted to. My only advantage is that we’re in the second row of lockers, so she can’t spot us immediately from the door. She won’t be able to see us until she takes a few more steps.

Ezra casts a glance over his shoulder, then looks at me again.

“I wish you all the best, Mrs. Shepherd,” he whispers, breaking my heart.

I want to stop and ask him to stay with me, but I can’t. He knows it, and I know it. He turns away from me and exits the changing room through a second door leading to the toilets. Then, he goes through another door back into the corridor. With my heart pounding, I stand rooted to the spot, not knowing what to say or think. My thoughts are all swirling around, and I can’t grasp any of them.

“Cora, is everything okay?” Kelly comes up to me and looks at me with her blue eyes, concerned.

No, nothing is okay…