CHAPTER THREE

KAY

The next days were very quiet and peaceful.

Rain made an effort to respect my repeated request not to chitchat with me, but with each passing hour, it seemed more absurd. There were moments when I wanted to say something but found myself holding back, which was just strange and uncomfortable.

What I did notice was that the half-hour of cuddling I promised him sometimes mysteriously stretched longer, and I wasn't in a rush to tell him to stop. Maybe I should have. But honestly, I liked the quiet escape I experienced in his arms, it was addictive.

Rain usually lay next to me—I was on my back staring at the ceiling, and his lips often landed on my glands, kissing it even after we finished having sex. His obsession with it was quite unusual, but I didn't protest because something in me demanded to feel his lips there.

This afternoon I went for a swim. As I was leaving, I saw Rain sitting on the terrace with a laptop, obviously working on something. He gave me a shy smile, which I ignored. I headed to the beach and entered the cool water. I've always liked physical activity—I jogged a lot and loved swimming—but since I got pregnant and started experiencing those painful cramps, I've limited myself to swimming a few times a week. The cool water gave me a sense of freedom, another kind of escape I indulged in from time to time.

When I finished, I headed back home and from a distance, I spotted Rain talking to Marco.

There was no logic in this, but I slowed down and hid behind the bushes to listen to what they were talking about.

Rain was saying, "…I told Nate he should pay a designer for those icons instead of buying stock ones. I went through a bunch and didn't find any good ones. He doesn't want to be bothered with such details—he's got the company to run, but still has the freelancer mindset, trying to control everything himself, and also rather use free stock icons than have them customized. I really think he needs a designer to handle these extra things."

I saw Marco nodding in understanding.

"I get Nathaniel because I have a similar issue. I'm always meddling with my managers and looking over their shoulders, which is stupid because I know these people and should trust them. Maybe just try finding a designer yourself who can do these extra tasks at a reasonable price and suggest him to your cousin. Sometimes it's easier to agree to something when it's already done rather than taking the initiative."

Since the conversation wasn't about me, as I initially suspected, I decided to step out from behind the bushes and pass by them, crossing the terrace.

Rain's eyes lifted to me, and I noticed a subtle but visible change—he was happy to see me. His eyes brightened slightly, and a small smile appeared on his lips as if he wanted to say something but remembered we weren't talking.

"Hey Kay," Marco said. "How's the water? Cold? I was thinking about going swimming today, but I have a date with Jamie tonight."

"Errr… the water it's a bit chilly. How's Jamie doing, anyway? Haven't seen him in a while," I asked rather stiffly.

As I spoke, I realized why I hadn't seen him. Marco didn't invite Jamie because of his cheerful and upbeat personality; in Marco's mind, he probably didn't fit with my gloomy company.

I noticed a hint of embarrassment and shame on his face. He spread his hands and mumbled, "You know, now that I live here with Adam and you, it's a longer drive for Jamie. I didn't want to bother him because he's really busy. He's working at the new agency," Marco explained awkwardly.

I sighed and walked past him, cutting off the conversation to save him from more explanations. We all knew the truth. My mourning had changed the course of many events in my family.

"Okay, say hi to him for me."

Followed by Rain and Marco's gazes, I went inside. Yeah… that was another thing weighing on my conscience. This house belonged to Adam. The house Maurice and I had lived in before was now rented out. Marco moved here to help Adam take care of me. Both of them had sort of put their lives on hold, dedicating their time and attention to me.

Marco had met Jamie a few months ago, but didn't have a chance to develop that relationship because of everything that happened. Adam was single, and he, too, dedicated himself entirely to my care. He made no attempt to meet anyone, and his social life was on hiatus.

My brothers sacrificed so much to support me during this period of mourning. Even bringing Rain here was because of their concern for me. I felt immense gratitude—I couldn't wish for better brothers.

But this realization made me feel even more guilty.

Soon after, Rain brought me a meal, which I ate in silence. He stood on the balcony and looked at the surface of the lake, which he seemed to enjoy.

I set the tray aside and picked up my tablet, working on finishing a sketch for an elegant house with large windows that my boss had commissioned a few days ago. I worked part-time at an architectural agency, drawing sketches and floor plans of buildings, as well as creating artistic visualizations. I also did 3D visualizations.

After a while, Rain returned to the room, ready to collect the tray, but hesitated as he walked past the bed. I watched him from under slightly lowered eyelids, taking in his tall, athletic build, almost completely free of body fat. Even in a t-shirt, his toned stomach was clearly visible, like it had been carved by a sculptor. When he was naked, he looked like an incredibly impressive example of young male beauty, with broad shoulders, a well-defined chest, and narrow hips. Watching him was definitely a pleasure, though I tried not to do it too obviously so he wouldn't get any funny ideas.

Rain rubbed his chin, I could see he was struggling with something before he finally spoke, "I hope it's not too much to ask, but could you show me that sketch? I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and it looked really great."

Our gazes met. Rain's energy emanated natural curiosity, it wasn't any game to purposefully drag me into conversation. Without a word, I turned the tablet toward him. Rain leaned in slightly and began studying the drawing.

It was a good moment for me to observe his face up close. Those annoying, impossibly long eyelashes of his! I had once seen a photo of his omega dad that Adam showed me. Rain inherited that adorable curve on his upper lip, giving his face such a sweet look. I kind of zoned out, staring at his soft, plump lips, what if—

Suddenly, he looked at me and our eyes locked. We rarely stared at each other from such a close distance, and I felt an unwanted blush creep across my cheeks.

"You draw beautifully, you have great skill. The lines are so light and artistic. You really have talent."

"Thanks," I said quietly, and quickly took the tablet back. I didn't want him to dwell on the topic.

Rain straightened up, still hesitating. He bit his plump lip as if wanting to say something else but struggled with himself. I had a very pleasant picture in my mind's eye of those full lips engulfing my dick, he could do such a good job with it!

And then suddenly, I said it, shocking even myself.

"I overheard that you need some icons. If you want, I can draw them for you."

Unbelievable, I offered it myself! Something that would require more interaction with him than I was ready for, yet the words left my mouth.

His eyes lit up with joy. Why did seeing it give me such a pleasant thrill?

"Really? You'd do that for me? That would be amazing because the icons I found on the stock sites are terrible and don't fit the vibe of the app we're working on at all."

Our gazes were still connected, as I nodded.

"Send me the icons you found and some interface visualizations for the app, so I have a reference point."

"Of course! I'll do it right away!"

Rain left the room briskly and returned a moment later with his laptop in hand. He sat next to me and quickly sent the icons to my email.

"And here's a visualization of our app. We need some functional icons and a few specific ones just for the app. These are the ones I found on the stock sites, but they all seem to be of different styles. I couldn't find a single set from one designer that included all the icons we needed."

"Okay," I said quietly, and caught myself prolonging the moment of studying the graphic he showed me, just to be in his proximity a bit longer. He smelled so good, like soap and fresh sea breeze. Why did I want to lean in and sniff his thick, dark auburn hair?

"I have a rough idea of how it should look. I'll start sketching something today and show you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Kay. I really appreciate it. I know that—" he hesitated, "this might not be something you want to do right now, but—"

"It's no big deal," I muttered, feeling a rising wave of irritation. I didn't want him to dig into my reasons. Probably because I had no explanation for why I offered. "It's just a few icons, and I'm almost done with my project anyway. My boss won't send me the next one until the day after tomorrow, so I have some free time."

Rain nodded, his eyes scanning my face. He leaned in slightly, and for a moment, I felt like he wanted to kiss my cheek. His warm breath fanned my skin, and everything froze for a few seconds as his lips came closer and closer, stopping just a hair from my cheek. I closed my eyes, waiting for it, wanting it, but he backed away! How disappointing. He just cleared his throat and smiled gently.

"Alrighty, I'll wait."

I was mad at myself for agreeing to do it, but a part of me wanted to show that I wasn't just a total jerk—and that's all I'd shown him so far.

When he came two hours later, as my wave began, his behavior was even different and more tender. He made love to me gently, for a long time, with slow, long thrusts—allowing me to forget in that wonderful way that reminded me of pink and peach colors. I was floating on light bubbles of strawberry champagne, thinking of nothing but pleasure and bliss in which I would immerse myself.

At one point, just before an extremely powerful orgasm, I realized that my hands had lifted for a split second and grasped his shoulders; of course, I quickly corrected the mistake and let them fall back to the sheets, but this (and the icon thing) was the first crack in the wall I had built around myself. And it scared me.

Was I really forgetting so quickly how I felt on the first day we met—all the hate and reservations? Maybe I was truly an ungrateful bitch who never loved Maurice deeply enough to keep myself from succumbing to another man's charm.

Or perhaps something else was at play here? Something I had pushed aside since the moment Rain first touched me.

I desperately hoped it would be something—anything—other than my own weakness and foolish longing, which I dreaded, slowly rising deep down inside me: the desire to be loved again.

RAIN

The next day, when I came to see Kay right before his wave, which usually happened around midday, he was holding a tablet on his lap. My gaze briefly flicked to the side of his nest, noticing how deformed and messy it seemed—there was no improvement in this area.

Seeing me, he turned the tablet toward me and said, "I made two sets of icons to choose from. See which one fits better."

Excited, I sat down next to him, already sensing the sweet vanilla smell of his impending wave in the air, but I managed to focused on the screen.

"Oh, wow. This first set is amazing! The second one is great too, although a bit darker. The first one is perfect though, but maybe Nathaniel should see both of them and choose for himself," I said, taking the tablet in my hands. Kay watched me with his head slightly tilted.

"So, can I send both sets to my boss?"

"Sure, that's the point."

There was a brief silence as I attached the icons to an email. Then I looked up and noticed a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Thanks, Kay, you're a lifesaver. How much do you want for this?"

Kay waved his hand dismissively. "I didn't do it for money. I have enough money. That's not why I work."

Knowing it would irritate him, I didn't ask why he did it, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I put the laptop down and eyed him. Kay looked down, blushing.

"I'm truly grateful," I whispered, slowly leaning in. He lifted his head again and didn't pull away. For a brief moment, our lips were close, but at the last second, I turned my face slightly to the side and kissed his cheek, then let my mouth slide down to his neck.

His sigh was sweet and soft, almost as if he were relieved that I had finally found this place. I crawled onto the bed, lay on top of him as I liked, and my lips found his gland. Kay closed his eyes and surrendered to my caresses.

Our strange bond worked perfectly, I could feel that he preferred it when we did it rather slowly or at a medium pace, I had the impression that faster and harder fucking overwhelmed him a bit, so I did it exactly as he wanted, thrusting in his tight passage and giving him as many orgasms as he needed.

One issue, however, remained unresolved: the matter of his nest. Despite my earlier opinion that Kay should see a therapist, I just couldn't gather the courage to bring it up. Every time I tried to mention it, I was overcome with anxiety.

I even started to like the idea of… ignoring it completely, but before that, I just had to consult with another person who knew quite a bit about nesting issues.

***

The next day, I went to the beach to sit on everyone's favorite fallen log and called my dad. Where else could I go but to him? I regarded him as the wisest omega I had ever met, and I trusted his judgment completely. I knew one crucial thing: no matter what my dad said, he would never steer me in a direction that would hurt me in the long run. He always had my best interests at heart, even if it meant telling me some harsh truths. I could count on his honesty and ability to see the big picture.

"Hey, sweetie. It's so good to hear from you. I was thinking about you today."

"Hey, Dad. I've been meaning to call earlier, but somehow it just didn't happen."

A brief pause. "What's going on, son? Something bothering you?"

"Well, it's hard to say. It's about Kay."

"Yes?"

"It's something society forbids us from discussing with omegas."

"So, the nest. Does Kay have a problem?"

I felt relieved that I didn't have to say it out loud. My dad always figured things out best.

"Yeah, he's in mourning, and his nest is practically nonexistent. When I accidentally damaged part of it, he said, 'Fuck the nest', and then kicked the other part. I've never seen anything like it. Marco and Adam, being betas, have even less space to talk to him about it. They suggested I convince him to see an omega therapist. But I just can't bring myself to say it!"

Another pause.

"I know it feels strange. It's a very delicate matter, and it requires a lot of intuition and sensitivity from an alpha to start that conversation."

"Father once said you didn't build nests when you first met."

"That's right. You know my past and how I couldn't open up because of all the trauma. Your father never pressured me, never suggested a therapist. It healed on its own when I felt safe and loved."

"But you did see a therapist. Didn't you talk about it?"

"No, he never imposed nest topics on me, and I didn't want to bring it up. Even if occasional mentions came up, they weren't about healing my nesting problem. We focused on other issues surrounding my fears."

Was I understanding him correctly?

"Wait! So, in your opinion, a special therapist who deals with pregnant omegas and nesting issues isn't necessary?"

Dad sighed. "Honey, every case is different. But Kay isn't the first omega to be widowed. People recover from this on their own, as things often settle themselves with a new partner. Nature is powerful, like a river that shapes its own banks. There's something about nesting that just doesn't respond well to therapy. It's not just another classic psychological issue, like trauma or anxiety. It's deeper and seems to have a bit of a mind of its own."

I was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. Honestly, I expected him to give me advice on how to approach the subject, not just to rely on time.

"So the lack of nesting can't be repaired by a therapist?"

"Honey, it's my private opinion, but I just don't think so. It's a very elusive and subtle thing, closely related to the nature of the omega. And since nesting comes from our alien heritage, it's not well-researched by science. Maturing, finding love and balance in life seem to have the most impact on this."

Then I remembered that Adam had vaguely mentioned something similar, and also suggested that we should leave it to Nature.

And then Dad shocked me with his next question: "Do you want him to be your partner, Rain?"

Wow, it hit me—a delicate topic that I had been going around in circles about for the past few days. I felt almost disoriented, as if I wasn't ready to answer, or maybe I was? Dad was the only person who would never make fun of me for talking about strange things that had happened.

"I can feel you are ready for a new relationship; it's been a year since Brian." As he said it, I realized that he was right. I was over Brian. The thought of being with a new person didn't seem so unsettling anymore.

There was also something else. Suddenly, I was tempted to say it out loud, if only to test how it would sound.

"You know, something happened the first time we slept together. I try not to think about it too much, I push it away as pure fantasy, but something just bugs me."

"What happened?"

"Me and him, during our first time, we simultaneously—"

"Okay. I get it. Do you suspect that your level of mateship is high?"

Funny, even Dad wasn't eager to use the actual word. Tiptoeing around the subject was, I guess, healthy, so as not to raise hopes too much because there could be different factors at play.

"I have no idea, Dad, I really don't know what to think. For now, I blame it on the fact that he has this weird quasi-heat associated with pregnancy. I'm on suppressants, the strong ones that can mess up a lot of things. The leaflet says it even largely blocks the symptoms of First Touch, but makes no mention of how it works with First Orgasm. So I'm confused about what happened, how to interpret it. And I'm scared to even have hopebecause it would be too wonderful, Dad. It would fix everything, like magic."

"But do you still carry that hope, despite the fear?"

"I do… But magic just doesn't happen."

"It happened for me."

The silence was kinda deep, and I could only count my breaths, really unsure what to say. Finally, I croaked out, "There's more. I seem to know what he feels."

"Like empathy, or even telepathy?"

"Something like that."

Now there was silence on his side, his breathing quickened, though. Did he get some idea what it could be, but didn't want to pressure me into accepting it could be real? I guess he did because he changed the subject quickly,

"Are you strongly attracted to him?"

I shrugged. "Who wouldn't be? You've seen his picture. Perhaps only you are prettier than him!"

Dad laughed out loud. "Ah, always the gentleman, full of kind compliments for his old man. You're truly sweet, but back to the topic. Am I right in sensing that you want your relationship with Kay to be more than just attraction caused by pregnancy pheromones or his looks?"

I was silent for a moment, afraid to admit it out loud. "These are probably silly hopes. So I think I'd rather wait and see how it all unfolds. I really don't know him, which is why I'm either delusional with these fantasies or there's something else going on here."

"Honey, I'm not suggesting you're deluding yourself! It was a probing question, as I know you were always very cautious about entering into relationships with omegas. You needed to get to know them better to make sure you were a match. But this is different, right? You feel some… pulling?"

"You may call it pulling. I have no idea what's causing this strange infatuation."

Another moment of silence passed between us before I heard a muffled sound in the background. My dad sighed and said, "Okay, son, unfortunately, I have to go. Uncle Timothy just pulled into the driveway. I hope this nesting problem resolves itself. If you do have a really high mateship, these things tend to work themselves out anyway. Please keep me updated on your situation, okay?"

"I will, Dad, take care."

"Love you, bye!"

When he ended the call, I stared blankly at the lake. My head felt like a helium-filled balloon; I was this close to letting out a high-pitched sound of frustration.

I was probably complicating things unnecessarily; I needed to calm down, go with the flow, and stop my natural tendency to overthink. Easier said than done.