CHAPTER 88 How Could You?

CHAPTER 88

How Could You?

Brownie

Brownie walked straight into the busy stable, past the already occupied stalls, and into a free spot at the back. Donna followed her. The stable hand had recognized them and given Donna a wide birth, so Brownie had some privacy when she turned and threw her arms around her horse’s neck and hugged her tightly.

“Donna.”

The mare snorted, having been privy to the emotions running through her bonded half giantess the entire conversation.

“He’s even more handsome in folk form,” Brownie complained, frowning at the image of Rufus with his shoulder-length hair swept back, and the same piercing golden eyes. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and draw a finger along the line of his strong chin and see how soft he was compared to his beast form.

Did he have chest hair?

Questions ran through her mind even as she tried to calm down. Donna had limited patience but allowed Brownie a few minutes more to hold on for dear life before the mare sniffed loudly and lipped at the bard’s hair.

“I know, I know,” Brownie said, pulling away and taking a deep breath. “But was that really his big secret? It’s not so—”

Donna whinnied and stamped a foot, looking imperious and unyielding.

“What? No! I don’t need to make him grovel. He’s literally just the leader of my fan group? What’s the problem with that? I already knew he was a fan?” Brownie took a step back and leaned against the frame of the stall. She was trying to rack her brain for anything and everything she knew about her beastman and his love of her music .

It would explain why he’d been so nice to her in the castle from day one. And stood up for her during that first dinner when she had come forward to warn Henrietta about the assassins.

Donna turned her head to stare intently at the bard with one eye, incredulous.

“Maybe you’re right … As much as I don’t see the big deal, Rufus certainly felt that it was his dark secret. The look on his face when I told him to go with Slake could have melted a dragon’s heart.” Brownie crossed her arms and tapped a finger to her chin. “But, I mean, I practically already knew ? He loves my music, knows the lyrics to every one of my songs, and I figured he was at the fan-run concert this year because he knew the lyrics to ‘Wings of Ash,’ and that was the only place I sang it. So was that really the secret? Are there more secrets? What am I missing?”

Donna almost rolled her eyes.

The horse was very good at conveying feelings and expressing herself, and for that, Brownie was thankful. A bonded companion who could outright talk was rare, but one as intelligent and fun as Donna was even more so.

“I mean, yes, he did keep it a secret. And there shouldn’t be important secrets between us …”

The mare suddenly looked away and to the left, and Brownie grew suspicious. “You already knew about Rufus, didn’t you?”

Donna shook her head like a horse would, but that feeling of unease still remained in the bond. Brownie waited patiently, sending her own gentle nudge to the mare to ask her what was on her mind.

Eventually, Donna sighed and did something she’d never done before.

She was … apologizing? It wasn’t straight remorse, but a begrudging, rueful sorry.

“I don’t understand; is this still about Rufus?” Brownie asked.

Donna hesitated, so Brownie questioned further. “It’s not about Rufus, but Rufus knows about it?”

Donna nodded, dropping her head to the ground. Brownie wasn’t sure what the mare was doing until the gem on her collar shone rainbow bright, and a bottle of Belladonna poison appeared in front of her.

It was followed by twenty other bottles of poisonous potions and antidotes.

After a second, the horse put everything back into her storage and out of sight again. She waited for Brownie to process what she’d just revealed.

A frown tugged at Brownie’s lips. “You’re saying you have a collar full of poisons? Why— Oh no. ”

The sheer audacity her horse had to look innocently up at her like what she’d just revealed wasn’t the most horrible, no good, absolutely dreadful moment of Brownie’s adult life was unbelievable. A torrent of emotions washed over Brownie as she stared, betrayed by her own bonded companion .

“You know .” Brownie bit her lip and tried to push down the rising pressure in her throat. Her eyes stung as she accused, “ You know why I don’t do this. ”

Donna made to argue, probably something along the lines of it being the mare’s own life and her own choice separate from Brownie. She had always established boundaries around her horse business, never letting their bond get too strong.

“It’s not about that, and you know that!” Brownie waved a hand at the spot where she’d revealed the bottles, even without the evidence laid out in plain view. “Donna … how could you? I’m not … I can’t .”

The mare had the grace to look sheepish, grumbling a contrite huff.

“How long has this been going on?” Brownie thought back to all of her performances after bonding with the horse all those years ago, and her stomach clenched with anger. “You took a quest at my uncle’s house the first time I brought you ?”

There hadn’t been a molten ash vane poison yet, but someone had used Belladonna on the marquess of Cavenish in Drendil during her trip to Terpenlily on the southeast coast. The entire performance had had to be rescheduled for the new marquess of Cavenish that stepped up three days later.

“And Rufus knew ?” Brownie started, then slapped a hand to her face, drawing it down. “Uncle Derek. No wonder he was so upset this morning.”

The mare chuffed a bit and stamped her foot.

Brownie argued, “At least Rufus isn’t secretly taking assassin jobs. Now I’m a suspected illegal assassin!”

The bard slid down the wall until she sat in the stall with her knees against her chest, her face in her hands. It was too much. What was she going to say to her grimalcat, Momo? She’d have to explain it somehow … But what if Momo decided she’d broken her oath? What if he took back his favor?

Brownie sat there like that for a while until Donna came up and sniffed her hair. The mare was trying to reassure her that she was overthinking things and everything would be fine … but Brownie wasn’t ready to forgive her horse.

She pushed Donna away.

“I need space.” Brownie took a deep breath, wiping any stray tears from her eyes with her shirtsleeve. “And I have to get ready for my show.”

Her horse tried to say something, but Brownie needed to calm down first. She’d need to sign in and wash up, switch to her comfortable shoes, apply glitter on her cheeks, and find her cloak. And a lyre harp tuner. And a comb. Her curls would fray with a brush, but she had some oil and a wide-toothed comb tucked away in her red decoy bag.

Brownie climbed to her feet and steadied herself. Or sturdied herself, as the case was. She left Donna without looking back.

The pair of them had more to discuss … but Brownie needed to go sing her heart out. And maybe get drunk.

Alright, she wouldn’t get drunk. But she’d think about it .

Herman’s was one of her favorite places to perform because the stage was in a corner that better carried her voice without having to use too much magic to amplify her sound. The bar was directly across the room from the stage, and Ol’ Malley the tigerkin had been a very good host for all of her shows.

He’d managed to sell out every performance and keep the crowd’s spirit lively without destroying the place. The man being a retired level forty-one Assassin made it easy for him to go around, unseen, dealing with everything neat and tidy.

“Minstrel Brownie!” Ol’ Malley greeted her with a smile when she arrived, early as per her usual. If he saw any signs of her frustration or tears, he hid it well. “Come on in. I’ll grab you a honey licorice root tea for your voice, and a full jug of water for your set.”

The tigerkin let her do some practice sound checks onstage while his staff prepared for the dinner and show. She always kept water onstage, even if she had a full waterskin. People were more patient between sets if they saw her physically pouring herself a glass of water and taking a drink. It gave her more time than if she just chugged back her waterskin; little tips and tricks that helped a bard make the most of a show.

The other tip was to keep a wooden tankard that her patrons could fill for her at the bar but would actually contain a very low alcohol content or simply more water. That let the bar split the difference of the drinks with her, and Brownie never risked drinking until she sang off-key …

She didn’t ever want to repeat the one time she’d been so drunk that her Bard title amplification magic had gone full blast, dealing sound-based damage to the audience and letting her off-key rendition of “Sally Oh Sally” be heard across the entire city of Danbrook in Drendil.

She’d never gone back to that city, and she never would.

But tonight, Brownie immersed herself in the magelight. She pulled out every song and sang twice as long and didn’t finish until Ol’ Malley almost had to carry her from the stage. The fan group she’d met with Rufus today were all there, cheering for her.

She missed her beastman. Even as she fell into bed that night, she missed him, and she hoped that things were going to turn out alright.

For both of them.