CHAPTER 53 That One Time Her Eminence Feliwyn Sat on Me

CHAPTER 53

That One Time Her Eminence Feliwyn Sat on Me

Rufus

“Let me get this straight,” King Keith said with a wry smile. “You have successfully convinced the Servalt assassins to stop attacking our civilians, you’ve discovered who was behind the Spring Ball debacle … and you’ve learned that Gerda the Bridge Troll, bane of my life, has possibly hundreds of illegal portals into other kingdoms?”

“Yes.”

The two of us had retired to the lounge room in Keith’s royal suite with a bottle of fine wine and a cheese platter to discuss my trip. The place had previously boasted a scholarly atmosphere with bare shelves, writing materials, and notebooks lying about. Now, it had flowery cup holders and a small portrait of the king and queen smiling together on the mantle of the dark stone fireplace.

I swirled the wine in my glass, trying to resist a frown as I prepared myself for the worst.

Keith asked. “But you still don’t know how the assassins crossed the border?”

“I was told to ask Master Derek of Peldeep.” I shrugged.

“And you spent how many days and nights with Minstrel Bronwynn? Because I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned her in your description of the birthday celebration or the Assassin’s Guild meeting.” Keith was trying to hide a smile, but I could see the pinch in his chin and the slight shake in his shoulders. “For someone who claims to be her biggest fan, you talked more about the grimalcat than the bard.”

“Minstrel Bronwynn is … There wasn’t any—Gods, you can just get on with it,” I ground out, dragging a paw down my face in frustration.

Keith obliged and burst into laughter. “The way you almost had a heart attack when you found out that she was Ria’s friend … I can’t believe you joined Minstrel Bronwynn on the woman’s own wagon. That was not at all what I imagined when I told you to follow her.”

“I’ll have you know I never outright laughed at you when you were struggling with your feelings about our queen,” I lied. I’d teased him incessantly, and we both knew I deserved what I had coming to me.

I wanted to sigh. Instead, I pulled out the small reading glasses I used for fine print and plopped them on my nose, glancing over the papers I was to submit one last time before handing over the pile.

Keith composed himself down to a light chuckle and accepted the copy of the contract with Guild Master Lina and a brief summary of my findings so far. “Rufus, come on. You can’t tell me you discovered nothing about the bard. You were literally with her from the time you left here until that assassin tried to unalive Duke Wyldon. She didn’t do anything suspicious? At all? ”

“She literally just traveled around happily playing music … Though she was officially investigated when her purse was wrongfully placed in the assassin’s bedroom.” I knew that it sounded bad, so I rushed to say, “But that was Jack’s doing, since he’d noticed the same thing we did and wanted cause to interrogate her.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“Minstrel Bronwynn is just a friendly bard with a love for adventure and a bonded murder horse,” I stated confidently.

A look passed over my king’s face, and Keith asked, “So … you think it’s the horse?”

“What? No! Donna is …” I stopped, seriously considering the bard’s mare. She was an intelligent beast who could run as fast as the wind, pick locks, and wandered off into the forest sometimes. Still. She was a horse .

“Donna is a more likely assassin than Minstrel Bronwynn,” I allowed.

“I was joking.” Keith shot me a look that questioned my sanity. “You’re seriously blaming the horse over your bard?”

“She’s not my—Listen, a rock is more likely to be an illegal international undercover spy than Minstrel Bronwynn. The woman is as tall as I am, recognized by half the continent, and constantly facing off against her family’s cursed encounters . She doesn’t have time to—”

“Minstrel Bronwynn is under a family curse?” Keith interrupted, leaning forward and showing newfound interest.

“Not like that,” I groaned and took a gulp of my drink.

Keith pressed. “Not like what exactly?”

“Her mother is the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. And her father is the seventh son of a seventh son,” I explained. For a second, I felt strange not knowing if Bronwynn herself was a seventh daughter since I already knew her birthday, her favorite foods, her mannerisms, how she took her tea, and her shoe size … I dragged myself back to the conversation at hand. “And she has three encounters on every trip from inheriting their [Child of Seven] skill.”

“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never met someone so tied up in the rules of magical engagement.” Keith sipped his drink. “Have you told her you love her yet?”

“What? No! ” The question came out of nowhere, startling me.

“And she hasn’t figured it out?” my king pressed, obviously enjoying my suffering.

I put down my glass and glared at my friend. “What is there to figure out? I love her music . You know that.”

“Weren’t you the one who told me honesty is the best foundation for a relationship?” Keith pointed out, repeating something I’d told him over and over again. “If I recall, you told me that beastfolk just get married when they know.”

My magnanimous ruler had a bad habit of not sharing his thoughts until he was sure of them … which meant he often just went quiet and didn’t tell his wife what he was thinking until prodded. But he was trying to build better habits, and it was just the way things went with relationships: you worked at them every day, or you stopped having a relationship.

“Need I remind you that I’m undercover , and following her around the continent on your orders?” I countered, the weight of my situation heavy on my mind. I felt like that one time Her Eminence Feliwyn sat on me, “I don’t think now is a great time to tell her how I feel, if I felt that way. Which I don’t. I like her, sure, but I love her music .”

“Technically, you’re following her around on my wife’s orders,” Keith countered.

“We’re heading out again tomorrow, so I’ve plenty of time to figure it out while we travel.” I ignored his last comment. “Who knows, maybe Gerda will portal us to Peldeep so I can get this over and done with faster.”

“Speaking of Gerda.” Keith glanced down at the last page in the pile of pages I’d handed the man.

“Ah yes,” I stood up, taking off my tiny glasses, rubbing them clean, then slipping them back into their case. I moved them into my spatial ring instead of my pocket, where I’d broken many a pair of spectacles before. I said, “ She’ll need another audit. I’ll leave you to it.”

“What—”

“We’re leaving early tomorrow and I’ve got to pack.” I ran for the door, hiding a grin. I had no idea what time we were actually leaving.

The king cursed aloud behind me. It was the little things, such as crushing your boss with menial tasks and paperwork, that made life worth living.

That and music, of course .

Speaking of which, I should send a cast to the fan club notifying them that Minstrel Bronwynn’s next public performance in Peldeep was on schedule. It had been a while since I’d seen Ross or Frida, and it would be nice to catch a few drinks before the show.

I took my task as leader of Bronwynn’s fan club very seriously, and everyone on the list was going to get a message on their crystal shard.

There was going to be a lot to tell the news group, though I wouldn’t reveal my identity under the pain of death …

I didn’t want to get eaten alive by my fellow fans.

Figuratively or literally.