CHAPTER 2 It’s Better Than Eating Babies

CHAPTER 2

It’s Better Than Eating Babies

Brownie

“Could you, Brownie?” the queen of the Dark Enchanted Forest pleaded, her huge brown eyes twinkling with evil intent. “Please?”

“Minstrel Bronwynn Lyriel,” the king of the Dark Enchanted Forest interrupted, snaking an arm around his wife’s shoulders and ordering—nay, begging—“Now is not the time.”

“Well,” Brownie began, glancing at her friend. “It’s actually perfect—”

“Ria, tell your friend you’ve changed your mind,” King Keith leaned down and breathed seductively into the queen’s ear.

“But I really want to hear it!” Henrietta pouted up at him. “Just this once? As a wedding present?”

There was a forced pause as he held off as long as he could … but eventually, the Dark Lord gave in to the whims of his adorable wife. His voice strained against an inner pain that stemmed from embarrassment and uncertainty. “Alright.”

Brownie could imagine, since the only other song written about King Keith was anything but flattering . Eating babies wasn’t the kind of thing you wanted sung about you at your wedding.

“As you will, Your Viciousnesses,”

Henrietta snorted quietly at the address.

Brownie’s fingers lightly plucked a melody that she’d spent the better part of a week perfecting. Her new lyre harp, Danielle, had been given to her from a dragon’s hoard . King Keith had awarded it to her for her part in escaping slave traders with his wife.

She regretted bashing the kidnapper over the head with Suzette, as it’d cost her a lifelong friend. Brownie missed that lyre harp; her cousins in Peldeep had gifted Suzette to her for her tenth birthday, and she’d been playing it for thirteen years now .

Still! She had a new instrument. And the fact that it rarely went out of tune and fit perfectly against the palm of her large hands made the sting of losing sweet Suzette slightly more bearable.

Brownie opened her character sheet. She wanted to make this song a sensation .

Name: Bronwynn Lyriel Occupation: Bard Level: 31 Experience Points: 6360/7750 Hit Points: 221/221 Mana Points: 150/238 Bonded Companion: Belladonna Windrunner Condition: Grimalcat Promise Class: Minstrel Titles: [Half Giantess], [Rogue], [Bard], [Minstrel] Attributes: Strength: 19 (+5 Race Stat) Intelligence: 17 Dexterity: 18 Perception: 17 Constitution: 15 Charisma: 21 Skills: Child of Seven: 2 Siren Song: 6 Knife Play: 5 Inspiration: 2 Perks: Sturdy, Hidden Dagger, Liar’s Palace, Piercing Wave, Strength of Sound, Idol, Inspire .

She activated her bardic skill [Siren Song] to help with this particular performance, allocating the twenty-five mana needed to keep it going for the five minutes.

[ Siren Song affects targets equal to or lesser than Level 31. Targets affected 31 x 6 = 186. 46 targets selected. For three times the duration of the song, all targets who hear the song gain a +1 modifier to Intelligence and must fight a Perception 21 to break free of the music.]

The notes she plucked were light and whimsical, with a rich cadence that crept through the wedding crowd, drawing attention.

There are many tales in time that tell

Of battles fought between

Heroines of light and villains’ evil schemes!

And all would know the Dark Lord

In his castle to the north

Had long been making monsters

To fill in his Dark Horde.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

The king and queen used cruelty,

To raise their princess right.

A sword in hand, to shield the land

From the encroaching night.

They abandoned her to darkness

When they sent her off alone

To battle beasts and monsters there

Who called the Forest home.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

But in the Dark Enchanted Forest,

She found love among the trees,

Where dire wolves howl at the moon

And a troll might offer a cup of tea.

There’s laughter in the beastfolk keep,

There’s comfort in the selkie song.

And the battle that she fought fo r

Was the Dark Lord’s Heart she won.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

She stormed into the castle

With some bimbleberry scones.

Her blade had never left its sheath

Against the golem stone.

The lizardkin had lunch with her and

Brought her to their Lord

The inner sanctum of his power

To a duel magic and sword.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

But lo His Royal Viciousness

Confused at what he found,

A princess who was sent to him

To die or take his throne.

Instead he took her in and offered her a brand-new start

To live the life she longed for and

To follow her own heart.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

But in the Dark Enchanted Forest,

She found love among the trees,

Where dire wolves howl at the moon

And a troll might offer a cup of tea.

There’s laughter in the beastfolk keep,

There’s comfort in the selkie song.

And the battle that she fought for

Was the Dark Lord’s Heart she won.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

The princess locked inside her tower

Found family and friend.

The Dark Lord found a treasur e

He would hold until the end.

She went to battle life and death

And bring her people peace,

But now she reigns beside the villain

As the Dark Lord’s Dark Lady.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh …

But in the Dark Enchanted Forest,

She found love among the trees,

Where dire wolves howl at the moon

And a troll might offer a cup of tea.

There’s laughter in the beastfolk keep,

There’s comfort in the selkie song.

And the battle that she fought for was

The Dark Lord’s Heart she won.

There was silence from the crowd when she finished. Henrietta wiped a tear from her eye, and King Keith blushed all the way up to his pointed ear tips. Even his horn would’ve turned crimson if it could.

“Well?” Brownie asked, a touch nervous since it was her first time actually singing that particular song in front of an audience.

Hey, she could be fabulous and secretly anxious at the same time. She never knew if this time she might utterly fail at writing an engaging song. And on the day of her best friend’s wedding.

Who’d told Henrietta to go off and marry the Dark Lord, anyway?

Her fears were unfounded, as Henrietta burst into applause and the crowd followed suite. Brownie even caught a nod from King Keith as he composed himself. She read his lips as he mumbled under his breath, “I guess it’s better than eating babies …”

As far as compliments went, Brownie would take it!