CHAPTER 19 Wait Until We Get Kidnapped

CHAPTER 19

Wait Until We Get Kidnapped

Rufus

I started the day with a splash in the ice baths.

I’d woken up early and ready. Too ready. An ice bath was in order. The feeling of cold on my skin, not covered in a golden coat, was exhilarating. It cleared my mind and let me get back to planning the rest of our trip.

We would depart Thistlecrick this morning, grab lunch or dinner at Kith Bog—depending on where the village was today—and then be on the road again. Donna was a very agile and speedy horse, so we might even reach the border tonight.

I activated my birth title Beastfolk and changed back into my normal self.

Technically, my hairless folk form, all the way to my giant beast form, was all my “normal self,” but I’d been living in my semitransformed state for so long, it felt the most natural. Many beastfolk picked one look and stuck with it.

Bronwynn was waiting for me at breakfast, her usual chipper expression sleepy and wan.

“Morning,” she said, yawning and sinking into her steaming cup of tea. My nose detected Lady Green leaves, extra caffeinated.

“Morning,” I returned, pouring myself a cup from a teapot at the table. We’d been given a private room for breakfast. Everything was set up on a spinning wooden circle in the middle of a round table designed for floor seating. I liked sitting on the floor. I liked the tea. And I liked the company.

Stop it, tail.

Two days journeying with my favorite bard wasn’t good for my heart. Seeing her sleepy eyed and slightly rumpled wasn’t helping either.

“Are we ready to head out after breakfast?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yep, ready to go whenever. ”

The unigoat yogurt parfait with bimbleberries and markle berry spread tasted delightful, and I happily ate a floofpoof sausage baked in flaky pastry. There was also a fruit and vegetable platter that caught my eye. I was done quickly, while Bronwynn still had a full plate and was nursing her mug.

Derilla Vane wouldn’t be awake for some hours, so I’d bid our host goodbye before going to bed. That meant I could sit around watching my idol slowly eat her breakfast without seeming weird. It wasn’t weird.

I refilled my cup to have something to hold.

She didn’t seem to mind the company, silent as it was, and we eventually headed up.

Donna looked majestic , with a lovingly brushed coat and braided flowers in her hair. She butted her head against my hand when I reached out to rub her nose—and almost bit off the hand when she realized there were no treats waiting for her.

I dodged and placed my fingers under her chin, giving it a scratch.

“Here you are,” I said, bringing up my other hand, which did hold some apples I’d purloined at breakfast. I ran my hands over her coat and pet her to my heart’s content. “You’re beautiful.”

“That she is,” a voice said from the wagon seat. Bronwynn was ready, reins in hand. “Nice dodge, by the way.”

“You don’t become commander general of the Dark Lord’s army without recognizing when someone wants to bite you.” I smiled at the horse and gave her one last pat before joining the minstrel on the passenger side.

Bronwynn nodded. “Just be careful—she’s going easy on you.”

I raised an eyebrow and got comfortable. My bags were already stored in my spatial ring. It would be nice to leave the village; my notification tab was getting overwhelmed again, and I didn’t have the want or care to check the logs.

Donna whinnied and stamped one foot, then we were off.

“And I’ve told you that you can’t go around biting my passengers,” Bronwynn mused. “Wait until we get kidnapped or someone tries to steal the wagon.”

The horse didn’t sigh dramatically because Donna was a horse … but she did do the horse equivalent and huffed.

“Do you expect those things to happen to us?” I felt bad cutting in between a woman and her horse, but I wanted to know.

“It’s the usual way of things.” The minstrel shrugged. “I’m a child of seven, and a traveling bard.”

I just stared at her.

“My parents were both seven of seven, and I inherited their passive skill [Child of Seven]; it’s the skill responsible for creating encounters.” She waved up and down at herself. “ And I’m a bard, who travels every day . Ever since I came of age, I’ve had to pass three trials to get anywhere . Luckily, a kung fu lizardkin burst out of a waterfall at me yesterday, and I’m counting that. ”

“And the stoneskin wombat?” I asked, intrigued.

She smiled. “Two down, one to go. I should prepare!”

Bronwynn dropped the reins and let Donna drive herself—or should I say, the minstrel gave up the appearance of driving. Donna seemed perfectly capable of getting wherever we needed to go, and we all knew it. Meanwhile, the bard took off her red bag and placed it beside her, then she slung her instrument forward on its shoulder strap, ready to play.

The beautiful lyre harp strummed a perfect note under the skilled minstrel’s fingers. Bronwynn and I both appreciated the sound. She sang the opening to one of her more popular pieces, “One More Song to Go”:

The leaves are changing color and

The river’s running cold

And there’s hearth that’s waiting for me.

Somewhere down this road

There’s rhythm in my footsteps

And there’s music in my soul

And I’ve at least, one more song to go.

“I miss Suzette every day,” she confessed. I’d been there at the breakfast table when Henrietta and Keith presented her with the new instrument. “But Danielle has a lovely sound. And she rarely goes out of tune, which is a blessing. I still like to keep a tuning key on me at all times, though … just in case.”

“It sounds lovely,” I said, trying to hide my excitement.

“Thank you.” She smiled, and then considered. “Alright, so after a monster encounter and a powerful person seeking aid, my third encounter will probably include someone with ulterior motives, nefarious intent, or something equally unsavory. Or maybe we’ll just run into Gerda and have to answer a riddle!”

The gates of Thistlecrick were guarded by two armored naga warriors holding halberds. They waved us through, and the road outside was free of traffic. We had a short distance to go to descend through the winding path to the Great Road.

“I’ve never crossed Gerda’s troll bridge. I admit I’ve been portaling around the Dark Enchanted Forest more than I’ve been taking the roads,” I said. There was no way I’d make it to Bronwynn’s performances if I ran all day to the border. It was a few days by alligator-dog if I went with the army, which also didn’t work.

Luckily, Gimtak the imp had a high-level teleport skill and a love for money. I suspected he also loved the sight of me on my hands and knees crawling through an imp-size portal.

“You’ve never crossed a troll bridge?” Bronwynn asked, a touch incredulous. She plucked a light ayre on the instrument. “Even growing up in the Dark Enchanted Forest? ”

I shrugged. “I traveled with a dragon. There used to be one on the bridge up the north road, but Larry the Bridge Troll only had the one riddle.”

She stared at me expectantly.

I coughed, trying to remember it correctly.

“When I am forward,

I’m heavy, a lot.

But when I am backward,

You know I’m not.”