CHAPTER 38 A Good Plan Made in Jest Is Still a Good Plan

Keith

Keith rubbed the bridge of his nose, exasperated.

"But we're ready to fight!" Lieutenant Patina insisted. She was head border guard of Plittsmouth in Lake Loria. "We can attack from the shores and drag—"

"No," Keith cut her off. "No. I don't want to clean up drowned bodies; they're a disgusting mess."

"We could eat them." Patina smiled a shark-toothed smile. Her selkie blood let her walk on land, but her sharp grin and her smooth brown skin as soft as seal hide gave away her ancestry. "Once the bones are picked clean, I'll even deliver them to Necromancer Chloe—"

"I said no."

Telling his army the plan was very different from telling his army the plan. Obedience was expected, but some were more persistent than others for an audience. And it was very hard to send away this particular individual.

"You don't think I'm strong enough to fight on the front lines, do you?" Patina accused. "Come on, cousin, don't punish my people just because I'm leading them."

"I'm not saying you can't fight," Keith explained slowly, "I'm saying you can't drag the entire Drendil army to a watery death."

"But whyyyyy?"

Keith sighed. "Because I don't want to overthrow Drendil. That would be a nightmare … unless you want to take over their kingdom and reform the government from the ground up?" The look of abject horror on Patina's face told him how she felt about that. "Which is why the answer is no."

If he said it once, he said it a hundred times. That line worked wonderfully on his minions. He'd need to remember it the next time some fool asked him to consider world domination.

"Then what did you want us to do?" Patina asked. "Sing them to sleep?"

"No, of course not—Wait, actually yes!" Keith stood up from behind his desk and walked toward his cousin. She was actually another godchild of Her Eminence Feliwyn, but they had been raised as cousins, and they would forever be cousins, even if no blood was shared between them. "You're brilliant, Patina."

"You know I was joking, right?" She gave Keith a long-suffering look while he patted her on the shoulder.

"A good plan made in jest is still a good plan," Keith replied. "That would save me so much time and effort! I can't wait to tell Ria when she gets back."

"While we're on the subject, who is this Henrietta What's-Her-Name?" Patina squinted up at Keith, who was caught gazing wistfully out a window. "And what has she done to you?"

"You'll understand when you're older," Keith teased, redirecting his stare at his cousin. "Suffice it to say, she is strong, competent, and she is staying."

He hoped … That he was still self-doubting meant he needed another session with Rufus.

Patina scoffed. "You're barely a month older than me."

"Yes." Keith smiled. "And that means I'll forever be older and wiser than you."

"You still haven't answered my questions," Patina pointed out.

"You noticed that, did you?" Keith looked up at the clock above his office door. Right on time, harp music sounded throughout the office. "Too bad, but would you look at that? It's my break."

"I know where you have afternoon tea." Patina stalked after him as he exited his office and walked down the stone corridor. "You can't get rid of me that easily!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Patina!" Suddenly, a lyrical voice called out from the break room where a beautiful blonde woman was happily snacking away on tarts. "You're here!"

A violent shiver raced through Patina's whole body at the sound. She had just enough time for one scathing look at her king before Chloe shot out of the break room and tackled her. Patina caught the necromancer with ease but had to politely bend down so Chloe could better wrap her arms around the selkie's bicep in a hug.

Chloe glomped onto Patina and spoke a mile a minute. "I'm so happy you're here! You can't believe how bored I've been since I returned! Let's go get manicures—I know your nails need the love. You're so beautiful, darling! You should take better care of yourself!"

Patina gave Chloe a strained smile. "Please Chloe, not now. I'm trying to have words with my cousin …"

"None of that," Chloe said sternly. "It's break time, and you need one! Look at your hair! We simply have to go see Winrith for a spa day."

"But—"

"Don't worry." Chloe dragged the muscular guard off down the hallway. "I'll tell you all about the princess. I know all the gossip. You're going to love this."

Patina actually relaxed at that last bit. "You promise?"

"Every last sordid detail," Chloe assured her, ensuring Keith could hear every sibilant syllable.

"Then I'd be happy to get my nails done with you, Necromancer Chloe."

Keith was suddenly wary as Patina shot him a vicious smile over her shoulder. He might come to regret siccing Chloe on his enthusiastic cousin.

Hubert was a good raven. And Keith enjoyed connecting to him for a literal bird's-eye view of the forest. He'd [Commanded] the raven to keep an eye on Henrietta and guide her should she need it.

The Dark Enchanted Forest liked to play tricks on people sometimes, but he wasn't too concerned because Henrietta was … Well, she was Henrietta.

She could take care of herself.

What Keith was not expecting to find when he connected with Hubert during his afternoon lunch break was the absence of his wayward princess. Hubert was sitting in a tree overlooking the western bridge, with no Henrietta in sight. He sent the raven flying for a better view of the road.

Keith was just about to panic when a magical enchantment activated under the bridge, and he watched Henrietta climb up from below. The magic was very delicate and intricately put together by someone of incredible craftsmanship. It was only perceptible to Keith because he was an Arcane Sage. This must be the natural [Troll Magic] skill he'd read about.

Henrietta was smiling happily and still carrying her crate full of eggs.

"I'll see you when I get back!" she called down below the bridge.

"Have fun in Gren's Keep and tell Olen I said hello," a voice replied. "And be ready! I'll have a harder riddle for you when you come back this way."

Keith sent Hubert swooping down to alight on Henrietta's shoulders. The princess smiled at him. "Keith?"

"Hello, Ria."

"How are things back at the castle?" She carefully freed a hand, careful not to jostle the crate in her arms, and ran her fingers through his raven's feathers.

"Things are going as usual." Keith sighed, trying not to be distracted by the feeling of her touch. "Though I had some unexpected company."

Henrietta looked shocked. "Julia arrived already? Is she riding an enchanted horse?"

"No? Wait." Keith felt a headache coming on that for once had nothing to do with [Mana Burn]. "You don't mean Countess Julia of North Sumbria? She's coming here? Now?"

Henrietta nodded, "I heard it from Gerda. Julia's on her way to see Chloe."

"Oh no." Keith realized Hubert was rubbing his raven temple with a wing, mirroring Keith's own habit. He let the raven resettle itself. "And Chloe has no idea."

"We think Julia's here to propose," Henrietta exclaimed brightly. "Isn't that marvelous?!"

"Of course she is." Keith sighed. Again. "And that battle maniac chose now to do it for multiple reasons …"

"Is this going to upset our plans?" Henrietta asked.

"You have no idea." Keith shook himself and continued, "But there's no rush to come back. You're stopping by Gren's Keep after you deposit the eggs?"

"If I have time." Henrietta hesitated. "You're sure I have time?"

"Absolutely. Don't worry about a thing!" Keith used Hubert to nuzzle Henrietta affectionately. "Take as much time as you need."

"I'll still be back before St. Veralyn's Day," the princess assured him.

"As long as you're back the day after St. Veralyn's Day, that's all that matters."

She nodded. "For the war."

"For something much more important than a war." Keith poked her cheek with a wing. "It's your birthday, remember?"