CHAPTER 22 A Long-Standing War About His Buttons

Keith

Keith slaved over another golem-style automaton, this one almost three stories tall and taking up the entirety of his inner sanctum workshop. He'd managed two alligator dogs before moving back to golems.

He ignored the sudden urge to move onto making small and easy constructs. That was just his rest-deprived brain being weak.

[Warning! You have the condition Exhaustion. You require base 1x3 mana for each working.]

[You have 01:15:38 until you Pass Out from Exhaustion.]

Keith was thankful once again for his huge mana pool, which let him work to his heart's content.

The room was large and circular, and usually had a variety of global timepieces hanging from the ceiling to keep him on track of the sun, the planets, the moons, the day, the hours, the minutes, and the flow of mana in the Dark Enchanted Forest—but all of those had needed to be moved to fit his latest creation: Gerald.

Gerald was a part of Keith's newest line of automatons. Ones that fought.

His previous creations had all been designed to defend, but since Ria had almost blown up the golem he'd been working on that first day, he had designed more and more active models.

Take Gerald, for example; he had a level forty Strength. He could rip siege weapons in half with his bare hands. What Gerald lacked for in beauty or refinement, he made up for by being a giant thick-as-a-brick marshmallow man-golem thing.

Keith activated a spell to bar the inner sanctum. It was a new spell he'd created just in case any unannounced guests decided to drop in uninvited.

Henrietta was out sightseeing today, so it should be fine, but he wasn't going to take that chance.

Then he got to work animating Gerald.

[You have attempted to use the Skill: ++Construct Creation: Large.

You have a 78% chance of success with a +10% modifier from Skill: Mastery 4.]

The loading screen in his activity log took an hour before it finished. He couldn't wait until he was high-enough level that there were no more "chance of success" rates.

[You have succeeded. Please name your Automaton.]

"Gerald."

[Automaton: Gerald is now able to understand basic Commands. Please give your first command.]

"Go to the clearing outside the West Gate and wait for my next [Command]."

[Gerald has received your Command.]

Keith kept a mental note of the number of characters in his [Commands] to ensure he stayed under the limit. A hundred and forty seemed like such an arbitrary limit, but such were the rules of magic.

After the workshop was cleaned up, and his various magical paraphernalia returned to its rightful place, Keith summoned Tulith. She had letters for him.

The first was from the royal capital of Drendil.

Henri,

We have sent so many letters, and you haven't replied even once. Theimpropriety to not reply to your own mother! I have raised you since you were a child, fed you, and provided every opportunity, and you don't have the common decency to show proper respect.

You are naive Henri, and you never make the right choices. No one is going to listen to someone who isn't able to complete basic tasks. Your father and I are incredibly disappointed in you. I feel like a failure as a mother. You haven't even managed to kill Monfort in a month under the same roof. You could at least escape and come home. Don't tell me that you can't break the bars with that disgusting sixty Strength of yours.

I shouldn't have to repeat myself. You are a smart child who listens to her parents. I expect to hear from you soon.

Queen Thalia

Keith felt immense satisfaction as he cast [Burning Hand], lighting the letter on fire.

The second missive was from Elder Clarissa from Thistlecrick:

Beg pardon, Your Viciousness,

Please let us know if we are to receive guests from the castle in the future.

Your faithful servant,

Elder Clarissa of Clan Lamia,

Thistlecrick

Ah, that was a mistake on Keith's part. He had honestly gotten so focused on creating an army to withstand King Simon's invasion that he had forgotten to inform his subjects that the princess would be visiting. She was a force to be reckoned with, and he shouldn't like to see anyone get hurt when Ria utterly destroyed those who refused her baking.

He really should find the Dark Enchanted Forest's Royal Crystal in his godmother's hoard … or he could just ask the maids to send notice ahead. They knew Ria's schedule better than he did.

He wished he could just send Tulith to sort Feliwyn's hoard, but who knew how many enchanted or cursed spatulas that dragon had? She also had a habit of not re-sheathing her knives and swords, just tossing them in the pile. It made searching her rooms a bit … dicey.

"Gimtak!" Keith leaned over his desk and called for the imp working in the aide alcove.

"Yes, Your Viciousness?" Gimtak jumped up and stuck a red pin into the page he was working on before flying over. "How can I serve you?"

"I need you to go find the maid Lilith and bring her here."

"Right away, Your Viciousness."

Gimtak was the best runner Keith had, mostly because he didn't bother with hallways and just flew in and out of windows. And he could search the entire castle in fifteen minutes with his [Scouting] perk.

Lilith came hurrying in. It used to be that she was never summoned to the Dark Lord's office, but it was becoming a frequent occurrence these days. She curtsied. "How can I ssserve you, Master?"

"How is Rinrin faring with the princess's wardrobe?" He pushed his glasses up. "And what is Ria wearing to Grand Duchess Calisto's Spring Ball?"

Lilith curtsied again and answered. "Rinrin has completed tailoring three day dresses, two adventuring outfitsss, a practice suit, riding clothesss, and one evening gown. The princesss has left it up to Rinrin to decide."

"Is Rinrin in now?"

"Yesss, Your Viciousnesss."

"Bring her to me," he ordered. "Please. You are otherwise dismissed."

Sometime later, Rinrin shuffled into his office.

"This Rinrin is here, Master." The ratkin was old, and her th's were especially pronounced because of her broken front tooth. "How may I serve you, Dark Lord?"

Keith asked, "What is Princess Henrietta wearing to the Spring Ball?"

"Me thinks she will wear whatever she wants." Rinrin chuckled. "But this lowly one is making something special. Heheh, something special indeed."

"Why am I suddenly worried?"

"Have trust in Rinrin," the old woman said. "Now, does the Dark Lord want to match with the young princess?"

Keith flinched. She was young, and that's why despite their tentative flirtations, he wanted to wait as long as possible. Technically, after her birthday next month, they would only be six years apart, and worse marriages had been formed for king and country in the past.

Not that he wanted a worse marriage. Or any marriage … Not that she'd say yes.

Why was he even about thinking this?

Keith coughed. "Yes. No sense riding the same carriage if we clash."

"Just leave it to Rinrin." The ratkin nodded. "Clothes for the ball. Clothes for the ball … And His Viciousness? Will my Dark Lord treat his buttons nicely? You will be nicer to your buttons, yes-yes?"

"Of course I will," Keith lied. "Now, go back. I have work to do."

He wasn't just sending her away to get out of a long-standing war about his buttons. Keith did, in fact, have work to do.