Chapter 9

nine

Fiona sipped her pinot noir at a high-top table set for two. Moe's was slamming for a Sunday evening, but their killer wings and greasy fries kept the sports bar busy most nights.

It had been a hot minute since Fi sat across from her best friend, catching up in person. When Melody invited her out for drinks, she'd jumped at the chance for some girl time.

"How long has it been since we've done something like this? Because it feels like forever since you've been out to Seattle."

Melody frowned as she nibbled her lip. "Maybe a year and a half?"

Fiona wrinkled her nose. "That's way too long."

"Agreed. Maybe Ezra and I can come see you this fall."

Fiona nodded enthusiastically as she grinned. " Yes ! We'll show him around town and have a ton of fun."

"When I get home, I'll look at next year's school calendar and figure out when I have a three- or four-day weekend."

Fiona nodded again. "Now that school's out for the summer, how do you feel? Are you still loving the classroom?"

Melody smiled her infectious big grin. She'd always been delicately beautiful with her classic redhead features. She had perfect porcelain skin, big blue eyes, and a sprinkle of freckles on the bridge of her nose and cheeks. The hunter-green spaghetti-strap sundress she wore heightened the rich tone of her naturally wavy hair. "I am. The switch from third grade to kindergarten was such a good thing for me. I needed that change."

Fiona smiled. "That's great, Mel. And moving schools has worked out?"

Melody nodded. "I love Maple Ridge Elementary, but being back at our old haunt has been great, too."

Fiona beamed. "Good."

Melody tucked her long locks behind her ear. "And what about you? How are things in the event planning world?"

Fi shrugged. " Busy . Always busy."

Melody's brow furrowed. "That used to make you happy."

Fi jerked her shoulders again. "It still does. I'm just eager to get back to planning the stuff I like to do. Luckily, it sounds like that's happening now that Simone has her full-time team set up in LA."

Melody hummed in her throat as she sipped her martini. "And how are you doing with being back here?"

Immediately, she thought of Cam. "It's been surprisingly okay. Easier than I thought it would be."

"So, this would be a great time to segue to a certain green-eyed hottie carrying you out of a goat pen earlier today."

Fiona laughed. "That's not a sentence you hear every day. Probably never."

Melody grinned. "No, it's not. But GoatGate and Cam rescuing you from a pack of farm animals is the talk around town. What's going on with that?"

Fiona rolled her eyes as she shook her head, not loving that she was a current topic on Maple Ridge's gossip mill. " Nothing . I hung out with Brady for a little while. Since Cam's his dad, he tagged along. Brady Bennet is seriously adorable."

"And what about Cam? He's pretty adorable, too."

Fiona sighed because Melody spoke the absolute truth. "I won't pretend Cam's not a gorgeous man—that I'm not attracted to him. He's a great person—a really good dad. But at the end of the day, what we had is in the past."

Melody made another sound in her throat as she held Fiona's gaze. "Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. Maybe I should have tried harder to tell you about Ally not sticking around."

Fiona adamantly shook her head. "No, Mel. It was never fair that I put you and my mom in that position."

Melody's blue eyes filled with compassion as she reached for Fiona's hand. "You were so hurt , Fi. You were so devastated ."

Fiona nodded, returning Melody's squeeze, remembering how deeply she'd relied on her mother, Melody, and Leo's support during the worst time of her life. "I was. But it doesn't matter anymore because that was a long time ago." Or that's what she often told herself.

"But you're here now and single. Cam's single. Are you sure there's nothing left between the two of you?"

Fiona shook her head again. "There's nothing left between me and Cam that can't be ignored."

Melody sat up, and her eyes widened as she looked toward the door. "Speaking of your past…"

Fiona followed Melody's gaze as Cam walked in wearing dark-wash jeans and a white T-shirt that accentuated all the right places. A rush of heat scorched her belly when their eyes met across the room.

Cam paused mid-step, tossing her a wave before he headed to the bar to exchange handshakes and greetings with a couple of his old teammates.

Fiona turned her attention back to Melody, pretending she didn't see her friend smirking.

"I don't know how you're supposed to ignore that ."

"I'm leaving in a few weeks," she reminded herself and Melody as she picked up her glass and drank deeply.

"So, that's the end of this conversation?"

"It is." Clearing her throat, Fi set her glass back down. "But I want to hear about you and Ezra. How was your weekend away?"

Melody tossed Fiona another knowing smirk. "Sure, Fi. Let's talk about me and Ezra."

Cam nursed his Summer Draught, struggling to follow along with the conversation going on at the bar. His attention kept wandering to Fiona as she and Melody talked at their table across the room.

He hadn't expected to see her when he walked inside, but he wasn't opposed to a welcome surprise.

He took a deep drink as she gestured with her hands, and her laugh carried through the noisy space. She looked good enough to eat in snug jeans and a stylish raspberry-colored tank top that offered up a teasing glimpse of cleavage.

Her eyes were irresistible with a touch of mascara. And she'd done something to her hair—added subtle curls to all that shiny dark brown. Then her glossy lips curved as she lifted her glass to take another sip.

"Damn," he murmured, forever fascinated by her dimples.

Seconds later, Ezra walked in, tossing Cam a wave as he headed to the ladies' table, kissing Melody before giving Fiona a hug.

Fiona grinned as she wrapped her arms around him, saying something before she kissed his cheek.

Cam clenched his jaw, never envying his best friend more than he did at that moment.

"What do you think, Cam?"

He met Griffin's gaze. "About what?"

Griffin and Teddy chuckled. "We were talking about the Red Sox, but we'll let you enjoy your view."

Cam opened his mouth to tell them to kiss his butt, but Fiona stood, putting cash on the table by her glass.

Her ass looked amazing in her jeans. And the way her tank top cinched and tied at her side accentuated her slim, toned waist.

She hugged Melody and then Ezra again, glancing Cam's way as she headed toward the exit.

Ezra caught Cam's eye, giving him a subtle signal that Fiona was walking home.

The second she disappeared out the door, Cam stood, tossing a twenty on the bar. "I'll see you boys later."

Ignoring his friends' crude comments, he left, stepping into the muggy night air. He immediately spotted Fiona as she moved through the parking lot. "Fi, let me give you a ride home."

She tossed a look over her shoulder as she kept walking. "I'm all set, but thanks."

He jogged to catch up, falling into step beside her. "It's getting late. It's not safe to be out by yourself."

She huffed out a small laugh. "It's barely nine, and I live in Seattle. I've been out by myself far later than this in an actual city."

"Okay. Then I'll walk with you."

"I really am good."

Her walls were up—the cool politeness she dished out when Brady wasn't around to help thaw her out. "I'm pretty much not taking no for an answer."

"Suit yourself," she said, turning left instead of right.

He frowned. "You're heading in the wrong direction."

"Not when I was planning to head to the park."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Oh."

A few minutes later, they walked through the stone entrance, moving down the cement path to the playground equipment they had stood next to a few days ago. "This is one of Brady's favorite places."

"He has good taste." She headed to one of the swings, sitting down as the fireflies danced and the crickets sang. "Where is he tonight?"

Cam sat opposite her in the next swing over so they faced each other. "He's having a sleepover with Grammy and Grampy. They're really good about trying to give me breaks."

She started to kick her long legs, making the swing pick up speed. "He's really sweet, Cam. I'm more than a little in love with your son."

He breathed in her shampoo and perfume as she swung higher. "I think the feeling's mutual. The fact that he hasn't replaced you as his best friend for two days running is a big deal."

She chuckled before she closed her eyes, leaning back in the swing. "I haven't done this since the last time I was here."

"It's nice seeing you around town again. It's been a long time."

She slowed her pace as their eyes locked. "I never planned to come back."

He nodded. "That's my fault."

She stopped now, still holding the chains as their gazes held.

"I never got a chance to explain—to tell you how sorry I am for the way things turned out."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes, it does. I tried to call you so many times—to text you?—"

"I blocked you. Eventually, I changed my number altogether."

He huffed out a humorless laugh at her frankness. "Yeah, I figured that out."

"I had to, Cam. You were such a huge part of my life for such a long time. I needed to put that away. I needed to pick up the pieces and make something new for myself."

He swallowed, hating that she'd moved on—that she'd gotten over him. "I've never forgotten the way you looked at me, Fi. That day when you came home… I hurt your heart, and I'll never be okay with that."

Tears pooled in her eyes as she stood. "It's in the past. It all worked out how it was meant to."

He watched as she walked away. "You were supposed to have said no."

She stopped, wiping at her cheeks as she turned to look at him. "What?"

"When we were arguing on the phone that day. I said maybe we should take a break. When you agreed with me, it destroyed me."

She closed her eyes for a long moment before she walked back.

"I'm not blaming you for my fuckup," he continued. "I destroyed us all by myself."

She sat back on the swing, facing him again. "We both said things that day. We both ended things."

"Yeah, but I delivered the kill shot. There was no coming back after what I did."

She swallowed as she looked down at her lap.

He sighed. "When everything happened… I was trying to pretend that it didn't matter that you and I were no longer together. A couple of weeks after we broke up, a group of us went up to my parents' cabin for the weekend. The first night we were there, I was sad and supremely drunk. At some point, Ally showed up with her friends. Mostly, I didn't care because I ended up going to bed. But somewhere along the way, I woke up, and she was there, naked and under the covers. I stopped it at first. Then I didn't… The next morning, I told her it was a mistake—that it wouldn't be happening again. That was the last time I saw her until she came to tell me she was pregnant. Just a few days before you came home."

Several moments passed while he clenched his jaw, staring at Fiona as she stared out at nothing. As she said nothing.

"Why did it have to be Ally?" she finally whispered.

He shook his head because he'd asked himself the same question so many times.

He and Ally had history. They'd dated off and on for close to a year and a half. Their relationship had been one of extremes: the hottest of hots and the coldest of colds. And he'd grown tired of it. Eventually he broke things off the winter of their sophomore year, wanting something different.

When he and Fi ended up in the same humanities class that next spring, she'd immediately caught his attention. He'd seen her walking in the halls occasionally, but after their first conversation, he'd been a goner.

Ally had always been in your face—the popular varsity cheerleader, part-time model, and constant attention seeker. Fi had been effortless and classy—comfortable in her amazing skin and happy to do her own thing. She'd been busy with her friends, goals, and extracurriculars, never giving him the time of day. He'd fallen for her long before she'd fallen for him.

When he'd finally wormed his way into her space and asked her to make room for him among her dreams and ambitions, they'd created something steady and strong. There'd been so much laughter and fun—so much chemistry and love. Fi had been the very best part of his life for a long damn time, and Ally had never been okay with that.

"I will never regret Brady, but everything else about that night… I'm so damn sorry, Fi."

She surprised him when she reached for his hand.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, capturing her fingers, holding on as he held her gaze.

"Where is she?"

He sighed, noting that her voice was still quiet, loathing that he'd ever hurt her. "In Florida. In Miami. When she left, she said she wanted to give modeling another try, but I think she's back doing hair."

"Does she ever see Brady?"

He shook his head. "She's called a couple of times to ask how he's doing, but that's been the extent of it."

Her brow furrowed. "Oh."

"For the most part, the pregnancy was a shit show. Every moment of that year was a disaster." He clenched his jaw as he shook his head, remembering it all. "I was twenty-one years old, living with my parents and a woman I didn't love. We were trying our best to get along… Ally was sick nearly every day."

"That must have been tough."

He shrugged because he couldn't blame anyone but himself for the entire situation. "Brady's delivery wasn't great. He was two weeks late, so they did a C-section when Ally didn't dilate past one. Not long after he was born, she started to struggle with postpartum depression. Brady was pretty colicky at night, which wasn't always easy. When he was right around three months old, I came home from the grocery store to find her standing in the doorway with her bags packed. She handed me Brady and told me she couldn't do it anymore."

Fiona squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry."

"I was relieved," he confessed. "She didn't make much of an effort to bond with him. I know trouble bonding can be a result of postpartum depression, but it was more than that. I don't think she ever wanted to be pregnant."

Fi's eyes radiated with a compassion he didn't deserve.

"I one hundred percent believe Ally came to the cabin that night to cause more problems between you and me and got a hell of a lot more than she bargained for. When she found out we were having a boy, she completely lost interest in being a mother. She didn't even help pick out his name. Mostly, I took care of Brady. My parents helped a lot, too."

"That's really tough, Cam."

He jerked his shoulders again. "For Brady, yeah. I don't ever want my son feeling anything but love."

"You're an amazing father."

"I'm certainly trying."

"You're succeeding."

"Thank you," he said, sliding his thumb along her knuckles.

"I'm sorry it's been so hard—that Brady doesn't have the mother he deserves."

And wasn't it just like Fi—offering comfort when he'd been the one to cause her pain. "For the most part, I'm fine with the way things are. Ally and I have an agreement in place. She doesn't have to pay me child support so long as she keeps her distance. I don't want her popping in and out of Brady's life."

"That makes sense."

He nodded. "If she decides she wants some sort of parental role, we'll figure out something that works best for him."

"That sounds really healthy."

He nodded again. "Brady needs stability. He's all that matters in the entire equation."

Fiona nodded as they sat in the quiet again.

"We should go," she eventually said.

"Sure." Gaining his feet as she did, he walked with her the five blocks to Ivy Spring Street, neither of them talking much.

"This looks like your stop," he said as they climbed her porch steps to stand in the dim exterior light.

"This is it."

He sent her a small smile as they held each other's gazes. "Thank you, Fi. For listening."

"You're welcome."

"I wish there was something else I could say other than I'm sorry—something bigger or better that would make all the pain I've caused vanish. I never wanted to hurt you. Not ever."

She nodded. "I know. I accept your apology."

"So, where do we go from here?" The ultimate question he needed an answer to.

"I guess we try being friends," she said as she held out her hand to him.

He took it, returning the handshake she was looking for. "Here's to being friends."

Then she surprised him for the second time as she closed the distance between them and wrapped him up in a hug.

He returned her embrace, shutting his eyes as he held her against him after so long.

"I've missed you, Cam."

He pulled her tighter against him, settling his cheek against her hair. "I've missed you, too."

She eased back, sliding her palms down his arms to hold his hands. "I'm happy you have Brady. That you got all the things you wanted."

He nodded because he had an awesome son, a beautiful home, and a job he loved, but even so, he felt a constant low-grade feeling that something vital was missing from his life. As he stared at Fiona holding his gaze in the porch light, he had no doubt it was her—the stunning woman who lived hundreds of miles away.

Losing Fi would always be his biggest regret. She would always be the one who got away. "I'm happy you have your big, exciting life."

"Thank you." She smiled as she let him go, taking a step back. "I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, I'll see you around." And because there was nothing more he could do, he turned and walked away.

Fiona let herself inside, watching Cam disappear down the street. She closed her eyes as she exhaled a long breath, still processing the unexpected turn the evening had taken.

Walking to the park with Cam… Sitting on the swings and talking like they had so many times before…

After all these years, she finally understood that Cam hadn't carelessly thrown away the life they'd shared. Ally had been eager to create more problems when there had been blood in the water, and Cam had made a mistake he couldn't take back.

As she listened to his story and how things had played out during that tough first year, she'd found it difficult to feel betrayed. Because the misery and regret radiating in his eyes as he apologized had been undeniable.

Cam had hurt her like no one ever had. He'd altered the course of both of their lives, yet holding on to hard feelings changed absolutely nothing. It was impossible to go back to that long-ago summer, and knowing what she did now, she didn't want to.

Brady was an amazing little boy, and for the first time in a long time, she and Cam were okay again. Or they were as okay as they could be.

She meant it when she told him she missed him. Spending time together over the last few days had reminded her of just how much.

For years, she and Cam had been great together. They'd shared a once-in-a-lifetime love. It didn't make sense not to give a friendship a shot.

Opening her eyes, she stared at the dark, knowing it was time to truly leave the past where it belonged. "I choose now," she whispered as she flipped the lock in place, gasping as she turned to see her mother standing on the bottom step, dressed in her pajamas. "Jeez, you scared me."

"Sorry. Was that Cam's voice I heard?"

She nodded. "He was concerned about my safety, so he walked me home."

Mom smiled. "I was hoping you two might find a way to be easy with each other again."

"We had a chance to talk."

Mom stepped off the stair, reaching for Fi's hand as she moved closer. "That's great, sweetie."

Fiona held it, giving a gentle squeeze. "We've decided we're going to be friends."

Mom's brow rose. "I see."

She frowned, hearing the skepticism in her mother's tone. "What does that mean?"

Mom shrugged. "A friendship seems rather simple. You two have a lot of history—a lot of chemistry."

Fiona shook her head. "All of that's behind us. Cam has Brady. He's happy. So am I." And if she remembered a little too well how good it had felt to be wrapped up in Cam's arms again, she would forget soon enough.

"I guess that's all that matters, then."

Fiona studied the much smaller bandage covering the stitches on her mother's forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better. My ribs are far less achy."

"Good. Can I get you anything?"

"I'm all set, pretty girl."

"Then I'm going to take a shower and get to bed." She kissed her mom before she started up the steps, already knowing she would be spending the majority of the night thinking about her conversation with Cam.