Chapter 11

eleven

Fiona stepped out of the florist shop, pleased that another task for the Bennet party was officially taken care of. All in all, preparations for the last-minute event were off to a great start. Over the last three days, she'd been in and out of meetings with various potential vendors, and to her delight, all but thirty-eight guests had RSVP'd, which made planning easier.

A menu and scattered seating plan had been officialized at the country club, a cake plus two dozen certified gluten-free cupcakes had been ordered at Ellie's bakery of choice, and a photographer had been booked just this morning. Locking up a deejay was proving to be a bit of an issue with the wedding season well underway, but there were several hours left to the day.

Heading toward the Bennet & Sons office three buildings down the block, she waved when Cam pulled up in his newly logoed truck.

He waved back as he got out, wearing construction boots, blue jeans, and a black golf shirt that enhanced the blond streaks waking up in his light-brown hair. "What are you up to?" he called as the sun blazed brightly in the bold blue skies.

She walked his way, wearing a pale-pink sundress and sandals, having chosen a more dressed-up look for a day at work. Technically, she was on vacation, and she was handling the Bennets' event at no charge, but it had felt good to put on a little makeup and lock into her professional vibe. "I just finished up a meeting. I met with Shelby to get the flowers squared away for Grandpa's party."

"Nice." He slid his aviators into his hair. "I know my mom's super relieved that you took that off her hands."

"I'm having fun." Her brow furrowed as she stopped in front of him.

"What?"

She touched her finger just above his left pec. "You have something on your shirt."

Pulling at his top to take a look, he sighed. "And that looks like toothpaste drool. I'm not sure if it's mine or Brady's."

She laughed.

Licking his finger, he wiped at it. "I love having progress meetings with clients when I have slobber on my clothes."

She chuckled, finding him irresistible. "You'll probably need a little water to get that off."

He glanced at his watch. "I'll just go home and change. What are you up to now that your meeting's over?"

"I was about to put my order sheets in the office, but mostly, I'm waiting on my mom. The doctor finally cleared her to get back to summer stock yesterday afternoon. She wasn't missing her morning meetings with her crew for anything ."

"Her set designs are pretty legendary."

Fiona nodded. "That's true. But this whole one-car thing reminds me a little too much of high school."

"Do you want a ride?"

She smiled as she nodded again. "That would be great."

"If you have some time, I can take you out to the house and show you around—give you a tour." He glanced at his watch again. "Brady's playing at Owen's for a couple more hours."

She debated whether it was a good idea to be alone with Cam for longer than the quick drive home. But she lifted her chin, determined to prove to herself and everyone else that they could be just friends. "I'd love to."

"Great. Hop in."

Sitting in the passenger seat, she buckled up as Cam turned over the engine. She raised her brow when "She Looks So Perfect" by 5 Seconds of Summer played through the speakers.

Pulling his aviators back in place, Cam paused as he reached for his seat belt. "What's up?"

"The music. It's not your usual style."

He grinned as he buckled up. "Brady's friend Davis has an older sister. Amelia's nine and super cool."

Fiona laughed when Cam perfectly imitated his son as he said supercool .

"This is the stuff Amelia listens to, so this is the stuff we listen to—Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers, some of Miley's earlier music, etcetera, etcetera."

"Okay, then."

"I'll definitely take this over that Kid Pop stuff." Then he touched the center screen, scrolling down from Brady's Jams to Cam's Mix , tapping shuffle. U2's "Sweetest Thing" blasted through the speakers when he turned it up.

Immediately, Fiona realized her mistake, regretting her decision to spend time with Cam as he reversed from his parking spot. All of this felt too familiar. Cam's favorite music and riding shotgun like she had more times than she could count. If this were a different time, he would have reached for her hand as he pulled into traffic.

Staring out the window as they drove through the newer side of town, she pressed her palm to her jittery stomach when he took the turn toward the lake, heading to their special place.

"It's much nicer now that they've paved these roads," he said.

She nodded, even though she'd liked the desolate feel of the area once upon a time—when it had felt like she and Cam were the only two people in the world. "It's certainly not as secluded anymore."

"I'm sure the kids still find places to make out."

She rolled her eyes as she chuckled. "I'm sure they do."

He turned down his long driveway, eventually stopping in front of his spectacular house. "I can't guarantee it doesn't look like a bomb went off inside. I'm swamped at work, and it's the housekeeper's year off."

She laughed as she got out. "I'm sure it's fine."

He grabbed a bag from the local sub shop, holding it up as he met her at the front of the truck. "My secret lunch. I eat the gluten-free bread with Brady, but that stuff is dry ."

She grinned. "Leo usually toasts it."

He nodded as he pointed at her. "That's a good hint."

Her smile returned as she followed him to the door. Cam was definitely adorable.

He put his key in the lock, opening the door. "Come on in."

She stepped inside before him, breathing in hints of aftershave and cereal. Immediately, the lake and distant mountains came into view through the wall of glass in the great room down the hall. "Cam, your view ."

He pulled off his work boots, dropping them among the man- and child-size sneakers in the foyer. "It's pretty epic."

She took off her sandals, peeking her head in the study to the left, where built-in bookshelves were occupied with numerous books, action figurines, Cam's state champion trophies, and photos of father and son and other members of the Bennet family. "This is great."

"Mom helped with the decorating."

She nodded, noting Ellie's trademark touches in the muted masculine tones painted on the walls and the bulkier furnishings. "You guys did a great job."

"We ended up going with a darker flooring than the one you had originally wanted. We were afraid the place would look too washed out since we kept things fairly neutral."

She examined the wide hickory planks. "It looks wonderful."

"Mostly, we kept things on point. The only major change I made was expanding the garage to add a small gym. It's easier for me to get in my workouts that way."

She nodded. "That makes a lot of sense."

" Mi casa es tu casa . Make yourself at home."

She wandered down the hallway to the great room, noting the stunning wooden ceiling beams running the length of the massive space. There was a huge blue area rug and plush gray wraparound couch where someone could enjoy the outdoor views or the gorgeous fireplace and large wall-mounted TV, depending on where they sat.

Blankets lay unfolded on a couple of the cushions while children's books were scattered on the coffee table, and Legos and action figures littered the floor. Thriving plants occupied space on each side of the three sets of French doors. The long dining room table tucked off to the left was perfect. "Cam." She pressed her hand to her heart. "I love this."

He smiled as he leaned against the kitchen island, watching her. "It's my favorite place."

She moved to join him in the kitchen, taking in the white cabinetry and bold gray veins in the marble-style quartz countertops. The massive state-of-the-art freezer and fridge, where Brady's chart took up residence with several colorful magnetic letters. The dishwasher and farmhouse sink tucked into the mile-long island with bar stools beneath. She laughed as she saw the eight-burner stove. "How many times did you tell me we didn't need eight burners?"

He grinned. "Up to this point, I've only ever used three at a time."

She laughed again. "But it looks so good ."

He nodded. "It fits well in the space."

Then she zeroed in on one of her must-have features nestled among the gorgeous patterned backsplash, touched beyond measure. "You added the pot filler."

"Begrudgingly, it's very handy."

She grinned. "I told you it would be."

He bobbed his head from side to side. "I'm man enough to admit I was wrong."

Her smile returned. "I know the powder and laundry rooms are down that hall, but I want to see upstairs."

"You know where the stairs are."

Eager to take it all in, she hurried up the steps with Cam following behind, stopping to look at the dinosaur comforter on Brady's full-size bed in the adorable bedroom. An eclectic array of framed superhero and dinosaur posters hung on the light-green walls, and B-R-A-D-Y had been spelled out in blue and white lettering. Bookshelves were crammed with books, and toys filled two different toy boxes. "What a great space."

Cam nodded, leaning against the doorframe. "Brady seems to like it. He's still digging the baby T-Rex." He gestured to the stuffed dinosaur she'd gifted him nestled on Brady's pillow. "He's struggling with a name, though. We've tried Tail and Spots, but neither of those stuck. I suggested Bob."

She snorted out a laugh. "What does he think of that?"

Cam sent her a grin. "He's taking it under consideration."

Her smile returned. "I guess Bob the Baby T-Rex has a nice ring to it."

"That's what I'm saying."

She gave his arm a playful shove as she headed out the door, peeking into the two simple guest rooms. Then she stopped outside the master suite. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

She moved into the large space, taking in the navy-blue comforter on the king-size bed, dark masculine furniture, and the gorgeous en suite with a garden tub and large glass shower with dozens of jets. But it was the walk-out deck that had her attention—the thing she'd wanted most in their dream home.

Opening the French doors, she moved to the railing, breathing in the scent of water and pine as she stared out at one of her favorite places.

Cam walked to where she stood, gently bumping her arm with his. "It's pretty spectacular, huh?"

She nodded, finding herself suddenly blinking back tears. The house was everything she'd imagined it would be. Yet it was also so much more. "Everything's perfect."

His smile turned into a frown as he did a double take, looking at her. "Whoa, hey." He gently tugged on her arm until she faced him. "What's wrong?"

Smiling, she shook her head. "Absolutely nothing. I love your home, Cam."

"We did a damn good job designing it."

She nodded. "Thank you for showing me around."

"Of course." He sent her a smile as he slid his palm down her arm, taking her hand. "You're welcome here anytime, Fi. Anytime you want. I mean it."

She nodded again. "Thanks."

"Are you up for some lunch? We could share my sub. It's turkey, bacon, and avocado. And there are chips and fruit down in the kitchen. We can eat out by the water."

She took a small step back, finding the contact with Cam to be too much. "That sounds nice."

"Give me a second to change, and we'll dig in."

"I'll meet you downstairs."

Cam pulled on a fresh T-shirt as Fiona moved around downstairs in the kitchen. He grabbed a pair of athletic shorts from his drawer, replacing his jeans as he stared out at the water. Bringing Fi into his space—watching the delight play over her face as she walked around—had been even better than witnessing her seeing the house for the first time.

Glancing around his bedroom that now felt empty after she'd been in it, he headed downstairs, finding her scooping watermelon chunks into bowls. Classic potato chips and half sandwiches sat on two plates.

"This looks good," he said, snagging one of the chips. And he didn't just mean the food. Fi's summer dress cinched at her slim waist and showed off her pretty legs.

She smiled. "Thanks for sharing your lunch."

"No problem." He grabbed both of their plates. "Do you want to sit on the dock? We can stick our feet in the water."

" Yes ." Her smile returned as she picked up the bowls and two forks.

He led the way across the lawn and then over the wooden dock planks, stopping at the edge.

Fi sighed as she sat down, letting her feet sink beneath the depths. "This is amazing ."

Sitting beside her, he followed her lead, finding the water nice and cool in the summer heat. "It's not a bad way to have a lunch break."

She popped a piece of watermelon into her mouth. "How's Brady doing with the gluten-free lifestyle?"

Cam nodded. "Pretty great, actually. The chart's been a game-changer. Most of the food's not too bad."

"Except for the bread," she said before she took a bite of her sandwich.

He grinned as he bit into his own half. "Except for the bread," he said over his mouthful. He waited until he swallowed before he spoke again. "Brady's bloodwork came back. They didn't see any nutrient deficiencies, and he doesn't have any of the antibodies that suggest celiac disease, so we're in the clear there."

"That's great, Cam."

He exhaled a sigh of relief. "For sure. The headaches, stomachaches, and rashes haven't made an appearance since we gave up gluten, so it's looking like that's probably the culprit."

She stabbed another piece of fruit with her fork. "I imagine that's nice to know."

He nodded. "It's nice that there's no more guessing."

They both took another bite of their lunch, chewing in the quiet.

She leaned close to him, bumping her arm against his as she smiled. "This is really nice. I like that we can be here like this again."

He nodded. "Definitely." Because he'd given up hope that this would ever happen.

"My mom was surprised when I told her we were going to be friends."

He frowned. "Why's that?"

She shrugged. "I guess she thought it seemed too simple when we have so much history."

He nodded again. "I can see that, but ultimately, this gets to be whatever we want it to be."

"I like simple. I like friends."

He took another bite instead of responding because there wasn't a lot he could say when this was what Fi wanted. "So, tell me about your big, exciting life. How's living in Seattle?"

"It's okay. It's good."

He raised his brow as he looked at her. "Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

She chuckled. "Don't act like you know me."

He grinned. "I kinda do."

"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Mostly, it really is good. I've been traveling a lot for my job, which hasn't been a whole lot of fun, but I shouldn't have to do that much when I get back."

"That's good."

She nodded. "Leo and I officially have a big event in the books. The governor's daughter is getting married late this summer. Weddings aren't typically my thing. That's Leo's specialty. But we've been talking, and he wants me on his team for this one."

It wasn't hard to see that Fi had made a hell of a career for herself. "The governor's daughter's wedding. That sounds like a big deal."

She nodded. "It'll be great for Leo's portfolio. And mine, even though I'm playing backup."

"And life outside of work? Are you still digging the urban vibe?"

"I am. But being back here has been much nicer than I expected. I forgot how beautiful the mountains are. How peaceful the quiet can be."

"Hopefully, we'll see you around more often."

"Yeah," she said, staring out at the water as a boat drove by in the distance.

He took several more bites, sensing that something had changed as she exhaled quietly. "Is everything okay?"

She nodded.

He forked up another piece of watermelon, not entirely sure what to say because something was clearly up.

"I can't have children," she blurted out.

His gaze whipped to meet hers as she shocked the hell out of him. "What?"

Tears pooled in her eyes as she nodded. "Or it'll be incredibly difficult, I should amend."

His heart broke for her. She'd always wanted children. She was so good with Brady. Once upon a time, they'd regularly spoken of the family they would eventually create together. "Fi, I'm so sorry."

She wiped at the tear trailing down her cheek. "You're the first person I've told. Leo and my mom know, but I still haven't said anything to Melody. I guess I'm still coming to terms with the idea that it might never happen."

He set down his bowl. "Is the doctor sure?"

She nodded as another tear fell. " Two doctors. And neither left me feeling particularly hopeful."

"Damn, that's tough." Hooking his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her against him. "We can talk about it, or we can just sit here."

Sniffling, she sagged against him. "I've known for about six months now. Mostly, I've tried to ignore the whole thing. It makes it real when I think about it. When I say it out loud."

He sighed as he held her tighter. "I'm sorry, Fi."

"All of it came out of nowhere. Everything just started going wrong ." She exhaled a shaky breath. "About a year ago, I started having these really weird periods. I would miss a cycle —sometimes two—and then I would have a ton of bleeding and some pain."

Cam frowned as he listened.

"My job can be pretty stressful. It definitely was at that time, so I chalked it up to that, but after four or five months of on-and-off periods, I finally went to the gynecologist. She ordered an ultrasound and then an MRI when she determined that I had several submucosal fibroids in my uterus."

"Is that dangerous?"

She shook her head. "Luckily, no. But they can cause a lot of bleeding and pain—like I had—so I ended up having surgery. All in all, it was a fairly minor procedure. Leo and Felix took good care of me while I recovered over a long weekend, and my mom came out for a couple of days."

"I'm glad they were there for you."

She nodded. "Me too."

"How were things after the surgery?"

"Ultimately, it was a success. My periods went back to normal almost immediately, which was a huge relief, but when I went in for my follow-up, Dr. Miller mentioned that she wanted to refer me to a fertility specialist. Obviously, I'm not currently trying to get pregnant, but she noticed that I have significant distortion in both of my fallopian tubes, which will cause problems when I am ready for a family."

"What does that mean?"

"It has nothing to do with the fibroids. It's an entirely separate issue. But basically, sperm won't be meeting any of my eggs without another more involved surgery to try to fix my fallopian tubes or without the aid of IVF."

"Lots of couples have success with IVF."

She nodded, lifting her head to meet his gaze. "But a lot don't."

He steamed out a breath, seeing so clearly the devastation in her eyes. "A lot do, Fi."

She sat up, staying close, but no longer leaned against him. "I'll most likely need to have another procedure to make sure there's no scarring on my uterus from the surgery I had. If there is, and it's significant, implantation might not even be possible."

"That's what the fertility specialist said?"

She nodded. "She agreed with Dr. Miller's initial findings. She wanted to do more tests, but I never made the follow-up appointment. I saw the images of my fallopian tubes. I understand my odds of becoming pregnant. When I'm ready to travel that road, I'll call Dr. Breck back, but at this point, I've had enough of being poked and prodded."

"I can imagine."

She said nothing for several moments as she stared at her lap, and her breath hitched. "Mostly, I just feel broken—like I'm damaged. I feel like my body's betrayed me."

"Hey," he said, gently tilting her face until their gazes met, watching as more tears slid down her cheeks. "You are not damaged or broken. You're perfect whether you can make babies or not."

She closed her eyes as another tear fell. "Thank you for saying so."

"I mean it, Fi."

She nodded, easing back as she wiped at her cheeks. "Gah, I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's so depressing ." She wiped at her face again, struggling to smile. "Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about you."

He nodded, willing to do or say just about anything to make her less sad. "All right. What are we talking about?"

"I don't know… Tell me about being a single dad."

He crossed his eyes as he puffed up his cheeks and blew out a long breath. "How much time do you have?"

She chuckled. "I have plenty."

He blew out another breath. "It's hard work—the most important work I've ever done. But Brady's worth it."

She hummed in her throat. "You make it look easy."

He huffed out a laugh. "I appreciate you saying so, but it's definitely not easy."

She snagged another piece of watermelon with her fork. "What are your favorite moments?"

"When we read together. Or when he snuggles up in bed with me on the weekends and we have our talks. Five-year-olds are pretty damn smart."

She chuckled again. "Brady is definitely smart."

He nodded with feeling. " Too smart sometimes."

"I like your favorite moments. They sound nice. Like something you'll both always remember."

He nodded again. "It makes me sad to know he won't always want to do that—have our chats."

Her eyes softened as she touched his hand. "You have time."

"I'm trying to treasure it."

She nodded. "What's the worst thing about being a single dad?"

"Worrying that I'm not enough—that I'm going to screw him up."

The soft look was back in her eyes. "No way, Cam."

"You're good for my confidence."

She smiled. "I'm glad. Because you're an excellent dad." She took another bite of her fruit. "So, what about dating? How do you juggle that?"

He huffed out a laugh. "I don't . I met up with an interior designer a couple of times two or three years back when I was helping my brother with some work down in Boston, but it didn't go anywhere. I don't bring women around Brady."

Fi nodded. "That makes sense."

"Mostly, I have a good thing going with Rosy." He held up his palm. "She knows what I like, and she keeps me out of trouble."

Fi's eyes grew huge as she laughed one of her big laughs that echoed off the water.

He chuckled. "It's true."

She clapped her hands as she laughed again. "I'm glad she knows what you like."

Fi used to know what he liked, too, but he wasn't stupid enough to say so. "So, what about you? What's city dating like?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't have a lot of time for it. I've had a couple of relationships over the last few years, but they fizzled fairly quickly."

He imagined he was supposed to want Fi to find someone else, but he wasn't that big of a person. The only man he wanted Fiona to be with was him. "Huh," he said. That felt like a safe response.

"I'm not sure what dating will look like now that I know what I do."

He frowned. "You mean about the baby thing?"

She nodded. "Most men eventually want families. I can confidently say I might not be able to give them that."

He captured her hand, gently squeezing her fingers, mad about the injustice of the entire situation. "The right person won't give a damn."

She shrugged as she ate the last bite of her sandwich. "I guess we'll see."

And then the alarm on his watch went off, abruptly ending his surprisingly awesome lunch break.

It was still a bit of a shock that Fi was sitting next to him on the dock—that she'd cried on his shoulder while she shared her hard news. It felt like a miracle that they were back here again—that Fi was willing to confide in him after all they'd been through. "That's my reminder to pick Brady up."

"Okay." Fi stacked their empty plates and bowls, picking them up as she stood. "Thank you, Cam. For lunch. For listening."

He gained his feet. "Anytime. Thanks for hanging out with me."

"Definitely."

"You'll have to come over one of these days and swim with me and Brady. We'll throw some burgers on the grill. I promise I'll toast the gluten-free buns."

She laughed. "I would love to."

"Maybe you'll think about sharing your number with me so I can call you sometime."

"I can do that."

"Good." Taking the dishes from her, they walked back to the house. "Let's get you home."