7. Kaia

Even with him gone, I feel the heaviness of his presence — or lack thereof. And there’s a pain in my chest and gut, like my body isn’t pleased with how far away he’s going. While I didn’t really want to talk about these things with him in the room, I kind of wish he’d stuck around now. Because this feeling sucks, and I have an inkling that it’s because of whatever mating bond we share. Great, I wonder what it’ll feel like when I go home.

If I go home, I guess.

“Feeling it?” Selah asks, her eyebrow arched. There’s a smug smirk on her lips as she watches me rub absently at my breastbone.

“So not only are we bound by some cosmic force, but it’s physical as well?” I take a deep breath and sip on the herbal tea in front of me, hoping that the warmth will fight off some of the discomfort.

“In the beginning, it’s far worse. As time goes on, you’ll be able to be apart for a little at a time. Most mated couples don’t like spending time away from each other, though.” She laughs softly. “It’s kind of gross, actually. I can’t wait for my own mate to make his way here.”

“You’ve seen your own mate?” I ask, my curiosity piqued.

“I have. He’s in your world still. I will be patient, though. I know the time must be right, and for love, I will wait.”

Selah looks so much younger than Thoren. There are no wrinkles around her eyes or mouth when she smiles, and she smiles a lot . Her hair is as black as a raven’s feathers and falls down to her waist in wild curls. Her eyes are blue, just like her brother’s, and they share a nose. But other than that, she looks like her own person.

“So,” she continues, sighing as she leans forward. “What would you like to know?”

“Everything,” I answer honestly. “I want to know how I can get home, first and foremost.”

Selah looks hurt, her eyes avoiding mine.

“I don’t know how to get you home, Kaia.” She spins the teacup around in circles slowly as she thinks. “I can’t tell you that I wish I knew how because I’m glad I don’t. I don’t want to see my brother in pain, and I certainly don’t want him stuck in the Forgotten Lands without a mate to remember him and save him. But… I also don’t want you to hurt, Kaia. Did you have a family? Friends? Are you missing them?”

“Honestly, no.” I decide honesty is probably the best policy here. If I’m ever going to figure out what happened to get me here and how to get back, I may as well be as up-front as possible. “The evening when I fell between worlds, I had just been fired. I lived alone, with no boyfriend or girlfriend. My family is distant, and the only friends I had to speak of were the acquaintances at work.”

“And you want to get back to this world?” she asks, genuinely curious. “It seems there isn’t anything there for you. And here, you have Thoren. You know he has waited his whole life for you — for his mate. He’s been holding on to a ring he forged for decades.”

Ouch, okay. Fair.

“Shouldn’t I want to get back?”

“Why?” She isn’t pushy with the question but seems to be confused as to why I would want to go back to a place where there’s no one waiting for me. I get it, but it doesn’t feel right to just… accept this fate, does it?

“I’m not sure I can answer that. But it feels strange to just accept this. To just accept that I’ve been thrown into a completely different world where things that were only fantasy to me only a day ago are real now. Shouldn’t I want to go home? To where I can shop for food in grocery stores and have internet? Refrigerators and machines that wash my clothes?”

“You have machines that wash your clothes for you?” Selah laughs. “How wonderful. I will need to ask around and see if that’s something magic can do.”

“Say I decide to stay,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper. I’m terrified to say it out loud. I don’t want to speak it into existence. “What happens then? I stay here with you and Thoren, get married, and have babies? Live out a peaceful life in this quaint little lakeside village?”

“What about that sounds so bad?” she asks. “You couldn’t ask for a better man than Thoren. He will take care of you, protect you. And I know that you must feel something for him. The bond ensures that you do.”

“That doesn’t seem fair, Selah,” I admit. “The bond is taking my choice away.”

“It’s not, though.” She sighs. “I’m struggling to explain it correctly. Yes, the bond helps you find that love that we are all desperate to find in our mate, but it doesn’t give you that initial attraction — that spark. It doesn’t force you to find comfort in your mate or to find them humorous. Those things guide the bond to find love. It happens faster because of the mating bond. Emotions that you may have found after months with someone previously happen within days when you’ve found your mate.”

“So my initial attraction to Thoren…”

“All you, I’m afraid.” She smiles and then leans forward, taking my mostly empty cup and peering into it. “You want children?” Her eyes light up as she looks back at me from the cup.

“Always have,” I say with a sigh. “What else do you see?” It seems like I should just give up on questioning everything: her sight, the mating bond, and the fact that I’ve been thrown into a fantasy world. This is not a dream, I am not in a coma, and I’m going to have to get used to it. So I may as well get as many answers as I can.

“So many children,” she says, giggling to herself. “You guys are really fertile.”

“Selah!” I can feel the flush down to the tips of my toes. “Jesus.”

“Who is Jesus?”

“One of our gods, kind of. Doesn’t matter. Anything besides children?” I’d be lying to myself if I said the thought of sticky hands and the pitter-patter of little feet running around a house doesn’t bring me a little joy.

“Happiness. So much joy and laughter.” She tilts the cup to the left and then to the right, her eyes squinting as she picks apart my future. “There’s another path you can take, which I’m assuming means your path back to your world, where my mate still lives. That path is strange. I can’t see much about it. Probably the veil between our worlds keeping secrets.” She shrugs.

“I do like him, you know,” I admit, leaning back in my chair. My neck and back are stiff from sleeping on a mattress filled with hay and feathers. “He’s funny, in the grumpiest kind of way.”

She looks at me like she knows exactly what I’m talking about.

“He’s always been a little grump,” Selah says. “Being the eldest, he had a lot of responsibility put on his shoulders. Our parents had twelve children, most of them girls.” Her smile is sweet and wistful. “They were amazing parents, but watching after that many children is difficult. So Thoren had to step up and help. We did not make it easy for him.”

Her eyes go to the window and then back to me.

“Are you hungry? I have plenty of food here and a tart I made yesterday that I think you would love. There’s a gorgeous apple tree out back that makes the sweetest desserts.”

“I would love some, actually. Your brother hardly had any food in his home. And while the stew he gave me was amazing, I haven’t eaten yet today.”

“I have a feeling he will remedy that immediately. You should stop at the markets on the way back to his home and grab as many things as you can. Mated males can rarely say no to their women.” She grins as if she has a secret.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, Selah.”

“Nieces and nephews,” she answers dreamily.

“Oh, god.” I hang my head in my hands, overwhelmed.

“That is something else that comes with being mated,” she continues. “A lot of sex. There are stories of newly mated couples who do not leave their home unless their first child is in their arms.”

I’m not even surprised anymore when I feel a rush of desire sweep through me. The pain in my chest ebbs, and liquid heat takes its place.

I am so screwed.

I take a deep breath, trying to settle my nerves. God, what am I going to do? My fingers massage the soreness between my breasts that begins to return. As I watch Selah gather a couple of plates and cut us each a very large piece of apple tart, I realize that this isn’t so bad. It could be a lot worse. But am I ready to just give up on returning home? I’ll never see my family again, even though I doubt they’ll even realize I’m gone. If they do, it’ll be months, maybe a year, before they realize they haven’t heard from me. We aren’t a close family and never have been.

Mom and Dad are both gone, I have no siblings to speak of. My friends are nonexistent, and I was just fired. So what would I even be going home to? Here, I would have Thoren and his horde of brothers and sisters. I would have a man who wanted to take care of me, a man who had waited his whole life just to meet me. A man who had held on to hope and a ring for literal decades .

Wait.

“How old are you? How old is Thoren?” I blurt out the questions like word vomit, not stopping to think it’s probably a very rude question to ask.

“Old,” she says, winking at me over her shoulder. “A lady never reveals her age.”

“And Thoren is much older.” His deep voice resonates through me like a gentle massage, working out the knots that had built up in my chest. His smile is kind, and his presence puts me at ease. I didn’t realize how wrong it felt to be without him.

“Fifty?” I ask, reluctant to meet his adoring gaze. Christ, he looks at me like I’m the apple tart and he’s starving for it. “A hundred?”

“We will discuss this at home.” He closes the gap between us with a few steps and holds out his hand toward me. Without thinking, I take it and stand. His palm is warm, and now that he’s close, I realize he smells like smoke and sweat. My clit throbs. “We have many things to discuss at home, I think.”

Get yourself together, Kaia.

“I was going to feed her!” Selah complains, holding two plates of tart. “Here, at least don’t leave without taking some with you. And make sure you get her some food on the way home.”

“Yes, yes, sister.”

“Oh, and Kaia!” She hands Thoren a plate stacked high with her dessert. “Let me give you some clothes. I know you’re shorter than me, but you need something until you can get clothes from Aggie.”

“How did you know?—”

“I see things, remember?” She taps her temple with a finger.

A few moments later, she comes out with a pack filled to the brim with very warm-looking clothes. I take it with gratitude, thanking her profusely for her generosity.

“Anything for my sister.” She says it with such conviction that tears prick behind my eyes. She pulls me in for the tightest hug I think I’ve ever received and then does the same to Thoren, who takes the pack from my hands after. “Please come back and see me. I insist.”

“I will.” And I mean it. I won’t leave without telling her goodbye.

She tugs me in for another hug. “Just go with your heart, okay?” she whispers in my ear low enough that Thoren can’t hear. “Don’t overthink it.” With one last squeeze, I smile and follow Thoren out the door.