22. Kaia

“What do you mean I’m fading?” My stomach is burning with anxiety.

“Think of these worlds as shells for your soul and body to reside in.”

“Like a hermit crab?”

Her eyebrows pull together, and she looks a little miffed that I interrupted her. “I do not understand that reference.”

“Sorry,” I apologize. “I’ll be quiet. Continue.”

“When you came into this world, it was because someone else left it, leaving room for you. This world became your new shell, your new home to reside in. So the shell you abandoned is exposed to the elements and vulnerable to others. Because of that, others can take your place. Not literally, of course. It’s not like someone would step into your body and pick up where you left off. But it leaves a space in the ether, a space for someone that wants or needs it.”

“So another person or thing is looking at the space I left behind as their new shell to live in?”

She shrugs. She either doesn’t know or doesn’t think it’s important to tell me. “It could also just be withering away. A home that is not taken care of eventually returns to the dirt, yes? This is what can happen when we leave our worlds to find another. Your shell will fade until it’s no longer viable. Your existence there will cease to exist. The sooner you decide, Kaia, the better.”

I bite the inside of my lower lip. I used to have it pierced, and ever since I took it out, there’s been a little bump on the left side where scar tissue formed. I chew on it religiously when I’m anxious.

“But something is telling me you’ve already made that decision.”

I ignore her comment and press for more answers. “What about my family? If someone takes my place or my spot in that world fades, what happens to their memories of me?”

Again, she lifts her shoulders in a casual shrug. “Does it matter?”

Doesn’t it? Maybe not. Feryn is right—I have made the decision already, and while it would be easier if the memories of me would fade from my family and friends I’ve had over the years, it doesn’t change the choice I’ve made.

“There is still something weighing on your conscience,” she says, startling me out of my thoughts. “I can see it, faintly picking away at your determination. What is it?”

“It’s so minor.” I let out a breath and lean forward, resting my elbows on the hard wooden table. “When Thoren and I first met, he took me to meet his sister. She told me that Thoren has made a ring for his mate a long time ago, and he’s held on to it all this time. When I asked him if I could see it, he told me he didn’t want to show it to me.”

“Is that what he said?” She stares into my fucking soul. Those eyes, my god, they could make a girl piss herself.

I think back to the night I asked him about the ring, running through the conversation we had. And she’s right. He didn’t actually say he didn’t want me to see it. He was trying to explain, but I let my insecurities at the time overrule any kind of rational thought. My feelings were hurt, and I was embarrassed.

“I actually walked off before he could say much at all,” I tell her, cringing at myself.

“Mhm,” she hums. “Now, what will it be, human girl? Will you stay here with your mate and live out the rest of your life with him? Or will you return to Earth?”

Speaking of living out the rest of my life…

“Feryn,” I say with urgency, just remembering another fear. “What happens to me if I choose to stay? He lives for centuries, and I’m lucky if I get to see one. Will I age next to him while he remains mostly unchanged? Will I leave him behind when I finally die?”

“Oh, I thought this part was obvious.” She laughs, and I find that it irritates me immensely. She has the answers to all my questions and can practically read my mind, but she can’t just give me a straight answer.

“It’s not,” I deadpan, not laughing with her. “I don’t want to be old and gray while he’s still hot and stacked.”

She curls her lip, appearing grossed out by my description of Thoren. Good. No one else needs to be thinking he’s handsome anyway. He’s mine.

“The mating bond ensures that you are tied together for life, fusing your souls together as one. Your aging will slow a little to meet his, while his will speed up slightly to match. You’ll meet in the middle. Even now, I can tell that your body has started the process. Your threads are weaved so tightly together. It’s beautiful, actually.” The hint of a smile graces her lips as she looks around my head like she’s looking at my aura or something. “Strong and intricate. Honestly, at this point, I’m not sure I could return you to your world without you losing some of yourself. You’re very entwined.’

I believe it because just when I’ve thought about it over the last twenty-four hours, I’ve felt the intense burning in my chest and limbs. And even if my brain didn’t remember him when I crossed the threshold back into my world, I think my body would.

“I’m staying.”

Her smile grows wider, her sharp canine teeth showing as she does. I feel like she’s trying to be sweet, but it just comes off as dangerous. I fight through the flight or fight she seems to trigger in my nervous system and smile back. I’m positively floating from finally admitting it out loud. And suddenly, I’m mad at myself for not saying it out loud to him first . Why did I wait to tell her? Thoren should have been the first to know, not a stranger.

“Obviously. You are in love with him.” She nods. “Go tell him, then.”

She’s right. I am in love with him. If there was any doubt that our bond was falling into place before, there isn’t now. I feel it like a physical tug-of-war between our bodies. I can sense that he’s just outside the door, waiting for me. My heart pounds, and my stomach flutters as my chest aches with needing to be closer to him.

“Thank you, Feryn.” I stand and reach out to shake her hand again, but she just stares at it until I let it drop back to my side. “You are always welcome to come visit us… if you ever want company. You don’t have to live alone for the rest of your life. I know Erik and Natalie would welcome you at their inn as well. Go eat some good food and make some friends.”

“You are giving me advice?” she asks, humor written across her otherwise stoic face.

I shrug and walk backward toward the front door that will lead me to my mate. “I’m just saying. There’s no sense in being miserable all the time when there’s so much life to live. You should take a risk. I would like more friends here.”

“Go to your mate, human. You bother me.”

Her face is surly, but I can tell she’s touched. She turns to face the fire, and her body relaxes, her eyes zoning out as she stares at the glowing coals. I guess that’s my official cue to get the fuck out of here. And when I open the door, Thoren is sitting on the steps of her porch, his back to me for only a second before he turns to face me.

He stands incredibly fast, closing the distance between us with two solid steps. His hands instantly go to my face and then around to hold my neck under the intricate braids that Natalie twisted this morning. He looks me over, searching for any sign that I may be hurt or upset. I try my hardest to keep my face passive, but I fail, and a wide smile breaks out.

“She had answers?” he asks, looking hopefully for me even though I know he must be in pain.

“She did,” I tell him. “She knows how to get me back to my old life.”

“You are choosing to leave, then.” He says it matter-of-factly, like there was never a chance that I would choose to stay with him, even after I told him earlier that I wasn’t quite sure. My heart breaks, and I can’t keep it up any longer. I can’t stand the look on his face, like I’ve crushed his soul into a million pieces.

“I am choosing you, Thoren.” I reach up, stroking the side of his face as he stares at me with wide eyes. His breathing picks up, his chest moving almost violently with the effort.

“You’re choosing me.”

I smile even wider, laughing as I do. “I’m choosing you, mate. I love you, and I want to stay with you.”

“You love me.”

“Are you just going to keep repeating what I say, or are you going to kiss me?”

He shouts toward the sky with a mighty fucking roar and then bends at the waist and takes me into his arms. Spinning me around like I’m in my own personal romantic comedy, he laughs and squeezes me until I can barely breathe.

“My mate!” He kisses me hard on the mouth, stealing all the breath from my lungs. My arms are wrapped around his shoulders, and my hands dive into the soft waves of his hair. “I promise I will love you until the day I die, Kaia. You’ve chosen me today and given up the life you’ve known since you were born. The importance of that is not lost on me. I will work every day of my life to make this all worth it for you.”

He sets me back on my feet, and I just stand there staring up at him like a lovesick puppy. “It’s already worth it, Thoren.” I play with the bracelet wrapped around his wrist. “I can feel it now,” I tell him. “The bond. It’s stronger, like there’s a real, tangible thing between us, pulling us together. And it makes me realize that the bond between us was the tinder that got the fire started, but all of these feelings I have for you? They’re all me. And they’re there because it was always going to be you. You were kind, patient, and understanding when you didn’t have to be.”

There are unshed tears in his eyes, and that raw emotion chokes me up. The painful lump is back in my throat, and there’s no denying the tears this time. They fall hard and fast, and as he pulls me into his body, I sob against his chest.

“They aren’t sad tears,” I promise him between breaths. “I’m just so relieved.”

“I know, my sweet mate. My beautiful Kaia.” He kisses the top of my head, rubbing his strong hands up and down my back. “There is something I’ve wanted to get off my chest,” he continues. “But I’ve been searching for the right time, and I think my nerves just wouldn’t let me get it out.”

“What is it?” I pull back, just slightly, and look up at him. I’m sure I’m quite the sight, my cheeks red and my nose runny. But he just gazes down at me like I’m the only person in the whole universe. He looks at me with so much love it hurts. “You can tell me anything.”

“It’s just, when you first asked me about the ring,” he says, one of his hands leaving my back to dig around in his pocket. “It was old. I had made it for the idea of a mate that might one day come. And when you quite literally fell into my arms in that lake a week ago, you blew all of my hopes and dreams out of the water. You were far more than I could have ever asked the Gods for.”

When his fingers finally grasp what he’s looking for, he pulls out a ring made of the shiniest gold.

“Thoren,” I whisper, the tears coming again.

“And so I didn’t think that ring suited you. I didn’t want to give you something that could’ve been made for anyone. I wanted to give you one made only for you.”

He holds it up between us and stares at it with awe. The band has a delicate and intricate design of vines wrapping around the entire thing, and instead of leaves, there are little gemstones of all different colors. It’s beautiful and everything I could have ever wanted in a ring. And the fact that he made it just for me, and so soon after he met me…

“Can I put it on?” I look up at him hopefully, and the answering smile lights up his entire face. I will never get tired of seeing just how much his smile makes his eyes shine.

“Of course you can, my sweet mate.” He takes my hand and places it on my ring finger. I guess they have similar customs to our own. It fits perfectly. “I’m not sure what human customs are,” he tells me, “but this is a symbol of my never-ending love for you. It shows that you are committed to me and that your mate is committed to you.”

“Do the women give the men anything?” I ask, still gazing down at the ring on my finger.

“It’s not common, but sometimes.”

“Maybe that bracelet I gave you could be my symbol?” I ask, finally looking up at him. The setting sun is shining through the trees behind us, causing his blue eyes to radiate under the rays. “I kind of got it as a way to mark my territory anyway, if I’m being honest.” I laugh awkwardly.

“I would love that.” He touches it softly, running his fingers over the shining silver and soft velvet fabric. His eyes meet mine again, playful and happy. “I would love that very much, Goldilocks. Just as I love you.”

“I love you, too, Thoren.” I pull him down for a kiss, pouring all my love into it. “And I have good news. Feryn said our timelines will sync up. My aging will slow, and yours will speed up. We will meet in the middle. I was a little worried I’d grow old, gray, and wrinkly while you stayed hot.” I laugh.

His eyes light up. “I like gray,” he says playfully. “But I am relieved that we have a long while left with each other. It has been worrying me as well. I didn’t want to be left without you.”

“You won’t be,” I promise him. “I’m not leaving you. Ever.”

“How did I get so lucky?”

I shrug, teasing him. “I don’t know. But I think you won the lottery with me.”

“I do not know what the lottery is,” he says as he lifts me back up into his arms, hugging me tightly against his body. “But I will agree that I won when you fell into my arms.”

He kisses me again, his soft lips meeting mine while the stubble of his beard tickles my chin and cheeks. Everything feels so incredibly right , and I don’t have a single regret. This is the life I’ve chosen, and I am more than happy with my choice.