Chapter One

CHAD'S CELL phone rang as he grappled with a half-used roll of SpongeBob duct tape. The hope that the sticky, uncooperative strips would secure the spindly leg to the rest of his coffee table still lived on. He glanced at his phone, then back at his home improvement project. He wondered again why he hadn't just stayed at his parents' house instead of moving out.

Because it's pathetic at my age?

They'd been happy to have him there, had said he could stay for as long as he needed to. However, it had been time to leave; he would never find his own way if he didn't. He still had no idea what sort of future lay in store for him, but living with his folks for the rest of his life hadn't made the list.

The phone finally went to voice mail, and he returned his attention to the dinged-up piece of furniture he'd scored after someone left it at the curb along with the rest of their garbage. It'd seemed a shame to waste a perfectly good little table when all it needed was some tender loving care. The deal he'd gotten on the cartoon-character tape had made it an even sweeter deal. He finally got the last of the gummy remnants attached to the leg, then set the table upright and sat back on his haunches, gazing with pride at the latest addition to his little home.

It wavered for a moment. Then the leg gave way, and it toppled over.

Chad sighed. Coffee tables weren't exactly a necessity in life. He didn't have to have one. Even if he'd wanted to make his tiny place a bit homier, a coffee table wasn't the only thing that would telegraph such a thing to potential visitors. Right?

Living alone sucked. Even if he was only in his early twenties, he'd imagined he would at least have a boyfriend by now. Someone kind and sincere, a man who had his head on straight and cared about such things as family, wasn't into partying and other stuff that held little to no interest to Chad.

God, I sound so boring.

He didn't actually think he was, but a few guys he'd gone out with over the years had hinted at it. Enjoying a simple life didn't have to be boring, especially if you had someone to share it with.

Lindsey found her someone.

His sister's impending marriage had driven home to him more than ever that he wanted what she had. It hit him that her engagement announcement had coincided with his moving out. Huh. Maybe he should leave town, go somewhere with a larger dating pool, or at least one that didn't rely solely on the transient population of the base at Naval Air Station Fallon.

He pushed up from the threadbare-carpeted floor, then padded into the teensy studio kitchen. The idea to relocate had occasionally taken hold since he graduated from high school but had never gained any real steam. Going somewhere alone and starting from scratch held no appeal. If he were ever to leave his family, it would be because he was beginning a new life with someone.

He flipped open the cabinet door that held his odd collection of glasses. When he'd moved out, his mom had given him all the strays that had survived the broken sets he'd grown up with. She'd apologized that she couldn't offer him better ones. He'd been too embarrassed to tell her that he liked them, that they held special memories.

He reached for his favorite green one with the weird, mismatched bumps on it, and his gaze landed on the slightly crinkly photo taped to the inside of the cupboard. He'd folded it in half so that his sister was no longer visible. There were two reasons for that: One, he'd had to steal it from his sister's dresser drawer when he was a teenager; and two, it would be waaaay too creepy if he could see his sister in the picture while fantasizing about her best friend, Raudel Flores.

The one that got away.

Yeah. He was an idiot. It was hard for someone to get away when you'd never had them in the first place.

He trailed his index finger down the image.

So incredibly sexy, yet so cool. The genuinely nicest guy ever.

Thinking he could ever have a chance with Raudel was his downfall. He should've simply accepted that the two years separating them had been a bridge that could not be crossed in high school.

Instead, I opened my big mouth. Enlisted her help.

It was a classic move of desperation. He'd been lust-addled, his brain cells hijacked by his dick. But if it had merely been his cock holding him hostage instead of his heart, he might have recovered from the subsequent fallout of Raudel unexpectedly dropping by his house that day. His cheeks burned from the memory alone.

Chad snatched the glass from the cupboard, then abruptly closed it. Pointless reflection wasn't going to rewrite history so that his moment of utter stupidity hadn't fucked everything up with Raudel. Right as he filled the tumbler with water from his tap, the phone rang.

Once again, he tried to ignore it. Less than two weeks until Lindsey's wedding, and she'd become more unreasonable the nearer it drew. He had a shift at the yogurt shop in an hour and, after the coffee table debacle, wasn't in the mood for her to strong-arm him into another favor.

A stab of shame poked at him. Lindsey was his only sibling, and she'd be moving to San Francisco after the wedding. Who knew when he'd see her again, and even then, things would never be the same.

By the time he wandered into the open area that was the main room of his humble dwelling, the cell had stopped its insistent ringing. He'd turned on his heel to retrace his path to the kitchen, the siren call of a baloney sandwich reaching out to him, when it started up again.

Yup. Lindsey.

Taking into consideration her ever-growing unstable behavior as time ticked away, hurtling her ever closer to the moment when she'd finally become Mrs. Cromwell, Chad thought he'd better answer. He didn't want to be responsible for causing her to finally teeter over the edge.

"Hey, Lin. I've only got a little while to grab a bite to eat and get changed for my shift, so if you need me to pick up anything for you, or whatever, I'll have to do it later after—"

"Listen up, Chad. This is important."

Her tone was calm and serious for someone who'd lately sounded like she was running for her life every time she spoke on the phone. Her words were always breathless because, apparently, everything was urgent and had to be done right now .

"Okaaay."

"Remember when I told you that Raudel wouldn't be attending because of school, and we'd gotten Daniel's buddy, Steve, to stand in?"

Fear coiled in his belly. Nuh-uh. No way.

He'd marked himself safe when Lindsey had told him almost a year before that Raudel had opted out, that he'd be doing his finals just before graduation, so couldn't promise her anything.

"Um, yeah. So… what are you trying to tell me, exactly?"

"Chad, darling little brother, I don't pretend to understand why you avoided Raudel like the plague after confessing to me your everlasting love for him while in the clutches of a rookie drunken stupor. But I do know that you have some sort of, I don't know, thing about not being around him. Don't think I didn't catch how you almost passed out with relief when I said he couldn't make it."

" And ?" Chad never thought he would have the capacity to empathize with the hysteria Lindsey had begun displaying, but he wondered if he should revisit the concept.

"Well, Steve sprained his ankle and can't make it, so I called Raudel on a whim, and he said he'd work it out and that he'd love to be in the wedding."

"You did what ?" Chad gripped his phone so tightly he thought it might snap in half. Then he collapsed onto his recent garage sale sofa purchase. The vague, unexplained tinge of cat piss wafted into the air. He kept forgetting not to land on it too hard.

"Chad, calm down. It's no big deal."

Chad pressed his lips together, inhaling a deep breath through his nose to keep from raging at his older sister. She wasn't the one who would have to face the gorgeous high school crush who'd witnessed his all-time most embarrassing moment. He wondered if he could somehow break her and Daniel up before the wedding—he might be willing to hazard the bad karma in exchange for being spared the abject humiliation of such an encounter with Raudel. Even if Raudel wasn't still smokin' hot, he'd forever be out of reach the way he'd been after that awful day. It was all very cruel and unfair.

"Chad? Hello? I have a lot of packing to do still. Don't mess with me right now."

Chad was certain there was some sort of toxic drug in bridal gowns, or perhaps added to the frosting of wedding cake samples, or possibly laced in the vellum of the invitations. It was the only explanation as to how his typically even-tempered sister had morphed into the perfect representation of a bridezilla. "I just remembered. I have some important plans next weekend, so I can't be in the wedding party after all."

She let out a snort that would've put a rampaging bull to shame. "Right. Important plans. You." Her tone turned menacing. "I don't have time for your motherfucking high school bullshit right now, Chad. You're twenty-two years old. Suck it up."

"You kiss your high-society fiancé with that filthy mouth?"

"Fuck you." She sighed as if the weight of the world was crushing her. "I get that you used to like him a lot, or whatever, but just because he never took the bait when you asked me to put in a good word for you doesn't mean you have to pine for him forever. Jesus, Chad, what were you expecting? You were only fifteen, and he was about ready to graduate." Her voice returned to its previous threatening tone. "Now look. Be at the Lake Tahoe house as planned, ready to stand at the altar with me, or I'll tell Mom that you lied when you said the dress she picked out for the wedding was very flattering and took years off her age. That what you actually thought was that it was the funniest fucking thing you'd ever seen, and she looked hideous."

"Jesus, Lin. That's just mean. What's wrong with you?"

His sister used to be so nice.

Right until about a month ago.

"Family members who act as if they wouldn't know what adulthood was if it came up and smacked them across the face. That's what." She let out another sigh, one that had an air of remorse to it. "I'm willing to concede that I may be a tad out of sorts right now."

He didn't dare risk agreeing with her. Or guffawing and stating that her words were a massive understatement.

She carried on. "But Raudel is my best friend. I was so excited when he said he could make it after all. What with it being so last-minute, and finals right around the corner—I honestly never expected he'd agree to be in the wedding after all."

Chad suppressed a groan. Raudel, UCLA law student and the sexiest man ever to be born in Fallon, Nevada, versus Chad, pervy teen who grew up to become the assistant manager of the local frozen yogurt shop.

"I understand, Lin, I really do." He clutched the cell phone so hard, it hadn't yet escaped the danger of being crushed into little plastic shell and sim card bits and pieces. "I'll just…" wear a disguise. Change my name. Pretend I have amnesia. "Keep to myself. Stay out of his way so that we don't have to actually interact. It'll be totally fine."

"Um…."

Chad's gut clenched, and terror clawed its way up his throat from the hesitant, yet bizarrely apologetic, sound of her voice. "Holy shit. Out with it, woman. What else have you done?"

"I didn't do anything." She cleared her throat. "We chose the house in Lake Tahoe way before I knew who would be in the wedding for sure."

" And ?" He was going to strangle her through the phone line if she didn't own up already.

"Well, there's only five bedrooms. One for Mom and Dad. One for Daniel's mom and stepdad, one for Grandma, one for me, Brenda, and Shannon—"

"Stop. Please." He pinched the bridge of his nose, the fear in his gut quickly turning to bile. "Let me guess. I have to share a bedroom with Raudel."

"Well, I can't very well ask him to sleep on the couch!"

The couch. Yaaass. "No worries. I'll take it. The couch, I mean."

"It's located in the middle of the house between the kitchen and the rest of the bedrooms. Everyone will wonder what's going on, and… and… I will not have you sleeping out there and ruining everything !" Her voice had steadily risen in volume as if she were about to shoot into orbit.

"Okay, okay. Don't freak out. I won't sleep on the freakin' couch." He grunted before another thought occurred to him. "What about Daniel? Where's he gonna be?"

"The guest house."

"There's a guest house? Well, then, maybe I could—"

"Don't even think about it," She growled. "Daniel has to stay out there because we aren't supposed to be together before the wedding."

"Right. But if he stays with Raudel…."

"He's the fucking groom, Chad. The groom !"

"All right! Okay. Just… calm down before you hurt yourself." He still couldn't believe there wasn't some solution to his travails. "Are you sure you didn't do this on purpose?"

His sister growled again. "Hardly. I have much more important things to deal with than my little brother mooning over some guy from back in fucking high school."

He gasped. "Mooning? Seriously?" He rolled his eyes since she couldn't see him. "Fine. I'll bow to your unreasonable bridal will. But I want to go on record that I don't like it. Despise it, even."

"Just remember one thing, Chad. I will rip your arms off if you fuck up my wedding!"

Oh no. Not a bridezilla in the least.

CHAD WAS smooshed between his eighty-seven-year-old grandmother and boxes of wedding favors, personalized peach-colored napkins, and a shiny, fake-silver chocolate fountain. Every time they hit a bump, the box the fountain was in would tip over and smack him on the shoulder, and he'd elbow it back into place. The fountain, however, was determined, and for the almost two hours they'd been on the road, it hadn't given up on the fight to permanently injure him. He almost sighed but then stopped himself. About an hour before, his mother had asked him if he had some sort of breathing problem, so he'd reined it in since then.

Chad almost swallowed his tongue at the sudden grip on his knee from Grandma Barton's clawed fingers.

"Chadwick. Have you been courting any nice young ladies?"

She cackled before dissolving into a cigarette-induced coughing fit. She swiped her hand across her mouth, then clutched his knee again.

Chad stared at the brown spots and dark blue veins fighting for attention amid the copious wrinkles of her skin.

Would anyone think it odd if I shared the bed with Grandma?

She gave way to another round of loud hacking before coughing up something with some heft behind it into a handkerchief.

Never mind.

"Sorry 'bout that. I gave up the smokes last year, but they're the devil to get out of your system."

Grandma had once confessed to him that she'd been smoking since she was fourteen. He didn't doubt her claim.

She snorted with enthusiasm. "You'd better ask one of your girlfriends to marry ya soon. Don't know how long I got left, so maybe you can get her to pump out at least one great-grandbaby before I croak."

"Uh, sorry, Grandma. I don't have any girlfriends."

"Nonsense! Cute little thing like you?" She pinched a significant amount of the flesh of his cheek and shook it. "Lots of girls would drop their panties for those big blue eyes and that nice bulge you got in those tight jeans."

"Mom!" His dad braked too hard, swerving the SUV before straightening it again.

Chad rubbed his abused cheek. I hope there won't be any bruising.

His mother angled her body from where she sat in the passenger seat to look back at them. "Mother Barton, Chad is gay. He doesn't date women."

"Gay? When did that happen?"

Chad groaned. They hadn't even made it to the lake house yet, and he was already working up to a decent-sized migraine.

His mother pursed her lips. Despite the other challenges in Chad's life, at least his parents had never blinked an eye when he'd come out to them.

"It didn't happen . It simply is." His mom sighed, obviously taking over the job for him. "Now, did you need to stop before we get there? Use the restroom? We still have a ways to go before we get to the rental."

"Nah. I'm not climbing out of this giant hunk of rolling metal until we're there. But I'd rev up the horsepower to be on the safe side. I've never fully tested the resilience of these Depends."

Chad cuddled up to the fountain as his mom widened her eyes in horror.

"Oh." She stared at his grandmother for a few more seconds, blinking rapidly before facing forward again.

Chicken.

Within a couple of minutes, Grandma was snoring loudly, her jaw slack. Gravity took over a minute later, and her head dropped against his shoulder.

Fuck my life.

The remainder of the drive was devoid of conversation. Only the snorts and grunts emanating from his grandmother and the electronic keyboard strains of Depeche Mode's "Black Celebration" filled the car. Chad tried not to think of his dad's music selection as a portent of his own doom.

By the time they pulled up the driveway to the ridiculously expensive house that would shelter the wedding party and the bride for the weeklong festivities, his sweaty cheek was plastered to the shiny cardboard of the fountain box. He peeled his skin away, then gave Grandma a somewhat gentle nudge to encourage her off him.

Daniel, the Wonder Fiancé.

His sister had wanted a private wedding in a house on the shores of Lake Tahoe, so her prince had rented the large post-and-beam wooden home that loomed before them. Daniel might be dripping with cash, but he was still a prudent man. Since the place had a one-week minimum for a rental, and it was the one that Sis had demanded, he declared they should all spend the week enjoying nonstop revelry together. Lindsey had squealed with delight while Chad had been on the verge of weeping. Even a double shift at the yogurt shop every day for the rest of his life would be preferable.

And now there's Raudel, too.

After he helped to unload Grandma and the mountain of wedding crap they'd brought with them in his dad's Suburban and dumped his duffel bag in the hall outside his assigned quarters—he went back to formulating his strategy for when he saw Raudel for the first time. So far, polite and Stepford Wife–friendly seemed to be the best tactic. He wouldn't give the brown-eyed, dark-haired, bronzed hunk the chance to lure him into any personal, and likely humiliating, conversations.

Chad narrowed his eyes as if his nemesis were before him. Won't give him the satisfaction.

He slammed the box of napkins down on the dining table a bit too hard. His mom yelped.

"Chad, please. This is a rental. Now go get the fountain, but be very careful. We spent a big chunk of change on that thing." She rolled her eyes, then went back to fussing with the food in the cooler they'd brought with them. "God only knows why we couldn't have simply rented one of those things when we got here. It's not as if no one's ever gotten married in Tahoe before. But nooooo, she had to have her very own."

She continued to mutter, and Chad realized she hadn't actually been talking to him. He also mused that maybe his mom wasn't all that thrilled about their enforced seven-day celebration-slash-cohabitation either.

He turned to do her bidding, striding toward the door with purpose, anxious to get the unpacking over with. Staking his claim in the bedroom was a vital part of his plan and had to be completed before Raudel arrived. Maybe he could position the beds so there were several large pieces of furniture between them. He'd take the one by the door. Then he could sneak in and out of the room late at night and early in the morning while Raudel was asleep. Never even have to speak to him unless it was unavoidable when they were around others.

Maybe even use the guest bath.

He could hide his grooming stuff in there, and if it was only a half bath, he could wash up in the sink.

What if Raudel assumes I never shower? Or brush my teeth? He gulped as an icy finger of dread skittered up his spine. What if there's only one bed?

All the blood seemed to drain from his body. No. No way . At the last minute, he darted from the entryway and booked it down the hall to the bedroom he'd been assigned. He flung the door open, slapping his hand to his mouth before a terrified scream could escape. His absolute worst fears had been realized. Not only would he be sharing a room with Raudel—he'd be sharing a bed .

His life had become an actual living nightmare.

Wiping away the sweat on his upper lip with the back of his hand, Chad took a moment to suck in a few deep breaths. He couldn't get ahead of himself. He could refine his strategy later. There was still time. Raudel wasn't arriving today. There had to be another solution to this ridiculous situation.

Worse case, he could drink a gallon of coffee a day and never sleep. Maybe doze off in a deck chair here and there like it was an accident. It would be a son of a bitch to maintain for several days—hallucinations were a real possibility—but he had loads of motivation and nothing else to do but pander to his sister's demands. Everyone would be so focused on the wedding and Lindsey's random meltdowns—no one would even notice him behaving like a freak.

Yeah. Everything would work out.

The door was still open due to the parade of stuff being brought into the rental, so he returned to his duties, strolling into the early April sunshine. The sun hadn't warmed up the trees enough, so all he inhaled was the faintest aroma of pine. It would eventually become the prevailing scent as the summer heat took over. Tahoe had always been one of his favorite places to vacation when he was a kid.

Still, there was the hint of a chill in the air, and Chad prayed to the weather gods that rain, sleet, or snow wouldn't disrupt Lindsey's fantasy dream week. They'd probably have to rent a straitjacket for her otherwise. He idly wondered if those were available at wedding-party stores.

Both his mom and Daniel's mom had encouraged Lindsey to have the ceremony in the summer, but she'd dug in her heels. According to her, the heat and bugs would be awful, and everyone in the continental United States would be getting married then as well, so it would be too crowded. It was about the only thing regarding her wedding that Chad had agreed with her on so far.

Chad tripped over his own feet and had to grab the side-view mirror of the Suburban to keep from face-planting on the cement driveway.

Raudel. Fuck!

Lindsey had sworn he wouldn't be showing up until the morning, well after the rest of them had arrived. He didn't have his game face on yet, hadn't practiced his nonchalant expressions in the mirror, or put on his best pair of jeans.

Shit. Damn.

Internally swearing wasn't helping, so he refocused on what his opening line to the ex-crush of his life should be.

Raudel had parked on the carefully maintained dirt near the end of the driveway, over by one of the enormous evergreens surrounding the property. Either the management company or the owners of the lake house appeared to have verified that not one pine needle disgraced the cleared forest area that extended from the end of the driveway.

He seemed busy enough gathering items together from within his vehicle, so Chad thought he might not have even noticed him yet. Chad aborted all plans and raced back into the house, almost mowing his mother over in the process as he slammed into her. He grabbed her upper arms to keep her from crashing to the floor.

"Chad! Watch what you're doing!"

"Sorry!"

She looked him up and down as if he was hiding something. "Where's the fountain? You know I can't carry anything too heavy. My back is still recovering from falling off Sassy."

His mom had been cranky ever since she'd toppled off her prized mare—which was more of a spoiled pet that she fawned over in their enormous backyard. The doctor wouldn't let her ride for at least another month, and it was her favorite thing to do. She'd since turned her attention to other pursuits, most of which involved holding her daughter's hand as Lindsey navigated through the previously unknown, treacherous waters of impending marriage. The rest of her focus was saved for sniping at him and his dad.

"I—" Think idiot, think. "—thought I'd search for a hand truck. I saw a shed in the backyard, so I'll just go check real quick."

He'd only made it one step forward before his mom stood defiantly in front of him, hands on her hips, effectively blocking his escape.

"Chadwick Barton. I don't know why you've been acting so strange all day, but I've had it up to here!" He waited for her to indicate how far she'd had it up to, but she carried on with her rant instead. "You can really help out by simply doing what I say right now. We don't have time for thinking. Stay on task." She sucked in a breath, then let out a tired sigh.

For the first time in recent weeks, he stopped to truly study her. He took after her in general appearance—everyone they'd ever met had always commented on it. Chad had the same honey-blond hair and deep blue eyes. They also shared the type of pale skin that burned instead of tanned, which made living in a primarily desert state next to ridiculous. But his mom's features were tinged with something else.

Where Chad's hair was shaggy and hung just below his ears the way he always wore it, her shoulder-length hair wasn't loose the way it normally was, but yanked back into a ponytail instead. The strands that had worked their way free from their hair-tie prison were not helping to make her appear less fatigued. The dark circles under her eyes weren't of much assistance either. A twinge of guilt hit him squarely in the chest. He couldn't imagine having to deal with a twenty-four-year-old daughter who was half-hysterical most of the time and had been embracing the crazy for weeks.

"Sure, Mom. Sorry. I'll totally help out with whatever you need."

She nodded, her exhaustion like a flashing neon sign now that it had caught his attention. He turned around to do as she'd requested, noting that Raudel had made it out of his car with a messenger bag flung over one shoulder. He glanced up the driveway. Chad ducked his head, then marched forward and, within a few long strides, skirted the front of the Suburban, placing the behemoth of a truck between him and Raudel.

"Raudel Flores! Is that you ?" Chad's mother called out, her voice shrill to his ears, but he acknowledged that it might only be due to his nerves. "Chad! Come here, it's Raudel. You remember Lindsey's friend?"

In ways you can't imagine.

Chad froze, still shielded from Raudel's probing gaze by the heavily tinted glass his father had had the foresight to opt for on the Suburban. Chad knew it had only been added as protection against the searing heat of their little Nevada town, but he fantasized that it had actually been meant to save him. Or at least offer more in the way of essential stalling opportunities. He let his head fall back as he stared up at the sky. His avoidance tactics were swiftly disappearing.

"Chad? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, Mom. Just grabbing the fountain real quick."

"Oh, don't worry about that. You can get it later. Come say hello to Raudel."

Seriously?

Chad wrestled the fountain loose from the backseat anyway, then wrapped his arms around the box and lifted it up in front of him. If he peered around the side, he could still see where he was going. Sort of. As he tentatively stepped forward, he used the frame of the truck to guide him. He made it around the first headlight, then hazarded a peek.

He jerked his head back behind the safety of the box.

Still hot as fuck. Dammit.

His mother jabbered on about "how long has it been?" and "your mother must be so proud" and "aren't you graduating soon?"

The sound of Raudel's smooth voice and soft laugh filled the air as he responded to his mother's obligatory questions and observations. Since no one had acknowledged Chad's presence yet, he figured he'd chance meandering to the left, around Lindsey's Toyota parked in front of the truck then into the safety of the house.

He'd almost cleared his mother when she grasped his upper arm, pulling him back with surprising strength for someone who was supposed to be recovering from a back injury.

"Chad, for heaven's sake. Where are you going?"

He tried to extricate himself from her grip, but she only dug her fingers deeper into his flesh. "Ow." All hope of avoiding Raudel was lost, and he again peered around the boxed fountain, his muscles beginning to strain from the effort of holding it up for so long.

"Hi, Chad."

Raudel flashed the same perfect smile that Chad had once jacked off to all the time and on occasion thereafter. Saving his yearbook had been pure genius.

"Hey. How's it going?" Chad tossed the words out as if Raudel's presence had zero impact on him, that he was merely being the polite brother of his sister's best friend and nothing more .

"Doing well. It's great to—" Raudel let out a small chuckle. "— almost see you."

Chad tried for an offhand chuckle as well, but it came out more maniacal. Raudel extended his hand, and anxiety wreaked havoc with Chad's nervous system. Socially mandated touching hadn't been part of his Raudel-avoidance strategy. He was operating in the dark. Dashed to pieces was his hope of having all possible scenarios involving potential interaction planned out before Raudel's arrival.

In an attempt to prevent the moment from becoming too drawn out and awkward, Chad juggled the unwieldy box onto his other hip, then reached out to take Raudel's offered hand.

His mother's scream echoed across the lake before the boxed fountain had even crashed to the ground. The flimsy cardboard box broke open, the top part of the elegant wedding accessory jettisoning across the driveway, where it landed with a solid thump in the dirt. Chad gazed down in shock and horror at the remaining pieces of Lindsey's precious fountain scattered at his feet.

I am so dead.