5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lacey

This was my worst idea ever.

For all I know, Skylar could be a middle-aged woman with two kids and a barn cat. I have no clue what she looks like or whether she's even a university student. My chances of finding her at this overcrowded bar are slim to none.

Not to mention, it's insane in here. BEATS must not have a limited capacity because the place has been packed for the last hour and people just keep pouring through the doors. I lost my girl group about twenty minutes in, so now I look like the bumbling idiot who decided to roll up to the rival's club alone.

Off to a great start, Lacey.

Taking a deep breath, I approach a group of girls chatting amongst themselves at the tabletop bar. I paste a smile on my face and tap the shoulder of the blonde sitting closest to me .

"Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if you could help me find my friend. Her name is-

"Aren't you a little far from home?"

I hesitate, trying not to be intimidated by the menace in her gaze.

"Well, yes, but you see-

"Maybe you should go back to Taber." A dark-skinned girl sitting nearby shifts in her chair to sneer, "We don't like cubs here in Silverwood."

I laugh awkwardly, clutching my purse like it's a lifeline.

"Oh, I'm not here to stay. I'll be gone in a couple of hours."

"Can you make it sooner?" The blonde tilts her head, "Everyone would really appreciate it. Your friend included, I'm sure."

I stumble back like she hit me. Blinking fast, I'm scrambling to come up with a dignified response when a smooth voice flows over me.

"Ladies. That's not how we treat special guests, now is it?"

A dark-haired guy steps forward and flashes me a smile, "What's your name, Beautiful?"

"Uh, Lacey." The blonde narrows her eyes at me and I quickly turn on my heel, "Thank you for your help but I need to go."

"Woah! Where are you running off to? We were just getting to know each other."

The guy goes to grab my arm but I jump out of reach. Full blown panic hits my system as I scan the crowd, desperately hoping Cecelia and her friends are somewhere nearby.

I can't be alone with a guy like this .

Not again.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Walsh." The guy smiles and takes another step towards me. I take another step back.

"Nice to meet you. Now, I really must be going-

"Who are you looking for?" His eyes bore into mine and I clutch my purse tighter. The sunshine tissue is probably crushed beyond repair by this point, but there's nothing I can do about that now.

"You said you were looking for a friend. I can help you find them." Walsh tilts his head, his gaze dropping from my face to my legs, "I would really love to help you."

"I don't need any help. Please go away." My voice comes out muffled, the warning bells blaring through my head creating a sound barrier.

He grins and takes another step closer. I go to take another step back but the edge of the bar stops me. My lungs stop working as the realization hits me.

I'm trapped.

"Is your friend as pretty as you? Maybe we could all have fun together." Walsh leans in and I freeze, paralyzed by the memories breaking through my conscious.

"Stop." I whisper, trapped in the past that broke me the first time, "Please stop."

"But we haven't done anything yet."

He's so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Walsh, baby, I thought we were hooking up tonight. "

The sultry voice steals his attention and the moment he turns his head, I feel the spell break. Holding my purse as tightly as I can, I bring up my knee. Hard.

"What the fu-

Walsh keels over in pain and I shove past him, sprinting for the closest exit sign. I push through the line of Saber students still waiting to get inside and don't stop running until I reach the parking lot.

Come on, Lacey. You either love me or you don't. It's that simple.

I do love you I just don't think I'm ready. Not yet.

I guess that's an answer in itself.

"STOP!" I scream into the night and collapse on the ground. Nausea rises up in my throat as my shoulders start to shake and the memories pull me back into the darkness.

That's not fair. I do want to do this with you, but can't we wait just a little while longer?

This whole time I've been waiting for you, Lacey. Can't you see how unfair it is to ask me to wait even more?

But it's only been six months. I turned sixteen a couple of months ago.

So now you're guilting me? I see how it is.

No, that's not what I meant-

Look, I'm going to make this simple. Either show me how much you love me or I'm gone.

Can't we just talk about this ?

I'm tired of talking. All we do is talk. At this point we're basically friends. You make me feel pathetic.

That's not what I want.

Then show me what you want, Lacey. Show me how much you want me.

I curl up in a ball, right there on the uneven concrete, and cry. I cry until there's no tears left and then I cry some more. My skin starts to itch from the salty residue but my body keeps going. Even when my soul is broken, my body has always kept going.

My breathing starts to come in short bursts, the telltale sign I'm hyperventilating my way to a panic attack, but I don't care. I don't belong here.

I don't belong anywhere.

My purse tumbles to the ground beside me, the contents spilling out in front of my face. The bright yellow tissue hits my blurry gaze and I reach for it, grabbing on to the one thing that keeps me going.

The one person who makes me feel less alone.

Sucking down chunks of air, I start to reign myself back in using Skylar's calligraphy as a focus point. Gradually, my shoulders stop shaking and the tears run dry. I rub my cheeks to stop the itching and start collecting my things from the ground.

A bitter laugh slips out when I see the colourful romance novel lying on the dirty concrete. I pick it up and make my way back to Ava's parked car. The reflection of the darkened windows tells me all I need to know about my makeup's survival, so I do my best to clean up the mess. Giving my semi-decent reflection a sad smile, I make myself comfortable on the ground and open my book.

It might be fictional but at least in this world there are no broken girls.

Skylar

"What happened to you?"

I watch in amusement as Walsh limps his way past the dance floor. His usual charisma is gone and his boyish good looks seem to have vanished along with it.

"The model fucking bagged me." He snaps his teeth, an unflattering scowl crossing his face, "That bitch lured me in then cock shot me."

"The only person who lures around here is you."

"Fuck you, Skylar. Can't you see I'm in agony here?" Walsh groans and cups his package over his jeans, "I think she broke my dick."

I shrug, "If you learned how to respect women maybe you'd be walking right now."

"Would it kill you to be more sympathetic?" He groans again and hunches over, "Shit. I think I need to go to the hospital."

"The fuck is your problem, Walsh?" A blonde rookie walks by and claps him on the back, "You're gonna need a mirror if you're trying to see your asshole."

Walsh flips off the freshman before looking at me, "I think I need the ER. "

Ignoring his pleas for help, I turn and look back over the crowded bar. It's getting close to midnight and the students are getting drunker and sloppier by the hour.

"Baby Vin, I'm serious. You need to take me to the ER."

I flick my eyes back to his pained expression.

"Consider this to be your first lesson of consent."

He bares his teeth, "If Lacey hadn't fucked up my body, I would fucking break you. I wouldn't even care that your brother would come for me. Seeing your pathetic head snap back would be worth it."

My vision darkens as I turn and press a hand against his chest.

"What did you just say?

He laughs, "I said I'd fucking break your weak ass."

"No. Before that." My breathing grows shallow, "What did you say her name was?"

"Huh? Oh, Lacey but that's not the point-

I'm already gone by the time he finishes the threat. Heart pounding out of my chest, I start running through the crowd, searching for the dark-haired girl I saw earlier. Lacey.

My mystery girl.

I push my way onto the dance floor, scoping out the faces in search of the one I want. The longer I search, the stronger my anxiety grows.

I can't let her slip through my fingers.

Not when we were this close.

"Have you seen a girl in a purple top?" I grab the closest person to me, a familiar face from a couple of my art classes .

The guy blinks, shock written all over his face, "Since when do you talk to me?"

"That's not important. Have you seen her?"

"Don't think so."

I turn away, already moving on to the next person of inquiry. My question is met by blank stare after blank stare, but I keep going, pushing past the silence that has kept me safe all these years to find the one person who means everything.

The flower that brings colour to my darkness.

"Have you seen the dark-haired Taber girl? Tall, wearing a purple top?"

"No, I heard she was hot though. Let me know if you find her."

A headache starts to form as I work my way around the bar. Socializing with strangers is at the bottom of my shit list, and with every disappointing answer, my nonexistent social battery drops a little lower.

I'm almost completely burnt out when green hair catches my eye. I pivot and almost crash into the perpetrator herself.

"Watch where you're going." Cecelia bares her teeth and I take a cautionary step back.

"I'm looking for Lacey. Have you seen her?"

She narrows her eyes, "What do you want with her?"

I open my mouth to respond, but she cuts me off, "Actually, I don't care. Just don't drop her back home crying. God knows she does enough of that already. "

"Don't talk about her that way." My teeth snap together as a thread of anger weaves through me, "She's your roommate and my friend. Show some respect."

Cecelia's eyes widen and she takes a step back. Shame quickly replaces the anger when I see the fear in her eyes.

"I didn't mean to snap at you. Please, can you tell me where she is?"

She sighs, "I have no idea where she is, but if I had to guess, she probably escaped to go read somewhere. That girl always has a book in her hand."

"Thank you."

I watch her disappear into the crowd, my mind racing to think of a quiet spot Lacey could have found. One immediately springs to mind and I go running for the side door.

A brisk breeze slaps my face, the refreshing break from the bar's humidity ruined by the cigarette smoke filling the air. Holding back a cough, I start walking around the small smoke pit, the flickering overhead lights making it look like a scene from a horror movie. I blink through the haze, peering at every face I pass by.

The adrenalin starts to fade when I reach the end of the section and look at the couple making out in the corner.

"Have you seen a girl in a purple top? Long dark hair? Might have been holding a book?"

The guy breaks away from his partner and gives me a smile.

"Sounds like a special one."

I blow out a breath, "Can you answer the question? "

"Nah, we haven't seen her, have we babe?"

The girl tilts her head, mulling it over, "Is she the one from Taber University?"

I nod, feeling my spirits skyrocket.

She grins, "I heard she shoved Walsh's balls back up where they belong."

"He had it coming."

"Definitely. That man has been a creep since freshman year." She pulls a cigarette out of her flannel pocket and fiddles with it, "But to answer your question, no, I haven't seen her. If you find her, be sure to pass my thanks along."

The last bit of hope drains from my body. Numbness washes over me as I turn and walk back towards the doors.

I lost her.

My mystery girl was here in Silverwood and I fucking lost her.

Stumbling past the chain smokers, I'm about to slip back inside when a firm hand grips my shoulder.

"Stamp, please." The bouncer flicks his eyes to my wrist, "You need a stamp to get back inside."

My gaze drops to my bare wrist. Shit.

In my rush to find Lacey, I forgot to get a re-entry stamp.

"I don't have one."

"Then you'll have to get back in line."

He points to the front entrance where students are lined up around the block. There's only an hour or so left until closing, so there's no way I'm getting back inside before it shuts down.

The burly man rolls his shoulders and subtly shifts into defensive position. I stare at him, wondering how many fights have broken out because of a missing stamp.

Probably too many.

"Okay." I take my leave before he can respond.

The echo of my shoes slapping the pavement gradually gets louder the farther I get from the club. I stare at the ground the entire walk to the parking lot, the weight of what I lost pressing down on me.

Pulling out my keys, I'm about to unlock my car when a sudden movement catches my eye. I jerk to the side, expecting one of my brother's goons to jump out at me, but no one does.

I wait five seconds, ten seconds, but nothing happens. Trying to calm my racing heart, I peer around the side of my car and squint into the darkness. The shift happens again, but this time I can see its someone sitting on the ground.

Curiosity drives my feet forward until I'm close enough to see the person using their phone flashlight to look at something. The light moves again and suddenly I get a clear shot of the person's lavender tank top.

My throat goes dry as my heart stops.

It's her.