23. Chapter 23

Chapter 2 3

Lacey

Mo is in the kitchen when I stumble in for a glass of water.

He's scowling at his laptop, a sweat-stained gym t-shirt plastered to his body. I eye him warily, unsure of how he's already worked out and fully functioning this early in the morning.

"I didn't know you worked on weekends."

He grunts, not taking his eyes off the computer, "I don't. Some moron pulled the wrong dataset for the quarterly report and now someone has to fix it."

Besides being the assistant coach for the university's lacrosse team, Nico's partner also works as a financial advisor for an international corporation. From what I've heard, most of the work is virtual and pretty flexible, although apparently not when someone pisses him off.

"Can you fix it? "

"Of course I can." Mo sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "But if people did their jobs correctly, I wouldn't have to."

I wince at the harsh tone and return my attention to rehydrating and crawling back into bed.

My mission becomes more difficult when my search for a cup turns up empty. Hesitating by the sink, I'm debating whether I should just drink straight from the faucet when Mo shoots me an amused glance.

"Bottom right cupboard. Don't be afraid to ask questions."

"Oh. Right." I clear my throat, bending down to open the right hiding spot, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Mo returns his attention to the computer in front of him but I can't bring myself to leave the kitchen. Staring down at the glass in my hands, my thoughts stray back to the conversation with Skylar last night, and I can't help but feel sad all over again.

Everyone makes it look so easy. Being in a relationship. Taking that intimate step with their partner. Nobody talks about the painful moments, the flood of self-consciousness that always comes with a lack of experience.

The frustrating part is I can't tell if it's because people don't like talking about the ugly moments or if I am just the exception.

"Did you have another question?" Mo's voice startles me, and I quickly look up to find him staring at me. I shake my head then pause, rethinking my answer.

"What was your first time having sex like? "

If he was surprised by my question, he doesn't show it. Thinking over the question carefully, Mo takes his time responding.

"I thought of it more as a milestone that needed to be checked off. The experience itself was fine, so I can't say I put much value on it."

"Right." My shoulders slump with disappointment. Turning to walk back to the bedroom, I'm about to drown in a pool of self-pity when a throat clears behind me.

"It wasn't until my second semester of university that I had sex with a guy for the first time."

I pause, turning back around. Mo flicks his eyes at me, a ghost of a smile crossing his face.

"Scariest moment of my life."

"You were scared?" Disbelief oozes through my tone as I stare at the man who holds the record number of varsity championship banners.

Mo nods, "Terrified. Thought I was going to pass out at one point."

"No way." Wandering closer, I pull out a barstool and sit down beside him, "Were you the bottom?"

"Of course not."

The candid answer has my laughing and Mo shakes his head with a smile.

"That didn't make it any better though. I knew that once I took that step, I could no longer label myself as straight. "

I frown, "But nobody knew you were bisexual until you and Nico started dating."

"It's not so much what other people think but what you think of yourself." Mo tilts his head, his eyes finding mine, "The most powerful perspective is always your own. It has the ability to change, to adapt and rearrange to fit a new piece of your identity, but at the end of the day it's up to you to make that change."

I mull over his words, taking a moment to let them soak in.

"Was it a good experience? Your bi awakening?"

He grimaces, "Do not use that term on me again. That is the worst thing I have ever heard."

"Sorry. It's a book trope."

He chuckles, "It's fine. I wouldn't say it was a bad experience, but looking back, I should have approached it differently."

"Do you mind me asking how?"

"Well, to put it simply, I did it for selfish reasons. My mother had just died and I wanted to feel like I had control over one aspect of my life. I didn't care about the guy I was doing it with, I couldn't even tell you his name. It was a jump in the deep end without a second thought about his feelings or my own."

He pauses, glancing at me, "I guess the lesson to be taken away is don't rush into things just because you feel broken inside. Once the sweat dries, you're stuck with the same problems you were trying to run from in the first place."

I fall silent, studying the man beside me .

He's strong in every sense of the word, but at the end of the day he's only human. A man who makes mistakes and does his best to learn from them.

"You've given me lots to think about. Thanks, Mo."

"You're welcome, Lacey."

I smile at him and he smiles back. There's something special about the people who enter your life through those you love the most and I think I can confidently say that I made a new friend today.

"I was going to go back to bed, but I have a better idea."

He raises a brow, "If you're going to keep banging my cupboards, I might have to go work in the office."

I laugh, "I was thinking more along the lines of ambushing Nico with a pillow fight. Would you like to join me?"

Mo glances at his work computer before looking back at me. After a moment, he reaches out and closes the laptop in front of him, putting a pause on the hard deadlines of the corporate world to help me wake up the man he loves.

"Absolutely."

I risk life and limb and borrow my brother's car.

Driving to Silverwood isn't the most scenic drive at the best of times, but when the car you're driving is making concerning noises, suddenly the drive feels unbearably long. Every splutter the vehicle coughs out has me clenching the steering wheel in panic, certain Lola is about to crap out on me.

Somehow we make the 45-minute drive without a call for help and by the time I'm pulling into the dirt parking lot, my palms are sweating for a completely different reason.

Scanning the street for any sign of Jerrell, I hop out and make my way inside the plant shop.

I make my purchase and force myself to walk back to the car. Jerrell has had a hold over me for too long and I am not about to let him ruin the town I've grown to call my home.

Despite the mental pep talk, relief still crashes over my body when I finally clamber back inside the manic vehicle. It takes a moment for the panic to subside, but once it does, I feel a tiny surge of victory.

I did it.

Jamming the gear stick into drive, I let the smile break clear across my face as I head over to the little house four blocks down.

Amber is in the front lawn, working on her garden when I get out of the car. Dropping her gloves to the ground, she limps over to greet me.

"Lacey, honey, I didn't know you were coming over! What a lovely surprise."

She immediately wraps me in a hug and I squeeze her back.

"I was hoping to surprise Skylar. Is he home?"

"He just came back from a run with his brother. Try the kitchen and if not, I'm sure he's in his bedroom." Amber grins, her eyes flashing mischievously, "Be sure to tell him how excited you are to go watch his track meets next year."

I laugh, "I'm not sure that will make a difference."

"You would be surprised. Go on, now. Don't let me keep you."

Planting a kiss on her cheek, I go racing inside the house. The kitchen turns up empty and I go running up the stairs, adrenaline and excitement fuelling my stamina just long enough to make it to Skylar's bedroom.

It's genuinely embarrassing how much I'm panting from that small amount of physical exertion. Forcing the thought aside, I knock gently against his door.

"I don't think he's home."

The voice comes from behind me and I scream, throwing up my hands and nearly hitting Skylar in the process. He ducks just in time, saving himself a black eye.

"Oh my God." I clutch my chest, panting in earnest now, "You need to give me a warning next time."

"That was my bad. I forgot to put on my bell."

I laugh, throwing my arms around him. Damp skin meets my hands and that's how long it takes for me to realize he just got out of the shower.

And he's only wearing a towel.

A blush stains my cheeks as I quickly pull away and try not to stare at the water dripping down Skylar's bare chest. I've seen him naked on more than one occasion, but there's something about a freshly showered body that should not be allowed .

It's too tempting. Even for someone like me.

"I didn't know you were coming over today." Skylar flicks his eyes over my face, the edge of a smile pulling at his lips, "But I'm glad you did."

My desire to check out the abs peeking out of the towel is nothing compared to the need to soak in the face smiling back at me.

"I wanted to surprise you with a present."

"You didn't have to do that."

"Hush until you see what it is."

My scolding tone has his smile growing even wider. Taking my hand, he pulls me into his room and shuts the door. He lets go of my hand, presumably to go put on some clothes, but I don't let him.

Grabbing his shoulders, I pull him flush against me, needing to feel that smile pressed against my own. It takes less than two seconds for him to kiss me back, the hard surface of his bedroom door digging into my back.

The bag that was hanging around my arm slides to the ground. Reaching behind me, I turn the lock on his bedroom door before running my hands down the naked torso in front of me.

"Flower." Skylar hisses out the word, his breathing uneven, "I can't take it when you touch me like that."

"You mean like this?" I smile, trailing a finger down those abs before stroking the bulge that's growing beneath the towel.

"Exactly like that. "

He goes to put his lips back on mine but I swerve, pulling a trick from his book and nipping the edge of his jaw. Skylar shudders, closing his eyes as I keep going, slowly kissing my way down his neck to his shoulders.

My fingers tug the edge of the towel and it comes loose, falling to the ground between us. Skylar's eyes snap open when I start kissing my way down his torso, my hands stroking him the way he taught me to.

"Maybe we should slow down. I don't want you… Fuck ."

The curse comes out when I press a kiss against the tip of his cock. Flicking out my tongue, I taste the pre-cum glistening there and look up with a smile.

"It's been a while, so bear with me."

"Flower. You don't have to do this."

My smile widens, "I want to."

And it's the truth.

I've lost count of the number of times Skylar has gone down on me. He treats me like a queen, worships my body like it's a religious temple, and never asks for anything in return.

He's so kind and thoughtful and always puts me first.

But today I want to put him first.

"You can stop anytime." Skylar swallows, staring at me with glazed eyes. I can feel his erection throbbing in my hand and yet he's still worried about my own comfort.

"I know."

Not giving him a chance to say anything else, I take him in my mouth. Gliding my tongue along his ridge, I swallow as much as possible before sucking my way back to the top. It helps that he's not that big, I can almost make it to the base before my gag reflex kicks in.

"Easy, Flower. Don't hurt yourself."

He strokes my jaw and I relax, focusing less on the deep pulls and more on the sensitive underside of his tip. Skylar's breathing grows heavy as I play with the spot he showed me in the shower, the suction of my lips and teasing pressure of my tongue making him come undone.

" Fuck. "

His hips thrust forward and I take him to the back of my throat again. Another curse slips out when my tongue hits the same spot, his hands threading through my hair as I suck him off.

"I'm about to come."

The warning doesn't impair my progress and I keep going until the salty stream shoots down my throat. Skylar is shaking by the time I sit back on my heels, his eyes glowing against the flushed state of his cheeks.

"That wasn't your present." I blurt out, suddenly self-conscious, "It doesn't seem that way, but I promise I didn't drive all the way here to give you a blowjob."

Giving me a heart-stopping smile, he bends down and presses a kiss against my lips.

"You never need a reason to see me. I will always be waiting."

Skyla r

She bought me a plant.

I study the white tinge of the leaves, the unusual colour making me wonder whether she picked it because it matches my hair.

"It needs a lot more sunlight than most succulents, but your window faces the south, so I thought it would be okay." Lacey gives me a bright smile, "You only have to water it a couple times a week and there's a fertilizer sample in the bag in case you want to replant it with new soil."

"Is it okay in this pot?"

"Yeah. I already transferred it from the original plastic container." She bites her lip, "If you don't want it though, there's no pressure to keep it."

"This is my first plant. Don't go stealing my firstborn now."

She laughs and the sound has my lips pulling into a smile.

We're both sitting on my floor, leaning against my bed while Lacey explains the intricacies of owning a succulent. Her face is alight with unbridled excitement as she walks me through the different watering techniques and I can't help but ask more questions just to keep her passion alive.

"I have this little watering can that is more of a mister… oh my God." She claps a hand over her mouth, staring at me with wide eyes, "Why didn't you say something? I've been talking about plants for the last half hour."

"I like hearing you talk about plants."

A flush creeps up her cheeks and she quickly looks away, "You can't let me go on tangents, Skylar. I'll put you to sleep in no time."

There's a shift in her voice, a quiet vulnerability that makes me think this isn't the first time those words have been spoken.

"Flower." I wait for her to look at me, "You could talk to me about plants for hours and I still wouldn't fall asleep."

"I'm such a nerd. I'm so-

"No." I cover her mouth with my hand, cutting her off, "Don't say that like it's a bad thing. You have the confidence to share your passion with the world and I have the privilege of witnessing it. It's a gift to be cherished, not an apology to be delivered."

Lacey blinks, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as I give her the last shred of reassurance inside me.

"I love all your pieces, Flower. The broken ones, the hopeful ones, the romantic ones. They all come together to form the mosaic you are and I love every single piece."

The tears spill over and I kiss away each one, cherishing the best present I have ever received. Her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me close enough to feel her fractured heart beating in time with my own.

I clutch her tightly, knowing there will never be anyone else. No matter what the future holds, no matter what decisions come to play, there will only ever be my flower.

For now, and for always .

Lacey sighs, "For someone who insists he's not a romantic, you have a terrible tendency of making me cry with beautiful words."

"Just trying to live up to your book standards."

She pulls away, brushing away the last of her tears, "You are the farthest thing from a book boyfriend a girl can get, but that might be my favourite thing about you."

I stare at her, unable to fathom how that would be something positive. Fictional billionaires and hot jocks sound a lot more promising than a tortured artist with anger management issues.

As if reading my thoughts, Lacey leans over and takes my hand. She squeezes it, giving me a smile that wipes the cobwebs of doubt clear from my mind.

"You're real."

Her words wrap around my heart in an unbreakable clasp of hope and joy. The sharp edges of my past are still there, slicing through the tissue every time I breathe, but the love flowing through my veins takes away the sting.

It takes away the pain of being broken.

"Sometimes I don't think you're real." I whisper, unable to tear my gaze away from her bright eyes, "Sometimes I'm worried that one of these days I'm going to wake up and this was all a dream. That you were nothing more than a dream."

"This isn't a dream, Skylar. I'll prove it to you."

She sits up and pulls her t-shirt right over her head. I can only stare as a sea of creamy skin marked by freckles becomes exposed, the teasing sight stretching from the waistband of her leggings to the black cups of her bra.

Taking my hands, she places them on her bare torso. I stroke her without thinking, my greedy fingers craving the soft texture of her body.

She shivers, "This is going to be more difficult than I imagined."

"What's going to be difficult?"

Lacey exhales slowly, watching my fingers dance along her skin.

"Having you draw on me."

I freeze, staring at her with wide, stupidly hopeful eyes.

"You still want that?"

She gives me a shy smile, "I'm ready if you are."

Nodding slowly, I push myself off the ground and wander over to my desk. I grab my sketchbook and the packet of body markers and return to my spot next to Lacey.

My hands are shaking when I open my sketchbook to the drawing I did the other night.

"Oh my God. Is that me?" Lacey lets out a gasp and leans closer.

Her mostly naked body is displayed in front of us, the sparkling smile lighting up her face from the edge of her lips to the crease of her eyes. It's some of my best work, but that doesn't change the fact I drew her nude without her permission.

"I should have asked if this was okay." I chew my lip, staring at the freckles on the page, "It's from memory so it's not perfect."

"It's so…" She trails off, staring at the lines of her body, "Beautiful. I love it."

"You're not upset I drew a naked picture of you?"

"Of course not." She sighs, reaching out to brush the pencil marks, "You made me look so confident. Effortlessly sexy."

"That's how I see you. Confident and sexy and nothing less than a masterpiece." I clear my throat, "There are a few designs I thought might work, but we can use this as a guide so you can show me where you want it done."

"Okay."

Pulling out my phone, I open the photo album I created the other day. It felt presumptuous making it before Lacey confirmed she wanted me to draw on her, but I didn't want to be empty-handed in case she did.

"Ooh, I like that one." She leans over and points to the silhouette of blossoming azaleas surrounded by falling leaves.

"There are a few things I can do with this one." Flipping back to the sketch of her, I run my finger over the lines of her body, "We could keep it small and simple, on your arm or your leg for instance, or I could expand it to cover the surface of your back."

She falls silent beside me, watching my fingers trace the outline of her body.

"Where would you want to put it?"

"It's not my body, Flower."

"But what if it was? "

I swallow thickly, looking down at the sketch in my lap. There are so many things I want to do, but only one has been haunting me from sunrise to sunset.

"I would start here," I tap the edge of her finger, "And work my way up, using your freckles as a guideline." Trailing my finger along the sketch, I hear Lacey suck in a breath, "Until I make it to your heart. Then I would head south," I brush the peak of her nipple before cutting across her torso to the opposite hip, "And take my time here. I would finish by working my way down to your toes, so there isn't a part of your body that I haven't marked."

"Wow." Lacey exhales heavily, "You've given this a lot of thought."

"You could say that."

She laughs, a breathless sound that has my blood simmering.

"Do you have enough markers to do that? Mark me from head to toe?"

I should tell her no. I should tell her it's a ridiculous fantasy that will never come true because it's too much too soon.

"Yeah."

Cursing myself for being a selfish bastard, I can't bring myself to look at Lacey while she thinks over her answer.

"Okay. Let's do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She blows out a breath, giving herself a nod, "This is going to be fun. "

I shut my sketchbook and climb to my feet. By the time I have everything ready, Lacey looks more excited than nervous, and the sight calms the racing pace of my heart.

Helping her strip off her clothes, I gently lay her down on my bed.

"Are you okay?"

I'm trying not to stare at her naked body lying on top of my duvet, but it's no use. My eyes drink in the sight of the pale skin glowing against my bedspread, the dusting of dark hair between her thighs, the hesitant smile painting her lips.

"I think so. Is this going to hurt?"

Reaching out, I brush the constellation of freckles running along her torso.

"It shouldn't. I bought special markers that are supposed to be better for skin."

Sliding my finger up her body, I observe the way she reacts to my touch. There's an initial flinch, a slight tension when I reach a new spot, but it shouldn't be a problem as long as I take it slow.

Lacey bites her lip nervously and the sight has me quickly pulling away my hand.

"We don't have to do this."

"No. I want to." She hesitates, looking me in the eye, "I'm just a little scared right now."

The words pierce my chest and I have to bite my tongue to keep from calling this whole thing off. My flower wants to do this, so I have to honour that.

But first I need to ease her mind.

Taking a marker out of the packet, I uncap it and offer it to her. Lacey takes it with wide eyes, watching me pull my shirt over my head.

"I'll go first then."