24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Cody

Stella attacks me the second we step through the door.

Her lean body latches onto mine, her strong legs wrapping tightly around my waist as we go stumbling through my dark living room. She starts kissing my neck as I flick on the lights, her tongue and breathless whispers making it difficult to ignore the growing bulge in my jeans.

I set Stella down on the kitchen counter and her cries of protest make me laugh.

“Don’t tell me you are actually hungry.”

I give nothing away as I take a step back and open the drawer below. She groans, laying back on my counter and making her shirt ride up in the process.

“You just ruined your own metaphor.”

I grin, turning on the tap beside her and running a cloth beneath the hot water.

“Did you like being called my main course?”

She huffs, coming up to sit on her elbows, “I did before we made this little detour. You had me wet and ready.”

I rinse out the cloth before bringing it to her stomach, “You should have more faith in me, O’Brien. Have I ever let you down before?”

She watches me closely as I rub the paint residue from her skin. My trek is slow but sure, carefully wiping away neon streaks with the precision of a surgeon. Her back arches as my meticulous cleaning goes further north, the angry juts of her nipples screaming at me from beneath black material.

Hooking a finger under the flimsy top, I tug it up and over her head, leaving Stella sitting half-naked on my kitchen counter.

It’s a sight I could get used to.

“Do I get to rub you down now?” Big blue eyes beckon me closer, almost distracting me from the mission at hand.

“Nope.” Tossing the cloth back into the sink, I pick Stella back up and carry her to the dinner table nearby.

Platinum hair splays out beneath her as I lay Stella flat on her back, the surprise on her face putting a smile on mine.

“So, no bed then?”

I grin, “I told you. I like to eat my food properly.”

She moans, lifting her hips to help me pull the skin-tight jeans off her. Her bright pink underwear goes next, and I don’t give her a second to think before I drop down and drag my tongue along her clit.

“Oh my god. You finally found it!” Her laughter turns into gasps as I push two fingers inside of her, sucking her bud between my lips as her slick folds welcome me.

“Yes! Right there, Cody.” Her fingers fist my hair, urging me on.

I obey, following her commands and pushing her to the point of release just before backing off and starting the process all over. Stella writhes on the table, her body bucking in protest when I do it for a second time.

“Stop being an asshole.” She grits her teeth, the grip on my hair tightening to the point of pain. I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.

I tsk, “Let me finish my meal in peace.”

“You are going to regret this five minutes from now.”

“Five more minutes? I think I can handle that.”

Stella levels me with a glare, and I respond by slipping my tongue inside her. She jerks as my fingers follow suit, and soon I give her the happy ending she’s looking for.

I wipe my mouth with a grin, watching Stella come back down from her orgasm. I’ve lived in this house for two years now, and I don’t think this table has ever been put to better use.

Stella

“Is this why you don’t drink alcohol?”

Cody traces my tattoo with a lazy finger, the bolded letters screaming out from my otherwise pale complexion. We’re lying on top of his comforter, naked except for each other’s company. After the dinner table episode, Cody and I finally made it to bed.

And as Donna would say dot, dot, dot.

“Yes.” I swallow, “If it weren’t for an impaired driver, my mother would still be alive.”

Cody’s eyes soften, “That doesn’t mean you need to punish yourself.”

“I don’t consider not drinking a punishment.” My words come out sharper than I intended but I can’t help it. Cody is poking a wound that never healed properly, triggering all my defense mechanisms.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” The finger tracing my tattoo veers off towards my spine, drawing indecipherable symbols along each vertebra.

I sigh, the tension leaving my body with each soothing touch, “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s a difficult subject for me.”

“I understand that, but you shouldn’t keep it bottled up inside.” Cody pauses, chewing on his lip before continuing, “You aren’t going to like what I have to say, but before you go on the offence, just think about it, okay?”

I nod, mentally bracing myself for impact.

“Have you ever thought about seeing someone? To talk about the accident and the panic attacks?”

I feel my hackles start to raise, a snarky comment forming on the tip of my tongue. But instead of letting it out, I exhale, remembering Cody’s request.

To ask for help is to show weakness.

My father’s voice rings through immediately, making me physically wince against Cody’s pillows.

“I can’t. It goes against everything my father taught me.”

Cody watches me silently, his face pensive.

I try again, hoping for him to understand, “Mo and I were raised differently. We don’t go around showing our pain to the world, it’s a sign of weakness. I haven’t seen my brother cry since he turned twelve and my father sat him down and explained the expectations of what it means to be a man.” My throat tightens at the memory, the one and only time my mother and father ever fought in front of us.

“Just because he’s a boy doesn’t mean he can’t have feelings, Jonathan.” Mother stands with her hands on her hips, the angry swish of her dress matching the tension in the air.

Father shakes his head, “When I’m gone, Maurice is going to need to be the man of the house. He can’t do that if he breaks under the slightest pressure.”

Mother throws up her hands, “A man is allowed to break! Everyone breaks, it is only a matter of where and when. There is nothing shameful about a woman who cries, so why should it be shameful for a man to cry?”

Mo sniffs next to me, his tear-stained face puffy and red.

“Look at him! No one will ever take him seriously like that.” Father whirls around, the look in his eyes making it clear there will be no more arguing.

“Maurice, get yourself cleaned up. I don’t ever want to see your cheeks damp again, do you understand?”

Mo turns and scurries down the hall as mother shakes her head sadly, “Don’t raise our children how you were raised, Jonathan. Times are different, and now more than ever children need support not judgement from their parents.”

For a fleeting moment, father looks guilty, “I don’t know any different.” He sighs, running a hand down his tired face, “I’m trying my best here.”

Mother rushes over to him, “I know you are. But you can’t be so cold with the children. One day I might not be around, and it’s going to be up to you to give them the love and support they need in this world.”

I back away, turning to run after Mo as father pulls mother close.

“Don’t go and we won’t have that problem.”

Cody clears his throat, bringing me back to the present.

“Did you do physiotherapy after the accident?”

I frown, confused as to where this is going, “Of course.”

“So, when your body needs help recovering, you provide for it, but when it comes to your mind, you just ignore it?”

I open my mouth then close it. Because as much as I hate to admit it, Cody has a valid point.

“I’ve never thought about it like that.”

He gives me a crooked smile, “It’s just something to consider. Not that I don’t love our morning panic attacks together, but it would be nice to see you wake up rested for once.”

I laugh softly, “Pretty sure I owe you about a month’s worth of sleep at this point.”

Cody chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss against my forehead.

“I’ll send you an invoice by the end of the year.”

We crawl under the covers together, limbs tangling together in a warm cocoon I never want to leave. Just as Cody’s breathing grows deeper, I reach over and grab my phone, setting my usual alarm for the next morning. Hesitating, I open my reminders and set a new one to look for trauma therapists near Taber University.

Cody is right, I do need help. The fact I have yet to wake up to this alarm in over two years is reason enough to at least look into my options.