Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Dragon

I asked my parents once, after I started kindergarten, why they had named me Dragon. Some of the kids in the class made fun of my name—said it wasn’t a real name.

“The same reason we named your sister Griffin,” my mother told me. “I’ve always loved mythological creatures.”

I’m not sure how the conversation went after that. No doubt I asked her about mythological creatures and what they were. But I don’t remember anything past that.

Because I don’t let myself think about Griffin.

I was four years old when Griffin was born, and she was blond and beautiful like my mother. I favored my father, with dark hair, but instead of his brown eyes, mine were what my mother called hazel. She said they were beautiful, and that I was her golden Dragon.

I was so happy to be loved by two doting parents. Parents who cherished me for everything I was.

Until, of course, they turned their backs on me.

When I was nine years old, I became a ward of the state and went to live in a group home.

And Griffin?

She vanished a couple of months later. I don’t know how or why, and I didn’t know about it when it happened. I was in the group home, and I wasn’t informed of her disappearance until years after the fact.

The only person I’ve trusted with some of my backstory is Jesse Pike, Diana’s brother-in-law.

And even he doesn’t know the worst of it.

But I have to admit, when he and Brianna came to me with the notion of my staying with Diana, I didn’t hate the idea.

Diana Steel is the embodiment of everything good in the world. She’s beautiful and intelligent, with a softness that is my complete opposite.

Being in her presence is like being surrounded by a halo of goodness. An inner light that could never allow itself to be enveloped by the shadows of my past. I certainly never expected her to go along with it, and I wanted her to know that there were no hard feelings. That’s why I stopped by her place tonight—to tell her that I had no intention of living with her, that I would be fine on my own.

I’m not sure what made her change her mind.

She seemed to think I was insinuating that she wasn’t a generous soul, that she didn’t want to help someone like me. That’s not what I thought at all. It’s not what I think .

I won’t lie, though. I’m glad she changed her mind. Not because her penthouse is more luxurious than any hotel room I can afford, but because being near her goodness…

I don’t know.

Maybe some of it will rub off on me.

Not that I’m a bad person.

Despite what my parents thought—and probably still think—of me.

I did not do what they accused me of.

I would never have harmed Griffin.

I loved her. I’m not sure I’ve ever loved anyone the way I loved my little sister. She was a blond-haired, blue-eyed angel, and I adored her.

I stop my thoughts abruptly.

I’m sober. And when I think of Griffin, I want to drink. I want to shoot up. I want to do everything I can to escape reality.

Because my reality is one without Griffin.

Someone hurt her all those years ago.

And I was blamed for it.

I wake the next day in my hotel room. I can’t say that I’m happy—I’m never happy—but I’m content knowing that I’ll be staying with Diana Steel. Funny thing is I don’t even have her number. I could easily get it from Jesse and Brianna, but I don’t.

Part of me wants to just show up. If I call her, that will give her a chance to change her mind.

Seriously, why would she want me staying with her? I don’t think she does. She’s just doing this out of the goodness of her heart. And to prove that she’s not a heartless bitch, I suppose.

I pack up my few belongings, and then I head downstairs to the dining room where I grab a plate of the free breakfast—a croissant, a couple of sausage links, and a portion of scrambled eggs.

Once I take a seat, I look at the croissant. It’s crescent-shaped, my favorite phase of the moon. I could’ve eaten my fill of croissants during the band’s stay in Paris, but instead, I chose the easy way out.

Drugs.

I took two groupies to my hotel room, and they offered me heroin. I said no.

They sucked my dick.

And one of them…

One of them had a tattoo of a griffin on her backside.

I thought I could handle it.

Turns out I couldn’t.

So I shot up. Got high. Rode the fucking dragon. My tox report showed fentanyl and Rohypnol, so God only knows what else I put into my veins that night.

I fucked up years of sobriety in the middle of the band’s big break.

I wasn’t sure Jesse would ever forgive me, but he did. He even forgave me enough to let me be his best man when he married Brianna.

I didn’t deserve his forgiveness, and I certainly don’t deserve to be staying at Diana’s house.

But my therapist always says not to feel guilty when someone offers me something. That I’m worthy. That I deserve it.

I still don’t believe him, but I am taking it. I’m taking it for selfish reasons.

Because I want to be near Diana Steel.

She’s beautiful, of course, and I won’t deny my extreme attraction to her, but that’s not what this is about.

This is about me surrounding myself with good. It’s about me having a place to stay so maybe I won’t be tempted to go to a bar…or worse.

I finish my breakfast, grab my duffel, and head to Diana’s.