Chapter 9

Kara sighed as she watched H'zim stalk away. She'd hoped he would open up to her, tell her more about this mysterious debt, but it seemed he was determined to keep her in the dark. He kept walking, heading for the distant hills and she had to fight off the urge to go after him, to ask him not to abandon her.

Don't be silly, she told herself. He's just walking, not leaving me. But she knew he would - it was just a matter of when. Refusing to dwell on that possibility, she went into the house, washed her face, and began her supper preparations.

H'zim returned a short time later, his face set in a stern expression, and took over the task of chopping the vegetables she picked, handling the knife with slightly terrifying ease. He didn't seem inclined to break the silence, but she did her best, talking about the garden and some ideas she had for expanding it.

He didn't respond to her cheerful chatter and she felt a sting of frustration, her earlier fear giving way to annoyance. She'd thought they'd made some progress, but he'd retreated behind his wall again.

But the time they sat down to eat, her appetite had disappeared.

"Can we talk about this?" she asked softly.

His gaze flicked to hers, then away.

"Not now, Kara," he growled, his tone warning her off, and she gave him a frustrated glare.

"Is there anything you're willing to talk about instead of sitting there like a huge, brooding statue?"

His face relaxed the tiniest fraction.

"Huge?"

Despite her annoyance, her lips twitched and she shook her head.

"He speaks at last."

His lips also twitched as he gave a half shrug.

"I've been thinking we need more supplies."

It wasn't a topic she'd expected, but at least he was talking again.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Chickens, as I mentioned this morning. A cow and perhaps a calf. Also, I don't think it's too late to plant some more grain."

"Probably not. And we could get some more vegetables as well - there's plenty of time before the first frost."

It wasn't until after she spoke that she realized she'd said we. There had also been a tacit implication that she would be around for the winter. From the way those dark eyes studied her, she was sure he'd picked up on both of them. She waited, heart pounding, but he didn't contradict her.

"There's an old automated wagon in the barn," he said instead. "Broken, of course, but I might be able to get it running."

She gave him a doubtful look. Very little technology existed outside of Port Cantor which meant that both knowledge and parts were hard to come by.

"Do you think so?"

"I'm good with my hands."

It was a perfectly innocent remark but her gaze flashed down to those big hands, remembering the way they'd gripped her ass, and she knew she was blushing. What would those big strong hands feel like on her bare flesh?

Stop it, she ordered herself, and took a gulp of water. But she could still feel the heat in her cheeks, and a warm ache in her core. She forced herself to start eating again, trying not to focus on the strength of his presence, or how attractive he was, or the desire that still smoldered beneath the surface.

When she snuck a quick peek at him from under her lashes, his dark eyes glittered, but he only cleared his throat and started running down the list of additional supplies he planned to get. She recovered from her embarrassment enough to make several additional suggestions.

After they finished, he washed the dishes while she picked up her sewing again, trying not to be distracted by the sight of him moving easily around the kitchen. She half-expected him to disappear again once they'd been put away but he joined her at the table again.

He talked about the farm's potential, and she found it easy to imagine the prosperous little farm he envisioned. It was a side of him she hadn't seen before and she wondered if it was a glimpse of the male he might have been under other circumstances. Her heart twisted as she realized how drawn she was to this enigmatic, brooding male. Why did she feel such an inexplicable connection to him, despite the almost palpable air of danger that surrounded him?

As her fingers moved deftly over the fabric, her curiosity got the better of her.

"How did you end up with this farm?" she asked quietly.

His jaw tensed and for a moment she thought he wouldn't answer, but then he shrugged, his body relaxing.

"S'kal, my brother, brought me here," he said, his deep voice low and even. "He knew I needed a place to…clear my head. Did you know this is part of a cluster of farms?"

"Yes," she admitted cautiously.

"Commander Temel, the leader of our squad, heard about the property and decided it offered a chance to start over for all of us. S'kal said the main farm where most of them live is more prosperous, but many of the smaller farms are abandoned and in disrepair. I simply told him I'd take the one that was furthest away from everyone else."

Her heart ached for him and perhaps that was what drove her to her own confession.

"I know about the main farm, although I didn't realize this farm was part of the complex," she admitted.

His gaze sharpened.

"What do you know?"

"Not much really, but I… I used to watch them occasionally." Her cheeks were burning again and she hurried on. "I heard laughter one day when I was picking fungi and I was curious."

And worried. It hadn't sounded like anyone was searching for her, but she'd crept closer to make sure.

"There was this big golden alien with a woman and a baby. They were laughing and they looked so happy that I couldn't help watching them."

At least until the laughter turned to kisses - and more - and she'd had to hurry away. The memory made her blush intensify, but H'zim only looked amused.

"That sounds like Naffon. He's the youngest member of our squad and a pain in the ass most of the time." His face softened for a moment. "But I'm glad he found a mate and he's happy again. He had a hard time after his brother was killed in the war."

"You knew about them?"

He shrugged.

"S'kal told me about him, about all of them, when he came to visit me." His mouth twisted in a half smile. "He kept coming back, even though I rarely spoke to him."

"Why not?"

She didn't think he was going to answer her, but he looked at her thoughtfully from across the table.

"It was easier to keep everything locked away. It was the only way I knew how to survive."

"Is that why you didn't join the other warriors on the farm?" she asked, her voice soft.

He looked away from her as he started rubbing his thumb over the scar on his cheek again.

"I didn't think they'd accept me," he muttered at last, his voice low.

"You mean because you were in jail? Surely they knew you were innocent?"

His eyes snapped back to hers, an odd look on his face.

"Maybe," he admitted gruffly. "Or maybe I just wasn't ready to be around others."

Her heart ached and she reached out to him, putting her hand gently over his.

"You're around me," she said softly.

His eyes heated, his gaze locking onto hers with an intensity that made her breath catch. For a moment, they just stared at each other, the air thick with tension. Her pulse raced, her skin prickling with awareness.

"It's time for bed," she said abruptly, breaking the spell. Her voice sounded husky, even to her own ears.

H'zim's gaze lingered on hers, his eyes burning with a fire that made her insides melt. Then he nodded, his face a mask once more.

"Yes," he agreed, his voice rough. "Time for bed."