6. Ava

AVA

I was trapped, alone in the campus darkroom after hours. My stalker was here. And he was coming closer.

Fear made me frantic as I heard heavy footsteps approaching the door of the darkroom. I lunged for whatever weapon I could find.

My fingers closed around one of the cold metal developing trays.

I crept to the door and held it over my head, ready to strike.

The door handle turned.

He was either here to destroy the photo I’d taken of him or to destroy me. Either way, I could not let him. Would not let him get away with it.

The door opened.

Light from the office blinded me but I still heaved with all my might.

My attacker easily caught the tray.

A familiar chuckle made me sag with relief .

“Breaking up with me wasn’t enough?” Cormac said, his clean scent of white linen wafting into my nose. “Now you want to kill me?”

I snatched the tray out of his hands and tossed it aside. “You eejit, didn’t you see the Darkroom in Use sign I’d put up?”

Cormac shrugged and slipped his soft manicured hands into the pockets of his pressed light-brown chinos, shaking his boyish sandy hair from his eyes, looking exactly like an advertisement for Abercrombie and Fitch.

Well-groomed. Preppy. Rich.

Boring. Vanilla. Safe , I mentally added.

“What are you working on so intensely that you’d avoid my calls?” he asked, shifting his head to look over my shoulder.

My cheeks flushed. I shoved Cormac out of the darkroom before he saw the photo of my stalker, the sole print hanging in the middle of the darkroom. “Get out. You’ll ruin my work.”

He backed up and I stepped out into the cool light of the office, making sure to lock the darkroom door behind me.

I shivered as a rush of cold air sent goosebumps over my skin. The outer office door was still ajar, letting cold air in from up the stairs. There must be an open window in the tower somewhere.

I marched over to it and closed it with a bang before swirling to face him. “How the hell did you get in? I locked this door.”

Cormac grinned and held up a small shiny key. “What, did you think I broke in?”

I strode toward him, hands in fists by my sides .

I wanted to shove Cormac right out the turret window because underneath my relief, I was disappointed .

Fucking disappointed that my stalker hadn’t come to face me.

What was wrong with me?

“How did you get a key?” I demanded. “You, and I quote, wouldn’t work for the pithy Dark Diaries even if you sucked my dick every day for a month.”

I grabbed at the key, but he snatched it out of my reach.

Cormac gave me that smug look that made me want to punch him right in his perfectly straight nose. “There’s not much that a handful of euros won’t buy me.”

Asshole. He must have bribed the janitor to cut him an extra key.

I held out my hand. “Give it to me or I’ll tell the dean.”

Cormac shrugged but he dropped the key into my hand. “Firstly, the dean is like besties with my da. Even more than your ma. And secondly, I could just get another key.”

I tucked the key into my pocket and crossed my arms over my chest, pissed that he wasn’t lying. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Cormac picked up my notebook from my desk and flipped through it.

I snatched it from him and shoved it into my bag. “Find your own leads.”

I’d started scribbling notes in there about potential leads in Liath’s disappearance.

No one except Lisa knew I’d decided to start investigating. And I wasn’t about to let Cormac know what I was up to.

I especially didn’t want him to find the important connection I had just discovered about Liath’s disappearance.

An important connection that I don’t think anyone else had made.

A connection that made the hairs on my arms stand up on end.

Cormac let out a snort as he held up his hands. “I don’t need to steal leads off you. I came to chat.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Well, I’m afraid now is not a good time.”

“When is a good time?”

“Never.” I pointed to the door. “Goodbye.”

I ground my teeth as Cormac ignored my not-so-subtle hint to fuck off and flopped into my chair with a horrible creak. He propped up his feet, nearly causing the desk to buckle.

He made a face of disgust. “This place is falling apart. I don’t get why you left us to work here .”

The Darkmoor Times office, located in the prestigious Regent Hall, had the best of the best.

A bright, airy, and well-insulated office space, brand-new computers and printers, an army of the latest digital cameras, and subscriptions to the best photo editing software.

Of course, Cormac didn’t understand why I’d give up a shiny office and unlimited newspaper budget that came with political strings to work for an unfunded (mostly online) student paper that could print whatever it wanted.

He didn’t understand why I would trade luxury for freedom.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You and I both know that the Times is a glorified mouthpiece for the dean. I want to investigate stories that mean something.”

“Really?” Cormac stared at the darkroom door. “So what are you working on that’s so… meaningful?”

“None. Of. Your. Business.”

He turned to me with a devilish grin. “Come on, Ava. You can tell me.”

He might have made any other girls’ knees buckle. Dazzling white teeth, boyish dimples, broad shoulders in a crisp white Oxford shirt under a light-blue sweater that matched his eyes.

But I saw the real Cormac underneath, the cruel brat whose entitled rage would cause him to snap if he didn’t get what he wanted.

As Lisa liked to say, even the devil can be nice if he wants something from you.

It was a test of character how a person acted when you didn’t do what they wanted.

“Sorry, would love to stay and tell you all my secrets,” I said, snatching up my bag. “But I was actually on my way out.”

Right now, I didn’t care that I was leaving behind my only evidence of my stalker in that darkroom.

The only thing I wanted to do was to get Cormac the hell out of this office before he got too curious.

And then to get the hell away from Cormac.

He hopped up with a beaming smile. “Great. I’ll walk you to your car.”

I made a point of locking the office behind Cormac.

As we twisted down the narrow, winding staircase, my skin prickled when Cormac placed his hand possessively around the back of my neck.

“Let go of me.” I tried to shrug him off.

But he wouldn’t let go. Instead, he squeezed to the point of pain. “What? Can’t a boyfriend help his girlfriend down the stairs.”

“You are not my boyfriend.” I struck his forearm with my elbow, causing him to let go with a curse.

I raced down the stairs as fast as I could, my heart beating out of my chest, my breath ragged as his heavy footsteps followed after me.

I fumbled to unlock the front door. Come on, come on.

His sudden presence seared against my back and his breath was foul against my ear. “You’ve made your point, Ava. You can stop pretending we broke up.”

“You’re fucking delusional, Cormac. We are over .” I wrenched the door open and stumbled out into the dark icy night.

Cormac’s cruel laughter echoed as it followed me. “ No one dumps me.”

“I did. Get over it.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention. I was being watched.

He was here.

My eyes scanned the edge of the woods. I couldn’t see him. But he was here.

Cormac stepped into my line of vision. “Hey, you look at me when I’m talking to you. Why then? Why did you dump me?”

I let out a humorless laugh. “You’re acting like an aggressive dick right now and you’re wondering why I don’t want you?”

I spun and began walking in the direction of my car.

Cormac followed on my heels.

He wasn’t being chivalrous. It was a threat. He wanted me to feel his presence. I was supposed to see that I was never out of his reach.

“What’s the big hurry all of a sudden, Ava?” he said, his voice growing hard.

At my car door, I fumbled with my keys. Shit. I was so close to escaping.

Cormac pressed me against my car and my keys clattered to the ground.

But I couldn’t move. He was pinning me to my door.

“You snobby little bitch,” he said, then he bit my ear and I let out a yelp at the sharp pain. “You’re not even a real McKinsey.”

“Get off me,” I cried as I fought against him, trying to push him off me.

But he was too strong.

He ground his cock right into my lower back. “You’re just an unwanted gypsy-blooded bastard child and you have the nerve to dump me ?”

Dread rose in my throat, thick and suffocating, making me feel like I was choking on it. Oh God, what was he going to do to me?

I squeezed my eyes, tears slipping out of the creases as I struggled to get free.

I heard a thwack .

Cormac howled in pain and stumbled back.

I was free .

A rock lay at my feet. Blood pooled on Cormac’s forehead.

That’s all I stuck around to see.

I snatched up my keys and with trembling hands, I unlocked the car door. I fell into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut, locking it as I started the engine.

Cormac yelled into the darkness as I drove away.

I gripped the wheel tighter, my heart still pounding from the chaos, but my mind kept circling back to him .

My stalker had thrown that rock at Cormac. My stalker had saved me.

Why would he do that?

I didn’t know him—aside from the fact that he’d been lurking in the shadows, watching me. Breaking into my room. Messing with my security footage and perhaps even Liath’s voice message.

He was my stalker .

Yet he threw that rock, creating just enough of a distraction for me to get away.

Why the hell would he help me?

It didn’t make sense.

What was his angle? What did he gain from helping me?

If he’d been following me, if he was dangerous, why would he offer me an escape? What kind of game was he playing?

Fear still flickered beneath the surface, but curiosity gnawed at me.

Was he protecting me? Manipulating me?

I couldn’t shake the thought—why would a stranger, my stalker of all people, step in like that? What was his endgame ?

Why would he care? Why would he help me?

Deep down, I feared he had only saved me because he had something even worse planned for me.

I couldn’t move.

The velvet of the couch underneath me was so cold it felt wet. Heart thudding, I tried to push up off the couch. But I was frozen in place. My mind screamed at my limbs to move but they just lay limp like my body had stopped working.

Panic gripped me.

Why couldn’t I move?

From the darkness a shadow distended and detached, a silhouette. A man.

He walked toward me, his footsteps echoing off the high ceilings.

A ringing filled my ears, high-pitched and relentless, drowning out everything else as if the world around me had gone silent, leaving nothing but the sound of my own rising panic.

No. Please, not him .

He leaned over me, his face in darkness. No matter how many times I had this nightmare I could never see his face.

“Sweet, sweet girl.” His sour breath swirled around my cheeks.

Fear closed its bony fingers around my throat, cutting off my oxygen.

I tried to breathe.

I tried to scream .

In my mind, I did.

I bolted upright, my lungs seizing as I gulped in air. My hands fisted in my sheets as I kicked out against fading ghosts.

A weak dawn filtering in between my curtains cast the familiar shapes in shades of gray: the massive chestnut armoire, the vintage writing desk Ebony bought me in Paris, the brocade wallpaper.

I was in a bed. In my bed at McKinsey Manor.

I was okay. I was safe.

There was no faceless man. No velvet couch.

It was just a dream.

A nightmare.

I shuddered as I flung my sheets drenched in sweat to the floor.

My alarm wouldn’t go off for another two hours, but I knew there was no use in trying to fall back asleep.

I splashed water on my face in my marble en suite bathroom. I kept the lights off so I didn’t have to see the remnants of horror on my face in the gilded mirror.

I grabbed for the pills that Dr. Vale prescribed, their clattering doing little to ground me. I thought I’d taken my pills yesterday but perhaps not.

I tapped two smooth round pills out into my palm and swallowed them down with a mouthful of water.

I held on to the sink, my head heavy as I let my breathing steady.

There was a real monster lurking at Darkmoor. I didn’t need to be making up my own.

Fifty minutes later I was walking back into the Dark Diaries office with three extra-large takeaway coffees from 3fe café in my hands.

Lisa was slumped in the armchair with her eyes half-closed. She reached out her hands and made grabby fingers. “You better have a good damn reason for making me come in this early.”

I shoved two of the coffees in her hands.

Lisa straightened as she glanced at both cups, setting one aside. She took a long sip of the other. “I’m listening.”

I pulled out my notebook from my bag and flicked through the pages until I’d reached the small hidden pocket I’d glued into the back cardboard. I pulled out the articles I’d torn from various newspapers.

“Look.” I spread them one by one in front of Lisa in a chilling tableau.

There were three articles.

About three girls, each article showing a college photo of each girl smiling.

Sarah Hickey.

Keela Hawkins.

And Liath Byrne.

All three were young and pretty Darkmoor college students.

All missing in the last two years.

But most telling of all… All presumed runaways.

The radiator spluttered and the clock ticked in the silence as it grew thicker.

Lisa’s face changed as she skimmed across each article that I’d laid out in date order.

She gasped as her gaze came to rest upon the grainy black-and-white photo of Liath in the last article .

The most recent Darkmoor girl to “run away.”

I ran my trembling hand through my hair, my eyes darting to the office door as if any minute I expected someone to crash through that door and steal me away.

“I went back over the history of Darkmoor,” I said. “There hasn’t been a single missing student since 1967. A rower who disappeared one morning, missing until his boat and his body washed up on the banks of the Liffey.”

I stabbed the articles of the three missing girls with a chewed fingernail that sorely needed a manicure. “And now in less than two years, there happen to be three? Three missing girls. Disappeared without a trace. And all of them just happened to be runaways ?”

My voice betrayed my disbelief.

Lisa sank back in her armchair, both her coffees forgotten on the side table, rubbing her arms as if a chill had gone through her.

She stared at me as she ran her top teeth over her bottom lip. “That’s a huge coincidence.”

“Or no coincidence at all.” I shivered, my eyes glancing around the tower as if I might spot someone listening in.

I leaned in and lowered my voice. “I think all these girls are connected. I think all of them were taken.”

For one long moment, Lisa just stared at me, a ring of white growing around her pretty hazel eyes.

The silence, broken only by the rattle of the radiator and a far-off dripping leak somewhere, swelled until it was deafening.

Lisa shook her head. “You’ve got to take this to the police, Ava. If you’ve found a connection—”

“No.” I sank to my knees in front of her, ignoring the crinkling of newspaper under my knees. “You can’t tell anyone.”

Lisa frowned. “What? But why?”

I grabbed her hands and leaned in. “Lis, either the garda are eejits and couldn’t put two and two together when it came to these missing girls. Or they’re covering it up.”

The blood drained out of Lisa’s face, making her freckles stand out even more. “ What ? You can’t possibly think…”

She trailed off, all the terrifying possibilities hanging like ghosts around us.

I swallowed down a knot in my throat. “I don’t know what to think yet. Which is why I need you to please keep this to yourself.”

Lisa let out a breath which lifted a strand of her red hair off her cheek. “W-what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to keep digging.” I stood and collected my newspaper articles, folding them and slipping them back into the secret pocket in my notebook.

By the time I’d finished, Lisa had knocked back one of the coffees and slammed the empty coffee cup aside.

“I’m going to help you,” she announced.

“No, Lisa. If I’ve uncovered something real, it’ll be too dangerous.” Speaking of dangerous… I glanced over to the darkroom where the photo of my stalker awaited.

Should I tell Lisa about my stalker?

Lisa placed two firm hands on my shoulders. “I’m helping. End of story.”

I let out a breath and nodded, relief filling me. I didn’t want to do this alone. “Okay.”

“But we do this carefully,” Lisa said. “And if it gets too dangerous, we stop. Right? ”

“Of course.” I avoided making eye contact.

Nope. Not telling her that Liath’s stalker was now definitely maybe stalking me.

Or that I now had evidence of him.

A photo that I could use to figure out who he was.

I unlocked the darkroom, my mind whirring over whether a reverse image search online would work or whether I’d have to break into the Darkmoor Times office to use their facial recognition software that was hooked up to Ireland’s National Driver License Service.

Ugh, Cormac’s office got all the best toys.

I slipped into the darkroom, the door closing automatically behind me as I flicked on the red lights.

I glanced to the string I’d left the photo drying on.

I froze. No. This couldn’t be.

It was gone.

My photo of my stalker was gone. No longer hanging on the line.

In its place was a lily, gripped to the peg by its stem.

My stalker broke in here last night and stole my evidence of him.

I glanced to where I’d left the negatives from that roll.

Fuck. The bastard had taken that, too.

I snatched the lily off the line and walked back out into the office to inspect it closer, turning the stem in my fingers.

It was a sweet shade of pink with petals that curled back daintily, the inside of the trumpet white and yellow.

Light, beautiful, and… familiar.

A memory slammed into me, almost knocking me off my feet .

“Those are Amaryllis belladonna ,” a man’s voice said as I stood beside him in his greenhouse.

He pointed at the pretty pink and white flowers that looked like starbursts.

“Belladonna Lilies. Aren’t they pretty, Ava? Just like you.”

They were. So pretty. The prettiest pink in the world. Would they smell pretty?

I reached out to tug a flower closer so I could push my nose into it.

His strong hand grabbed my fingers, crushing them, making me cry out.

“Don’t touch,” his voice turned cruel and hard. “ Never touch.”

I sobbed as I clutched my hand to my chest.

It wasn’t just the pain. His fury shocked me. Scared me as he towered over me, the gray light filtering into the greenhouse silhouetting his face.

“It’s poisonous.”

Back in the newspaper office, I sucked in a gasp, dropping the lily to the floor, glaring yellow pollen scattering around the petals. It was so delicate it barely made a sound.

“You know, it doesn’t matter how much coffee you bring me, it is never enough,” Lisa called out over the clacking of her keyboard, her back to me, unaware that my world had just tilted.

I ran through this new memory in my mind over and over as I picked up the lily by the stem with a tissue and threw it into the wastebasket.

Where was the greenhouse from my memory? Who was the man? Was he my stalker?

No. The man from my memory seemed a lot older than me .

Was it just a coincidence then that my stalker had left me this specific lily?

I sank into my chair and stared at the lily, half-hidden by the tissue.

My intruder, my stalker, took my evidence of him so he obviously didn’t want to be identified. But why not?

I thought about the rock thrown at Cormac which allowed me to escape.

He saved me last night. Surely, he wouldn’t turn around and threaten me? Hurt me?

Or did he save me just to taunt me? To play with me like a bored cat with a mouse before he took me.

Or was he keeping me alive for some other dark reason?

Did my stalker leave me this lily to send me a message?

And what was his message?

Was this lily a gift or a threat?