Chapter 20

The clunk of the vending machine near the hospital waiting room grated on Jonah's nerves. He paced along the wall of windows on the far side of the room. Three hours. Jonah smacked the glass with an open hand. They'd taken Noelle into surgery three hours ago and still no word. It had been touch and go in the ambulance, but the paramedic had worked with him to keep her alive.

"Easy, Doc." Decia rested her hand on his shoulder.

"What if…" He couldn't say it.

"Don't go there. You did everything you could, and now, we pray. That's all we can do."

He placed both palms on the glass and lowered his head. God… His mind spun in so many different directions his thoughts refused to gel. Wasn't there a verse that talked about the Holy Spirit stepping in during times of weakness? And Jonah had weakness in spades.

"Dr. Harris?"

He lifted his head. A nurse in scrubs with an untied mask hanging from her neck stood at the entrance of the waiting room. "Yes."

"Dr. Kincaid asked me to update you."

Jonah strode across the room. Decia, Matt, Alana, Juliette, and Raven joined him. "And?"

The woman smiled. "Ms. Burton made it through surgery. She's in the recovery room as we speak. Knowing that she's special to you, Dr. Kincaid is staying by her side to monitor her for the next hour."

Jonah's knees buckled.

Matt's hand shot out and gripped his elbow, steadying him before he face-planted on the floor.

He blinked away the black dots that danced on the edge of his vision and took three deep breaths. "Please tell Dr. Kincaid thank you."

"I will." The nurse turned to leave but stopped. "And Dr. Harris, from what I witnessed in the OR, you saved that woman's life. If you hadn't acted when you found her and helped the paramedic during transport, we'd be having a very different conversation right now."

"I did my best." And he had, just like with Cara. That's all anyone could do. He saw that now. "I'd like to see her as soon as possible."

The woman nodded. "I'll let the nurses know to come get you when they transfer her to ICU."

"Thank you." He knew the drill. Had lived it for many years. But that didn't remove his impatience to see Noelle for himself.

Once the surgical nurse had left, he and the others took a collective breath. Noelle had survived. He knew she had a few more hurdles to clear before she was out of danger, but so far, so good.

"Now that we know she's okay, I'll go get food from the cafeteria. We need to eat, or none of us will be fit to care for her." Alana grabbed Juliette's arm. "Come on. I need an extra pair of hands."

Without argument, Juliette joined Alana and disappeared down the hall.

Jonah dropped onto a waiting room chair. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands.

"You okay, Doc?" Decia rubbed circles on his back.

"Things could still go wrong."

"I know. But don't borrow trouble. She's alive. We can work with that." Her hand had stilled, but the warmth of her touch soothed his battered nerves.

"Why do I feel like one of your boys?"

Decia laughed. "Caring. That's what moms—and friends?—do."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

Two hours later, Jonah sat next to Noelle in the ICU. Cords and medical equipment crowded the head of her bed. Her hospital gown exposed the scars on her upper arms, and her pale complexion against the crisp white sheets tugged at his heart.

Her lids fluttered but didn't open. The nurses said she'd woken once since they'd moved her, but he'd yet to see it happen. Those quiet moments had given him time to reflect, and he'd come to a conclusion today. Now that he and God were back on speaking terms, the past no longer held him prisoner. Could he return to his previous job as an ER doctor? Yes. Did he want to? Probably not. However, he'd consider filling in for his hospital friends if the need arose. He returned his focus to the woman he loved.

"Elle, it's Jonah." He laced his fingers with hers. "Please, wake up, honey. I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours."

The beeping sped up. He glanced at the monitor and watched the line spike.

A nurse rushed over. He held his hand up, stalling her forward progress.

"Easy, honey. Calm down. You're safe." He brushed the hair from her forehead and kissed her temple. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Her head rolled into his touch, and her heart rate slowed.

The nurse studied the monitor, then nodded and returned to her station.

"Come on, Elle. Wake up for me."

Noelle's dry lips parted, then closed.

"Here." He dribbled a few drops of cool liquid onto her lips.

She swallowed the small amount of water.

"There you go. Now that your mouth isn't glued together, let's try an ice chip."

She gave a slight nod.

"You're sore from the endotracheal tube they placed down your throat during surgery. It'll go away soon." He added another ice chip onto her tongue. "That's enough for now."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You are more than welcome." He resumed his position in the chair next to her bed. "Can you open your eyes?"

She struggled, then her lids lifted.

"Hi there, beautiful." He smiled. "It's good to see you."

She shifted and grimaced. "Stomach hurts. What happened?"

"Let's not worry about that for a bit." He straightened the sheet on the bed.

She quieted, and he thought she'd fallen asleep, but her forehead scrunched. "Got shot."

"Yes." Jonah tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Rest. We'll talk more later."

"M-kay." Within a minute, she'd drifted back to sleep.

Jonah sat and stared at the precious woman lying in front of him. She'd stolen his heart before he'd realized what had happened. And to be honest, he didn't want it any other way.

He laid his head on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes. Thank You, God, for giving her back to me. I promise to take good care of her.

Once Noelle was coherent enough to remember their conversation, he planned to lay out his wants and dreams.

* * *

Sunday, 3:00 p.m.

The recliner had never felt so good. Noelle sank deeper into the cushion and closed her eyes, letting herself drift. She'd arrived home several hours ago, and Jonah hadn't stopped fussing over her. He'd stayed by her side at the hospital, refusing to leave except for when their friends forced him to eat or go home to shower.

When her parents had visited her hospital room, her mother had tsked at her bare skin. Jonah had about come unglued and faced off with the prim and proper woman. He'd stated in no uncertain terms that her mother wasn't allowed anywhere near Noelle until she changed her attitude. Her mother had stomped out of the room without so much as a goodbye.

The rejection hurt, but Jonah had stood up for her, and that was all that mattered. She'd never felt so loved in her life.

Since all of her friends had seen her marred skin, she'd decided to let go of the shame that had imprisoned her for so long—the insecurities forced upon her by her mother. Today, she wore a loose-fitting sleeveless top that did nothing to hide her scars.

"Can I get you anything?" Jonah ran his hand over her arms, then bent down and kissed her scars.

She jolted.

He arched an eyebrow.

"Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for." He smiled. "You'll get used to it."

The idea of her ugly skin as a thing of beauty—his words, not hers—continued to baffle her. But the way he treated her… Wow! She resisted the urge to fan her face.

"Feel up for a conversation?" He sat on the arm of the couch next to her.

"Sounds serious."

"It is."

Concern churned in her belly. Had she misjudged his interest in her? Nope. She refused to go there until she had a reason. "Go ahead."

He leaned in and clasped her hand. His gaze met hers. "Cara's death gutted me for years. Then I came to terms with her being gone. The suffocating darkness lifted. The memories no longer had a hold on me. But there was one thing I couldn't shake: the guilt from not saving her—failing her—that continued to consume me."

Noelle sat and listened. She knew about his guilt. Her heart ached for the man she'd come to love. First as a friend, and then as more.

"When I saw you lying in that pool of blood, a part of me died. I thought I had lost you, too." His Adam's apple bobbed. "My heart shattered. But one thing filled me with regret."

"What was that?" She squeezed his hand.

"That I never told you that I love you."

Her breath caught in her throat. Had she heard him right? "You love me?"

"More than anything in this world." He slid from the arm of the couch and crouched next to her. "I love you, beautiful."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She had no doubt in her mind that the man loved her, scars and all. "While Austin held me in that garage, I realized that I had trusted God with everything except my insecurities—the very thing that kept me from living my dream of a husband and family." She shook her head. "How could I have peace in the middle of Richard Nelson torturing me but not trust God with someone to love me?"

Jonah kissed the back of her hand but remained silent.

"At that moment, I decided that if I got out of there alive, I'd fix that problem." She licked the salty tears from her lips. "I love you, Jonah Harris. But more than that, I trust you to love me."

"Your trust means the world to me. I understand your fears, and I will do my best to make you feel special every day that God gives us together." Jonah stood and held her face in his hands. "I love you."

He closed the distance. His lips brushed hers, their touch soft and gentle.

Her inexperience worried her for a moment, then she melted into his touch.

As if he'd waited for her uncertainties to fade, he palmed the back of her head. He drew closer, careful not to jostle her, and deepened the kiss.

When he pulled away, he rested his forehead on hers. "That could get addictive."

She struggled to slow her breathing. "And dangerous. You take my breath away."

"Then it's a good thing I'm a doctor." His smile warmed the remaining cold places in her heart.

Today marked a new beginning for Noelle. Her serial killer's body had officially been identified and the cold cases and current cases solved. She had a man who treasured her, scars and all. The road ahead would have potholes and speed bumps. But with Jonah by her side, for the first time in her life she was ready for whatever came her way.