Zie

I don’t tell Peony that it was us that killed the cat. I didn’t like the way her eyes shone with interest. I didn’t want to do it but Axel’s dad said it was important that we know what it felt like – taking a life – that it was an important rite of passage or something. Apparently flushing a goldfish down the toilet isn’t the same.

I don’t know. I hated it. I mostly watched. I didn’t even want to do that but as the baby of the group I can never show any weakness. I already have to work harder than the others to prove myself.

I don’t like Axel’s dad. He’s even bossier than Axel. Scarier too. Way worse than my dad. And probably even Kaiden’s. He’s just violent. My dad shouts a lot. But there’s something…dark about Axel’s dad and I don’t like it.

I don’t know why he has Axel making us be friends with Peony or why he wants us to kill things. Sometimes I think it would be easier not to be friends with Axel. But then my dad always pushes us back together or sucks up to his dad for some reason. My dad has started getting into politics and it’s making him even more of a nightmare than usual.

Axel and Kaiden are my best friends. I’m not denying that. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder if they’re the friends I would have chosen for myself, if I could.

Peony was forced on me too, but I have to admit she’s growing on me. If she weren’t a girl, she’d definitely be the sort of person I’d want to be friends with…If I could choose for myself.