Twenty-four

Gwendolyn

"Goodnight." I smiled at Hunter before I closed the door behind me. Leaning on the back of the door, I sighed, then quickly covered my mouth in case he heard it. I never understood such sentiments, such feelings before. I could barely identify them all. But what I knew without a shadow of doubt was that this man entranced me and that could be putting it mildly… I was falling in love with Hunter Matthews.

I attempted to separate the thrill I felt when Bently showed interest in my conversation during all those summers we spent together and when I finally saw him as a man, to when Josiah singled me out and asked me to dance the first time and all eyes were upon us, but neither one of those feelings compared to the acute ache that now enveloped my whole soul. The intense and raw yearnings of my heart, something that the organ never experienced to this degree. No, this was different. Quite different. And if Hunter had leaned down to kiss me just now, I would have kissed him back. That very thought tickled my toes.

But he didn't.

Though he demonstrated an attentiveness and kindness, even holding my hand on our return to our floor, he did not give me any indication he wanted more. In truth, all our physical interaction has been careful, guarded.

Thinking back to the dining room and the way he reached for me and pulled me to him made my heart swell. I loved that he responded quickly, and to say I felt safe in his muscular arms would be short of the whole truth. I fit perfectly within and, if I had a choice, that is the only place I ever wanted to be.

I recalled our first meeting and his inference about me being a second choice . I always assumed he meant Josiah's second choice, but could Hunter have loved another? He was pressed into the contract the moment he stepped back onto English soil with not a moment to breathe. Then I recalled the time that I'd seen him in disarray leaving the boxing house and he said he had two weeks of feeling out of sorts , the exact length of time he had known me. And the way he said out of sorts did not sound like a positive feeling. My heart pounded to an irregular rhythm as I sat on the edge of my bed. A sudden anxiety gripped my core and emanated heat throughout my body.

What had I done?

Could Hunter have set his cap for another, and this arrangement of marriage prevented him from being with the one he truly loved? Is this why he might be so reserved in touching me? This realization instantly made his hesitation seem all the more logical.

What had my family done?

I pressed my hands against my stomach. I suddenly felt ill, though little could be done to rectify the damage now. No wonder his father suggested I live elsewhere. Perchance could he have known of Hunter's previous love? Thinking they might continue their love affair without me interfering?

Oh, my heavens. I laid my head down on the pillow and stared at the painted ceiling above. Little childlike angels flew in all directions as if they were dispersing magical dust to dream.

Oh, no. My mind played cruel tricks on me. I didn't call for Daphne to help me undress. I only stared at the ceiling and wished I had been more vigilant in recognizing Hunter's heartache.

Eventually, as the embers in the hearth simmered and the darkness fell, I drifted off to sleep with the remnants of tears down my cheeks.

"Lord and Lady Penington have invited us to a musicale this coming Friday night, Gwendolyn." Hunter met me the moment I entered the breakfast room the next morning. "The invite faced a delay since it went to my father's house, but fortunately, we still have prior notice." Then he paused. "Forgive me for taking the liberty of accepting for us. I should have inquired of your interest first."

I had only just entered and stood gawking, as if I didn't know what to do next.

He studied me carefully. "Are you well?"

I nodded. "I assure you I'm not ill. I only lacked a restful sleep."

He pulled out my chair and offered to get me a plate for breakfast. "Is your chamber adequate? Is there something I can seek to make it more comfortable for you?"

I shook my head. "It is fine, simply a matter of getting used to a new bed." I stretched the truth.

As Hunter placed a plate of bacon, beans, and a scone before me, he smiled gently. "I hoped to claim an additional command today, but if you are not feeling up to it, we can postpone."

"You haven't asked your first and you are already planning on another?" My words teased but lacked a lightness in my tone.

He sat down beside me. "It is twofold, I'm afraid. One cannot be done without the other."

This piqued my interest and I watched him closely. He did not seem to carry the weight of a lost love or show pain of heartache, but he was a gentleman, nonetheless, and could conceal it if he must.

He covered my hand with his and the warmth seeped in like the scorching sun after a dozen days of rain. "You must ask yours first, love."

Love? This was the first time he'd called me that. My chest tingled. "And why, may I ask?"

"Because once I issue my command… well, two commands," he said with a grin, "we must leave posthaste."

I narrowed my eyes. He appeared so dashing in his playful, pleasing way. Could I be wrong about his feelings for another? Was my mind simply playing tricks on me?

"Very well." I pulled from my growing pile of questions I wanted to ask, but the one that truly turned my stomach could not reach my lips… Are you in love with someone else? I hesitated and gazed at him.

He brought my hands to his lips and kissed them, stirring my heart chaotically. His touch was so tender that it momentarily stunned me and left me wanting more. I then instantly forgot what had caused such restless sleep the night before.

"Lord Devon?" Henry appeared at the entrance of the dining room.

"Yes?" Hunter let go of my hands and waved him forward. Our butler held a silver tray that carried a missive and, from Hunter's furrowed brow, he may have recognized the handwriting.

I watched as he unfolded the letter and read its contents. His mouth pulled into a deep frown. My heart pounded. I could not recall seeing this expression on his face before. Could this be dreadful news?

Though Hunter didn't outright crumple the missive, his fingers crinkled the edges in what appeared to be frustration.

"Forgive me, Gwendolyn." He glanced over at me, then reached out and brushed my cheek with his fingers. "It's nothing to worry about." He sighed. "I intended on spending the day with you today, but my father has required my presence at his home posthaste. He has demanded I go over the books with him and his solicitor today."

"Then you should go," I replied.

He appeared torn.

Placing a hand on his sleeve, I assured him. "I'm fine, Hunter, I promise. I'm certain Julia and Davina would be delighted to come for a visit."

"Well, since I can't use one of my commands as planned…" He grinned. "Question."

Curious, I held my breath.

"What is your favorite sweet?"

"Sweet?" I had not expected this. It was no secret below stairs at my parent's home that I had a weakness for confections, so to limit it to one seemed quite difficult. "Um, I would have to say fairy cakes."

He smiled wider. "Because of the sponge cake or the sweet strawberry jam?"

"Both." I smiled back. "You certainly can't have one without the other."

He reached for my hand and kissed it. "Then I shall be sure to return with fairy cakes to pay restitution for the disruption of our day."

He stood to leave when I blurted out, "My turn."

"Yes, of course." He sat back down.

I bit my bottom lip. Up to now, I had only asked questions, and though I wanted answers to all my questions, I also wanted him to be at my will for once. "Command."

His smile broadened.

What in the world was I thinking? I knew what I wanted to command him to do but I was so dratted terrified. It wasn't as if I hadn't kissed a man before. "Um," my mind reeled as he patiently waited though kept his eyes securely on me. "Um, will you…" I bit my lip again. "Will you f—find an item at your parent's home today that reminds you of me and bring it back?"

Hunter's smile never waned, though I'm certain I surprised him.

Bringing my hands to his lips once more, he whispered, "You will be in my every thought, Gwendolyn. I will do as you command."

And he disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Though I assured Hunter I'd be fine, and I functioned reasonably without him before our marriage, I could not deny the emptiness that suddenly descended upon his departure.

After toying with my breakfast for part of the morning, I returned to my chamber and sent messages to both Julia and Davina to join me for tea. When they arrived several hours later, I had to admit the slight thrill I felt in hosting them for the first time as the mistress of my own home, though the interior presentation did not meet peerage standards yet. After our first evening in the parlor, Hunter urged me to use unlimited resources to design and furnish as I pleased.

"What theme or style do you suggest for this room?" I asked my friends as they each took a sip of their tea.

They both glanced warily at each other and smiled. Julia spoke first. "While we ordinarily delight in discussing fashion and décor, that is not truly what we want to discuss at this moment."

I tilted my head, then realized what they truly were saying, and my cheeks warmed.

Davina placed her cup down and asked excitedly, "What is it like being married, Gwendolyn, and to such a handsome man?" Then, without taking a breath, she continued to pepper me with questions. "What do you two speak of? Has he heard you play the pianoforte? Or seen you paint? Have you—"

"Davina!" Julia hushed her cousin. "Don't hound her so, can't you see she is not comfortable speaking of such private things?"

I placed my hands on my cheeks, knowing they were aflame. "It's not that I'm uncomfortable. I simply can't explain it all."

Julia arched a brow and studied me quizzically. "What has occurred in your first four days of marriage?"

I smiled recalling all the changes that have taken place. "Hunter has been so…" I paused. Many attributes could describe him at this moment. "He's been thoroughly attentive, warm, kind, and… well, he even went out searching the city for my paintings yesterday. All day long."

"He what?" Davina cried. "Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "He has shown great interest in my work." I hesitated to tell them about the game of Questions or Commands. For some reason, the game felt so personal, something that only Hunter and I shared.

"Well, I must say, Gwen," Julia said with a wink as she picked up a lemon tart. "I do believe you have found your happy ending, after all." With a broad smile, she took a bite.

That night, after several hours alone in the parlor painting, I retired to my bedchamber without seeing Hunter at all. Could the duke have truly kept him all day and night? This was a ridiculous question since I already knew the answer. To Chilton, the dukedom came before anything… including a four-day-old marriage.

The next morning, a surprise met me in the breakfast room—an overflowing plate of spongy fairy cakes, oozing with strawberry jam and a note. I picked up one of the delectable desserts in one hand and the missive in the other.

Gwendolyn,

Forgive me. My father feels that the entirety of the Matthews fortune relies on my immediate presence and business must be covered straightaway. He has obliged my presence again today, but to meet with his secretaries. I feel it necessary for me to acquiesce considering Josiah's negligence. He retained sole proprietorship of the Gottling estate, and it has been mostly ignored. On that same note, I can't wait to show you the property. I think you will love it as much as I do. Maybe we could even spend the summer there. Please know, I will do all I can to be home by the dinner hour.

By the way, love, I placed the item that most reminded me of you in my study. I imagine at first glance of the room, mostly due to its sparsity, you will know it's yours the moment you lay eyes on it.

Yours, HM

Two bites into the mouthwatering delight, I realized, in retrospect, that Hunter consistently showered me with gifts, yet I'd done nothing for him. He arranged for my painting supplies to be brought here, spent a whole day searching for my paintings around London, gave me a bouquet of snowdrops, and now these fairy cakes. How selfish I've been!

"Henry," I called. Our house was not so very large that he couldn't hear me from his position in the foyer and he appeared promptly. "Would you please advise Trenton that I need to speak with him?" I set the missive down. "Let him know I will be in the study."

He nodded and departed swiftly. If anyone could tell me about Hunter's interests, it would be Trenton. He was, after all, the one who sent us on the treasure hunt game a few days ago.

As I continued to nibble on the sweet treat, I walked hastily to the study. How well did my husband of five days know me? Curiosity ate at me as I entered. Glancing around, I noted the sole chair and felt even more guilty for not making sure that we furnished his study first. Then I saw his token in the corner and clamped a palm over my mouth, preventing me from both laughing and crying simultaneously. A marble statue of the goddess Aphrodite appeared. Though it did not reach the grand height of other statues I had appreciated at both museums and estate ballrooms, it was the perfect size for this purpose. Running my hand across the exquisitely carved sculpture, I admired the details of her long wavy hair, her perfect features and figure, and flowing robes that draped from her waist down—fortunately her hair covered her chest, for most depictions I had seen exposed much more. One hand held a scroll while the other tangled with her hair.

"You asked to see me, my lady?" Trenton's voice startled me. I got so caught up in the statue that I briefly forgot I had sent for him. He bowed in my direction.

"Yes." I tried to steady my nerves while reeling in the thought my husband believed the goddess Aphrodite reminded him of me. "I wish to do something nice for Hunter, but I fear I'm at a loss. Would you help me think of something?"

Half his lips lifted in a smile. "He will surely be most pleased."

"But we haven't even discussed what I shall do yet."

He clasped his hands behind his back. "I assure you, my lady, he will be pleased with anything when he learns it's from you."

A subtle gasp escaped my lips at the news. Was this true?

I paced around the room, slowly chewing on the tip of my thumbnail. "I know his apparel is in the peak of fashion, maybe a new cravat. Of course, he looks wonderful in every color. Or his cologne… such a tantalizing aroma…" I froze. What had come over me? From the moment I entered Minerva House, my comportment exhibited the highest form of structure and yet, here I was, biting a nail and mumbling to myself. I frustratingly sighed.

"I may have a suggestion, my lady," Trenton offered.

I spun around. "Oh, yes, forgive me, I was thinking, I mean, speaking aloud. Please, tell me your thoughts."

"I'm uncertain if you're aware of his pleasure in boxing, maybe a pair of boxing shoes. He has often complained of the slippery sole of his Hessians and occasionally has even fought barefoot."

"Boxing shoes?" I wasn't sure what I expected when I intended to ask Trenton about his thoughts. I supposed he would suggest something as simple as a new snuff box, timepiece, or cufflinks. Boxing shoes? And how often did Hunter truly engage in fisticuffs? "Wh—where might one find these b—boxing shoes?"

Trenton's lips quivered in the corners. Certainly, he recognized how ignorant I was.

"If you prefer, my lady, I will accompany you to Bond Street. Jackson's Academy keeps a significant supply for purchase. Since it is not a place a gentlewoman should frequent, I would be obliged to retrieve them for you."

"Yes!" I cried, then covered my mouth with my palm.

Trenton chuckled. This was the first time I'd seen the lighthearted gesture in my presence.

"Thank you." I nodded. "I would be most grateful for your assistance. Might we leave in the next quarter hour?"

"I am at your service, my lady." Trenton bowed.

The shopping progressed much easier than I assumed. I waited in the coach outside of the boxing academy as Trenton stepped inside with a handful of shillings and returned with a proper pair of boxing shoes for Hunter.

That night, I anxiously awaited Hunter's arrival in the parlor. He missed dinner, but I hoped beyond hope he might return before I retired to bed. For this reason, I continually dawdled in the parlor, though I must admit, I accomplished nothing. With no ability to concentrate, my painting, my needlepoint, even a simple song on the pianoforte went ignored. What had I become?