38. Aria

38

ARIA

I bolt upright, my heart hammering like a trapped bird as darkness claws at the edges of my vision. The room is dimly lit, with shadows stretching across the walls as the evening sun filters through the curtains. I blink, trying to gather my thoughts, but the sense of dread that washed over me in my sleep lingers, heavy and suffocating.

What have I done?

The memory of my encounter with Dash crashes over me like ice water, and panic tightens its grip on my chest. How could I let this happen? Every touch, every whispered word—it all felt so right, yet now it threatens to unravel everything. I sit up abruptly, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. My clothes are scattered across the floor, lying in lumps, an intimacy that now feels like a terrible mistake.

I scramble out of bed, my movements frantic as I gather my clothes. My fingers tremble as I pull on my jeans, my mind racing with the implications of what just happened. The fear of being discovered as an omega looms large, threatening to consume me.

Dash stirs beside me, a huge smile on his face, while all I feel is panic. "Aria?" he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep. "What's going on?"

I can't look at him. The weight of my mistake is too much to bear. "I need to go," I say firmly, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. "This never should have happened."

Dash sits up, confusion and concern etched on his face. "Whoa there, beautiful. No need to hit the panic button," Dash says, his trademark grin spreading across his face. "Whatever's got you spooked, we can handle it together. That's what we do, remember?"

"No, Dash, you don't get it," I snap back, frustration edging my tone. "This was a mistake. I can't?—"

"Just breathe, Aria. It's all cool. I'm here, and you're safe."

"I can't stay here. They'll figure it out," I mutter to myself, struggling to keep my thoughts clear.

"Hold on! Don't go off on your own. We're a pack, remember? We stick together, right? Plus, you haven't had my legendary latte yet."

"I'm sorry, Dash. This shouldn't have happened. It's not safe for any of us. I can't risk it." Tears burn my vision as he repeatedly includes me in his pack.

Pack-pack-pack. It's something that was drilled into my head all my life, and now that I've had a taste of what things are like with a good, decent alpha pack? Well, it's all I want.

Unbidden, images flash through my mind—familiar faces twisted in pain, eyes wide with betrayal. The phantom scent of blood and fear floods my senses. I shake my head violently, trying to dispel the visions. Not now. Not ever, if I can help it.

Dash's confusion turns to determination. "Aria, you're not thinking straight. Let's grab some breakfast and figure this out."

I shake my head, the fear and guilt too overwhelming. "I need to go," I say, my voice breaking. "I need to leave before it's too late."

I push past him, grabbing my things and heading for the door. Dash follows, desperation in his voice. "Aria, wait! Don't do this alone. We're a pack. We protect each other."

I want to be a part of their pack, but Noah will destroy them, and I can't let him do that. If I go, then Noah never has to know.

I pause at the door, torn between my fear and the bond I've started to form with Dash and the pack, but the weight of my secret and the potential danger it poses compels me to leave. I turn back to Dash, my eyes filled with sorrow and regret. "I'm sorry, Dash. This is something I have to do."

With that, I rush out, my heart breaking as I leave him standing there. As I flee into the early morning, the world seems muted and grey. The cool air bites at my skin, mirroring the harsh reality sinking into my bones. The familiar streets now feel alien and unwelcoming, a reflection of my inner turmoil.

With each step, my memories try to bubble to the top and remind me of why I'm walking away.

I don't need the reminder. I know why.

Hot tears blur my vision, turning the world into a watercolor of muted greys and blues. The salt stings my eyes, mirroring the ache in my chest. Every inhale brings the scent of the ocean, of Dash, making my decision all the more painful.

The streets blur as I run, my mind a chaotic mess of fear and regret. I can't let them find out. I can't let them know what I really am. The consequences would be disastrous.

I find myself at the end of the street, no bus stop anywhere nearby, as the ocean breeze brings with it the scent of saltwater—Dash's scent. I pause, if only for a moment, and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but the fear lingers, driving me to keep going.

I don't want to keep running.

My heart wages war against my mind. Every fiber of my being screams to stay, to be accepted, to belong. But the voice of fear whispers insidiously, reminding me of the danger. I want them. I want them to want me—all of me. But can I risk it?

I finally admit it. I want them to want the baggage that comes with me, and I want them to fight for me.

It's too much to ask.

I collapse against a stop sign, my legs trembling from the exertion and the overwhelming emotions coursing through me. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces of my shattered world together. The weight of my secret and the fear of being discovered all feels like it's too much to bear.

"Aria," a voice calls out, cutting through the silence of the morning. I look up to see Dash standing a few feet away, his expression a mix of determination and concern. He must have followed me, refusing to leave me alone.

Stubborn alpha.

"Go away, Dash," I say, my voice trembling. "You don't understand. I can't stay. It's not safe."

He takes a step closer, his eyes locked on mine. "I'm not leaving you, Aria. Not now, not ever," Dash says, his voice filled with unwavering resolve. "Whatever you're running from, whatever you're scared of, we face it together. That's what pack means. So please, talk to me. Let me in."

Tears spill down my cheeks as I shake my head. "You don't understand. If they find out… If they know what I am…"

Dash's expression softens, and he reaches out to take my hand. "What's that, Aria?"

All I can do is shake my head back and forth.

He can't know. If he knows, it's too much…

"Hey, it's all right." He nudges my chin up. "Baby, it can't be that bad."

"It's bad."

"Then you are with the best pack you could be with. We keep people safe for a living." He brushes my tears away. "We've got you."

His words break through the wall of fear surrounding my heart, and I let out a sob, collapsing into his arms. He holds me tightly, his warmth and strength grounding me, giving me a glimmer of hope.

"Shhh, it's all right," he murmurs, his voice filled with emotion. "I've got you." He presses little kisses to the top of my head.

I cling to him, my tears soaking his shirt. "I don't want to lose you," I whisper, my voice breaking, "but I'm so scared, Dash. What if they find out? What if they hurt you because of me?"

He pulls back slightly, cupping my face in his hands. "We'll deal with it, Aria. Whatever comes, we'll face it together. I promise." His smile is damn near radiant. "I won't ever let anything hurt you."

The sincerity in his eyes and the unwavering determination in his voice give me the strength to believe him. If I open up to him, to them, then maybe everything will be all right.

"Okay," I whisper, nodding. "Okay."

Dash smiles, relief flooding his features. "Good. Now, let's go back. I make a mean latte, and I think there might be some hazelnut syrup in the cabinet."

My breath catches as Dash mentions the hazelnut syrup. A warmth blooms in my chest, spreading outward and momentarily chasing away the chill of fear. Such a small detail, yet it speaks volumes about how much he cares.

I shouldn't compare, but Noah never remembered. I need that comparison, though, to remind me that Dash isn't Noah. I need to stop treating him the same as Noah.

I take a deep breath, the weight of my fear lifting just enough for me to breathe, and I give him a watery smile.

"I'd like that."

He leans down, brushing a kiss across my forehead.

"Besides, you took my knot. You think I'm ever letting you go now?" He laughs before muttering, "Who knew a beta could smell like heaven and open up for my knot?"

My heart crashes, but for now, I let myself believe in the possibility of safety and acceptance.