Chapter 14

Diego

The city lights blurred into a soft, comforting haze as we finally made our way back, our hearts still pounding from the dangers we'd escaped. We both didn't think we were going to make it, but we were thankful we did. So much passed. We barely made it out alive.

I had my arm around Rowan, his body warm against mine, and I couldn't help but feel a strange combination of relief and trepidation.

Was it really so easy? It still felt like the cartel would eventually show up out of nowhere and kill us. But, so far, nothing of the sort seemed as though it was going to happen.

We had made it. For now, at least, the cartel wasn't looking for us anymore. That was what it seemed like, anyway. We couldn't know for sure. To be honest, I didn't think that the boss would ever give up. Deep down, I knew he was still looking for us.

We changed our identities, melted into the city's anonymity, and settled into a life that felt almost normal. I didn't think I could ever feel that way about my life, but I couldn't deny that was exactly what I was feeling.

Then, weeks turned into months, and in that time, Rowan's belly had grown with our baby girl. Aurora. It took us so long to find a good name for her, but we were glad we took our time. The name was perfect.

Every time I thought of her, a smile tugged at my lips. She was our light, our hope, our reason to keep pushing forward.

Without her, we didn't think we would have made it so far. She was one of the reasons why we were happy. There were some complications in our lives, but I didn't think it was anything that took our peace.

Rowan was radiant, glowing with the pregnancy, and our home echoed with the sounds of laughter and preparations for Aurora's arrival. Everybody we knew asked about how he was doing. Most of these people didn't know about us. We tried not to tell anyone about our past.

Rowan sat at the kitchen table, leafing through a pregnancy book while I worked on fixing a broken cabinet door. Despite being so many months pregnant, he was still trying to learn as much about his pregnancy as possible. It was one of his best attributes. He always presumed he didn't know enough.

His face was alight with excitement, his fingers gently caressing his swollen belly as he spoke about our future. I listened, my heart full, but my mind often drifted to darker places.

I didn't want him to worry. I would never tell him about that. After all, it wasn't good for Aurora if he was worried about something.

The fear that Vincent and his men might find us never truly left me. How could it, anyway? The only way we would be completely relieved was if he died, but as far as I knew, he didn't yet. I knew that, eventually, he would do something stupid and get himself killed, but that day hadn't come yet.

I also knew the peace we enjoyed was fragile. One slip, one mistake, and our world could come crashing down. I kept asking myself when that would happen, which was one of the reasons why I had been doing something Rowan would disapprove of, if he knew. I kept it under wraps, making sure he didn't get suspicious. If he got distrustful, I knew he would try to know everything about that.

Thinking of our safety, I started making deals with a different cartel. It wasn't something I did lightly. I despised myself for it, but I did it for Rowan and Aurora.

I would never be doing this for myself. Before meeting Rowan and living for so long with him, I would never have even considered doing that. But now, because I was a different person, I had to do that.

I needed to ensure our safety, to keep them from ever knowing the terror I felt every day. If I didn't do that, nobody would. We couldn't rely on the police. After all, we were living under fake identities. If the police found out, we would be separated.

One night, as I sat in the dimly lit living room, my phone buzzed with a message. It was from Carlos, my contact in the new cartel.

I exhaled, wondering what it was about. Hopefully, it was about something good. I was working towards something. If I got lucky, it would mean that Vincent would never be able to hurt us again.

I read the message quickly, my heart slightly tight. I was nervous, but not too much. After all, I had experience with that sort of thing. I was mostly nervous because Rowan couldn't find out.

The deal was set, and Vincent's influence would be diminished. It was risky, but it was the best way to keep my family safe. I reinforced that thought, telling myself that there was no other way. And, considering what I knew, there probably wasn't.

Rowan walked in, his eyes shadowed with suspicion. Did something happen? Did he notice something? I was hoping he hadn't, but I couldn't know for sure.

He had noticed my late-night calls, my secretive behavior. I tried to do my best to pretend that those things were normal, but Rowan was more intelligent than that.

I tried to brush his concern off, but I could see the worry etched into his face. I forced a smile, telling him everything was fine, and that he had nothing to worry about. But I could see, yet again, he wasn't convinced.

That night, as Rowan came home from his office, he quietly took my phone and began reading my last conversation. I didn't notice until I walked into the bedroom and saw him, the screen's light casting a harsh glow on his face.

I exhaled. I should have done something about that. Maybe the reason why I didn't do anything was because part of me wanted him to know. If that was the case, that part should be satisfied. Rowan now knew what was going on behind the scenes.

His expression shifted from confusion to hurt to anger in a matter of seconds. I had never seen his face change so much in such a short time.

"Diego," he said, his voice trembling. "What is this?"

I felt my heart sink. I reached out to him, but he pulled away, clutching the phone like it was a weapon. I shook my head. This shouldn't be happening at all.

"Rowan, I can explain. Just give me a few seconds."

"You promised," he whispered, tears welling in his eyes. "You promised you would change, that you would leave that life behind. And yet, you didn't. That's what this conversation shows me."

"I did this for us," I said desperately. "For you and Aurora. I had to make sure Vincent wouldn't come after us. There was no other way it could be done. You have to understand."

"But you lied to me," he said, his voice rising. "You lied, Diego. How can I trust you now? Relationships should be built on trust. Without it, the end will always be the same. We can't be happy that way."

Rowan's face was red, his eyes filled with pain. "I can't do this," he said finally, his voice breaking. "I can't live like this, not knowing if you're going to bring danger to our door. I keep thinking about that."

"Rowan, please," I begged. And yet, I didn't think it was going to change anything. "I did it for you, for us. I love you. I love Aurora. You have to understand why I do some things."

"But it's you who doesn't understand," he cried. "I can't raise our daughter while you're still involved with a gang. I need you to be honest with me, to be the man you promised to be. I would rather you had told me what you were doing. I would have been able to prepare myself."

I felt a wave of despair wash over me. "Maybe I made a mistake," I whispered, my voice hollow. "I thought I was protecting you. Everything I do, it's for you and Aurora."

"Get out," he said, his voice cold and final. I took a step back. Was he serious about that? Did he really want me out? Then, upon analyzing his face, I knew he was serious. He wanted me out. There was no denying it. "I can't do this anymore, Diego. I need you to leave."

I stood there, stunned, unable to move. "Rowan…"

"Go," he said, tears streaming down his face. "Just go. Give me space."

With a heavy heart, I packed my things and left the house. I shook my head, finding what just happened unbelievable. After everything I did, everything we went through, he wanted me out?

The city was a blur around me as I walked aimlessly, the weight of my failure crushing me. I kept thinking about what happened, trying to figure out something I could do to fix things, but I couldn't come to a conclusion. I couldn't find an answer.

I had tried to protect them, but in the end, I had only driven us apart. I felt betrayed by Rowan, but deep down, I knew I had betrayed him first by not being honest. He had told me he wanted the truth from me every time something important had to be shared between us. I had told him that I would never lie.

I hadn't lied, but I did keep something crucial from him and because of that, he couldn't forgive me.

The night was dark and cold, the streets eerily quiet as I wandered. Part of me hoped that Vincent's guys would find me again, but it appeared that I wasn't going to get so lucky this time. I had been doing everything possible to stay hidden from him. No wonder I could feel relatively safe at the moment.

I had no idea where to go or what to do. I felt like a ghost, drifting through the city without a purpose. Some people glanced at me, wondering what was happening. I ignored them. Nobody other than me and Rowan had to know about our breakup.

Every step I took felt like a step further away from the life I had dreamed of with Rowan and Aurora. And, it was. As much as I didn't want to think it was, it was. Not much I could do about that, to be honest. I had to face things as they were.

I found myself at a small park, the swings creaking softly in the breeze. I sat on a bench, looking at nowhere in particular, and began to think about everything that happened.

Not only that, I also tried to find a solution. There had to be something I could do, but what?