Chapter 2

T he white stone wings on the altar looked down on me, in judgment or commiseration, I wasn’t sure. My emotions were a tangled nest of barbs and thorns that made each breath a laborious act. But as the cool shadows of the chapel drew me into their embrace, a flicker of hope ignited within me.

The Order and my calling, the blessings of the white wings, had yet to fail me.

I took to my knees on the purple padded tuffet and lit one of the thick candles.

“Blessed be the wings that shield us. Blessed be the wings that lift us up. Blessed be the wings that guide us. Give me peace. Give me strength of body and mind so that I may complete the task…the task ahead of me.” I swallowed past the pinch in my throat. “Fuel my conviction and temper my desires. Blessed wings, keep me forever in your embrace…please. I need your guidance. I need…” My voice cracked, and I bowed my head. “I failed, and I’m not sure I can go on. I’m not sure I have the strength to be what they need. To lie, deceive, and manipulate a monster into finding his way back to the light. How can I make him believe there’s still good in him when I don’t believe it myself?”

I was met with silence, but I refused to let the hollow of despair swallow me. “Help me…please…”

Warmth trickled up my arm as the blessed etchings flared to life.

What happens if you walk away?

Tears of joy pricked my eyes as their voice, the inner voice that guided me filled my head and my heart.

What will become of all the innocents if you leave?

“Loviator will be free. She’ll be free, and people will die. That is…that is if what Ordell and Hemlock are saying is true.”

Do you disbelieve them?

Did I?

Ordell had yet to lie to me. He’d hidden things, but directly lied? No. And Hemlock? As much as he kept his cards close to his chest, he hadn’t lied to me yet either, but I knew they were keeping things from me.

Then what will you do? What does your heart say you should do?

Stay. I had to stay. Obviously, I had to stay, but…I wouldn’t lie to myself or to Ezekiel. He was a monster, and I’d tell him that. From now on, he would get nothing but the brutal truth from me. No games. No manipulations.

If he was as enraptured by me as Ordell and Hemlock thought, then he’d have to earn my attention, not with awful deeds but by good ones, and maybe…maybe along the way he could find his humanity and break his curse.

The warm prickle up my arm died.

I had my answer, and now I needed a little time to find peace in it.

Tea was the cure to all ailments, but even the strongest, sweetest tea couldn’t chase away the bitterness of last night. The company of my team, however, was a comfort.

Merry’s eyes were red rimmed from crying, and Padma, looking naked and pale without her signature red lipstick, carried a deep frown that echoed mine perfectly. Edwin stared into space, index finger tapping on the rim of his half-empty cup.

Haiden carefully pulled a tray out of the oven and set it on the stove to cool. The smell of brownies hit me, evoking memories of better times. A sensory lie that I needed more than anything right now.

“What will you do?” Merry asked tentatively. “Are you…are you going to leave?”

“I wanted to. Believe me, I wanted to, but…No. I’m not going anywhere.” I’d told them everything I knew, about the Singers and their relationship to Ezekiel, about the curse and Loviator. My terms to the hunters, if they wanted me to stay and help, were clear. No more lies. Not to me, not to my team. I needed them. “We have till the end of the year to make a difference.”

“So how does it work? You help him get his humanity back and the curse is lifted?”

“That’s what Ordell and Hemlock said.”

“And if you fail, then this…Loviator gets out and wreaks havoc,” Edwin said. “I need to do some research.”

“We all should,” Padma said. “It’s important that we understand what we’re dealing with, just in case.”

“You don’t think I can do it, do you? Nurture his humanity?”

“Oh, I have faith in you, Orina, but how can you nurture humanity when there is none to begin with?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t know. Ordell and Hemlock believe he can be saved, that his obsession with me proves that he feels…something. I have to try. For all our sakes.”

“So you have to replace this woman who’s supposed to heal him?” Haiden said, placing a plate of brownies on the table.

“She might still show up. Maybe she wasn’t among the women he killed.”

“But how is she meant to heal him?” Padma asked. “What’s so special about her?”

I’d asked the guys this same question on the ride home. “They don’t know. Just that she always shows up—same eyes, same hair, different face, and they’re drawn together. Ordell told me that a few times Ezekiel has softened and almost changed, but in the end, she always dies.”

“How?”

Now this was the part that was fucked up. “Ezekiel kills her.”

Silence reigned while they absorbed this information.

“Are you sure they’re telling you everything?” Edwin asked.

“No. I know they’re not. But I trust that they’re telling me what I need to know. I don’t think either of them wants me to get hurt.”

“Do you think…Do you think Agatha was the woman this time around?” Merry asked.

I’d considered this myself. “I don’t think so. She didn’t seem particularly drawn to Ezekiel, and she had a fiancé who would have taken her out of Old Town soon enough. Either it was one of the others or…Or she’s still yet to arrive.”

“Let’s hope it’s the latter and you only need to step in until she gets here,” Padma said.

But if what Ordell and Hemlock had told me was anything to go by, then this woman, whoever she was, hadn’t done great in the past. She was going to need some help when she got here, and it would be my job to give it to her.

“Where are the guys?” Edwin said. “Back at the castle?”

“I don’t know. I told them I needed some space, but I’m sure they’re not too far.”

“They’re here,” Haiden said. “In their rooms. But they won’t bother you for the next couple days. I told them I’d take their meals up to them.”

Part of me felt bad for asking them to keep their distance, but the other part held firm, knowing that this was what I needed. I couldn’t recalibrate my emotions when surrounded by the two men who seemed to throw them out of whack every time.

The insight didn’t stop my feet from faltering at the top of the intersection that led to their quarters, though. There was a twisted comfort in their presence. In the fact that they’d been there, seen Ezekiel’s brutality, and would be my companions on the journey to hopefully save him. But it was also true that being with them was like fighting the tide. I was afraid that if I wasn’t careful, I’d be swept out into a sea where the only escape would come in the sweet release of a drowning breath.

I needed time to find myself again.

Locked in my old quarters, I was ready to close the chapter on this day and was about to get ready for bed when a tap, tap, tap at the window had me drawing my sword.

Only one creature ever visited via window, and he’d never done me any harm, but still, better to be safe.

I pulled back the drapes to find Godor clinging to the frame with his feet and the tips of his bat wings.

I shoved open the window a crack. “What do you want?” Godor pushed the window wider, his face a mask of apology, and my heart sank. “Godor, don’t.”

“I sorry,” he said.

Warm air hit me in the face. His special sleep breath.

Panic fisted my lungs. “Godor…please, don’t…”

The lights went out.