Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

Bowen

I EXPECTED HEDD TO BE DAMN NEAR COMATOSE FROM PARTYING. That’s what made me hesitate. Even now, even hating him as much as I do, the thought of murdering a man in cold blood was one step too far. That moment of hesitation cost me.

Now I’m sinking to the bottom of the fucking sea with Hedd’s hands around my throat in an unbreakable grip. I pummel him in his face, but I might as well be punching the tide. He doesn’t feel it. If I’m doing any damage, it’s so minuscule as to be nonexistent.

The fucker doesn’t care that he’s drowning alongside me. Or maybe he’s not. I always suspected that in his berserker form, he can hold his breath for significantly longer than a normal human. It’s the only reason I can think of that Nox hasn’t killed him yet.

None of that is helping me right now, though.

Even with the thin shield of my power protecting him from crushing my throat, he’s doing a damn good job strangling me. Black spots dance across my vision. A handy trick, that, considering we’re surrounded by blackness at this depth.

Desperation is a live thing inside my chest. I can’t afford to lose control. We’re too close to the ship. I may not have killed the crew last time, but there’s no guarantee I can avoid it if it happens again. Even with my weakness, I could slaughter the lot of them on accident. I could slaughter Evie.

I have to … I need to …

The cold pressure of the depths presses against me as hard as Hedd’s hands. And we just keep sinking. His body is denser than a human’s. He’s acting the part of an anchor, pulling me down. He can survive this pressure. I don’t think I can. Not for much longer.

There’s no help for it. I have to strike now.

I press my hands to his chest and give a soundless roar of my own. I channeled my power into his ribs and sternum and heart, wave after wave after wave. It’s like fighting a mountain. But even mountains crumble eventually. On my fifth blast of power, Hedd’s grip weakens on my throat. I hit him again twice more for good measure. The final blast since his body is spinning away from me into the depths. I don’t have time to make sure I finished the job.

My lungs shriek for oxygen and my limbs feel leaden and slow as I start to fight my way to the surface. In desperation, I use my magic to propel me, but I’m once again dancing too close to my limits. It sputters in fits and starts. Or maybe that’s my brain slowly losing control.

Fuck. I always knew there was a possibility I would die by drowning. It’s a reality for anyone who lives their life at sea. But I don’t want to go out like this, not so soon after finding Evelyn. For all that she holds half my heart, there’s so much about her I don’t know. A lifetime of little details, each a treasure to unveil and discover. I’ll never get a chance now.

The water shifts around me. I tense, sure that Hedd has somehow come back from the dead to finish the job. But there’s no one around me. Only the water moving under my body and pushing me upward. Faster and faster until my upper body breeches the surface. I choke and gasp and frantically fight to ensure I don’t go back under, but the water is solid beneath my feet.

“Bowen!”

I look up to find Evelyn leaning over the railing, her gorgeous face a mask of fear. At her side, Nox stands with their hands outstretched, their eyes narrowed in concentration. They snarl when they see me. “I can’t hold you forever, you fool. Get up here.”

They saved me.

It takes twice as long to climb up the side of the ship as it did the last time. My lungs are on fire and every muscle in my body shakes. I can’t help looking over my shoulder again and again, half certain that Hedd somehow survived after all that. But he never surfaces. No matter how extended his ability to hold his breath is, he doesn’t have gills. He can’t do it indefinitely. He’s dead. He has to be.

Evelyn practically tackles me as I haul myself over the railing. Her hands are everywhere, checking me for injuries. She makes a pained sound when she reaches my throat and brushes her fingers over the tender skin there. “Oh, Bowen.”

I look over her head to find the deck filled with absolute carnage. There are easily twenty dead bodies. At first glance I’m not entirely certain how they died, only that there’s a lot of blood.

And there, leaning against the mast as if she has nowhere better to be, is the vampire. This is her work. I don’t know that I’ll ever be comfortable in her presence, but I can’t deny that she is a useful ally to have on our side.

Nox crouches in front of me, their expression serious. “I think it’s time we talked.”

“Yes,” I rasp.

“Give me two minutes.” They stand and turn to face the few crew members left living. Nox projects their voice. “We have to move fast. These poor souls were victims of the mermaid attack gone wrong. We eliminated the pests, but lost them in the process. Give them a sea burial and get this deck cleaned up. We sail at first light. I’ll file the report as soon as we put some distance between ourselves and Three Sisters.”

The surviving crew leaps into motion. There are no questions and no challenges to Nox’s order. We were right. The people here who follow them, follow them, not the C?n Annwn.

Evelyn helps me to my feet and slips under my arm. As we stagger after Nox in the direction of the captain’s cabin, I catch sight of Dia. She seems unharmed, and even gives me a saucy wink as I pass. Thank the gods she’s okay. I didn’t realize how worried I was about her until I see her alive and well.

Lizzie joins us in the cabin, still looking bored. Evelyn urges me into a chair, and I can’t help staring at the vampire and wondering at her complete lack of concern over murdering nearly two dozen people. If it affected her at all, there’s no evidence of it on her face. There’s still a coiled tension to her body that I suspect means she can burst into violence at any time. I don’t know why that surprises me. Evelyn has told me time and time again how dangerous Lizzie is.

But she pulled her punches in her fight with Evelyn. It gave me a false sense of security. I can’t afford to underestimate her, for all that she appears to be on our side. For now. There’s no telling how long that will last. It’s become clear she doesn’t actually want to kill Evelyn, but that doesn’t mean she’s safe for anyone else to be around. At least there’s some assurance that she will cooperate until we find the Crimson Hag and she gets her family heirlooms back.

What happens after that is anyone’s guess.

Nox looks around the room in disgust. It’s not particularly filthy, but there is evidence of Hedd everywhere. His clothes strewn about on the floor. Several racks of weapons leaned haphazardly against the wall. His desk piled high with bottles of liquor, to the point where it’s almost impossible to see the surface. A quick glance at the small open space reveals several notifications of tardy reports.

Nox sighs and crosses their arms over their chest. “I don’t know whether to thank you or cut your throats and be done with it.”

“I highly suggest you go with the former option considering we just secured you the captaincy.” Lizzie speaks mildly as she examines her nails, which only makes her threat more pronounced. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Nox is completely unfazed. They turn to the vampire. “I don’t know you.”

“You don’t need to know me. You know her.” Lizzie flicks her fingers at Evelyn. “So let’s stop pussyfooting around and get to the point. Like Evelyn said, we helped you out. In return, they want information. I want a ride until we cross paths with the Crimson Hag. A small price to pay for your new promotion. If you don’t cooperate, I’m sure there’s someone else among the crew we can convince to see things our way.”

I tense, ready to jump in if things escalate, but Nox just laughs. “I can see that you’re going to be a pain in my ass. Great.” They turn to me and Evelyn. “If I tell you this, there’s no going back. You’re either with us, or you don’t leave the ship alive.”

“We’ve already gone too far.” I take Evelyn’s hand and squeeze. She’s still hovering close, as if she’s certain I’m going to slide it right out of my chair. “Tell us.”

“Suit yourself.” They lean on the edge of the desk. “There’s a number of people who don’t agree with the way the laws are set up in Threshold. The C?n Annwn are more than capable of transporting people back to the portals that will lead to their home realms. There’s no reason that we don’t do so—except for control. It’s a power grab that ensures the Council won’t be questioned, and that the ranks of their hunters are always filled.”

It’s the conclusion Evelyn and I already came to. She saw the cracks in the system immediately. It took her practically smacking me over the head with them in order for me to see them, too. It still doesn’t explain how this rebellion is happening, and how they’ve gone this long without anyone noticing. “So someone decided to do something about it?”

“So someone decided to do something about it,” Nox agrees. They shrug. “I suspect sympathetic people among the C?n Annwn have been allowing trespassers to slip through their fingers for generations. It wasn’t until …” They hesitate and seem to have an internal battle with themself. Finally, they continue. “Our leader is someone uniquely situated to create a proper network. They are able to manage communications, and ensure that we are able to move more effectively toward our goals.”

“What goal is that? Getting people home … or something more?” Again, I’m nearly certain I know what Nox will say before they speak, but I want to hear them say it. There’s a feeling in my chest, a bubble growing that I’m terrified will pop. Evelyn is mostly joking when she calls me a paladin—at least I think she is. But the truth is that the label fits far better than I’ll ever want to admit aloud.

I need a cause to believe in. I don’t know if I’ll ever follow on faith alone again or without question, but maybe my loyalty means more that way. I don’t know. It’s something to think about later.

Again, Nox hesitates. It strikes me that they’ve had to be so careful with their words and how they carry themselves while serving on this crew. It must be strange to be asked to speak plainly. To be able to. “When’s the last time the C?n Annwn actually hunted? I don’t mean all of us sailing around on crimson-sailed ships, and I sure as fuck don’t mean those peacocks in the Council. I’m talking about the originals. I’m not certain they exist anymore. The only proof we have is the Council’s say-so.” They shrug, but the move is far too tense. “It’s above my pay grade. All I’ve ever wanted is freedom, and the life we live isn’t free. It just looks that way from the outside.”

At my side, Evelyn shifts a little. “You’re talking in circles. If you really want to be free, we need to remove the Council and hope the originals aren’t around anymore to take interest in the goings-on in Threshold.”

“Yes.” They look at each of us in turn. “It’s not time to make that move. There are too many captains like Hedd out there, too many crews who are happy to misuse the power that comes with flying crimson sails. If we remove the current Council, a new one will pop up in its place. They might not be in a place to make real change for years, or even longer. Making a public move is a huge risk and we’ll get a single shot at it. This won’t be a dramatic, quick battle. If you’re signing on with us, you’re signing on for the drudgery of a long-haul voyage.”

“Speak. Plainly,” Evelyn snaps. “We’re facing a choice just like we were facing when we first came to Threshold—join up, or die. The difference is that we’re going to sail around, pretending to be the C?n Annwn, occasionally killing actual monsters and saving people.”

Nox smiles thinly. “It seems I don’t have to speak plainly, after all. You understand me well enough.”

If we’re found out, we’ll be executed in a truly spectacular way. This goes beyond making a vow and running, or disobeying a direct order. This is out-and-out rebellion. I wrap my arm around Evelyn’s shoulders. “And this leader? Who are they?”

“Very few people know their identity, and you’ll probably live and die without finding out.” They meet my gaze steadily. “Can you handle that?”

“As long as you—and they—don’t require unquestioning obedience. I won’t spend the rest of my life moving about with my eyes closed. If I don’t agree with an order, I’m going to question it, and if I still don’t agree with it, I will not be obeying. Can you handle that?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” They swivel to face Lizzie. “You. Vampire. You’ve been awfully quiet since mouthing off a few minutes ago.”

“And interrupt this rousing speech?” She sounds absolutely bored. “As I said, the only reason I’m here is to get my family heirlooms. I’m hunting the Crimson Hag. As soon as I find that ship, I’m returning to my realm. Expect no vows from me, but I’m more than capable of pulling my weight and playing nice in the meantime.”

It’s hardly a binding promise, but I’m beginning to understand that it’s as close to one as Lizzie will get. I tuck Evelyn tighter against my body and look down at her. “Well? What do you think?”

She’s a little pale, a little scared. But her smile is genuine. “I do believe that your paladin ways are rubbing off on me. Let’s be the good guys.”