Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

Bowen

THE BED IS SMALLER THAN I WOULD PREFER, BUT THE UPSIDE is that Evelyn ends up sprawled across my chest. She falls asleep within minutes, her body loose with exhaustion and her breathing steady. Her presence is almost enough to combat the fears that come in the dark.

Nothing about this world is what I thought it was.

Not the C?n Annwn. Not the people. Not even the monsters.

There’s only one person who might be able to give me answers, and they are currently sailing away on the Audacity. Sometimes it’s months before we see the same ship again. Sometimes even longer. The only regularity among the C?n Annwn is the requirement to visit Lyari on an annual basis to present ourselves to the Council.

I always thought those annual visits were a waste of time, an unnecessary presentation of everything we’ve accomplished since we last stood before the Council. They already know the details of each hunt we embark on, courtesy of the required reports we submit through the magical relay system in each captain’s desk.

Now I wonder.

Are those visits meant to reinforce the authority of the Council, to remind us who we answer to—and the consequences of betrayal? I’ve heard of captains being stripped of their position, but I’ve never heard of anyone being put to death because they were part of a resistance against the C?n Annwn. Which doesn’t mean it never happened … only that the Council didn’t want to advertise that a resistance exists in the first place.

Nox would know, I bet.

I have no idea where Hedd is headed next, which means I have no idea where his quartermaster will be next. And they are the only person who can tell me what the fuck is going on. If they knew the location of this safe house, knew to send us here, then they have sent others. I don’t know if this underground organization has a leader, but if it does then I need to find them.

The problem is that they’re not going to allow themselves to be found by someone like me. Not until I prove I’m not a danger to them. I don’t know how to go about doing that without Nox. If I can convince them, then maybe they can vouch for me.

Evelyn lets out a cute little snore, and I cuddle her closer. No matter what else is true, I have her. She’s choosing me, the same way I’m choosing her. I just have to work hard to ensure I’m not signing her death warrant. This journey we’re on won’t be safe. But then, what about life is safe?

When Evelyn said she’d spend the rest of her days worried about me getting myself killed … I feel the same. If she left, I would spend the rest of my years wondering if she had many decades filled with joy and happiness before going out at the end of a life well-lived. It would drive me mad. I’d made my peace with that knowledge that I would always feel like I was missing part of myself once she walked out of my life.

I haven’t had a chance to really process that she’s staying. That she’s here in my arms with no intention of leaving.

I want to be worthy of this woman’s love. No matter what she says or thinks, I’m not there yet. Maybe I never will be. But that just means I’ll fight all the harder to honor her.

Her steady heartbeat soothes my racing thoughts and I find myself matching her slow inhales and exhales, my body getting heavy. I wrap my arms more firmly around her, letting the feel of her tempt me into closing my eyes. I fall asleep without any concrete answers, only the assurance that I’ll never get used to sleeping with Evelyn.

To waking up with the scent of her surrounding me.

When I open my eyes, the woman herself, however, is gone.

Moving hurts. I take stock as I sit up, but there’s no sharp pain. Just general bruises and exhaustion from the fight yesterday. My neck is the worst of it, throbbing in time with my heartbeat. I meant what I said, that I’ve been bitten by mermaids before and I’ve never seen an infection as a result. But Evelyn is right that we need to see a healer. Just in case. It would be unforgivable to let arrogance be my downfall.

It’s time to make the trek to Kanghri and throw ourselves on Cato’s nebulous mercy.

I find Evelyn in the kitchen, reheating another soup. When I raise my brows, she shrugs. “There’s not much in the way of perishables, and I don’t recognize most of the stuff in the pantry. So soup for breakfast it is.”

“I’m not complaining.”

“That’s because you’re a very smart man with good survival instincts.” She barely lets me take a spoonful of the soup before she says, “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but I just want to put this out there. It’s okay to be conflicted about your past. Both the past with the C?n Annwn and what came before. If there ever comes a time when you want to take a break from fighting for the greater good to find answers, I support that. I support whatever you need to do.”

“I love you.” Three simple words, and yet they shift my entire world on its axis. I hold her gaze. “I appreciate the offer and the support, but I meant what I said last night. Whatever answers my home realm offers, it ultimately doesn’t matter.”

“Maybe it doesn’t matter now, but that might change. You’re too paladin not to feel guilty if your personal questions override your cause. I’m just preemptively telling you that there’s nothing to be guilty about. No matter where you land on it.”

It’s tempting to brush off the statement again, but she’s right. “Thank you for preemptively absolving me of my guilt.” I grin.

“Oh, don’t play with me like that. You seem the type to adore your guilt. You find it highly motivating. It’s okay. It’s part of what makes you so lovable.” She pokes at her soup. “But don’t think you can distract me with all the love talk, even though I will never get tired of hearing those three words on your lips. You are seeing a healer today. End of story.”

I like how concerned she is about me. I don’t want her to worry, but it warms me all the same. It’s far too tempting to tease her over it, but I resist the urge. Barely. “Agreed. It’s been some time since I’ve traveled up this way, but if Cato is still in Kanghri, ze can finish patching me up.”

She gives me a long look as if I’m trying to trick her. “No arguments?”

“I’m a smart man, Evelyn, despite recent evidence to the contrary. Arguing for the sake of arguing is silly in this situation. We need me at full health to face our next steps.”

“Uh-huh.” She shakes her head. “Hurry up and eat, and let’s get moving.”

It’s not quite as quick as all that. Before we leave, we take the extra effort to ensure the safe house is exactly as we found it. I find a rack of wood tucked against the back of the building. There isn’t much in the way of trees on First Sister, so they have to haul the wood in with the other supplies. More indication of care and planning going into keeping this place ready for unexpected travelers. I bring some in to replenish the stack by the fire. It’s time that we could spend traveling, but it feels important to do this.

I find Evelyn sitting on the bed, holding the book again. “Do you want to write an entry of your own?”

“No.” She sets the book back in the drawer and replaces the false bottom. “This is for people going home. We’re going to be the ones helping those people. It’s better that there’s no evidence of us here.”

She’s right. That doesn’t mean I like the bittersweet look on her face. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She rises and brushes off her pants. “I’m not going to pretend that I won’t miss things about my realm. But ultimately, it’s like yours—in my past. Threshold. You. This rebellion, or whatever the fuck it is. That’s my future.”

I do her the courtesy of not commenting on the bruised look in her green eyes when she speaks. This, at least, I understand. We’ve both lost quite a bit to get to this point. Having a direction to head, a place to dig in and fight … it doesn’t make that loss go away.

Instead, I hold out my hand. “Let’s go.”

“Lead on, Captain.”

It takes longer than I would like to hike to Kanghri. After some debate, we decided not to take the most direct route. The location of the safe house isn’t exactly hard to find if someone is searching for it, but there’s no reason to advertise its presence—or that it’s in active use. Most of First Sister is deserted cliffside, with the majority of the population of Three Sisters residing on Second Sister. The sole exception is Kanghri, but it exists only because Mairi essentially overflowed its banks and needed somewhere to shove all the people who couldn’t afford to live on Second Sister. As a result, Kanghri is filled with tradespeople, rather than what passes for nobility in this part of Threshold.

Personally, I prefer Kanghri to Mairi for that very reason. It’s less pretentious for the sake of appearances. A waste of time and resources in my opinion.

We follow the coast to the south and then west toward the strait that runs between First and Second Sister. The sun is just starting its descent as we reach the edges of town. I reach out and grab Evelyn’s elbow. “Stay close to me.”

She raises her brows. “Is this place more dangerous than the ones we’ve been to so far?”

“In some ways.” For all that I prefer Kanghri to Mairi, I am not oblivious to its faults. Most of the tradespeople who work in Mairi live in this town, but there are a number of less than reputable businesses that run here as well. Each community in Threshold is technically self-governed, but the local authority in Kanghri is mostly for show. The true power runs behind the scenes and prefers to deal in the shadows. As C?n Annwn, it was not my domain to worry about local crime lords, but it still makes my skin prickle to walk down the streets of Kanghri. Today is no exception.

The sensation has nothing to do with the eclectic group of beings already out and about currently. The population of Kanghri is more diverse than anywhere else on Threshold. It’s not just people who are local to the realm on the other side of the island’s portal who reside here. They’re tall and gaunt to the point of being eerie, their skin various shades of gray that match the rocks that create most of the island of First Sister. Their fingers have several more digits than humans and their joints bend both ways, the better to climb with.

Intermixed with them are people who look human enough that they could have come from half a dozen different realms. There are also small populations of minotaurs, satyrs, and Aadi’s people. The name for the latter is a series of clicks and whistles that is incredibly difficult to replicate without a beak.

No, what makes my instincts spring to alert is the feeling of being watched that plagues me from the moment I pass into the town limits. I’ve never actually seen someone watching me—and I certainly don’t today—but the sensation is there, pressing uncomfortably against my skin. “Just stay near me and don’t steal anything.”

“Okay, look, I know I stole from you the moment we met, and yes, I did lift a few things off Hedd when we were on his ship, but …”

I take several steps, only to realize that she’s not at my side. I curse. “Evelyn—”

“Oh fuck.”

I spin around, responding to the fear in her voice. She’s not looking at me. She’s not even looking in the direction we are headed. She’s half turned to where we can see the docks. This late in the day, the space is filled with people coming back from work in Mairi. The crowds are quiet and orderly, no one pushing or shoving. There’s nothing there that should put that tone in her voice. Except … On my second look, I realize what caused her fear. Or, rather, who.

Lizzie.

As if she can hear my very thoughts, the dark-haired vampire pivots in our direction. She’s wearing different clothing than the last time we saw her—her fitted pants and shirt obviously sourced from somewhere on Threshold—but she still has that damned rifle over her shoulder. I can’t see her eyes clearly at this distance, but there’s no mistaking the way the hair on the back of my neck stands on end. She’s seen us. Fuck. “If we go into town—”

“It won’t work. We can’t be sure she won’t cause a scene. And if she does, other people will get hurt.” Evelyn takes several steps back, heading toward the cliffs we just came from. “We have to eliminate the possibility of collateral damage. Which means we have to run. Now.”

There’s no time to argue. Not when Lizzie is heading in our direction, her long legs eating up the distance. Even the crowd isn’t enough to slow her down. People scatter in front of her, minnows before a shark.

I’m right on Evelyn’s heels as we race out of town. This feels like a mistake, but she’s right. We can’t afford a massacre. Both for the loss of life, and for the attention it would attract from both local authorities and the C?n Annwn. The problem is that I am nowhere near full strength; not magically, and sure as fuck not physically.

Lizzie almost killed me last time. As much as I would like to blame that fight on a similar level of exhaustion, the truth is that the more I think about it, the more I am certain that she could take me even at full strength. Her concentration is too good, and her powers are too fearsome.

If she can take me, then she will certainly kill Evelyn.

We careen around the corner, breaking the line of sight. I hook Evelyn around the waist and steer her toward a narrow canyon that’s almost invisible from this angle. “Go in there. Hide. Create a shield. I’ll lead her off and handle this.”

Her breath comes just as harshly as mine. We haven’t even run that long, but after the fight yesterday and the long trek to town today, our stamina is at an all-time low. That doesn’t stop Evelyn from glaring at me fiercely enough that I actually take a step back. She points a finger in my direction. “You did not give me all those honorable speeches last night and this morning only to kill yourself by way of my ex-girlfriend.”

“I thought you said she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

Her jaw drops. “Of all the silly, useless things to focus on right now. I swear to the gods, Bowen—”

She never gets a chance to finish that sentence. A wave of agony hits me so hard that I stagger. It doesn’t stop. Instead my body lifts and flies several feet to slam against the cliff wall. I grunt in pain as I crumple to the ground.

“No more running, Evelyn.” The vampire is barely out of breath, and even in my current state, I have the presence of mind to wonder if she has to breathe at all. I suppose it doesn’t matter; she doesn’t need breath to kill me. She’s doing a damn good job of it.

“Stop it, Lizzie!”

I can’t make my eyes focus. I get the sense of movement and when the vampire speaks next, she’s significantly closer. “That’s not going to protect you. You’re wasting your time.”

“It’s not to protect me, you stubborn bitch.” Evelyn snarls out several words and her magic snaps around me. Between one beat and the next, she breaks Lizzie’s hold on me. The pain fades to a horrible throbbing, but at least it’s no longer acute. A shield. My brilliant witch put up a shield to protect us. But when I roll onto my side, my relief drains away into horror. She put up a shield, all right.

Around me. Only me.

On the other side of her pulsing magic, Evelyn climbs slowly to her feet and walks to meet the vampire.