19. Jeffrey

I gave Mutt three days. Three days of texting him with no answer, calling him with my calls going straight to voicemail, and casually hunting for him after work in all the spots I'd seen him in the past—before I decided it was time to actually look in earnest. Richard and Blair had offered to help when they'd been at my place, but I'd declined at first, because even I knew I was being paranoid.

He'll be at open-mic night.

That's what I told myself. It was at the end of the week, and Mutt had never missed one before. I had no doubt that he'd be back—from wherever he'd gone. Because at this point, there was no way his absence was because of the moon.

Right?

I mean, Richard had mentioned that Mutt might be a "special" case, but after scouring the internet and all the books Avery had ordered in for me, I couldn't find any mention of a moon lasting more than a day. A week was just…just…bizarre.

Which meant something was wrong.

When I'd gone to Mutt's house looking for him, I'd been quite literally kicked the fuck out. Theo's expression had been contrite, but he'd had a wild glint in his eyes that I didn't like.

"You have to go," he'd spat out, unusually manic. "Right now."

"Where's Mutt? Is he okay?"

"He's…fine. He went home." He urged me back down the driveway, but he looked guilty as hell.

"Okay, well, is he coming back?—?"

" Yes . Now go. Please."

Okay. Rude.

Fuck.

In a daze, I made my way toward Richard's car. I knew Theo had been acting weird as hell, but I did as I was told anyway, because what the fuck else was I supposed to do? Wasn't like I could storm a house full of werewolves. I'd start an interspecies incident. And even if I could, what was the point? I didn't even have my weapons with me, as my truck was still in the shop.

I knew Theo had said Mutt had gone home…but…sitting still made me feel like I was going crazy.

So instead of biding my time, waiting patiently, I enlisted the help of my favorite goth-twink and his golden-retriever-gigantor vampire boyfriend, and we continued searching for Mutt anyway. With every day that passed without word from my wolf, I felt like I sunk just a little deeper. I understood Lydia in a way now, because I'd never felt insane till Mutt disappeared.

We searched and searched and searched.

Searched downtown Elmwood.

Searched inside the club where I'd met him in his humanskin for the first time.

Searched the woods around Mutt's house, and gotten chased off by Theo.

Searched Benji's, where we'd had our first unofficial date.

Searched the beach where we'd played the night that changed everything. I even knocked on the door of the nearest house, despite how manic and unhinged I was certain I looked. Though, calling it a house was kinda a stretch. More like huge-fucking-mansion.

When a familiar-looking, tattoo-covered asshole opened the door and pretty much immediately slammed it in my face, I wasn't even mad. Because this had been a long shot. All of this had been.

But still, I couldn't settle.

"He's probably home like his brother said," Blair tried to reassure, his painted fingers tapping on the back of the seat as he swiveled around to face me.

"Yeah," I replied, because he probably was.

Just…

Something just …didn't feel right.

I could sense it.

Like there was an empty Mutt-sized hole inside me that hadn't been there before.

I was so obviously out of it, that I didn't even notice when Richard started driving. I just kinda sat there, shaking, and trying to figure out how to breathe again. Blair had twisted around to face the front again, his feet on the dash—the same way Collin had put his feet up in my truck when we'd had our little talk, and he and Richard chatted in low tones.

Familiar with each other in a way that ached.

I pressed my forehead to the cold glass, and pinched my eyes shut as the skies opened up above us and water spilled down the chilled glass. Fog trickled across the mountaintops, decorating the roads much the same as it had the night I'd crashed.

And I ached.

And ached.

And ached.

The party was loud. Bright. Crowded.

Blair and Richard had roped me into attending because apparently I "looked like a kicked puppy" and "needed to get my head out of my ass and do something fun." I knew the choice to attend was for my benefit, as Blair had never been big on parties, and I doubted Richard was either.

I didn't have the heart to tell Blair I hated parties. That I'd hated them ever since high school. But I'd gone to them anyway, because it was expected of me. No, no. That wasn't really true. No…if I was being honest—and I was trying to do that more nowadays, fuck you therapy…

The real reason I hated them was because in a lot of ways, they were an easy way to hurt myself. Lots of booze, lots of hands—becoming the person I only was when I hit rock bottom. Self-harm in the form of harmful decisions.

Even though Mutt was gone, and I felt more unanchored than I ever had before—I had at least made enough progress to know I didn't want to be that person anymore. Not the kinda man who punched brick walls, or cut his fingers on guitar picks. Or the kind of man who played his guitar till his fingers bled because sometimes the pain felt better than the ache in my heart.

I wasn't stupid enough to think I'd never relapse, but I was proud that I'd come far enough to recognize I was moving forward. Away from the backpedaling. Away from the merry-go-round and its traps. I didn't want to be life-of-the-party Jeffrey anymore. Golden-boy Jeffrey. Lydia's Jeffrey.

He was sunny, happy, and funny .

But he was fake as hell.

And I was starting to learn that the people who cared about me didn't want him around. Which was…weird but awesome too. That despite my surliness and general grumpy disposition, all my brothers seemed to prefer me this way.

"Drink?" Blair offered, holding out a beer bottle. I declined, because my stomach was already churning and I didn't really need to add alcohol into the mix. "You wanna dance?" His voice was louder than usual so I could hear it over the blare of the speakers.

I didn't get why we were here, at Vanity's party of all places. As the oldest daughter of the Rain family, Vanity and her sister Chastity were well known around these parts. Their fortune rivaled my parents', and Richard and I had grown up playing with the two sisters, often babysat by the same brother this party was being held in honor of.

Blair was way more forgiving than I was.

Even if this was a party for Vanity's brother and his fiancé to celebrate their engagement, and not for her at all. If I had my way, she'd be halfway down a ditch by now, but since Blair was better than me, we were here anyway.

After we'd discovered Lydia had been blackmailing Vanity, things had been strained. Her attempts on my brother's life, while fruitless and obviously coerced, would not be easily forgotten by me. Blair seemed to be at peace with how his life was though. And Elmwood was a small town, with an even smaller population of humans, so I guess I understood why he'd opted to exist peacefully rather than go down the murder route like I wanted to.

That didn't mean we were all buddy-buddy though.

It was a mutual avoidance.

Though Blair and I did say hi to Chastity—who just so happened to be both Blair's best friend, aside from Collin, and the blue-haired girl who had helped Mutt buy me dinner at the diner.

Pink and indigo lights flickered, blaring across Blair's pale cheeks and making him look kinda fucking ridiculous. Like Frodo Baggins or some shit, except wearing platforms and a t-shirt that said Bite Me on it. Blair had hickeys on his neck—courtesy of Richard—and I grimaced, disgusted when I thought about the two of them making out. It was hard not to stare at them, especially when his skin was pastier than an uncooked pancake.

Not that my skin was any better, but still.

Collin was right.

They were gross.

"Go have fun," I waved him off. Blair huffed, annoyed.

And then he pulled me to the dance floor anyway.

He was a horrible dancer. All jerky awkward limbs, like a five-foot robot. And somehow…Richard was worse . He moved like he had no hips at all, and yet—they were the happiest fucking couple at the whole party. Hopping and jerking and wiggling like fucking weirdos. Despite looking like a fucking train wreck the whole time.

It was…contagious.

"How the hell are you doing that?" Blair yell-asked, staring at my hips like I was fucking writing morse code or some shit. I was bruised as hell still, though they were healing, and wasn't even operating at my usual hip-gyrating level.

"Just copy me!" I yelled back, snorting out a laugh. He tried to mimic me but ended up looking like a horny penguin, and it was the funniest shit I'd seen in forever. When he nearly toppled over, I grabbed him, righting him before he started humping the air again.

"You trying to get the air pregnant?" I asked, unable to help myself.

"Fuck off, dick."

Gleefully, I enjoyed how dumb he looked for as long as possible.

Except Richard ruined it pretty quickly, because his gaze was hungry —of all things—as he dragged it over Blair's body, like he wasn't acting like a total fucking loser and was actually gigantor-catnip.

"Oh my fuck. Stop eye-fucking or I'm going to leave," I gagged, though there was no true ire in my voice. Somewhere around the third weird air hump I'd forgotten all about how miserable I was and how much my body hurt, and started focusing on the present.

"Eye-fucking?" Blair frowned, then twisted to look at Richard. His eyes widened. Then a wolfish grin split his face and he did the awful penguin-hip-jerk again. "Damn. This does it for you?"

More air humping.

Fucking Christ.

"Stop being gross!" I shoved at his shoulder and Blair fell over with a squawk. When he shoved me back, I cackled, letting him think he'd gotten the upper hand for just a second before I wrapped an arm around his neck and gave him a wet willy.

"Fuck-fuck!" He screeched like a tiny pterodactyl trying desperately to get free. "Let me go you freckled-fuckface."

I grinned, dragging him around the dance floor by the neck while Richard laughed his ass off behind us.

After we'd done a round, and I'd caught a glimpse of the guests of honor—a tall pink-haired twunk and the same asshole who'd slammed the door in my face—huh—I paraded Blair back to the spot we'd abandoned near the back of the dance floor.

Then I spent the next half hour trying to teach both of them how to move their hips.

Blair did not catch on.

Richard though?

Yeah.

He was a fucking natural.

By the time I decided I did actually need a drink—and maybe some fresh air—he'd graduated from an awkward robot, to somewhat passable at grinding. He looked ridiculously proud of himself, and the second I walked away I saw Blair grab him by the hips—and nope.

Ew.

PDA.

No thank you.

I snagged a water bottle and headed out into the hallway. And then when it was still too fucking hot out there—and there were way too many couples making out against the walls, I left the building entirely.

The moon had risen high in the sky, waning now that the full moon had passed. The stars winked between dark, drifting clouds. It was chilly out, the cool October breeze caressed my overheated skin as I hopped down the steps and headed toward the woods at the back of the apartment complex.

I wasn't sure what I was looking for.

Something was calling me.

Something that ached and burned deep inside me.

Pine cones cracked beneath my feet as I stepped beneath the shadows of the tree line, and took a sip of my water. It went easily down my throat, calming the heat in my body from the inside out as I sucked in a deep breath and tried to think.

I missed Mutt.

It had been a week now. A week without him. A week since he'd shaved his head for me, and told me I was wonderful. A week since I'd felt like the sun had shined.

I'd missed Blair when he had disappeared, but it had been a different kind of loss. This was…well…

This felt like one of my limbs was missing. I could feel Mutt's phantom everywhere I went, and it sucked. It sucked so hard. Because I barely knew him. And I knew I was acting irrational, and crazy, and obsessive?—

And I'd never been that kinda guy.

But there was something about the way his eyes followed me no matter what room we were in that made me feel like I wasn't invisible. I'd never known someone else's smile could make me feel whole. Never known I could crave the sound of laughter, or the thump of a tail just as greedily as I craved water.

I'd always wondered if you could be broken from birth, or if cracks were something that had to happen to you. Because I'd always felt like my edges were brittle, and I had holes on holes and holes.

I'd chased affection desperately, trying to fill the gaps. Pitiful, and weak, and broken.

Never enough for anyone.

Perpetually unlucky.

This was different.

Mutt was different.

He was the first person who had chased me.

And though it was weird not to be the desperate one, it made me feel settled in a way I never had before. And I missed his attention, even though sometimes I didn't know what to do with it. Even though sometimes he was so nice I felt like I was dying—because kindness felt like lies, and it was the one thing I'd never been able to stomach.

Maybe one day…if he came back—fuck, the idea of him not coming back was enough to make me sick—I'd stop second-guessing his warmth.

I'd be able to tip into it.

Because I could see webs now, see traps and monsters—and Mutt may have been a werewolf, but he would never hurt me.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

Snap , a twig broke somewhere behind me, and I twisted, alarmed. This is what I get for spacing out and not paying attention to where I'm going . The woods were dark and vacant. Stars dripped in the indigo night above. Trees stretched high, high, high toward the waning moon, half covered by rain-heavy clouds. The creak of the branches whistled overhead, and I was alone.

I was alone.

But I could feel eyes anyway.

Stop being paranoid, I scolded myself.

Stop it.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't.

More rustling.

Heavy breathing.

Even the crickets were silent.

I had no weapons on me. No way to protect myself. My phone was in my pocket but there wasn't any service out here—and fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was so screwed.

"It's not real," I promised myself. But it was a lie and I knew it.

So I bolted.

The wind whipped my face, branches swiping at my arms and legs as I tore deeper into the forest, away, away, away from whatever creature had stalked me there. The fuck is following me? I could hear the steady thump of footsteps now. Closer and closer.

And I knew, for once, I hadn't been acting paranoid.

There was a log up ahead and I launched myself over it, swearing softly under my breath as my knee skimmed its surface.

"It's fine, it's fine," I muttered, trying to self-soothe so I wouldn't full-blown panic. Why the fuck didn't I bring a weapon with me? I should have. Lydia had taught me to be prepared. Why did I go into the woods on my own? I hadn't even told Blair where I was going. Rookie move. Rookie fucking move.

I was good at fighting, but even I knew my chances alone out here in the dark with no weapon and no idea how to get home were slim.

I'm fucked.

I'm fucking fucked.

A tree loomed ahead, dark enough I barely saw it, its trunk thick enough to block out the gaps between the trees. Ferns brushed against my ankles, the damp scent of wet dirt filling my nose as I dodged around it. Moss brushed against my fingertips, cold, damp from the earlier rainstorm, and cushiony soft.

Breathing.

I could hear breathing still.

Behind me.

It was getting closer—closer—closer?—

Don't look. It'll only slow you down. Don't do it—don't?—

I looked.

Andddd immediately regretted it.

Because the second I stopped watching where I was going the whole forest decided to fuck me over. I tripped over a tree root and just barely managed to catch my fall. On my hands and knees now, with the wind knocked out of me, and my head spinning, I twisted my head around. Slowly, slowly, my heart racing–I finally caught sight of what had been following me—wait— wait .

Was that?—?

Oh my god.

"Mutt?" My voice cracked, acid burning in my veins as I stared at the very large, very beautiful man, loping along behind me. He paused, waiting, his head cocked to the side. And as I scrambled to my feet, I couldn't help but stare.

Mutt was wearing clothes that didn't fully fit again—I'd learned that he often borrowed from Butters and could only assume this was another stolen set. His eyes were luminescent in the dark, and though I knew he wouldn't hurt me, the part of me that recognized him for the predator that he was, shivered.

Trained on me hungrily, his blue eyes glowed, feral.

There was something…off about him tonight.

Something foggy and needy and wild. His fangs were showing, for one thing, his breath coming in needy pants as he stared at me from several yards away like I wasn't the man he'd been fucking—and instead, was a rather tasty rabbit.

I probably shouldn't have started running again.

But I did.

My legs burned, eating up the distance as I ran away from him, gooseflesh traveling up my arms, the steady beat of his feet on the damp ground making me ache for more.

Something awoke inside me as Mutt gave me what I craved.

Something primal and needy.

A little voice that whispered, maybe he's fast enough to catch you.

Maybe you want him to.

It was funny. Not even ten minutes ago I had been thinking about the fact that Mutt was the only person who had ever chased me—and here we were. Instead of fear, excitement settled over me. Fizzy and bright, electric in my veins.

A grin spread across my lips, my cock perking up as I watched him with open desire, running easily beside me, dodging between tree trunks, his eyes never leaving my face. His gaze was ravenous, swallowing me whole from several yards away, like he'd been starved without me.

As starved as I'd been without him.

"Hi, big guy," I managed, voice throaty, breathless, because we were still running. He gracefully loped along beside me, ducking behind, then to the left, around the front, and to the right again. Racing circles. Playing with me. His eyes flickering in the dark like a cat's.

Mutt made running look easy. All that muscle flexing as he leapt over logs, his eyes flooded with heat. There was a playful twist to his lips though, like he recognized I was enjoying this as much as he was. Like he could smell my stiff cock in my pants and the damp precum that slicked my boxers as my monster gave hunt.

Mutt didn't speak.

And I didn't expect him to.

I didn't know much about wolves, but even I could see that something was happening here. The way Mutt was watching me made me feel like a juicy steak. Wonderous and tasty, a morsel for him to devour. The hungry way his eyes dragged over my body made my cock twitch and my nipples stiffen up, tingling and almost painful as they pushed against the fabric of my now sweaty shirt.

I'd never seen Mutt more wild than he was then.

A beast in search of prey.

A hunter.

Just like Theo had warned me he was.

I hadn't realized till that moment what being a hunter might mean for a wolf like Mutt. And now that I knew, I didn't think I'd ever be able to get it out of my head. The way his pecs flexed and bounced. The shape of his cock, hard and trapped against his leg, the shape of it obvious even in the dark.

So I picked up the pace, and decided to give him something more fun to catch.

I ducked around a tree trunk, grinning as I felt the air rustle as he whooshed by, before I swiveled and headed back the way I'd come.

Leaping, ducking, running.

We ran laps through the woods.

My face was hot, my pulse pounding, my cock straining against my jeans. At one point, Mutt slowed beside me, only a few trees between us. I was close enough to see his nostrils flare and those dark eyes drag down to my cock.

A slow, wicked grin spread across his lips, his mouth full of razor-sharp teeth.

Fuuuuck that's hot.

I licked my lips and picked up the pace again, but I knew it was futile. There was no fucking way I'd be able to outrun him. That thought should've terrified me, especially with a past like mine. But it didn't.

Instead…it made me feel safe.

Because if I couldn't outrun him, no one else could.

And I had no doubt Mutt would go to great lengths to protect me. Hell, he already had.

Eventually, my body decided enough was enough.

Or maybe it was the log that decided that for me.

Because I leapt over it, a grin on my face, and my shoelace caught and I was…fuck.

Falling, falling, falling.

The cold hard ground smacked against my knees, causing my breath to rush out of me in a panicked gust. Goddammit. My foot's stuck. My foot is — My pulse raced and I scrambled to get free, the steady thump of Mutt's feet louder and louder as he neared, circling me like a shark.

"Fuck, fuck," I kicked my foot out, my bruises aching, my lungs burning. "Fuck."

There! Yes!

I got my foot free, already ready to begin the chase again?—

But apparently my hunter had had enough.

Because the second I tried to rise, there were teeth at the back of my neck and a hand snaking down to grip my cock between my legs, and I was—oh fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes. Yes yes yes. I jerked into the large, molten hot palm with a needy gasp.

Leagues of warm, sweaty werewolf crowded against me, teeth sinking deeper into my nape and turning me into putty.

The whine that escaped me was barely human, the sticky spot in my underwear steadily growing as I wheezed and melted. I knew he probably wanted a fight—that he craved it—but I couldn't…I just…

I wanted him so fucking bad.

I'd missed him.

I'd missed him, missed him, missed him.

The chase had been enough.

And now, I just?—

Docile and sweet, I pressed my face into the dirt, arched my back, and shoved my ass against his crotch. Mutt was hard. Because of course he was. He'd probably been hard since the moment he'd caught my scent. I'd been able to see his dick as we ran, but feeling it was different.

The thick, meaty length of him shoved against my ass. Greedy. Because he was always greedy when I was involved. He'd swallow me whole if he could.

"Good bitch," Mutt growled, voice low and throaty. "What a good bitch. So good."

They were the first words he'd spoken to me since he'd found me in the woods, and I shuddered, head spinning. All my thoughts fled at once. My cock ached and my hole clenched—still slick from earlier when I'd fucked myself on my dildo while I was waiting to be picked up for the party.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I felt empty .

So fucking empty.

I'd never wanted another man's dick like this before, but I found myself craving it now. Would it be warm? That was my main complaint with dildos. Took them a while to warm up. Would it feel as good as I hoped? Thick and velvety slick, hard—pounding into the places inside me that made my eyes roll back and my balls tingle.

"Please," I managed, voice rough. My nails bit into the dirt, the scent of earth clogging my nose. I wished then that I was a wolf. If I was a wolf I'd be able to hear Mutt's heartbeat, to smell him, to sense him with every fiber of my being.

There wouldn't be a single part of me that wasn't full of him.

My mind, my heart, my lungs, my ass.

Mutt growled, a low threatening sound when I started to wiggle. His hands were possessive as they bit into my hips, his teeth gnawing at the back of my neck as if to say "hold still." With a jerky thrust, he rutted against me, the full length of him pushing against my clothed ass.

I sagged again, though I ached to reach between my legs and get my pants open. I missed the hand on my cock the second it was gone, but hip-grabbing was good too. As was this, the steady needy twitch of his hips, like he just couldn't help himself.

Like he needed me.

Like his mind was so far gone he couldn't even figure out how pants worked.

I could admit I had a thing for his particular brand of manhandling.

"Please," I gasped out again.

Mutt, despite being half-feral, took pity on me. Because the hands on my hips, holding me still as he rutted against me, slid around to the front. Halle-fucking-lujah. Clumsy fingers tore at the button on my jeans. His claws pricked my skin—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make me shiver.

And then my jeans were being pushed down, and my ass was exposed—still slick—and Mutt was whining against the back of my neck like a man possessed. The wet hot crown of his cock pushed against my asshole, slip-sliding through my sweaty crease as he panted, needy and desperate—the same way I'd felt all week without him.

Before, if you'd asked me if I wanted my first time getting fucked to be in the middle of the woods with a werewolf, I would've told you to fuck the fuck off. But apparently…I hadn't known myself at all, because I found myself aching, greedy, desperate as Mutt rutted against me.

Every sweaty push of his cock inside my crack shoved his crown against my entrance. Kissing it. Teasing . Because I wanted it in, in, in, and he did too.

"C'mon, c'mon—" I gasped out, spreading my legs wider, as wide as I could with my jeans still half on. I wasn't sure when he'd gotten his pants down too but it didn't matter. Didn't matter as he grabbed my hips again and his rutting grew less controlled. Twigs dug into my knees, and the woods rustled around us, peaceful and quiet, as I sobbed, empty-empty-empty. "I'm ready," I begged, hole clenching. "I'm ready. I want you in. Please, please, Alpha. I need it—I need?—"

"Jeffrey," Mutt's voice was a low crackling warning, muffled because he refused to let loose the back of my neck.

"Please, baby. I need it. I need it?—"

"Just a little," Mutt finally conceded, muffled and slick. It wasn't much of a sacrifice, because it didn't take a genius to know that he wanted this as badly as I did. Little animal-like grunts and whimpers escaped him. And his breath was liquid hot against the back of my neck as his claws scraped over my ass, sliding back to where I was wet-loose-empty.

I could feel the chill of where the wind cooled his saliva on the back of my neck, but that only heightened the heat of where we pressed tightly together.

And then the crown of Mutt's dick was pressing against my hole—on purpose this time—and it slipped in just a little and I just?—

"Hhaaa," I sobbed, cumming into the dirt like a filthy animal. My dick jerked, and my orgasm was never-ending. No fucking stimulation needed at all, just the scrape of my zipper, and the way my hole spread wide and almost painful for the fat head of Mutt's cock.

Desperately, and because I was a good bitch, I reached back—fumbling—and found the root of his dick. His knot had already swollen, the skin tight-hot-hard as I squeezed around it like he'd taught me to do. Mutt released a sound even more pitiful than mine had been. And then he was biting me again.

Tighter, tighter his teeth sunk in.

Pain-pleasure zinged down my spine. And Mutt's cock pushed in a little further.

Full. So full. He was barely inside and I just?—

"Good boy," I gasped out, "Good boy, Mutt." He growled, the sound muffled. His hips jerked forward, inching in just a little more as the back of my neck tingled. And then he came inside me. Wet, hot, the mess filled my ass, making it sloppy-slick and stuffed white as he came and came and came . I squeezed his knot the whole while, felt the throb-ache of it, and imagined what that would feel like one day when it was fully inside me.

Part of me wished he'd push in deeper. Wished he'd shove all the way inside and take me for real. Not the sexy, aborted little thrusts he'd just done, still somehow managing self control. I wanted him to lose it entirely. To use me like the cock sleeve I wanted to be—at least…for him.

But…another part of me, the part that was human and needy, and had never been loved the way I needed—was grateful. Because Mutt was gentle, even now. And he didn't take more than I was ready to give. Like he could smell in my scent that I wasn't ready. That I needed more time, even though I wanted him just as desperately as he wanted me.

I'd missed him.

I'd missed him so much.

And I was so mad at him for leaving me—but at the same time… It was really hard to be pissed off when a dude had the tip of his dick in my ass. Especially when he released my neck, but only so he could lave it with sloppy, happy licks. Running his tongue over my skin and swiping up sweat behind my ears, and down my throat, and beneath my collar.

"Fuck," I sighed happily, ass clenching around him as I finally released his knot. The last pulsing splashes of his cum had slowed, so I figured I could now.

"So good," Mutt murmured, licking up my throat and into my ear, like there wasn't a single part of me he didn't want to taste. "So pretty, so good." His voice was low, his breath was hot, and I sobbed, never wanting this moment to end. He sounded as drunk as I felt. As drunk as Blair probably was, back at the party.

"I missed you," I admitted, voice cracking. "I missed you so much."

"Missed you too." His tongue slid across my cheek then to my lips. He claimed them in the sloppy, uncoordinated make out he favored. I didn't even mind. Just opened my mouth and let him taste the way he wanted to. "Pretty, lovely, Jeffrey."

By the time Mutt was done grooming and scenting me, I was a shivery, chilly mess. The licking was nice, soothing even. Especially when he'd flipped me over and licked all around my groin and up my crease to my still sloppy hole. But his warm spit quickly dried cold on my skin, and by the time my tongue bath was over, I was more than ready for a nice toasty nap, safe at home in my bed.

Mutt helped me up, still more quiet than usual. He looked exhausted. There were dark circles beneath his eyes and his normally bright skin was sallow. I found his hand, fingers tangling, my heart thumping erratically as without a word he began walking us back the way we'd come.

Because of fucking course he knew the way home, even when I didn't.

My compass north.

His cum slipped from my hole as we walked. There was so much of it, my underwear was slick and cold. Do I like this? I took a moment to debate. And ultimately decided I did.

Huh.

We were quiet the first half of the walk. I'd had to fight Mutt's dick back into his pants because he hadn't wanted to get dressed, and I was more than a little glad that I had, because we needed to talk and I…well…

I couldn't really do that with his dick hanging out.

You're a coward.

You're a coward.

You're a coward.

Lydia's words rattled around inside my head as we broke through the tree line.

I didn't ask Mutt why he'd been gone as long as he had.

And he didn't tell me.