Chapter 9

Iwasn't used to late nights anymore. By the time I crawled into the four-poster bed, I was dizzy with tiredness. The mattress was super-comfortable, and the castle's deep silence enfolded me like a familiar pair of arms.

I should've gone right to sleep, but instead, I stared up at the bed's gauzy white canopy, thinking about my parents and wondering when I'd get to see them again.

Dad was a lobsterman, Mom a teacher. They kept early hours. They would've been asleep now for hours in their white clapboard house, the one with blue shutters and a creaky front step and flowers everywhere.

They wouldn't even know I was back on the island unless Talon let me out of the castle, and I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen—not for a while, anyway.

I gave a teary sniff, missing them so bad. It was hard, knowing they were just a few miles away but I couldn't see them.

Suck it up, buttercup. You did this to yourself. It's up to you to fix it.

Not my mom this time, but it worked.

Things would get better.

I had to believe that.

With one last sniff, I snuggled deeper into the covers and resolutely shut my eyes.

In the morning Rio brought me breakfast on a tray, and we took it into the enclosed garden outside my suite. It was sunny out, the garden's weathered walls blocking the wind off the ocean. Autumn leaves still clung to the branches of the small fruit trees, and pots of cheerful mums, asters and stonecrop were scattered among clumps of golden ornamental grasses.

I directed Rio to put the tray on a small cast-iron table beneath an apple tree. While I devoured an omelet and home fries, he told me about his day so far. It turned out that, after I'd left, Twilight's grandmother had moved into the castle.

"Her name's Mrs. Park and she's a freaking badass." Rio's admiring smile reminded me he was still a teenager and impressed by badassery. "We're all a little afraid of her."

"What d'you mean? Isn't she like three times your age?"

"She could still kick my butt. William—he's the castle butler or something—said she used to be a slayer."

Okay, that was impressive. "Twilight's grandmother?"

"Yep. And so was the prima—Twilight. It's kinda the family business. They have a slayer in every generation."

My jaw unhinged. "No way."

"Way. Nathan told me."

"Jesus Murphy." My stomach sank to the soles of my boots. Shoving my plate aside, I put my elbows on the table and covered my face with my hands.

"Hey." Rio put down his can of pop to pat my arm. "You okay?"

"No," I said from beneath my hands. "Last summer, I did something bad. Something to do with Twilight."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough. And don't ask—it's better if you don't know. But now I find out the woman I messed with is the new prima and also a former slayer?" My voice went up at the end of the sentence. "I. Am. So. Fucked."

Rio sat back. "What about Talon?"

"What about him?" I peeked through my fingers.

"Won't the dude defend you? I mean, you're his now, right? That's what this blood-bond thing means."

I snorted. "Because he knocked me up."

"Nah, it's more than that. He chased you all the way to New York, didn't he? And he was seriously worried when you passed out. You didn't see his face."

"Yeah?" I lifted my head.

God, I wanted to believe Talon cared about me. Then I flashed on the woman in the Hotel Garnet and swallowed over the shards of glass that suddenly filled my throat.

"And he hired me, didn't he?" Rio pointed out. "He didn't have to do that."

"You still don't get it, do you? He brought you along for one reason—to put pressure on me."

"Maybe," Rio allowed. "But he didn't have to hire me. He could've just dragged me back here. It's not like I could've fought off all three of them. And I think he did it to keep you happy."

"I suppose so. Or maybe he figured it was the most efficient way to get what he wanted," I said a little bitterly, recalling how he'd pressured me into accepting his blood bond.

"Whatever. I would've come for free anyway. This way, they're paying me a shit-ton of money. So what's this about this Twilight woman?"

"She's Talon's prima now. That means what she says goes. A vampire syndicate isn't a democracy. They might run it like a business, but the primus isn't the CEO, he's the king. Which makes the prima Talon's queen."

Rio's brown eyes went round. "And you fucked with this bitch?"

"The short answer? Yeah."

"But why? What did she do to you?"

Guilt tightened my throat. "Nothing," I admitted.

"Then why?"

I shook my head, embarrassed to tell Rio I'd pretended to be Twilight's friend when instead, I'd been feeding information about her to Kuro, AKA Eugene Smith. I'd ratted out a woman who'd been nothing but nice to me. A woman who'd seemed like she could use a friend.

He frowned. "Tell me. I promise I won't judge, but I don't like going in blind about something like this."

I forked up more of the omelet. "I did it for the money, all right?"

"I thought they paid thralls a lot."

I swallowed the food in my mouth. "They do. Maybe I wanted more, okay?"

He considered me. "That doesn't sound like you. There's something you're not telling me."

A knot formed in my chest. "Busted by a teenager."

"So there is something," he said, refusing to let me dismiss him like that.

I looked away, ashamed I'd tried. Rio might be only eighteen, but he had an old soul.

"Tell me," he pressed.

And I found I wanted to tell him. Keeping the hurt and humiliation locked inside hadn't helped.

"I wanted out. And I wanted to hurt them."

I wanted to hurt Talon.

"Whoa, back up a little," Rio said. "First, why did you want out?"

"Because Talon said he'd never take me as a mate. He wanted a pureblood mate."

"He straight up toldyou that?"

I shook my head. "Not me, no. His friend Cain. They didn't know I was close enough to hear. But he said it all right."

It had been at a party in Quebec City. I'd gone outside for some air, and I guess Talon had come looking for me, but Cain had stopped him. I'd heard my name, then they'd paused on the other side of a thick hedge, arguing in low voices.

I'd stilled, straining to hear. Instinct told me this was important. I hadn't even dared to breathe.

Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me.

"Remember the pact," Cain had said. "We mate with vampires or nobody. Especially not a thrall."

Talon had growled. "Drop it already. Eden's a thrall, nothing more. And the last thing I want is to sire a dhampir. I want a pureblood spawn, same as you."

"There's Brien," Cain had interrupted. "Something must be up." They'd returned the way they'd come.

"I'd only just found out I was pregnant," I told Rio. "He—I felt like I'd been sucker punched." Remembering, I pressed my arm to my stomach. "So yeah, I wanted to hurt them, especially Talon. I'm not proud of it, but… Anyway, then this guy came to me, asking if I wanted to make some easy money. All I'd have to do was pass a note to a new thrall—who turned out to be Twilight. I had second thoughts, but by then it was too late. He told me that if I didn't do exactly as he said, he'd out me to the old primus and his lieutenant. If he had, I'd probably be dead now."

"Christ." Rio reached out and squeezed my hand.

"Yeah," I said grimly. "The old primus—Brien's father—was going blood-mad, although the syndicate kept it quiet. If he'd gotten his hands on me, that would've been the last anyone saw of me until my body washed up on a beach somewhere, drained of blood and chewed on by sharks."

"No wonder you ran."

"Yeah." I studied the remains of my breakfast. "Before that, I thought Talon was starting to like me. You know, really like me. He treated me different than the other thralls, you know? That last year, he took me as his special thrall, told the other vampires I was his. I was even thinking of asking him if he wanted me to stay with him after my contract was up. God, I was an idiot. Only outcasts mate with humans. And their spawn have low status because they're only half-vampire."

My friend was silent for a couple of beats. "But those three brothers—you know, the Dark Angels—wasn't their mother a human? So they're dhampirs, right? And they say the oldest one is going to succeed his father as Kral primus."

"That's what I've heard. But their father had to strongarm his people into accepting them as his heirs, and he's a primus."

"Seriously? That's fucking medieval."

I huffed a humorless laugh. "Welcome to my world. They're not like us—they're more…primal. Like a wolf pack. Status is determined by raw power, and the more vampire blood you have, the more powerful you are. All I know is Talon never wanted to sire a dhampir." I paused, the pain still sharp and bright. "And I was damned if I was going to stay where me and my baby weren't wanted."

A groove formed between Rio's dark brows. "So why did you accept his blood bond? It's permanent, isn't it? You can't ever leave without his permission."

I moved my shoulder in a despondent shrug. "Because it's the only way I can make sure I stay with my baby. And yeah, he pretty much told me that."

And because if I hadn't, he'd never trust me again.

"Fuck. That's cold."

I barely heard Rio's muttered comment through the ringing in my ears. I'd just realized I was still hoping, still trying to win Talon's love.

And it would never happen. He didn't care for me in that way, and the sooner I got that into my head, the happier I'd be.