Chapter 16

When my mother sent a text saying she needed to see me ASAP, I was in my office in the war room, catching up on work. My first thought was that she'd hurt herself. It wouldn't be the first time. Last year she'd spiraled into a whiskey-fueled depression and broken an arm, and a few years ago, she'd tripped on the stairs, also while drunk, and knocked out a couple of teeth.

TALON:You OK?

MARY ALSTON:Yeah. Just come, OK?

So maybe this was about Esposito. My gut tensed, like it always did when I had to deal with my sperm donor. It had been ten days since I'd asked my mom to keep an eye out for him, but so far, he was still MIA.

Be there in thirty minutes, I responded.

Instead of putting the phone away, my fingers hovered over the screen. Maybe I should text Rio, ask him to let Eden know I wouldn't be there for another couple of hours? She'd be expecting me; I'd gotten in the habit of going to her every night around now.

Then I realized what I was doing and shoved the phone into my pocket.

For fuck's sake, Talon, she's your thrall, not your girlfriend.

I stopped in Cain's office to let him know where I was going and that I'd be back in an hour or two, then grabbed my bike from the renovated carriage house that served as the castle's garage and headed out. The cottage was a few miles south on the opposite side of the island from Bluebeard's Cove. I found my mom sitting in the dark again, this time in her living room.

"Talon." She stubbed out her cigarette in an ashtray and rose from the couch. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem." I kissed her cheek, taking the opportunity to surreptitiously sniffed her breath. But she hadn't been drinking. In fact, she appeared fine—clear-eyed and alert, if a little depressed. "So what's up?" I asked. "Did Esposito contact you?"

"No, and stop asking if I've seen him." She rubbed her neck irritably. "Because I haven't. I sent for you because I wanted to ask you something and I didn't want to do it over the phone."

I folded my arms over my chest. "Go ahead."

"Not here." She moved past me to the short hall. "Let's go for a walk—I could use the exercise."

"Sure, why not?" With a shrug, I followed her into the tiny foyer, taking her navy peacoat from the peg and helping her into it.

Pulling a striped wool hat over her short gray hair, she picked up a pair of mittens. "Ready," she said and proceeded me out the door.

The cottage was near the end of a narrow dirt road lined with bare-branched maples and oaks. We followed the road until it dead-ended onto a windy cliff overlooking the Atlantic, then walked along the edge for another five or ten minutes.

Mom paused on the scrubby grass and lifted her face to the biting salt air. "I smell snow," she said, inhaling. "We'll have two or three inches by morning."

"Yeah?" I didn't question her certainty; my mom was the island weather witch. If she said snow or rain was on the way, then it was.

"It will be December in a couple of weeks," she added, almost to herself. "Winter lobster season."

I nodded, gazing out at the heaving black waves. On nights like these, I was grateful I hadn't grown up in a lobstering family. "Anyone who takes a boat out in this weather has balls of steel."

Mom made a sound of agreement, her mind clearly elsewhere. "I hear Eden Montgomery is having a baby. A boy."

I snapped my head around to find her frowning at me from beneath the striped hat. So that's what this was about. "That's right."

"He's yours, isn't he?"

"Yes."

Her throat worked, her hurt permeating the air. "I see."

"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you."

"When?"

An icy wind buffeted me. Even for a vampire, it was fucking cold out here. I jammed both hands into the pockets of my leather jacket. "Soon."

"How long have you known?"

"Two weeks," I admitted.

Two weeks in which Eden had gradually worked her way back into my life.

Notmy heart. That part of me was firmly closed to her. Reinforced with walls of steel.

But my life, yeah. I'd rearranged my schedule so I could see more of her. The woman needed looking after, in my opinion. Someone to make sure she ate meals on time and got enough rest. Someone to fuck her until she had that heavy-eyed, satisfied expression...

"Two weeks?" my mom said. "So you knew the last time I saw you?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Talon. I may not be much of a parent, but I'm the only mother you've got. I don't care if you've been reborn as a vampire. I shouldn't have to hear I'm going to be a grandma through the grapevine."

My jaw tightened. As far as I was concerned, she'd lost the right to pull the Mom-card when she'd started accepting my money so she could drink all day instead of holding down a job.

"I was getting around to it, okay?"

Pain flickered across her face. "I'm home pretty much every damn night. You could've told me anytime."

She was right. I hunched my shoulders. So why hadn't I told her yet?

"Look, I'm sorry," I said. "I guess I'm still getting used to the idea myself."

Wondering what kind of father I'd make.

Mom sighed, then pulled back her shoulders. "I'd like to meet Eden, get to know her. I remember seeing her around when she was a kid, but we never really talked."

Oh, fuck no. Eden was still under house arrest. And even if she wasn't, my mom was…unpredictable. What if I brought Eden over and she was drunk?

"I'll think about it," I said. "But now's not a good time."

"What d'you mean it's not a good time?"

"Just that it's not."

"She's okay?"

"Yes. She's fine. They're both fine." Except for the not-so-little fact that she's not allowed to see anyone, even her parents.

Mom wrapped her arms around herself. "Gigi told me, in case you're wondering—Eden's mom. She drove out here just to tell me." She paused, and when I didn't say anything, added, "They're worried, Talon. Gigi says you're not even letting them talk to her, and that when Eden's father came to the castle, you sent him away."

So now I was the bad guy? "I spoke to Montgomery and told him Eden's okay—that she and the baby are getting the best of care. If he chooses not to believe me, that's his prerogative. But it's the goddamned truth."

"Eden's their daughter. Of course they're concerned. Especially after Gwen disappeared like that."

A muscle ticked in my jaw. "This is nothing like that. Eden's fine, and they'll see her when I'm ready—and not before."

"It had better be soon." She rubbed her mittened hands up and down her arms. "I didn't know what to say to Gigi. It doesn't look good, Talon. An island girl, and she's pregnant, too. And you can tell your fucking syndicate that I said that, too."

"With all due respect, this is none of your business. But I treat her like a goddamn princess, all right?"

"Christ." Her mouth thinned. "You sound just like your father. Always telling me things aren't my business."

Anger flared in me, hot and black. I just stared at her, my teeth clamped so tightly I'm surprised they didn't crack. If anyone else had said that to me, I would've had them by the throat, demanding they apologize.

My mom's gaze dropped first. "Sorry. That wasn't fair."

"No, it wasn't. Because I am nothing like that prick." I blew out a breath through my nose. "Look, I'm not telling you what happened because it's not my story to tell, it's Eden's, all right? Believe it or not, I'm trying to protect her. She fucked up, and she's paying the price—and that's all I'm going to say."

Frankly, I didn't think Eden would want the whole island knowing what she'd done. She had to live here, and so did our son.

Mom hmphed. "How bad could it be?"

I lifted a shoulder, let it drop.

"Fine, go all syndicate vampire on me. But tell me something, Talon. Do you want this kid, really? Or is he just an obligation? Because if that's true, maybe you should just settle some money on Eden and let her go."

I eyed her, frowning. Where the hell had that come from?

One thing I knew, no way was I ever letting Eden go—now or twenty years from now—and the same went for my spawn.

An uncomfortable thought occurred to me. "That's what happened with you and Esposito, wasn't it? You got married because of me."

Mom had always said I'd been born early—a seven-month baby—and I'd never questioned it.

"Well, yeah. But I wanted you." She took a step toward me, her expression fierce—brows lowered, mouth firm. "I wanted you more than anything. And I've never regretted it. Never."

I was still absorbing the fact that I was the reason my parents had gotten married. "But…did he feel the same way?"

She lifted her chin and threw my own words back at me. "With all due respect, that's none of your business."

Then he hadn't.

I swallowed sickly. It was like the cliff had shifted under my feet. I rocked back on my heels, off-balance.

So my dad had done the right thing? Or at least tried to? Until it had gotten too much for him, anyway, and he'd taken off for the mainland.

"Anyway, this isn't about me and Marco," Mom said. "It's about you and Eden. I can guess how she feels right now. And Marco loved me. That was one thing I had that she doesn't—because you don't love her, do you?"

"I blood-bonded her," I said. "To protect her and the baby."

Mom looked disappointed in me. "So it wasn't because you wanted her—Eden. It was because you thought you had to."

A feeling way too close to shame constricted my chest. "That's what she thinks," I admitted.

"Oh, Talon." Her tone was resigned and a little sad. "Don't…"

"Don't what?"

She heaved a breath. "Don't push her away. Make sure she knows you really want this baby."

"She knows," I said, then halted. Because did she?

I remembered how uncertain Eden seemed at times, almost too eager to please. I'd thought it was because she was trying to show me that she was sorry for what she'd done, but maybe that wasn't the only reason. Maybe she thought I didn't really want the baby. That he was just an obligation.

Mom put a hand on my arm. "These past couple of months, after she left, you missed her. Don't try to tell me you didn't. I saw how you were—closed down, angry at the world. It was like you were seventeen again—at least that part of you. You hid it well, but I know you. And I can tell Eden's more than a thrall to you. Now you've got her back, and I'd hate to see you blow it. She needs to know how you feel. She's a human, and a young one. If you care for her at all, let her know. Hell, tell her you do even if you don't. Because there's nothing worse than feeling like an obligation when you're in love with a man." Mom's voice cracked on the last few words.

A muscle jumped in my jaw. "So you want me to lie to her? Like Esposito does to you? No, thanks."

My mother sucked in a breath and released my arm. It was a low blow, and I knew it. But I didn't apologize because she'd earned every word.

"Love is a human construct," I added. "It's different for a vampire."

"Is it?"

"It is for me." I'd promised myself to live without love.

Loving a person meant you had to let them inside. Before you knew it, they were fucking with your boundaries. Making demands. Look at Brien and Twilight.

He's happier than he's ever been, though. And it hasn't made him weaker. He seems stronger, more confident.

Still, Twilight wasn't Eden. Twilight was an asset to the syndicate in a way Eden could never be.

The wind had picked up. It scraped chilly fingers over us, stinging our faces, searching for an opening in our clothes.

Mom shivered, and I took her arm. "You're cold. Let's go back."

She nodded and fell into step with me. After a while, she said, "I'd really like to meet Eden. And maybe…after the baby's born, you'll let me see him sometime?"

"If you're well enough," I hedged. "Then, sure."

Her face fell. "I understand," she said in a voice like a rusty hinge. "I'm not exactly grandparent-of-the-year material. Just think about it, okay?"

"I will."

"Thank you." She squared her shoulders. "I won't drink around the baby. That's a promise."

I grunted, because how many times had she promised something like that?

"I won't touch a drop before your hockey match. I promise."

She'd showed up drunk and tripped in the stands, hitting her head on a bench. I'd had to leave the rink to drive her to the doctor so she could get stitched up.

"I'll pick you up at the dance. Midnight, right?"

She'd never showed. I'd waited until all the other kids were gone, then hitched a ride with a teacher kind enough to drive me to our crumbling, out-of-the-way cottage on the opposite end of the island. Mom had been weeping on the couch, a couple of empty wine bottles on the floor next to her.

"They hired me at the Cove Restaurant. I'm starting as a dishwasher but if it works out, they'll promote me to server."

It hadn't worked out. In fact, she'd been fired within a week for coming to work drunk.

I looked at my mom's worn, hopeful face and forced myself to sound positive. "Okay, great."

A flurry of snowflakes dusted our clothes a powdery white. "You were right about the snow," I said, and we shared a smile, a genuine one.

Before I left, I replenished the stack of firewood on the front porch, then started a fire in the wood stove in the living room. When I came back to my feet, Mom had a cigarette out.

I watched as she lit it. "I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

She walked me to the door and gave me a hard hug, the smoke from her cigarette curling around us. "You're good to me, Talon. Don't think that I don't appreciate that."

An uncomfortable pressure banded my heart. I put my arms around her in return. A loose, awkward hug.

"Call me if you need anything," I said, and left.

Cain strode up as I reached my apartment. "What did Mary want?"

"Hello to you, too." I touched my palm to the pad, unlocking the door. "And just the usual. She wanted to see me." Cain would buy the evasion. He knew how needy my mom could be.

He followed me inside, closing the door after us. "She say anything about Esposito?"

"Only that she hasn't heard from him."

Going behind my wet bar, Cain got out a bottle of blood-whiskey. "Well, it's not a loan shark he owes. It's a casino. He dropped two hundred grand at the tables."

So much for winning big at poker like he'd told my mom. Although that was a lot of money even for Esposito.

I hung my leather jacket in the closet next to the door. "So what's new?"

"This is different. This time, he owes someone high up in the Quebec City hierarchy. When he started losing, they fronted him another hundred-fifty thou instead of shutting him down."

"Hell." My fingers flexed. In my mind, they were tightening around Esposito's throat.

"Here." Cain pushed a double shot in my direction.

I tossed it down, welcoming the burn of the whisky. Every time Esposito went AWOL, shit happened.

"You sure?" I asked.

"A friend in the QCS tipped me off."

I blinked. "You have a friend in the Quebec City Syndicate? Since when?"

Cain sipped his whiskey. "Not a friend, exactly. Let's say we have mutual…interests."

He was avoiding my eyes. What the actual fuck?

"Who?" I asked, temporarily distracted from Esposito and his problems.

"You wouldn't know her."

"Her?" I asked neutrally.

"Her name isn't important. And I promised no one would be able to trace the intel back to her."

"Okay," I said slowly. "And you trust this ‘friend'? You don't think she's feeding you false intel?"

"Why would she lie about this? And it fits. It's not like Esposito would say no if someone offered him a low-cost loan."

I nodded. Unfortunately, that was true.

"If your mom knows anything, " Cain added, "you have to get it out of her. Compel her if you have to. She's not immune."

"No."

"Why the fuck not?"

I put the shot glass down on the bar a little too hard. "Because she's my goddamn mother."

Cain's pale eyes flickered. "She's a weakness."

"Maybe, but she wouldn't know anything anyway. You think Esposito tells her his secrets? The man lies about what he ate for breakfast. She thinks he won big. No, we have to find the sonuvabitch and shake it out of him."

"I'll help," Cain muttered. His expression telegraphed that he'd do more than shake Esposito, too—and this time, I might let him. "He hasn't come to you for the money?"

"No." Which, now that I thought about it, was damn strange. "It's not like him. Why hasn't he tried to squeeze me for the cash? Especially if they're leaning on him, because why else would he have gone to ground like this? Plus, I told the PI to put extra men on this and they haven't uncovered a trace of him."

"That's bad."

"Yeah." I blew out a breath. "Up until now, I figured he'd turn up sooner or later. He always has before."

Cain finished his whiskey and set it on the bar next to mine. "It's time to tell Brien."

"Fine," I snapped. "I'll talk to him tonight, all right?"

My old friend looked me over, his lean body tense, his fingers tapping on the bar's polished surface. "You're hungry. When did you last drink fresh blood?"

"I don't know. When I was in New York, I guess."

"That was what—eleven, twelve days ago?"

"Two weeks," I muttered. "So?"

I only wanted Eden. Even drinking from another thrall felt wrong.

"So you need fresh, damn it," he said. "Blood-alcohol is a stopgap, not a permanent source of nutrition. You're pale as a ghost and you're edgy. Come to the Bite Club with me. We'll grab a couple of thralls, hang out."

"Some other time, okay?"

Cain's cheekbones seemed to sharpen. "Eden can spend a night alone, you know. Might do her some good."

Damn, I was tired of him trashing Eden. "What the hell is your problem? Ever since I brought her back, you've been riding me about her. I thought you liked her."

He opened his mouth, but instead of answering, grabbed the whiskey bottle and poured us both another shot. A double, this time.

"Here." He pushed a shot glass into my hand. "Have another one."

I stared at the red-tinged amber liquid. A vampire's metabolism processed alcohol differently, making it difficult to get drunk.

Sometimes, though, I wished it were easier. But then, I might've ended up like my mom. I'd been damn close to it that night Prima Lenore had walked into the jail with her proposition.

I put the glass down without drinking.

"And I like Eden okay," Cain said. "But I don't trust her, and if you were smart, neither would you."

"Who said I trust her?"

His dark brows climbed. "I see," he said slowly.

Guilt slunk up my spine. It felt underhanded, talking about Eden behind her back like this. I wasn't even sure it was true anymore. Deep down, I was starting to trust her again. To believe what she said without searching for hidden meanings or evasions.

My mother's words crawled through my brain.

"She's a human, and a young one. If you care for her even a little, let her know. Hell, tell her you do even if you don't. There's nothing worse than feeling like an obligation when you're in love with someone."

"She's trying," I said. "She apologized, and she's following my rules to the letter."

And doing her best to make it up to me. The guilt increased even as my dick gave an enthusiastic salute at all the ways she'd been making it up to me.

Cain's mouth pulled into a cynical smile. "But then she would, wouldn't she?"

"Sweet Lilith, can't you just be happy for me?"

His knee started jiggling. I could tell even though he was on the other side of the bar because his whole body bounced along with it. "Happy for you?"

"She's having my spawn. The first born to a vampire in the castle in over twenty years. So yeah, I'm happy. And I'd like my best friend to be, too. Fuck that promise we made each other—we were practically kids. What did we know?"

"Of course, I'm happy about that. I'm sorry you even had to say something." He raised his glass to me with a crooked smile. "To your spawn. A boy. You're a lucky bastard."

"I know." I picked up the shot glass and clinked it against his.

He tossed his down and I took a small sip in solidarity, then eyed my friend.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

I drew a slow circle on the bar with the shot glass. "You ever wonder what kind of father you'll make?"

He barked a laugh. "A shitty one."

"Yeah, me too." My own laughter was hollow.

"But that's me," Cain said. "You're not worried about yourself, are you? Because you're going to make a great fucking father."

"Why?" I looked away, wondering why I'd asked in the first place. But I didn't take it back because I needed to know. I was still reeling from what my mom had said about Eden and obligations and the fact that Esposito had tried to do the right thing—and failed spectacularly.

Cain's knee stopped jiggling. "A lot of reasons, starting with you asking why, which means you're thinking about how to be a good father. You care, and that's gotta count for something."

"Does it? Because from where I'm standing, it means I'm scared I have no idea what I'm do—."

"Let me finish, damn it," Cain interrupted. "Let's start with the fact that you're taking good care of the kid's mom, and add in how you immediately stepped up to take responsibility—you didn't even have to think about it. You just did it. On top of that, you're already working to make things better for the dhampirs in the syndicate. And I've seen you with the soldiers—you're tough when you have to be, but you're always fair. You're a leader—people look up to you. And the kid's going to look up to you, too. You just have to be yourself."

"What if that's not enough?"

"Hell, what I know about being a father would fit on the head of a pin," Cain said. "But if I could've had you as a father, I would've thought I won the lottery. And bro? I'm going to be here for you. Brien will be, too."

The hollowness eased. "Thanks," I said gratefully. "I'm going to hold you to that."

"Hey, so we had shitty father figures. Doesn't mean we can't learn from them anyway. You can always think of what my uncle would've done and do the exact opposite." He gave me a crooked smile.

"Yeah," I said, so that his comment wouldn't hang there.

Esposito might be more like a big kid than a parent, but Cain's uncle was so much worse.

"So we good?"

When I nodded, Cain finished his whiskey, clearly done with our hearts-and-flowers moment. "Let's go get a couple of thralls. You don't have to fuck them," he added before I could object. "But you do need to feed."

I thought of Eden, expecting me. But Cain was right, I did need fresh blood.

Plus, I didn't want her getting the wrong idea about what this was. Not because I was a prick but because I was trying not to be.

"Okay, already. I'll go." I gulped the rest of the whiskey and put the glass on the bar. "Anything to stop your bitching. Just give me a minute to change."

I headed into my bedroom, pulling off my T-shirt as I went, and to put on a short-sleeve dress shirt and a clean pair of dark wash jeans.

Cain was waiting by my front door. He slammed a shoulder into me, knocking me a step sideways. "It's not bitching, asshole. It's called concern—and shove a stake into me if I'm ever concerned about you again."

I shoved him back and opened the door, making a show of holding it for him. "After you, Grandma."

His snarl made me grin.