3. Danny

Chapter 3

Danny

I f I could have gone back in time by roughly six hours, I'd slap myself around the face. No, I'd go further than that. I'd snatch my phone out of my hands, close out of that fucking dating app, and arrange to take Riley out alone.

Then I'd slap myself, just for good measure.

It wasn't that there was anything wrong with our dates. The opposite was the problem. They were too good.

Well, Riley's was.

That was what I didn't like.

Across the table, Riley was clutching his stomach as he laughed at the story Will was sharing. He hadn't looked away from him once for the entire meal, utterly captivated by the man I was now staring daggers at.

It wasn't because I was jealous, but because without Riley acting as my buffer, my date was going disastrously.

And by that, I meant he adored me.

George was lovely. Kind, funny…and looking for a long-term relationship. I'd made it clear online that it was a one-time thing, but apparently George had missed the memo. Either that or he was just choosing to ignore it entirely.

"I just can't get over the fact that you're a firefighter." George sighed, stroking my arm. I wished he'd stop. My wolf bristled every time he caressed me like a dog. "I have to confess, I love a man in uniform."

"Don't we all." I gave him a wan smile. Usually this would be when Riley would butt in with all the negatives about dating a firefighter—the long hours, danger, lingering smell of smoke, etc.

Riley, however, missed his cue, too busy whispering with Will to jump in.

"There's a gorgeous walk in the New Forest that I've been dying to explore. Maybe we could go together next weekend?"

I tugged at my collar. "Umm, I'm on shift next weekend. Sorry. Cons of being a firefighter."

George pouted, but fortunately the waiter chose that moment to arrive with our mains. I used the opportunity to shove as much into my mouth as possible, glaring at my so-called best friend as I did so.

Not that Riley noticed. From the way he and Will had their heads bent together, you'd have thought they were the only ones in the room. I was used to Riley getting on with men and following it with a steamy hookup. For fuck's sake, he usually did so in my house. I could recall the sound Riley made when he came with crystal clarity following our night together, but if I hadn't been able to, hearing it through my too-thin walls many times over the years would've reminded me of it.

This was different though. Usually, Riley kept his dates at a cool distance. He'd flirt a little, bat his eyelashes and promise them a good time, but it never went further than that. His dates could never get him to open up. He didn't ever have any kind of deep conversation with them.

That was usually reserved for me.

My stomach churned as I continued to watch them from my side of the table. Riley was telling Will about someone from work called Stuart who worked in the journalism section of his company. I frowned. Who was Stuart? Why had I never heard about him?

"Wait, you work for a website?" Will was hanging on his every word.

Riley hadn't so much as touched his main. "I do. Well, I work in the accounts department. You might've heard of it—it's called Identity. "

"Shut the front door." Will slapped his palm on the table, making several people in the vicinity jump. "Do you know Ollie Winters?"

I stiffened as Riley's expression turned cagey. His friend Ollie, who he'd met through work, was in a relationship with a famous rock star. Luca was the singer of the band Caffeine Daydreams. Whenever people realised the connection, they tried to hit Riley up for everything from tickets to an introduction. "Why?"

Will seemed to realise he'd made an error. "Shit, not like that. I know him too. My friend, Jack, he's one of the guards on the detail for Caffeine Daydreams. I've met them all over the years."

I vaguely remembered from Will's online profile that he was in personal security. I hadn't known about this shared connection between him and Riley though. I scowled down at my butter chicken like it had done something to personally offend me.

Riley bonding with someone shouldn't have bothered me…but it did. I'd never admit it out loud, but I'd got used to being his person. The one he turned to and relied on. Given he was even more averse to commitment than I was, I hadn't expected that to change any time soon. This was a wake-up call that it could happen. I could lose Riley to a relationship the same way I had Leo.

Any sadness I'd felt at my friendship with Leo changing was wiped out by the sheer happiness I experienced seeing him in love. Being with Ferry made Leo happy, and that in turn made me happy. I wasn't his person any longer, but I had Riley.

Something told me I wouldn't take Riley finding someone in my stride as easily as I had Leo. Our friendship was special to me. Sacred.

Selfishly, I didn't want anything to change. Ever. I'd got too used to Riley being in my life. Any change would leave a gaping hole I wasn't sure I'd be able to fill.

"That's where I recognise you from," Riley said, his eyes lighting up. "You were at Luca's birthday party a few months ago."

Will grinned. "That was one wild night. I can't believe I didn't see you there. I definitely would've introduced myself."

His knuckles brushed against my best friend's. Riley drew in a sharp breath as colour filled his cheeks.

My supernatural hearing picked up on an odd sound, like metal being twisted. I glanced down to see my fork bent in half in my grip.

Shit. So much for me eating any more. Dropping it on the floor, I kicked it out of sight. In doing so, I accidentally knocked Riley's foot. His head snapped around, his blush deepening as his gaze flickered between me and my now-silent date. It seemed like he'd been so caught up in Will that he'd forgotten we were even here.

Riley cleared his throat, finally picking up his fork. "So, George, what do you do for work?"

T he rest of the meal passed agonisingly slowly. For some reason, I was struggling to make conversation with George or Will. It was very unlike me. Normally I was battling Riley to be the centre of attention. Even if I only gave my dates the one night, I wanted it to be a night they'd remember fondly.

My mood seemed to have gone unnoticed, at least by George. Once Riley drew him into conversation, he started flirting with me again. Casual touches that would normally have had my cock stiffening. Sexy banter that I'd usually meet with my own quip and a smirk.

Instead, I was barely managing a grunt.

As we made our way to the exit, Riley pulled me to one side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I muttered. Will was eyeing us in confusion, his gaze lingering on where Riley's hand lay on my arm. "Just not feeling it for some reason."

Riley bit his lip. "Want me to blow my guy off too? We can just go back to yours and game instead."

It hit me then, how ridiculous I was being. Was I honestly going to stand in the way of Riley finding a genuine connection just because I was scared? He was my best friend—shouldn't I want him to be happy?

"Nah, don't be daft." I summoned up a grin and winked at Riley. "Let's see if I can salvage things with my date too. We came to get laid, and that's what we're going to do."

H ours later, I was sat in my silent kitchen, a shot of Adamanthea in a glass in front of me.

I'd managed to pull it back with George, seducing him with every trick I had in my arsenal. I'd worked him over until he was babbling gibberish. I hadn't focused so hard on sex in years. Anything to distract me from the noises coming from Riley's room.

Technically it was my spare room, but given how often Riley stayed in it, it was basically his. I secretly loved that he had a space at my house, and it had never bothered me to hear him having sex in there before. I liked knowing that I could hear if he needed me. That if anyone did something he didn't want, I could be there in less than a second.

Tonight was different. The whispered conversations between low moans. The giggles and laughter punctuated with gasps.

The way Riley had moaned Will's name as he came.

I knocked back the drink, then poured another shot. I needed to get a handle on myself. Wolf shifters, especially alphas such as myself, had a reputation for being feral and uncontrolled. I prided myself on being neither of those. My emotions had been held on a tight lead ever since I was a pup. Only once had I lost hold of it—the day my family had been ripped from me.

Now, that lead seemed to be slipping once more, and I didn't fucking understand why. Riley and I had had this system for years . He deserved happiness and love more than anyone, so why the fuck was I feeling like my skin was on fire? Why was my wolf prowling beneath my skin in discontent?

A door opened upstairs and I stiffened. It was Riley, I knew that before he even hit the first step. Even if I hadn't been able to smell him, I'd know his footsteps anywhere.

He was probably coming down to get a drink. He quite often did that after sex. Normally I would have been hearing him do so from my bedroom. I debated for a second about whether or not to hide. It'd be simple enough to slip into the garden and return when he was safely back upstairs.

But I couldn't make myself move. I stayed at the table, staring at the glass in front of me.

"Oh," Riley exclaimed softly as he entered. "Danny? Why are you up?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Why are you sat in the dark?" Bright light filled the kitchen, making me wince.

"Supe eyesight, remember? Gotta save the planet and all that."

"Riiight. Ooh, is that water? Give me some. I'm dying of thirst."

I knocked his hand away before he could touch my glass. "No, it's not."

He was beside me now. I still hadn't looked at him, but I didn't need to. I could feel him staring down at me. Could picture the exact confused expression he'd have on his face. "Is it vodka? That's okay, I could use a shot after that."

I drained the glass in a gulp. Vodka was what I usually drank, and usually I wouldn't have an issue sharing with Riley. Tonight called for something stronger though. Adamanthea was the only substance that could intoxicate a supe. It was so strong that just a sip of it would kill a human instantly. "Nope."

"Wait." Riley snatched the empty glass from between my fingers. He sniffed at it deeply. "This is Adamanthea. Why are you drinking this?"

I ignored his question. "There's water in the tap, Riley. I'm sure you remember how to work it."

Please grab some water and go.

Naturally, Riley did the opposite. "Why won't you look at me?"

Biting back a sigh, I lifted my head. I immediately wished I'd taken another shot. Riley was just in his boxers—a sight I'd seen a thousand times. His hair was ruffled like someone had been running their fingers through it. A large hickey sat just above his collarbone. His lips were swollen, his eyes glassy.

Like I said, it was a sight I'd seen a thousand times before. So why was seeing it now making me want to shift and start running?

Riley was the one man I'd never wanted to run from…so why did I want to now?

"I am looking at you."

His eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms over his chest. "Uh-huh, now I've called you out on it you are. You want to explain what's going on with you, Danny?"

"Nothing's going on."

He rolled his eyes, the move so familiar it had my chest twinging. "Okay, let's recap. You were near silent through dinner when I can't usually get you to shut up. Then you're sat in the dark, drinking Adamanthea, refusing to look at me. Don't bullshit me, Daniel. There's no point, I know you too well."

That was true. I sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over my face. "I just…I dunno. My head's a mess tonight. Maybe I need a break from this whole scene."

"What, and find a relationship instead?"

Was that fear that flickered through Riley's eyes? Or was that just my wishful thinking? "No, don't be daft. But maybe I should just cool it with the one-night stands for a while."

Riley patted my shoulder. "If it's making you feel like this, then yeah, maybe you should. Do you want to talk about it more?"

I shook my head. "Nah, you go back to your date."

"He can wait." Riley waved dismissively. "You need me right now. I can stay and keep you company."

Normally, I leapt at the chance for his company. Tonight though, I needed some space from him. "It's okay, I'm heading on up in a minute myself. You should go back to Will. There're only a few hours until sunrise and your carriage turns back into a pumpkin. You should go make the most of them."

Riley stared at me oddly, blinking a few times before jolting back to himself. "You're right. I should."

He put my glass back on the table. I waited until his footsteps were on the stairs before pouring myself another shot.

Followed by another.

And another.

I drank until I couldn't hear the sounds from Riley's room. Until I forgot the fact that I was alone in the world. That I'd always be alone unless I chose a mate. Until I forgot that would never be an option for me, not unless I wanted to return to the clan that had betrayed me.

I drank. And I drank.

Until there was nothing but darkness.