12. Riley

Chapter 12

Riley

M atty had managed to persuade me that, rather than setting fire to Danny's house to get his attention, I should visit him and Sebastian instead.

Matty was a spoilsport, but I'd yet to find anyone who could say no to him. I mean, just look at his husband. The former assassin vampire who hated humans was now at Matty's beck and call. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Matty.

Including refusing to kidnap Danny for me. Apparently that wouldn't be ‘conducive to resolving the situation.'

Matty's words, obviously.

I was sat on the sofa in his and Sebastian's house, pouring all my thoughts out to Matty. About how I'd found Danny drinking the night we went on our last double date. The odd looks I'd caught him throwing my way. How he'd tried to persuade me not to have anonymous sex but stayed to keep me safe. That he'd vanished without a word after the second time, ghosting me ever since.

When I was done, I looked at Matty and winced. He wasn't smiling. Even worse, there was a frown on his face.

Oh fuck. I was in trouble.

"Rewind a second," Matty said slowly. "You invited men to come to your house and fuck you?"

"Yes."

"Without knowing who they were?"

"I was safe, Matty. Really, it's no different from going home with someone in a club. They could hurt me as easily as an anonymous hookup could."

A quick gasp. The smash of crockery as Matty dropped his cup. My blood drained from my face as I belatedly remembered what Matty had confided in me. Something he'd hidden from me for a very long time.

He'd gone home from a club with a man once. A man who'd gone on to hurt him.

Badly.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, grabbing his clammy hand. "Matty, I didn't mean?—"

"Why did you remind him of that?" Sebastian's voice was thunderous as he blazed into the room, murder in his eyes. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Matty was staring vacantly into space. I blinked away tears, watching as Sebastian swept him into his arms and held him close. "It's okay, sunshine. I've got you. I'm here. You're safe."

It took a few agonising minutes before Matty pulled himself together. I spent each second of them writhing in torment and cursing myself for being so thoughtless. From the glare Sebastian kept shooting me over Matty's head, he was just as pissed off with me as I was.

"I'm sorry," I kept repeating. "I'm so sorry, Matty."

Eventually, he lifted his head from Sebastian's shoulder. His red-rimmed eyes socked me in the gut again. "It's okay. You don't have anything to apologise for."

"Wanna fucking bet?" Sebastian growled.

Matty cupped his face, dragging his attention to him. "Seb, I'm fine. It just…caught me off guard, that's all. I flashed back for a moment, but I'm okay now. You're here. You keep me safe."

"Nothing will ever hurt you," Sebastian vowed quietly. "I promise."

The kiss was so tender that I had to look away. My chest pinched. I'd never wanted what they shared, but then again, I'd always had Danny. He filled all the spaces in my life effortlessly. He kept me company. Protected me. Cheered me up. Supported me. Encouraged me. Made me laugh.

He was my person, in a similar way to how Sebastian was Matty's, just not romantically. That didn't matter though—our relationship transcended normal friendship, and I loved that. He was my person. The one I could count on.

At least, that was what I'd believed. After these past couple of weeks, I wasn't sure. I rubbed at my chest. Maybe Danny wanted more with someone else. Was that his issue? Had something happened to make him realise he needed someone in his life? Someone who wasn't just his best friend, but his partner?

"Riley?"

I looked up, startled. Matty was still perched on Sebastian's lap, but he was watching me expectantly. "Sorry, did you say something?"

Matty rolled his eyes and grinned, making relief swell in me. "Yes. So you had sex with strangers to avoid pesky feelings ."

Sebastian snorted. "That's fucking stupid."

Tempting as it was to glare at Sebastian, I suspected I was currently only breathing because Matty would be upset by my death. "Well, that's why I asked Danny to stay downstairs. That way, if I got into any trouble he'd be there to help."

"That's not what I was referring to. I meant, you don't get to decide if you have feelings for someone or not." He squeezed Matty tighter. "Trying to run from feelings is going to get you nowhere. Trust me on that."

I was so confused. "Are you saying I should contact Will again? Because, honestly, I haven't thought of him in weeks. And I really don't want a relationship."

"Once again you're stupendously missing the point," Sebastian drawled. A small look from Matty had him gentling his tone though. "I'm saying that maybe you already have feelings for someone, and that's why you don't want to develop feelings for anyone else."

"No, that's not it at all. I don't need anyone else because I have Danny. He gives me everything except sex—hence the hookups."

"Why not just have sex with Danny?" Matty suggested.

My laugh was loud. Sure, I might've fantasised about him recently, but there was a big difference between that and going through with it. The sound of my laughter faded into silence when I realised Matty and Sebastian weren't smiling. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Why wouldn't you? You just said he gives you everything. You're basically a married couple, despite both of you saying you don't like commitment. Face it, Riley, you're in a relationship with Danny. The only thing you're not doing is having sex, and that's not even a requirement for a relationship."

I gaped at Matty. "But that's…no. That's ridiculous. We're just friends."

Matty reached over to pat my knee. "No, honey. What you and Danny share goes way beyond friendship."

A headache began to throb at my temples. I shoved my glasses up so I could bury my head in my hands. "God, this is so fucked up. All I wanted was to have some feelings-free sex, and everything has gone to shit."

I didn't need to see Matty and Sebastian to know they were having one of those unspoken conversations couples seemed to have. The kind where they were silently judging the idiot in the room.

Like you and Danny do, you mean?

I sighed. "Okay, well this hasn't helped in the slightest. I'm no closer now to knowing why Danny fucked off in the first place, and now you've got me thinking all sorts of weird shit. So…thanks, I guess."

"Maybe Danny is already thinking about this ‘weird shit,'" Matty said solemnly. "Maybe that's why he ran off. If he has feelings for you, imagine how it must've felt for him to listen to you have sex with someone else."

"But he's been doing that for years." Needing to move, I got to my feet and started to pace. "He's never had an issue with it."

"Except for the last time you went on a date, and you found him in the kitchen drinking Adamanthea?"

I stopped dead. "No…no. That can't be why."

"These hookups," Sebastian interjected suddenly. "The anonymous ones. How many times did you do it?"

"Twice," I said wearily.

"And Danny was okay after the first one?"

I opened my mouth to answer in the affirmative, but the memory of that evening flashed in my mind. "Actually…no. He was off. Cagey. Couldn't quite look me in the eye. I brushed it off at the time but…"

"Then he was there at the start of the second hookup, but gone by the end?"

I nodded and Sebastian continued. "Then Matty's theory is sound. It seems the most logical explanation. Danny has romantic feelings for you and couldn't stand the sound of someone else having sex with you. Makes sense, especially given his designation."

"What do you mean?"

"Danny's an alpha wolf," Sebastian explained slowly, as though I were a toddler. "Alpha wolves are notoriously possessive creatures. It's part of their nature."

I snorted, gesturing at the tight hold he had on Matty. "All supes are."

"Yes, but wolves take it to another level. They're pack animals. Once they decide someone is theirs, they can't move away from that. Their wolf won't let them." Sebastian's gaze swept over me thoughtfully. "Danny's been alone for a long time, so I figured he was different. But, if I think about it now, he's always treated you like his. You've been inseparable for five years now. If I had to guess? His wolf has decided you're pack and doesn't like anyone else touching what he considers his."

"And we all know Danny can't take a mate," Matty said quietly. I flinched at the same time as Sebastian, both of us no doubt remembering the time Matty had been mistaken for Danny's mate. It was a day that had ended in much bloodshed and carnage. "It's not safe for him, or you. It'd explain why he's run away. If he's realised he has feelings for you, maybe he thinks trying to put space between the two of you will help the feelings magically disappear."

Sebastian kissed Matty's head fondly. "We both know how well that works. If you're meant to be together, there's no point in fighting it."

How the fuck had it come to this? I'd gone from wanting to burn Danny's house down to get his attention to being told he might want me as his mate. Had I accidentally slipped into an alternate universe without realising?

The reality was that nothing had changed, yet at the same time, everything had. I didn't want a mate. I'd started this whole anonymous thing to avoid catching feelings, only to learn it might already be too late.

I'd always been firm in not wanting a relationship, let alone a mate…but I'd also never pictured Danny in those roles. I tried for a moment to think about it. To imagine what it might be like.

It would be warm. Happy. Full of laughter and good sex. A caring partner who wouldn't try to change me.

Until it wasn't like that. I knew all too well that even the most promising starts could collapse into agony. Look at my mum—every time, she'd been convinced she'd found ‘the one.'

And every time, it had ended in heartbreak.

Say Danny and I were mated, what would happen when it ended? Not only would I be shackled to the one who'd broken my heart for all eternity, I'd have lost my best friend in the process.

No, it wasn't worth the risk. Danny couldn't take a mate, anyway, so the whole point was moot.

"I don't want to be his mate. I just want my friend back." I slumped back down onto the sofa helplessly. "I don't understand. Say you are right, say he does have feelings for me…why now? What's different now to a few months ago? What's happened to bring it to the forefront of his mind, to the point where he can't ignore it?"

"Hang on," Sebastian said slowly. "Did you look at these hookups at all?"

I frowned, not sure where he was going with this. "No, that was the whole point. I kept my head in a pillow because I didn't want to see who it was."

"And these men, they were different, yes?" Even Matty was staring at his husband in confusion now. Sebastian gestured impatiently. "Their dicks, the way they touched you, are you certain it was two different men?"

"Actually, I'm not sure." I thought back to the second time, how I'd gone to confront Danny about letting the same man up but he'd been gone. "I think it might've been the same man."

Matty gave a startled gasp, twisting to give Sebastian a disbelieving look. "No. He wouldn't."

Sebastian shrugged. "It's what I'd do in his situation."

Impatience bubbled up in me. "Hello? Can one of you clue me in, please?"

Matty gave me a pained smile. "It's just…well…are you sure you haven't been having sex with Danny?"