Chapter 39

39

Hudson

Hudson’s Words To Live By:

There’s nothing more breathtaking than watching someone you care about pursue their dreams.

When we arrived in Junction, Texas, Friday night, we discovered a large group of people from the dog trialing community on an outdoor patio at a restaurant called Lum’s. The food was good, but the company was outstanding. Everyone Charlie introduced me to seemed to either know him or have heard of him. We spent several hours drinking and laughing with all of the people we’d see in the fields the following day.

Before we left the restaurant, someone talked Charlie into handling their dog during one of the events the following day. To hear the woman tell it, Charlie Murray was the best damned dog handler in the history of sheepherding.

“I once saw him tell Mama to pack his suitcase, and she had him all done up with shirts pressed and everything before it was time to check out of the hotel,” a man named Glen said. Everyone around him laughed, and I saw a rare instance of Charlie blushing.

“I believe it,” I said. “The other night I was fixing pizza in the kitchen and asked myself where I’d put my beer. And damned if that dog didn’t walk over to the counter and point her nose at it. Oh—” I turned to Charlie. “—remember the other morning when I couldn’t find my shoe and she found it behind your dresser?” I looked at him, remembering Charlie’s naked ass in the air helping me search under the bed. I’d done way more looking at that than searching for the shoe.

One of the ladies winked at me. “And why was your shoe behind Charlie’s dresser?” she asked with a knowing smirk.

I felt a full-body blush at my slip. I wasn’t used to the casual outings that my siblings experienced all the time. What did Charlie think about his friends hearing we were most likely sleeping together? Had I been wrong to imply it? Did he live out and proud among these folks, or did he choose to keep things quiet around certain groups? Suddenly, I felt like a bull in a china shop.

I glanced over at him, worried I’d see his discomfort. But of course, all he cared about was me and my own feelings.

“Because he threw it at me when I overslept for a meeting,” he said quickly. “I was late and didn’t answer my door. He barged in and chucked his shoe at me to get me up.”

I rolled my eyes, deciding to trust my gut read on the crowd. “That’s only partially true. I did throw my shoe at him once, but it was an accident that happened when I was rushing to get naked.”

The crowd burst into laughter with hoots and hollers. The only person who looked uncomfortable was one of the servers collecting dirty plates from the table. The man looked like any number of Texas guys I knew who didn’t cotton to same-sex sinning. But the dog trainers around the table were kind and accepting. And they clearly thought the world of Charlie.

Charlie tucked his face against my shoulder to hide his blush, but I knew he was smiling. I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer, dropping a kiss on his wind-blown mane.

“You okay?” I asked softly.

“So very okay, Hudson. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming with me. I didn’t realize how much I wanted you to see this.”

I shifted far enough away to look me in the eyes. “We haven’t even seen the dogs work yet.”

He shrugged. “That’s not all there is. It’s the community, the people. The shared love of a hobby.”

I could see how happy he was, and that made me feel euphoric. That feeling lasted the entire weekend. The following day I watched Charlie own the sheep. With clipped whistle commands I’d seen him demonstrate back at the ranch, he had a dog named Maya working like a dream. She took to him as easy as could be and would have followed him to the ends of the earth.

When she got up to top speed out in the far end of the course, her body took on the low, sleek form of some kind of water creature. It was the same fluid grace Mama had when running for a tennis ball sent deep into the fields behind the barn.

Every time Charlie commanded “Come bye” or “Away to me” to the dog in his Irish accent, I felt a little tingle of sexual awareness. It was embarrassing to be turned on by herding commands. But I couldn’t ignore the tightness in my jeans as I thought about how this slender man with his hair pulled back in a messy bun and brows furrowed in concentration commanded me in the dark of night the same way he controlled these dogs in the light of day.

Effortlessly, decisively, firmly.

“Dammit,” I muttered, shifting in my seat.

“Man knows what he’s doing, yeah?” Glen said from the spot next to me.

“Sure seems that way,” I agreed. “I’ve never seen him do this before. I mean, I’ve seen him go through commands with Mama, but it’s not as impressive with no stock to herd.”

Glen nodded. “You two going to the Houston stock show next month?”

“We were planning on it. It’s in March, right?”

“March fourteenth, thereabouts,” Glen said.

I wondered if we could make it work considering the pub would be newly open and we’d be preparing for St. Paddy’s Day events. Correction: Charlie would be preparing. I, on the other hand, might be back to working long hours in Dallas.

Even if I could get time off for the Houston stock show, it was a reminder St. Paddy’s marked the end of Charlie’s required stay in Hobie. The plan had been for someone from Fig and Bramble to give us a couple of months to make sure the pub was set up right and launched successfully. Once we’d been open a full month, there’d be no need for him to stay.

My heart fell into my stomach.

“We’ll see what happens,” I mumbled.

Indeed.

* * *

“You comingto Valentine’s Day at the pub?” Charlie asked Saint over wings at a sports bar. We’d stopped overnight in Dallas on the way back to Hobie from Junction.

“Pfft. I don’t like that romantic bullshit. Never did buy into Hallmark holidays,” Saint said. “But if there are going to be hot guys there, I’m in.”

“Spoken like a man without a current lover. You know… there are going to be hot guys there,” Charlie said pointing a thumb over his shoulder at me. “Case in point.”

Saint narrowed his eyes at me. “Ew. Don’t make me hork up potato skins right here.”

“Stevie will be there,” I offered.

Saint seemed to consider it. “Hm. The guy’s cute enough. I wonder if—”

“No,” Charlie interrupted. “He’s taken.”

I turned to him. “We don’t know that for sure.”

“Taken?” Saint laughed. “From everything I’ve ever heard, the man’s as available as watermelon on the side of the highway in summer.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Charlie said. “But he’s clearly pining for a certain someone we all know and think is hot as fuck.”

“Speak for yourself,” I grumbled.

“Oh please. Don’t tell me if you were on fire you wouldn’t let him douse you with his hose,” Charlie teased.

“Stop,” I groaned, dropping my face into my hands.

“What’s happening here?” Saint asked.

Charlie turned to him. “We think Stevie has the hots for the fire chief.”

“Stevie has the hots for anything with a nut sack,” Saint said. “Count me in for Valentine’s.”

When it came time to decide where everyone was sleeping that night, we were saved by Saint’s work calling.

“Dammit. I have to fly out. The prima donna pop star I’m protecting has decided to lunch in Paris tomorrow. Which means wheels up tonight. Sorry,” Saint said after disconnecting the call. “Duty calls.”

Once my brother took off for the airport, Charlie pounced. “He’s gone. Can it be naked time now?”

The warmth in my chest bloomed hot and fast down to my groin. I pulled his hips closer to mine so he could feel my interest.

“Meh, I guess so. If you insist,” I said. “But we should probably sleep if we want to get back to Hobie in the morning.”

“Fuck that,” he growled. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Charlie led me back to the guest bedroom and threw me down on the mattress. “Strip.”

He rifled through his bag and came out with the lube and a condom. I wondered who was going to wear it. I wondered if we needed to buy more condoms. I wondered if I should wash my hands first. I wondered—

“Stop,” he said. “Your brain is spinning round so hard you might hurt yourself.”

I’m falling for you.

The realization wasn’t a surprise, but my brain finally putting it into words devastated me. It meant this wasn’t what I’d set out to do. This wasn’t going to be easy to extract myself from when Charlie left. This wasn’t going to end smoothly or without a shit ton of pain.

You’re going to leave me.

I pulled my clothes off without looking at him.

You’re going to break my heart.

I climbed onto the bed to await his instructions.

What if you’re the one?

Charlie climbed on top of me and began dropping sweet kisses all over my face. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and begged my eyes to stay dry.

What if I can’t live without you?

I forced myself to let go and just feel.