Chapter 37

37

Hudson

Hudson’s Revelation:

I’m not straight.

After Charlie pulled out of me and made his way into the bathroom to clean up, I lay there feeling numb. The sex I’d had with Charlie made all the other sex I’d had in my life seem like practice rounds or the warm-up before the big game.

And sex with Charlie was the championship.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t loved having sex with the girlfriends I’d slept with in the past. I had. I’d been turned on and into it just as much as they had been. But there was something about sex with Charlie that was on a completely different level. Was it because he was a man? Would I feel this way if I had sex with a different man besides him?

Or was it because it was Charlie himself, and maybe I’d feel this way if I’d found exactly the right woman for me?

Was it because it was sex with a man or because it was sex with this man?

My brain went round and round until I felt like I might be sick. Part of me wanted to immediately attach all kinds of feelings to whatever this was between us. I wanted to love him. I wanted to call this thing between us the beginning of something real.

But that was just my tendency to go from relationship to relationship, right? It was my way of avoiding the concept of casual sex—by imagining feelings where there weren’t any. How could I be falling for him? I couldn’t. He was sweet and funny and beautiful. But I wasn’t his Forever Man. I couldn’t ask him to leave his family behind and I wasn’t sure I was willing to do the same either.

When Charlie returned to bed, I did something I’d never done before. I faked sleep.

Because if I didn’t, I would say a whole bunch of stuff to him that would mortify both of us. I would tell him I didn’t want him to leave. I would ask him to give me a real chance. I would confess how amazing I thought he was and how alive he made me feel.

So I closed my eyes and forced myself into the rhythmic breathing of postsex sleep. Only I didn’t sleep. I stayed awake for hours drinking in the feel of Charlie’s smaller body pressed up against mine. Of his slender hand resting over my heart and his bony knee sandwiched between my thighs. I listened to the slowing of his own breaths and concentrated on the little places our bodies touched.

I felt the tickle of his pubic hair against my ass, the warm, humid puffs of breath between my shoulder blades, the soft brush of his long hair against one of my shoulders.

How could I not fall for him? He was both soft and hard, funny and serious, loyal and defiant. He was fun and irreverent, brave and insecure. The man was a study in contradictions, but it worked to create the most interesting person I’d ever met.

When he left for home, how was I ever going to survive letting go of him? How was anyone I might find after Charlie going to compare?

It was simply impossible, and it scared me to death.

* * *

The next dayat work was a comedy show. For some reason, half the town turned up to see the pub since it was almost finished. Opening night was scheduled for Valentine’s Day, which was only a week away, and I could have used a productive day without everyone and his uncle showing up to get in our business.

“Well, if it isn’t the man I’ve been looking for,” Rhonda Dolas called out as she sashayed her way into the pub. Charlie and I were standing behind the bar double-checking our final drink order against our existing inventory. I looked up and bit back a sigh at the interruption.

“Hi, Rhonda,” Charlie replied, happy as could be. I glanced at him. Something was going on. “I’m over here.”

Rhonda’s forehead furrowed in confusion. “I was looking for Hudson, silly.”

It was a good thing she was still too far away to hear Charlie’s soft snort and no shit. I elbowed him.

“What can I do for you today? The booths look great by the way,” I said.

She flapped her manicured hand. “Oh, you. Such a sweet-talker, aren’t you? You haven’t changed a bit since high school.”

Charlie opened his mouth to contradict her, but I shot him a look. He bit his lip to hold back a snicker, and I quickly looked away from the spot where his teeth pressed into that tender flesh.

I cleared my throat. “Charlie said you had something else to drop off today?”

There was a rustling sound behind her. “Helloooo,” Stevie sang. “Special order for Charlie Murray. Is there a Charlie Murray in the house? Darling, where you at?”

Charlie snorted again. “Don’t growl,” he said under his breath. “It does things to me.”

“Why is he here?” I hissed.

“Over here,” Charlie said, waving his arm.

Stevie ducked around Rhonda and shimmied up to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools. “One half-caff, no whip, caramel macchiato for the pretty boy, and one Maxwell House for the vanilla bean,” he said, handing Charlie a giant paper cup and handing me a smaller one.

“Vanilla bean?” I asked.

Stevie rolled his eyes. “What else do you call a guy who only ever wants the plain house roast? There’s cream and sugar in the bag if you want to go crazy.”

He was right. I was a straight-up black coffee kind of guy. Did that make me boring?

“Simmer down, white bread,” Stevie teased. “I also brought you a bear claw. Nico told me they’re your favorite, but don’t eat the other pastry in there. I wanted Charlie to try my cream horn.”

Seriously?

“I’ll bet you did,” I mumbled, reaching for the bag.

As I reached in for my bear claw, I felt the edge of Charlie’s shoe drag lightly up the back of my calf. I smiled without glancing over at him, remembering I was exactly where I wanted to be.

“So,” Rhonda said, leaning over the counter to best display her assets to me. “Charlie said I might be able to sneak you out of here for a private lunch date.”

I glanced at the Irishman next to me and shot him big eyes.

“I did not say that. Had she asked, I would have told her you had that conference call with Devlin during lunch. Isn’t that right?”

I nodded and looked back at Rhonda. “Oh man, I forgot. But he’s right. Can’t put off a call to Ireland. If we push it any later, I’ll be smack-dab in the middle of their dinner rush with the time difference.”

“Oh sugar, you’re gonna break my heart,” she whined. “How about tomorrow? Just you and me?”

I was saved by the fuzz.

“Are we having a party in here?” The voice that carried across the space was the voice of the law around these parts. But he was also my brother-in-law.

Seth and Otto wandered into the pub. Otto held my niece Tisha on his back like a turtle shell.

“Hey, y’all,” I called out. “Come join us. Tish, you might need to help me eat this bear claw. Look how big it is.”

As soon as Otto and Seth moved out of the doorway, I saw they’d brought with them the tall, dark, and intimidating fire chief, Evan Paige.

One minute Stevie had been chatting across the bar with Charlie and the next he was crouched in a ball behind the bar next to Charlie’s feet.

“I’m not here,” he squeaked.

Augie entered the pub next, informing us Mama was safely ensconced in the antique shop with her paramour. Well, one of her paramours anyway.

“And I’ve noticed she looks a little… pregnant,” Augie said. “It’s not possible Milo…”

I leaned over and mumbled to Charlie. “Isn’t Milo a cat?”

Charlie’s smile was devious. “Should I pull a Stevie and screech to the heavens about someone deflowering my special girl?” he asked.

“Not fair.” Stevie pouted from down by our feet. “I was beside myself with guilt. I’m going to be the father of a passel of ugly-ass bastards. Me. I’m too young and pretty to be a baby daddy.”

Chief Paige’s head snapped up at the sound of Stevie’s voice. “Is that Stevie? Sweetheart, get out here, we need to talk.”

Life in Hobie was never boring.