Chapter 20

20

Charlie

Charlie’s Revelation:

You truly can’t judge a book by its cover.

The rest of the dinner was straightforward. West and Nico were good company, and when we finally got some alcohol into Hudson’s belly, the four of us ended up having a great evening. We laughed and talked and teased until it was late enough to remind West and Nico they had a little girl.

“We have to go relieve Goldie,” Nico said out front of the restaurant. “But I meant what I said about us taking you to Dallas one of these weekends to check out the clubs. Otto and Walker will go with us too. Otto’s always trying to give Seth a taste of the big-city gay scene for some reason.”

“I’d love that. There are only two gay bars in Cork, and neither would hardly be considered a club. I was hoping to be able to hit a big one while I’m here. I could go for some dirty dancing,” I admitted with a wink. Was there a part of me trying to bait Hudson? Maybe. I wondered if he even noticed or cared. How would he feel if I found someone at the club to snog?

Oh, who was I kidding? If Hudson was there, I wouldn’t be able to even think about kissing someone else. I was sick with wanting him. Only him. I needed to get past it. I’d already been there weeks with no hint of him wanting to renew anything physical with me. I could tell he still wanted me. I’d catch him looking at me with a heated gaze or hear him suck in a breath if I got a bit too close to him at work. But he never made a move, never even left an opening to imply he’d be open to me making the move.

West put his arm around Nico. “I’ll text them and see when they have the same weekend night free and we’ll make a plan. Sometimes Hudson’s even willing to go with, though he doesn’t appreciate it like we do.”

I glanced at my supposedly straight coworker. His blush was on in full force, and he was studying the pavement as if it had the cure for cancer written on it in pebble script. I wondered what would happen if his brother and brother-in-law knew Hudson wasn’t quite as straight as everyone thought. But apparently that subject was verboten. God forbid anyone think Hudson Wilde liked men.

“That’s so generous of him,” I said. “To be willing to give up an entire night of tits and arse just for us.”

He didn’t raise his head, but I saw Hudson’s nostrils flare.

Suddenly he raised his face to me in challenge. “There are plenty of straight women in those clubs. Don’t you worry about me.”

Good, now we were both annoyed. Perfect.

We said our farewells to the two of them before making our way back to the pub car park to retrieve Hudson’s truck.

We didn’t speak during the ride back to the ranch, which was unusual. I’d gotten into the habit of riding to and from work every day with him rather than drive the fancy SUV Bruce Ames had loaned me. The thing was huge, and I was convinced that driving a barn would be easier than driving that monstrosity.

“I had a nice time tonight,” I began in an effort to cut the silence on the final stretch of the long ranch driveway. “I really like West and Nico. I can see why you and your brother are so close.”

After a brief hesitation, he sighed. “Yeah. I’m thankful he moved back home to take over Doc’s practice. I was half-afraid he’d wind up across the country or something.”

“I didn’t realize Nico was from here too. He seems… I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like a small-town Texas boy, I guess.”

Hudson rubbed his thumb lightly over the center of his chest. It was a little subconscious gesture he did sometimes. I’d begun to notice he primarily did it when talking about his family. “He lived in San Francisco for many years before moving back. He owned a tattoo shop there. But his sister died and left him Pippa. When he moved back, he and West got together.”

I was sure there was more to the story, but I was also sure it would be better to ask Nico or West to tell it.

“Since the two of you are so close, was it hard for you when the two of them started dating?”

He pursed his lips in thought for a few beats. “I was happy for him. I mean, I still am. Nico’s a stand-up guy, and of course, he brought us Pippa.”

I lay back against the seat of the car and stretched my legs. “I remember when Cait and Donny got together. I was a pain in the arse. Resentful, jealous… annoyed. It took me a while to let go of always being her number one person, yeah?”

Hudson nodded. He seemed distracted somehow, and I wondered if the subject of his relationship with West was making him uncomfortable for some reason. “Yeah. There was a little of that. But I feel like I kind of abandoned him first when I decided to settle in Dallas instead of Hobie.”

“Why did you choose the city?”

When he didn’t answer me, I thought maybe I’d stumbled onto another forbidden topic. I was about to apologize when he suddenly whispered, “I can’t…” After pulling to a stop by the bunkhouse, he turned to face me in the dim cab of the truck. “I can’t just pretend that I don’t want to kiss you all the fucking time. It’s killing me, and I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

I stared at him.

“Why are you sorry for wanting to kiss me?”

He rubbed his hands over his face. “Because it’s selfish and stupid. And we work together. It’s inappropriate, and—”

I didn’t let him get any further. I lurched toward him and slammed my lips into his before he could get another word out. The kiss was hard and unforgiving, almost punishing in its ferocity. Our teeth clacked and I almost gelded him with my knee while straddling his lap.

His cold hands hit the warm skin of my lower back under my shirt, and I bit back a squeak of surprise, arching into him to get away from the icicles. Hudson’s body was warmer than his hands, so I pushed closer to him while our mouths continued to compete for dominance. His teeth bit lightly on my lower lip before his hands clasped the sides of my face and turned it so he could move down to nip at the skin of my neck.

“Fucking creamy skin drives me batshit,” he murmured between nibbles.

I reached between us to feel the hardness straining against his zipper and couldn’t help but push hard against it with a groan. Fuck, I wanted to see that beast again.

“Please,” I whimpered like a horny kid. “Let me suck you off.”

Hudson’s teeth grazed my collarbone, causing a bit of damp in my shorts that was only going to get worse if he continued along in that manner. His cold hands had warmed up against my skin and found their way into the back of my jeans. I wiggled off his lap and reached for his fly, but his large hands clamped around my wrists to stop me.

I looked up in surprise. His face was flushed, eyes bright with huge pupils, and lips wet from our kisses. He wanted me, wanted this. So why was he stopping me?

“Wait,” he said between heavy breaths. “We should talk about this. What if… I mean, I’m not… I can’t give you what you need, what you deserve. It’s not fair. And we work together. And I…”

My sex-addled brain could not make heads or tails of what he was trying to say, but I damned sure knew the bit he hadn’t said there at the end was about him being straight.

His rejection might as well have come in the form of a bucket of ice water.

“Right. Silly me. Fucking with the resident heterosexual. Off I go, then. Good night, Hudson.”

Before he had a chance to respond, I was out of the truck and hauling arse toward the bunkhouse. I heard the slam of the driver door but didn’t look back to see if he was following me. I made my way quickly into my bedroom and locked the door behind me, slipping my earbuds on as fast as I could and jacking the music up loud enough to allow me to pretend he hadn’t followed me and banged on the door, begging me to come back to him.